The Narc Days of Christmas – No. 1

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28 thoughts on “The Narc Days of Christmas – No. 1”

  1. Ah, Christmas. Haven’t been sent to the ER yet, but if I make it through Christmas there’s an anniversary and both our birthdays coming up in the next few months. Cheers.

  2. I cannot wait to see what comes next.

    That is if most can make it the 12 Days.

    Fuel barrels roasting on an open fire
    Greaters ripping out your heart
    Socios with their eyes all aglow
    You`ll find it hard to sleep tonight

  3. Are narcissists more likely to hoover around the holidays, and then discard after? The ex narc hoovered his DLS back right around Thanksgiving. She’s not a particularly attractive person. I’m just wondering if holiday blues, and/or the desire for attention and gifts would come into play? Thank you, HG.

    1. Holidays and anniversaries often cause you to enter the sixth sphere of influence which means that there is a Hoover Trigger which is the catalyst for a hoover to occur (subject to the Hoover Execution Criteria then being met)

      1. My ex narc Hoovered me again 2 days ago. I’m still entering his 6th sphere of influence.

        Tis the narc season.

      2. That makes perfect sense. I think those dates trigger memories for everyone. Most would never consider acting on those memories. As always, thank you!

      3. Aw no wonder there was more begging and persistence this time. Funny I don’t even celebrate these holidays. But it makes sense because he does. I only celebrated in the past to honor his culture.

      4. My ex never celebrated any special occasions he had no time for them and could not understand all the fuss anyone of his staff wanting a day to celebrate the wife’s birthday etc made him annoyed is this unusual for this behaviour?

      1. 11 more days? Bring them. I need to face them and relive them more than once until I become desensitized and they no longer have power. Then i can purge them. Never completely but its like looking at a movie of someone elses life and not your own. You see what has happened. You see that it dd not break you (quite the contrary), and you vow to remember so that it stops with you and takes no more victims. Im ready HG. Bring them and dont hold back.

  4. I can’t recall the exact situation from my early childhood but few things were always in place :
    blame from my matrinarc how she was tired, how much she had to prepare for xmas etc etc. firstly we have watched doing it to my dad…then to us once we were older…
    arguments and fights : EVERY XMAS just right before the Christmas Eve where we supposed to enjoy our evenings…
    when me and my brother were old enough she would involve us…
    she would then blackmail us… that the wont be any presents or we won’t go to Nanas or she simply will not throw any xmas party… so we ended up crying beggining. ..all for nothing…
    little we did know that she loved seeing us relieved and giving her fuel…. on the first day of xmas…. it went to the point that once the xmas presents really wasn’t there….
    I am trying to rebuild it for my boys now… it’s always triggering as every N man I was with ruined the xmas, once it was devaluation stage….

    1. YES…every year my mother would put us through hell because everything had to be perfect. She’d berate and beat my father for being of no help to her, attack my sisters and I for not helping out to her sterling standards, curse us all. Company would come & she’d be all (fake) smiles until they left. The holidays were a thing to endure, not enjoy.

  5. Sad but true. But no overnight stay anywhere-just contain the shame and sadness at home. Never his fault of course. When he tripped on the stairs (hungover) it was because someone left a toy on them to trip him (even though we turned on the light to show him there was nothing there). The price would be screaming how useless we all were and the breaking of a few things of ours. Another year he laid the camera in the chair and the flash was hot and burned a hole in the cushion. Our fault-we moved it ( we didnt dare touch his stuff) more shouting and no opening presents until he called us in from the kitchen where we sat silent until he said we could. Then we were yelled at not to look sad and be grateful. Of course my Mother would offer that he felt bad that he could not provide more for us. Enter Company- instantly he is smiling, sending us to fetch things for guests, stories, etc. Then- the time we dreaded. The Company leaves, he is no longer the star. We receive the litany of infractions we caused that embarassed him and go to sleep after listening to him berate (and worse) my Mother. Yes…Christmas is a special time with those unwilling to share the spotlight with Jesus. Or anyone else for that matter. But she “loved” him and couldnt live without him and so it goes…….

    1. what? A nightmare before x-mas. I did have great holidays. My mother has issues but being a narc was not one of them.

      I do not know what to say.

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