Blah blah blah love. People talk about it likes its an actual thing and can be measured. Its a Unicorn at best. A concept. Who should we ask for the consumate definition so we can end this for once and for all?
Warning: Do NOT come at me with that other fantasy of a dude in a white robe that knows all and sees all and says he loves us and yet lets the shit that goes on in this world continue. I will become cranky with a touch of psycho I swear.
Love can also be a destruction of self and as long as you’re willing to destroy yourself with self-hatred (no matter the degree), then you’ll always allow other to destroy you. My Narc was able to destroy me because I didn’t know myself well enough to stop destroying myself first. I learned a valuable lesson by being mirrored and destroyed by him.
Lol was that an automated response generated by a minion?
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Don’t be so cheeky.
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You know I love you 😘
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That is always good to know and I shall keep it as watchword to my dark and ice-filled heart.
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I do not agree that love does not destroy. Sure it can.
I have seen it destroy many people, friendships and other relationships.
One-sided love has lead many down the path to self-destruction.
Everyone is always so quick to point out how grand and wonderful and blissful love is, often ignoring the darker, more dastardly aspects of this oft misunderstood feeling/emotion/whatever.
I was told my whole life I was loved, loved, loved, loved. Look how I turned out.
B_E, I only know you from this forum but I think you’ve turned out quite well. Intelligent, self aware, and wise. Do you mean because you are unable to feel love?
I am illustrating the point that I was “loved” and adored and fawned over my entire life, and I turned out to be quite the force of destruction.
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B-E, I have to agree. Love, especially one sided love, can tear you down like a building undergoing demolition. Plus, it depends on the definition of love.
Love, in its correct and normal form, does not destroy anyone. It empowers and makes you strong and confident. It doesn’t sound like what you experienced was love. It must all start with self love. Self love doesn’t allow for people who will hurt you to remain near you. Self love is key.
Even if we truly love, we are not always just, we may say or do things in the heat of the moment we later regret… love does wound sometimes, it is inevitable… BUT love always seeks forgiveness and reconciliation, that is the difference for me!
Treating her as an object, cheating, hot and cold fury – he would not be *able* to do that if he loved her! But we also have to take into consideration that some of us have never been shown what love is, how it manifests, what it feels like… how would they know? The question is: can it be taught/learned?
Would a narcissistic psychopath let you borrow a large sum of money then a few months down the road discard you?
And being I’m starting to believe what my intuition and brain knew but my heart didn’t want to believe, if I was to write him a letter stating that I know what he is and believe he could be in on the disgusting stuff that is going on in his town and much more, and let him know he is paid in full by me because of all the crap he has put me through and basically let him know exactly what I think of him now and it is the complete opposite of what I always have told him. Would that get at him? I know once when we were together he thought I called him a narcissist which I didn’t but he blew up and treated me like total crap and I had to apologize over and over for something I didn’t do. But if that made him mad, would me letting him have it all no sugar coating anything, would that kinda hurt his ego or would it just make his head swell bigger? I know they don’t like the outside world to truly know who they are. Hope you can help . Thank you.😊
I’m certain it has done just that and I’d like your take. After years of suffering verbal abuse from a mid ranger I am finally done. I feel nothing perhaps I’m numb or convinced myself of it as to not give a reaction anymore. Of course this drives him crazy and he keeps starting arguments over nothing then scoffs at my lack of emotion. Today he wouldn’t let it go so I told him i no longer felt anything after years of his verbal abuse. He feigned tears and apologized profusely, blamed his “crazy” and “mentally challenged” exs and is now love bombing me. What do you think he’ll do when this doesn’t work and I continue wth no emotion? If he finally leaves will he try to take our daughter from me??
Truth. It builds and supports. And after surviving emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of multiple people, including narcissists, it’s difficult to continue to believe in love. Not sure I’m still a “love devotee”. I’m more skeptical. These lyrics spoke to me tonight.
“Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good.
Hear my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could.
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know.
Wave goodbye, wish me well
You’ve gotta let me go”
The Killers, Human
Ditto indy
Im existing – im not getting through the head / heart battle . Still reading but not commenting .
Well done to all of you surviving and thriving
And those of us who know this and still stay. Pure insanity. I am that.
Blah blah blah love. People talk about it likes its an actual thing and can be measured. Its a Unicorn at best. A concept. Who should we ask for the consumate definition so we can end this for once and for all?
Warning: Do NOT come at me with that other fantasy of a dude in a white robe that knows all and sees all and says he loves us and yet lets the shit that goes on in this world continue. I will become cranky with a touch of psycho I swear.
Love can also be a destruction of self and as long as you’re willing to destroy yourself with self-hatred (no matter the degree), then you’ll always allow other to destroy you. My Narc was able to destroy me because I didn’t know myself well enough to stop destroying myself first. I learned a valuable lesson by being mirrored and destroyed by him.
BOTTOM LINE!!!
Hi Mr. Tudor. You seem busier than usual lately. Hope you’re doing ok 💓
I am always busy Love, much to do and much to get done. I am well thank you for your kind enquiry.
Lol was that an automated response generated by a minion?
Don’t be so cheeky.
You know I love you 😘
That is always good to know and I shall keep it as watchword to my dark and ice-filled heart.
I do not agree that love does not destroy. Sure it can.
I have seen it destroy many people, friendships and other relationships.
One-sided love has lead many down the path to self-destruction.
Everyone is always so quick to point out how grand and wonderful and blissful love is, often ignoring the darker, more dastardly aspects of this oft misunderstood feeling/emotion/whatever.
I was told my whole life I was loved, loved, loved, loved. Look how I turned out.
B_E, I only know you from this forum but I think you’ve turned out quite well. Intelligent, self aware, and wise. Do you mean because you are unable to feel love?
I never said I did not turn out well.
I am illustrating the point that I was “loved” and adored and fawned over my entire life, and I turned out to be quite the force of destruction.
B-E, I have to agree. Love, especially one sided love, can tear you down like a building undergoing demolition. Plus, it depends on the definition of love.
Love, in its correct and normal form, does not destroy anyone. It empowers and makes you strong and confident. It doesn’t sound like what you experienced was love. It must all start with self love. Self love doesn’t allow for people who will hurt you to remain near you. Self love is key.
Agreed, B.E.
Spot on.
Even if we truly love, we are not always just, we may say or do things in the heat of the moment we later regret… love does wound sometimes, it is inevitable… BUT love always seeks forgiveness and reconciliation, that is the difference for me!
Treating her as an object, cheating, hot and cold fury – he would not be *able* to do that if he loved her! But we also have to take into consideration that some of us have never been shown what love is, how it manifests, what it feels like… how would they know? The question is: can it be taught/learned?
Someday, I’ll believe this….It’s one of those things that is supposed to make sense.
As usually You are very right. simple as that isn’t it ? 🙂 Hope You are well and haveva grear day! x
Would a narcissistic psychopath let you borrow a large sum of money then a few months down the road discard you?
And being I’m starting to believe what my intuition and brain knew but my heart didn’t want to believe, if I was to write him a letter stating that I know what he is and believe he could be in on the disgusting stuff that is going on in his town and much more, and let him know he is paid in full by me because of all the crap he has put me through and basically let him know exactly what I think of him now and it is the complete opposite of what I always have told him. Would that get at him? I know once when we were together he thought I called him a narcissist which I didn’t but he blew up and treated me like total crap and I had to apologize over and over for something I didn’t do. But if that made him mad, would me letting him have it all no sugar coating anything, would that kinda hurt his ego or would it just make his head swell bigger? I know they don’t like the outside world to truly know who they are. Hope you can help . Thank you.😊
Understood and noted.
Nuff Said!!! 🙂
I’m certain it has done just that and I’d like your take. After years of suffering verbal abuse from a mid ranger I am finally done. I feel nothing perhaps I’m numb or convinced myself of it as to not give a reaction anymore. Of course this drives him crazy and he keeps starting arguments over nothing then scoffs at my lack of emotion. Today he wouldn’t let it go so I told him i no longer felt anything after years of his verbal abuse. He feigned tears and apologized profusely, blamed his “crazy” and “mentally challenged” exs and is now love bombing me. What do you think he’ll do when this doesn’t work and I continue wth no emotion? If he finally leaves will he try to take our daughter from me??
Truth. It builds and supports. And after surviving emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of multiple people, including narcissists, it’s difficult to continue to believe in love. Not sure I’m still a “love devotee”. I’m more skeptical. These lyrics spoke to me tonight.
“Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good.
Hear my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could.
And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know.
Wave goodbye, wish me well
You’ve gotta let me go”
The Killers, Human
Ditto indy
Im existing – im not getting through the head / heart battle . Still reading but not commenting .
Well done to all of you surviving and thriving