The Narcissistic Truths – No 117



40 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No 117”

  1. Love, your ex-narc is hoovering you here? I never told my ex about this site, because i don’t want him to come here and read everything i write. He would easily figure out who i am here, read about my vulnerabilities, and possibly have an extra advantage over me.

      1. I’m sorry Mr. Tudor. He is yet another one of my ex narcs. They just won’t stop hoovering me.
        Terry honey, I said I will call you later.

  2. *lol* indy, I would so love to go with you for a drink!!!!
    I got the flowers minus the wine, and I was also about to ask how he had found that picture of my ex … but my exnarc said about the huge bunch of red roses he had put on the dining table that they were for us, not for me. πŸ˜‰

  3. Wow, you found a picture of my ex! For some silly reason, he would always pull this look (one eye brow up with that smooth grin). He also happened to be an alcoholic too. This picture, the sum of my past 2 years. Hahahaha…minus the damned flowers.

      1. Indeed, he was handsome and charming….and abusive. It cost me my belief in love.

      2. I’m sorry. I know you will find a much much more handsome man who will restore your faith in love!

      3. Hi Love,
        I hope that you find love in the best way possible and experience empathic love that is PLUCKY (I didn’t say the other word, thanks HG). I think you need a fire filled empathy that has both brains and looks. Trust me, you will be safer, girl, and will not be bored. That is my unicorn as I detox from those spicy narcissists.

        Here’s to healthy love in 2017…for ALL of us…the kind that is so hard to understand and find…Now, what will we do with this novel thing???????

      4. Thank you Indy! I’ve removed the Tiger Eye stone from my night stand. Not ready to deal with the outcome of all that pluckiness. 😁
        An empathic man with brains, brawn, and fire sounds like yet another unicorn. But I trust you Indy. If you say they exist, then I’m a believer. πŸ’œ

  4. This blog is unique and incredibly informative and, in my humble, I believe it is also therapeutic to a degree too, with the information on how to leave and not stay in the abuse cycle and how to recognize it in the future. Also, you do a great job, HG, in keeping this blog interactive, alive and a constant learning environment.

    With that said, I think it can be triggering for some people, too, in the sense that certain details would “trigger” a memory of past traumas which can be distressing for some. That is something that cannot be controlled. The problem comes when people do not know how to deal with personal triggers, how to self soothe when they are distressed. Some people say that DBT groups are triggering for some and it is true. And, these DBT groups are a safe place to be triggered in, because you can practice those soothing skills in vivo. it sometimes comes from the frank honesty in DBT groups as well. It also can come from simply being exposed to everyday experiences, some abuse stories told by others, some by a smell, and some not so clear. That is where a good therapist can help and teach methods of healing and soothing and working through past trauma eventually. All signs of how traumatizing it is to be entangled by a narcissist.

  5. Love I understand what you are saying, I have thou gone back and forth. I have been in a long debate with a person more on a private level due to they were convinced never to speak to HG or come here, yet it’s ok to read his books.
    They are slowly coming around and I did ask if it was ok to mention this as to they are now in the sidelines observing.
    Sad due to this information is not available anywhere but here.

    1. DFA, that is nice of you to ease their fears.
      Hello Sideline Person. Welcome!
      Mr. Tudor doesn’t bite. Even if we ask him to πŸ˜‰ He’s very strict about his rules. Since we are remote tertiaries, we provide him little to NO fuel. If anything, I feel I am the one obtaining fuel from him and this forum.

      1. Oh no, maybe I’m a narcissist! Do you think I am Mr. Tudor? Am I part of your team???

      2. Love me nice lol, no all I spoke was truth.
        What HG has created here can not be found anywhere else. This information is benefical if one wants to listen to understand, discuss with an open mind.

      3. That is too bad Mr. Tudor! πŸ˜”
        I got excited for a second. Even went online to order Louboutin black spiked boots with a spiked collar to go along with my newfound Narc persona.
        I will still purchase the boots… A consolation prize to myself.

  6. Hi Mr. Tudor. I was forum hopping tonight. Your name and work were mentioned often on different sites about narcissism. Most recommended reading your books yet discouraged interacting with you on this site – saying it is triggering. I’m puzzled because I think this interaction is the best thing ever. I’m grateful you’re doing this! It helps to heal and enlighten. I don’t understand why some would be afraid to engage with you. You answer all my questions and I am educated by you and everyone else who posts.

    1. Those who read here see the way I interact with people and that is in accordance with the protection afforded by the five rules. I can only conclude that people ASSUME it would be triggering to interact with me and have therefore not done so. Of course it is a matter for them and people are at different stages in how they deal with people like me, but it will cause them to miss out on valuable information. I hope you were promoting the good name of HG on these other sites Love!

      1. You are actually the first forum I’ve ever interacted on. I feel safe here. I found the other sites greatly lacking. Questions were not answered, just long threads of one-way communication. They were like ghost towns. There was no energy. I don’t want to go back there again!

      2. Yes love, I know what you mean. There are many not really moderated forums, and everyone there wants something from the others … I think HG said it somewhere … like … dancing together around in circles in the dark or something like that …
        I tried a narc forum but that made my head spin.

        This blog here seems so much more real to me. This is my reality now.
        (Yes, I am aware how that sounds).

    2. Love,

      Interesting that they feel the interactions with HG is triggering. Some of his posts are triggering because they remind me of interactions with the narcs. They also empower me and have given me the answers I needed for closure. I’ve suggested HG blogs and books also let them know to prepare for straightforward in your face truth.

    1. There’s a very good book by my favorite Irish writer (next to William Butler Yeats, of course), Marian Keyes “This Charming Man”. It’s more about physical abuse, but very good and still funny (as all her books) and the women win in the end. πŸ™‚

      1. Thanks Ava,
        I used to go through many books as a child. I loved anything with a fantasy theme.
        I picked up reading again in my thirties.

        I did get into a bad habit by reading the ending first. Lol… I hated when the main character died and now I can’t handle any story that will make me cry.
        This blog brings out that emotion in me everyday.
        I will look that book up Ava. I love all the readers suggestions and a happy ending.

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