As I’m writing these notes I’m sitting down at my piano again after months of not being able to due to illness, still reacting to the news of my cancer which I’ve been avoiding lifetime can’t stop crying. It’s too much, if there are any believers out there please include me in your sincere prayers I do ask it with all my heart I don’t know what’s going to happen to the rest of my life now that I got this and the love of my life is gone, my narc…
Clary, you can beat the cancer! I’m sending good wishes ur way. Try to remember, the ‘love of your life’ (as you describe your narc) is not real. He is just a reflection of you. I have to keep reminding myself this because i too, still love my narc. Flowers for you💐
Hi clary. Narcs have limited emotions, so they just reflect/mirror your own emotions. They can’t feel happiness, sadness, love, empathy. So in situations that require these emotions, they will feel nothing. They look to your expressions to decide what expression to display. Also, narcs will mirror your traits in order to look good. For example, if you are caring, helpful etc. they will do the same. It’s because their own identity is not developed. In essence, narcs are just your reflection. I was so sad when i learned this because i guess in loving my narc, i was just loving myself 😞
But i still do love him. I can’t help it.
Hi HG,
have you written about your most brutal treatment of a specific IP? If so, where? I think it is important read for those that romanticize greater. It’s easy to do, as you are so lethally charming, figuratively speaking.
Thank you, looking forward to it! Is this the material that the good doctor you spoke to questioned whether you cross over into psychopathic like behaviors?
Interesting, I would ask what, but I am guessing it may not be ok to share here. I respect that. I would love to continue to learn what you find on your end of the exploration of psychopathy. If you are interested, I am also willing to share what I find on my end, if anything note worthy. It is all just a mess right now, it seems. Not sure if how they divide it is useful anyway, given the variability in definitions of psychopathy. I think B-E has some info on this topic as well. I recall her sharing on this.
It is now an area I never expected I would be interested in, and I am.
It could be something neurological, you know sometimes when we’re stuck at the floor … thinking abd our mind wanders without noticing, in neurological order therapies this is called a mental lagoon it’s also part of neurological disordered formed between the ages of conception to six years old
This image had dualing effects on me. I was impressed with the artistic expression of the artist. It’s powerful and dark with a twisted view of women as sexual, toxic and not human. I think it is perfect for this blog. It doesn’t pull punches and it doesn’t romanticize being on call.
Or like a Genie in a Bottle with him choosing when he takes the bottle off of the shelf and I get to come out and play. Told him that and he didn’t deny it. Hated that feeling.
This happened to me until I sent him straight to hell with all his disgusting family and no that is not a bad word I do sincerely mean it with all my heart you reep what you sow. It’s not just biblical it’s a principle of life , what Tudor might call the boomerang effect.
The picture is so horrid. You could have picturized it differently, but you choose this visual due to your simmering fury. I wish you did not have this constant fury.
If my narc wants me on demand, i no longer have a problem with it. I provide him with fuel (non intimate). He is depressed and i want to help him.
That is dangerous because you will continue in the abuse cycle until s point where you won’t be able to get out that’s a red flag . Read tudors books on red flags and black flags on kindle, I have most of them completely helped me plus the blog abd books I buy from professionals, personal experience, psychologist friends and I follow Hispanic psychologists on Facebook all big part of help on dealing recognizing abuse and how to run away from it forever, good luck and merry Christmas. Remember this is all for your protection if you keep feeding him you’ll develops a very hard codependent addictive relationship that is hard to cut off without professional help both psychiatric and psychological BECAUSE of the stress post trauma or post trauma stress disorder better known as ptsd which always happens as a secondary effect aftermath cause-effect disease due to the abuse, never fails I went through it with my mother and dysfunctional family including my husband and I’m happy to say I’m free because god freed me and the help here and there plus the one I have not mentioned which is more in the Christian world has helped me lots and more than ever and never last has saved my life in every sense of the way. Unfortunately because if the emotional pain he made me through plus his thousand cheats and a complicated past I’m very ill physically up to a point that I have a rare form of cancer. I was born with an autoimmune disease and all this stress can cause serious deadly sometimes incurable illnesses not necessarily mine, I have hope of overcoming and I say this with tears. Merry Christmas and don’t forge even when the whole world rejects you, the Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally and we’re always on his mind. That’s why he gave his only son, for the rest of us to have a fulfilling life full of hope, love, peace and power of sound mind god bless you and all
You see anyone would willingly but it takes two to create relationship … can You imagine how great and powerful that would feel if/when someone was actually on demand for You without any machinations etc. etc…. and don’t doubt it please. IT IS going to happen….
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
As I’m writing these notes I’m sitting down at my piano again after months of not being able to due to illness, still reacting to the news of my cancer which I’ve been avoiding lifetime can’t stop crying. It’s too much, if there are any believers out there please include me in your sincere prayers I do ask it with all my heart I don’t know what’s going to happen to the rest of my life now that I got this and the love of my life is gone, my narc…
Clary M,
Sending warm healing vibes your way. The tribe of healers are here for you. Hugsssss virtually.
Thank you
Clary, you can beat the cancer! I’m sending good wishes ur way. Try to remember, the ‘love of your life’ (as you describe your narc) is not real. He is just a reflection of you. I have to keep reminding myself this because i too, still love my narc. Flowers for you💐
Explain reflection if you…
Hi clary. Narcs have limited emotions, so they just reflect/mirror your own emotions. They can’t feel happiness, sadness, love, empathy. So in situations that require these emotions, they will feel nothing. They look to your expressions to decide what expression to display. Also, narcs will mirror your traits in order to look good. For example, if you are caring, helpful etc. they will do the same. It’s because their own identity is not developed. In essence, narcs are just your reflection. I was so sad when i learned this because i guess in loving my narc, i was just loving myself 😞
But i still do love him. I can’t help it.
God help you if you’re not. It is your duty.
Beckon call.
Thanks HG
Hi HG,
have you written about your most brutal treatment of a specific IP? If so, where? I think it is important read for those that romanticize greater. It’s easy to do, as you are so lethally charming, figuratively speaking.
Indeed I am. This appears in Dark Cupid which is a work in progress Indy.
Thank you, looking forward to it! Is this the material that the good doctor you spoke to questioned whether you cross over into psychopathic like behaviors?
No were talking about some different things that I had done Indy.
Interesting, I would ask what, but I am guessing it may not be ok to share here. I respect that. I would love to continue to learn what you find on your end of the exploration of psychopathy. If you are interested, I am also willing to share what I find on my end, if anything note worthy. It is all just a mess right now, it seems. Not sure if how they divide it is useful anyway, given the variability in definitions of psychopathy. I think B-E has some info on this topic as well. I recall her sharing on this.
It is now an area I never expected I would be interested in, and I am.
I have committed it to the pages of the ongoing works Indy. You will be able to read about it in due course and make your own mind up.
Cool Beans!!!!
***Cue Dragnet song***
Just the facts ma’am.
Which IP beared the worst brunt? One you have written about or one we don’t know about yet?
You will see in the fullness of time Clarece.
A question if I may.
Is there a reason you stand and stare blankly at a primary source of supply while they are doing something?
I have read that you like to do a baleful intimidating stare but this is just blank.
Hi Brian, this is either a failure to know what mask to use or we are scheming. Depends on the type of narcissist.
Normally there is blinking red text on your forehead “processing…”
It could be something neurological, you know sometimes when we’re stuck at the floor … thinking abd our mind wanders without noticing, in neurological order therapies this is called a mental lagoon it’s also part of neurological disordered formed between the ages of conception to six years old
I don’t understand the repeated gas masks in the pics. What do they symbolize?
Objectification. Losing your own features.
I only see one
Excellent interpretation indy!
This image had dualing effects on me. I was impressed with the artistic expression of the artist. It’s powerful and dark with a twisted view of women as sexual, toxic and not human. I think it is perfect for this blog. It doesn’t pull punches and it doesn’t romanticize being on call.
It’s exactly how a man like Tudor really sees us , plus he’s chauvinistic,seriously you are, I love you but you are, Tudor
Or like a Genie in a Bottle with him choosing when he takes the bottle off of the shelf and I get to come out and play. Told him that and he didn’t deny it. Hated that feeling.
This happened to me until I sent him straight to hell with all his disgusting family and no that is not a bad word I do sincerely mean it with all my heart you reep what you sow. It’s not just biblical it’s a principle of life , what Tudor might call the boomerang effect.
The picture is so horrid. You could have picturized it differently, but you choose this visual due to your simmering fury. I wish you did not have this constant fury.
If my narc wants me on demand, i no longer have a problem with it. I provide him with fuel (non intimate). He is depressed and i want to help him.
That is dangerous because you will continue in the abuse cycle until s point where you won’t be able to get out that’s a red flag . Read tudors books on red flags and black flags on kindle, I have most of them completely helped me plus the blog abd books I buy from professionals, personal experience, psychologist friends and I follow Hispanic psychologists on Facebook all big part of help on dealing recognizing abuse and how to run away from it forever, good luck and merry Christmas. Remember this is all for your protection if you keep feeding him you’ll develops a very hard codependent addictive relationship that is hard to cut off without professional help both psychiatric and psychological BECAUSE of the stress post trauma or post trauma stress disorder better known as ptsd which always happens as a secondary effect aftermath cause-effect disease due to the abuse, never fails I went through it with my mother and dysfunctional family including my husband and I’m happy to say I’m free because god freed me and the help here and there plus the one I have not mentioned which is more in the Christian world has helped me lots and more than ever and never last has saved my life in every sense of the way. Unfortunately because if the emotional pain he made me through plus his thousand cheats and a complicated past I’m very ill physically up to a point that I have a rare form of cancer. I was born with an autoimmune disease and all this stress can cause serious deadly sometimes incurable illnesses not necessarily mine, I have hope of overcoming and I say this with tears. Merry Christmas and don’t forge even when the whole world rejects you, the Heavenly Father loves us unconditionally and we’re always on his mind. That’s why he gave his only son, for the rest of us to have a fulfilling life full of hope, love, peace and power of sound mind god bless you and all
You see anyone would willingly but it takes two to create relationship … can You imagine how great and powerful that would feel if/when someone was actually on demand for You without any machinations etc. etc…. and don’t doubt it please. IT IS going to happen….
That was one main problem with both of them. I am not xfinity tv. Pissed them off.
Explain on demand I’m not a movie from a television provision company hahhaha
Seriously I don’t get it I’m joking but I don’t get it