No! You Are the Narcissist – Part 3


I wrote previously about the situation where you tell a lesser member of our kind that you know what they are and how they react to it. What then of the response of those of us who belong to the greater school of narcissism? How do we react when you tell us that you know exactly what we are?

Those of us in the greater school possess three attributes which are relevant to this matter. Awareness, intelligence and malice. We know what we do. We know that this is regarded as wrong by other people (although we are always able to justify our behaviour when considered from our perspective) and we know that our behaviour hurts people but again it is entirely acceptable because we matter and you do not. We are superior and our sense of entitlement allows us to do as we please. We also do not possess the burden of guilt, remorse or compassion and therefore the effects of our behaviour cause us no trouble. There is no moral compass to guide us or hinder us. We may also be aware of exactly what we are, a narcissist. This is not always the case but we do know that we do is considered as abusive. We are intelligent enough to realise that the accusations of abuse fit with what is regarded as abuse, but we are also intelligent enough to know that we must engage in this behaviour because it is necessary to the preservation of our existence. The inherent tension that might exist between choosing to abuse someone and the impact on our existence is one whereby the need to exist will always outweigh the downsides of abusing someone (which are few when looked at through our world view. You would feel “bad” for hurting someone, you would be concerned about how this would affect you relationship or your friendship, you would worry about how others would view you, you would be concerned if it involved the authorities, your employer, your church and so forth. These concerns are much reduced in our world).

You may not realise that we are a narcissist but you do know our behaviour is abusive. Should you label us as an abuser and in support of this contention list the various instances of our behaviour, how do we respond. Our reaction is not subconscious and immediate like those of our lesser kind. We do not respond in a knee jerk reaction. We know that we are abusive and your labelling of us as such initially has two reactions.

The first is that we fear that we are losing control. Control is hugely important to us because we want you doing everything that we want and nothing that we do not want in order to ensure that you provide us with fuel. Our machinations and manipulations are all designed to gain and maintain control. Much of this is achieved by you remaining oblivious to what is happening to you or mitigating its effect by blaming yourselves (which we aim to achieve) or making excuses for us (again, something we aim to bring about). If you do not truly understand what is happening to you, you remain paralysed in this confusion and you will not do anything about it. You will not challenge us, you will not try to escape us, you will not shut off the supply of fuel. Accordingly, we need to keep you bound to us and compliant. This requires control. If we think that our control is being challenged, is slipping or is being eroded then we must establish it and do so quickly. I will return to how this is done in a moment.

The second reaction is that your moment of enlightenment that we are an abuser (or even worse you actually know we are a narcissist) is one of wounding. You have found us out. You have seen through us. You have worked us out. The potential loss of control is troubling, this being found out is terrifying and damaging. You have wounded us because you have criticised us. By telling us that you know what we are, we have failed in maintaining the state of confusion, bewilderment and ignorance. You have pierced the veil. We are mightier than you, superior to you and better than you, how can it be that someone like you has managed to unravel what we are? What else are you capable of? Who might you tell? We have failed. We hate failing. It reminds us of things we have consigned to the darkest recesses of our mind and now you, you hateful, treacherous, disloyal bitch have done this on purpose. You have done this after everything that we have done for you, because you want to hurt us don’t you? This failure to keep you in the dark amounts to a massive criticism of us. This in turn ignites the churning fury that is always there beneath the surface. This ignited fury will mean we either withdraw, unleash cold fury or unleash heated fury.

Our awareness of what we are actually makes us more vulnerable to the accusation of “I know what you are, you are an abuser, a narcissist” than those of our lesser or mid-range brethren. We are far more susceptible to being wounded by this outing. Our awareness equates to a weakness.

All is not lost for us of course. Our intelligence means that whilst we know what we are and we are wounded by your awareness and accusation, we are not without the means of addressing it. Our intelligence allows us to deflect and deny. We will utilise these twins to fight back, applying our considerable minds to deny what you have said. We will challenge your evidence, deny its existence, twist it around, pull it apart, change the subject, focus on something different, blame-shift and project. Powered by our heated fury this onslaught will be brutal and sustained as we fight to regain control. We will batter you into submission so that you become frightened, upset, angry or frustrated and thus you will give us fuel. Our further manipulations will allow us to regain control as you shrink back from our vicious words. Everything will be thrown at you in order to stop the wounding, regain control and gain the required fuel to power this defence mechanism.

If the situation is one where we cannot risk heated fury then we will issue a flat denial and engage cold fury by subjecting you to an icy and prolonged silent treatment, either of the present or absent variety.

If really necessary and this is of the last resort, we will withdraw to escape your wounding and find solace with another who will provide us fuel to repair the gaping wound that you have ripped in us. We will remain away from you for some time as we recover and enjoy the fuel from other sources as we recuperate. We will return of course because there is a score to settle and more fuel to draw from you, but for now that will have to wait.

We will also engage our energies, once we have gained more fuel (either from you if we unleash our heated fury, from you and others if we unleash cold fury and from others if we withdraw) in rolling out a smear campaign against you. Now you know what we are and we know you know, we need to ensure that this pollution does not spread elsewhere. We will up our seduction of other sources so that they like us all the more and ensure we spread poison about you so you are not believed if you try to tell other people that you know what we are.

Finally, the third attribute comes into play. Malice. The mid-range of our kind would withdraw and seek fuel elsewhere and be done with you for some time until a hoover of positive fuel through a Benign Hoover takes place. The mid-range of our kind would unleash heated fury or cold fury to stabilise the position but then would engage a Respite Hoover or a Preventative Hoover aimed at playing down what you know, restoring the golden period for a while so you focus on that and not this new knowledge or to prevent you leaving us armed with this new knowledge. The mid-range narcissist would do all of this to try and diffuse the situation and prevent it being brought up again. This does not apply to those of us who are of the greater variety. You must be punished for your terrible offence against us. Your transgression must be addressed. Your treachery must meet with a consequence. Once we have established control again and recovered from your awful wounding of us then you will be subject to a malign and brutal campaign as punishment for what you have done. This will happen if you remain with us in a relationship. It will happen if you have tried to escape us. We want to rain hell fire down on you in order to punish you for your disgusting behaviour. This is our right. This is our entitlement. This is how we respond.

You may know what we are, but if you are dealing with the greater of our kind, you may reflect on whether you really ought to make it known to us.

32 thoughts on “No! You Are the Narcissist – Part 3

  1. IntelAvatar says:

    Each of our comments reflect our kosmic address. It’s like sending out our exact location in space time. The Hoover is set to detect potential fuel. Like a cosmic self sustaining entity, it roams the astral plane looking for tortured souls. A super narcissist has minions to scour the causal subtle and gross realms for munchies. Queen of Orion? Anu? Some great avatar perhaps capable of making baby avatars. 😔

  2. CLJ says:

    given your kind’s sensitivity to criticism, you don’t seem to take venting and probing in the comments section as a personal affront. that’s quite an accomplishment!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Venting is fuel. I have no issue with people asking questions so long as they are in the correct arena.

      1. CLJ says:

        fair enough. I sense a cloud of suspicion over my head, so will clarify that difficult family dynamics is what brought me here. your writings have helped me shape responses to behaviours that have long been perplexing. I’ve connected some dots on my own, but would’ve never been able to see the whole picture without your help. like many of your followers, I’m grateful for the knowledge you freely share and enjoy the entertaining style in which it is delivered.

      2. Bmw says:

        I’d like you to describe the sensation that comes over you when you pull one over on a nice person. Is it like a drug addict getting a hit? Does it make you feel like life is a game of chess and you won the victory? Are people inert to you or are they alive and do you get enjoyment out of squeezing the life out of possibly the only person in your life who ever meant you no harm? Are you the cat in a human game of cat and mouse? What makes you tick?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hello BMW, if you read What Goes On Below that will give you more of an idea.

  3. An Empath says:

    HG, how can we differentiate between a narcissist and a sociopath? Both are very similar disorders.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello, see the article Narcissist or Sociopath.

  4. Stephanie Farlow says:

    I am just wondering now that it has been established that he is a mid to upper range somatic and comorbid with cerebral traits and I have told himbwhat he is recently. I am slightly concerned that because I have 2 young children….that he could expose some things of a certain nature I would like to keep hidden.
    I do have things that would not bode well for him if I would bring them to light as well.
    He does appear to be fearless in ways but I also have an adult son that is a powerful person and a force to be reckoned with if anyone tried to hurt me. He is well aware of this fact. I suspect that when he tried to isolate me from everyone and everything he never once tried to do that with my older boy. He recognizes power when he sees it for certain.
    Still I am concerned. His last response to my exposing all of the ugly details of what he is without emotion was short and made zero sense. Like he didn’t know how to respond. Odd indeed

  5. Victoria says:

    Hi H.G.
    If a mid-range Narc. is told that now I know who and what he is he will withdraw and leave because he is a coward and does not the mental capacity of the Greater? Also, now that he has been found out, why would he hoover or make any contact?
    By the way, I have now read 15 books and starting my 16th.
    Thanks again,

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you for reading the books, you are nearing the halfway point!

      He will reject what you say about him as he has no insight.

  6. sarabella says:

    He ends it with a threat.

  7. G says:

    In the end, we know who you are, we know you are weak and we expect nothing from you. You cannot change who you are . I am sorry, you will never experience love… You will never be healthy because you are very good being narcissist … You were ” made” for that, You are a slave to your own idea about yourself.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Except you expect far more than nothing from us, hence why you keep clinging on. I appreciate your sentiments about love but it is not an emotion that concerns me.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Love is not an emotion that concerns you. You spent a large part of your younger adulthood pursuing it though. You even married someone because their fuel was “different” and at the time you said you thought it may well have the longevity to last. Has it been your awareness through therapy in realizing that you can never love? So never seek it now?
        Love is still what creates the influx of what you say you need for sustenance – fuel. Without us feeling love or fighting for the return of that love, you would have no fuel lines.
        What about feeling safety? Truly feeling protected by someone? You craved that as a child, never got it and had to bury that need and create it for yourself. But I still think you seek that feeling with your targets to see if it can exist for you.
        In this light to me, love does have to be somewhat of a concern and also safety.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I am my safety now.

      2. G says:

        But you know you are weak,right? and coward? I wish I could give you some love and then you would feel better.. My heart breaks when your face get red and hot because you know people are making fun of you. So fragile…So vulnerable… If I ignore you, I will kill you..simple like that..

    2. Moi says:

      Why are you arguing with someone that has no worth or the capability of achieving it. Don’t pity it and don’t get angry with it as its only an it.

  8. G says:

    You can only see and understand what affects you personally. Your revenge, your hate ,your fuel blahblahblah
    Normal people don’t care about you , they avoid your type. I am sure you are always together with losers. It makes you a loser too.
    But , if you stop lying and manipulating people you will gain some respect. Because only brave people know that is import to love and to respect.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Going to have to disappoint you G, no losers. Who is lying in a crumpled heap crying? Who is fuming about being backdoored on a deal? Who is riding into the sunset without looking back?

      1. G says:

        The only thing I know is that people respect me and people don’t respect you. I am brave you are a coward. And you know that… And you cannot change who you are… People talk in you back that you are weird …People can notice you are normal. People make fun of you and you don’t see that because you are too naive, you think they are listening to your bullshit. They think you talk a lot.. They try to avoid you..
        shame?Anxiety? depression? This is what you feel…

        I like your texts btw…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You don’t know me at all.

          1. G says:

            Ow..ow..ow.. Of course I know you! You are the HG Tudor and you are very evil and very smart.And your victims are very very very sad…And I love you!

  9. G says:

    But, you cannot have control of a situation by being abusive. It won’t work in the long term. It is also not good for you. But you cannot understand it , because you are emotionally retarded and in the end we just feel very sorry for you. Because you are such a weak and fragile person,.
    And your lack of empathy makes you even naive 😉

    1. HG Tudor says:

      And your empathy makes you both naive and vulnerable. Every situation is one which is controlled. My lack of empathy does not make me naive. I am many things but naive is not one of them precisely because having no empathy has enabled me to be in and succeed in certain situations where you would have lost, suffered, been crushed.

      1. Stephanie Farlow says:


      2. G says:

        You think like that because you are just a “soldier”, people can use empathy to manipulate too. Narc. they are all the same. Once you know one, you know all of them. You think we are connected to you but maybe you are connected to us more than we are connected to you. You are naive when you think you are the only one manipulating, you can also be manipulated.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Naive is not a word that is ever applied to me. It would be naive of you to do so.

      3. Moi says:

        Whatever emotional rationalization you need to use in order to maintain that fragile ego lol. When one utilizes narcissism it is an emotional response which skews thinking and does not allow the brain to utilize a balanced level of intelligence as cognitive dissonance is the only option to maintain the delusion of being superior. The inability to utilize the anterior cingular cortex properly means one will never fully develop so will always remain stagnant, weak, and inferior albeit with the ability to maintain what appears to be success to certain individuals for a certain period of time and the ability to have a high IQ (granted anyone can be born with a high IQ so its hardly an accomplishment). It would be sad if greater narcissists were actually people, but since their not there is no reason to have any emotion about it at all aside from analyzing the dysfunction presented by it. Emotional thinking is never clear, but the greater narcissist does not recognize that narcissism is simply another form of emotion due to the brain damage incurred through such a limited thought process. The high latent inhibition brain consistently rationalizes, but has the capability through recognition and change to achieve true balanced intelligence whereas the high latent inhibition brain of the greater narcissist is stymied by the inability to change or develop thus remaining inferior throughout the creatures “life”. A mid range has the greatest ability to develop so in truth of the types the mid range would be superior though most all people are superior to any narcissist due to the ability to develop full intelligence which includes emotional intelligence. Only 98% of the population is estimated to have high latent inhibition though so those with low latent inhibition and a high IQ (as a low IQ combined with it leads to psychosis) recognize rationalization immediately albeit with the caveat of remembering most things which can put a strain on emotional intelligence. Thus every individual can only elevate themselves by recognizing the different variables which lead to their perception and confirmation bias while also being able to change it. It is fascinating though and a bit amusing.

      4. Moi says:

        *They’re not their

  10. Maria says:

    I’ ve already done it.
    He knows that i am a fearless honest beast.

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