Hounded By Love

HOUNDED BY LOVE

One of my ex girlfriends, Kate, was a big animal lover. She was always sponsoring some rare monkey in Africa or baking cakes to raise funds to save the gay whale or such like. People often remarked how fortunate I was to have someone so caring. I would tell them if she spent less time playing Dr Doolittle then maybe I would not have to sleep in the spare room so often to remind her of who she should be focused on. I remember this used to get me some puzzled looks and for an instant I could not understand why but then I worked out they thought I was being mean so I used to tell them the bed was always full of her dogs so there was no room for me. They would smile and nod. Too easy. You see, people will, most of the time, take the path of least resistance and this means that they will accept most explanations so long as there is some degree of plausibility about them. People need to find a reason and especially those of an empathic nature have to do so. Provide a reason to explain something away and people accept it. This is one of the main reasons why we are able to do as we do, because people either accept the explanations that we give for what is otherwise aberrant behaviour or they find a reason or explanation themselves (either blaming some third party event or influence or blaming themselves) rather than seeing the behaviour for what it is. I do not write this from a position of blaming people for thinking and behaving that way, it is understandable. They do not know what they are dealing with, they do not realise the person they are engaging with is a narcissist and they, as truth seekers, need to find a reason to explain the behaviour. They need to know and this invariably causes them to fall for what we tell them or what they tell themselves.

Anyway, she got involved in volunteering at an animal shelter which did not impress me and to add insult to injury she expected me to walk and feed her dog whilst she was out being St Francis of Assissi. I kid you not. So on the two evenings when she was helping out I would invite her sister Amanda over. She would feed the dog and I would pretend I had taken it for a walk. (So long as I let it out in the garden and did its business (which I would fling over into next door – I guess that’s why we have new neighbours) Kate thought the hound had been walked. Thus I was able to lure in Amanda. She was low hanging fruit. Ignored by her boyfriend it only took a couple of weeks of texts and declarations of compatibility and I was bedding her each time she came round. Kate would come home and spend most of her time petting her dog but I had someone else to distract me so I let that flagrant failure to give me attention slide a little. Not totally as I still used it to remind her of how neglectful she was of me. I did notice though that she was spending more time and more money on the hound and was obviously doing it to provoke me. Her sister Amanda then started to change. She was initially great fun, vibrant, passionate and interesting but then she got whiny and needy and had the audacity to start criticise my girlfriend Kate. That was not on. She would still call round twice a week, even when I stopped inviting her and I had grown tired of bedding her. I had decided that Kate was the better choice of the two and wanted to focus my attentions on her but she doted on that wretched dog.

Demonstrating the decisive decision making that is my hallmark I took prompt action. On an evening when Amanda had called over I agreed to sleep with her. Before doing so I let pooch out into the garden and opened the gate. I went through the motions with Amanda and then had just returned downstairs when Kate returned. A few moments passed and then she began to call for the dog and with increasing urgency. The hound had gone. I blamed Amanda. Cue sibling fall out. The upshot of it was Kate never spoke to her sister again. Amanda never called round and pestered me and the dog was gone.

Two birds and all that.

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162 thoughts on “Hounded By Love”

  1. I have never been on psychopath Free. I read the book almost 2 years ago but it did not answer my questions like HG’s books and his articles have. I only responded to ED because he was doubting H.G.’s article and trying to minimize what he does for us empaths.

    1. I did not do such thing. His work here is extremely important here for empaths, and I have a lot of respect for him.
      I do not try to attack him, I guess I did a little go too far in truth seeking, it was completely in ecessary, I just couldn’t help myself.
      As a super empath which I consider myself to be, we tend to get on a war path in defense of truth.
      If you really think about it though, would it be such a big deal if HG admitted the story was a bit of a fabrication and make this a lesson in narcsissst seeking of fuel as my first comment pointed to?
      I do not believe anyone would be surprised or shocked if it were true.

      1. E.D
        Would it be such a big deal?
        It might be a bigger deal than you think to most. These are people who have found, or are in the process of learning that their life (or at the very least their relationship) has been comprised of mostly lies. An illusion, a fantasy. They have come here to find their experiences validated through the articles and interaction with HG and the other blog participants. If it were found that the stories were fabricated it could shatter the belief that there is truth in anything or anyone , and in any hope they had for healing. That would be even more cruel than what they have experienced personally, as it would have been utterly unnecessary. Lets hope that the telling of unnecessary lies is not true of anyone participating here.

      2. ED,
        Did you come to this site for help, looking for something to try to figure out if you were the one who was rotting away inside, trying to make sense of a crazy relationship? Or for some other sadistic reason? We don’t need it. After sitting through and listening to all the lies we have been told, oddly enough, there is respite here because of the truth, even when it’s ugly. Because then we can see how ugly that person we loved was. Don’t you get it. Stop being so disrespectful. Get your own blog. How would you like it if someone accused you of a lie when you were telling the truth?? Be humane!

      3. ED

        You have a funny out look as to what respect is.

        Then again you really don’t see your truth either so I am not surprised

  2. Emotion Detective
    Why are you making this attacks??
    It doesn’t t make any sense.
    People who come here are full grown adults and they choose to believe.
    Even novels can teach something.
    We do not need a detective- daddy.
    Why are you so anxious about???

  3. Emotion detective, I cannot say, whether HGs story is true, because I was not there. But I know that my personal devil let die an animal, because it gave him no fuel anymore. It was ill. There was no fuel, so the animal was uninteresting. He let it die. And I was there too late. I could not understand it and refused to believe that behaviour at first. But I saw it with my own eyes. He almost let die a friend without caring for him. He was of no use for him anymore, so he was uninteresting. And he smeared that old friend to keep his facade. HG is the same kind of person, therefore I believe he would behave in the same or in a similar way (more or less). Therefore I think all of his bad and evil stories are true. He is proud of his “strength.”

  4. for everyone distraught at this story, I’m quite sure none of it happened..
    HG simply wants to gain fuel over neglected animal, add all in the family stuff, and a potent mixture ready as illustrated in the above comments.. tsk

      1. ED,
        If you doubt the content of this blog and it’s author, why do you bother? H.G. must get huge amounts of fuel from just the course of his day-he provides this blog to enlighten the victims who want to get educated/free of their narcs. but also the knowledge needed to prevent from ever being ensnared by another. I am truly grateful for all the information H.G. provides! Thanks H.G.!

      2. And why you do you make a humongous straw men out of my statements Victoria?
        I am nowhere far from the content of this blog, which includes narcissist lies, fabrications, machinations, etc. I think I’m within topic actually.

      3. Ohh.. Victoria, I’m thinking that you might be the Victoria, moderator of Psychopath Free forum, which makes HG Tudor its administrator..
        Peace out.. 😉

      4. Wrong in respect of me ED, they will be stripping you of that badge if you are not careful or putting you back in uniform! I am nothing to do with PF as I plough my own furrow. I cannot speak for Victoria.

      5. Evidence doesn’t have to be physical evidence, the only one I have access to is logical evidence. For that I don’t have to be anywhere to make the assertions that I did, they stem directly from logical evidence.
        It doesn’t really matter whether you are an elite, partially somatic part cerebral, we are within the cerebral realm here and this is all that matters here. It doesn’t matter how far in value my comments here are to you, I’m still making them.
        No physical crime has taken place, so we can only discuss logical evidence to bring the matter to the truth, which is important to an empath. So Ive made the assertion and I’m sticking to it.

      6. Counsel : “So ED, reminding you that you under oath (or affirmation) please tell the court what you saw with regard to the incident involving the hound.”
        ED : “I did not see anything.”
        Counsel : “Oh, you did not see anything. Please explain why that is the case.”
        Ed : “I was not there.”
        Counsel : “No further questions my lord.”

      7. Wrong again. I was there. You were not. Shagging two sisters is child play. I would put you into court again but apparently you have been discredited so your barrister has decided against calling you as a witness! Still I acknowledge you can take defeat in a light-hearted manner, more than I would ever do, I hate losing so I make sure I do not.

      8. of course, it’s just you and I know I won..
        Peace ( it’s the reason why you don’t reveal your face, otherwise you would like Sam Vaknin, isn’t)

      9. Except you didn’t since you made an assertion based on not being there which therefore holds no credibility at all. Indeed your hypothesis (since you cannot rely on the facts) has also been rejected by others also.

        I do not reveal my identity for reasons repeatedly explained.

        You keep telling yourself you won though. Speaks volumes about who you really are.

      10. Oh please. Anyone who thinks two sisters is a wild and unlikely scenario is extremely sheltered. Its a good thing the Mother didnt pop by.

      11. You have cause a ruckus HG.
        Serioisly a normal man can do the same thing if the opportunity presented its self and he chose to go with the flow. All it shows is he holds some traits.
        Thanks NA the idea of two sisters was ok then you had to throw the mother into the mix. That is such a dysfunctional family dynamics. Brings Jerry Springer to mind. And no I only watch him for about 2 minutes and realize it was an awful show.

      12. Twilight/Dawn
        Dont blame me for your imagination, I just said pop by….
        But seriously-I worked with a girl who took extra time at lunch to go bang her husband and his brother. More shit happens out in this world than people care to know. But now ya do lol.

      13. No I have walked in on more things that I just go well alrighty now I need therapy and you need a bath in holy water and I hope that cleans that sin right off.

      14. And by the way I had read pop up
        Thanks my imagination is now officially in a sin zone I think I shall go listen to Hush

      15. Good evening Twilight and NA,
        My eyes are now open to all the crazy stuff out there. I wasn’t surprised at all about the two sisters and didn’t even blink when the you added the mom comment. Lol
        My situation was dumb enough.
        I lived under under a rock up until theee years ago.

      16. Good Evening Snow White

        How are you doing? How is your daughter?
        One of the reason why I adore HG so much is he is bringing this out into the light.

      17. Hello Twilight,
        I am doing ok and my daughter is doing better. Thank you.
        I was reading yours and Loves’ comments on meditation and yoga. I think the meditation would benefit my daughter right now. I do enjoy yoga myself and I think that kind of stretching and body, mind, and soul would help when she is given the green light.
        HG really is doing something great here. I learn so much and I can walk through my days with the awareness of the evil that is out there. Even though some days I’m triggered. I feel like it’s a whole new world that I was hidden from.
        I hope I can spread the awareness like he does. I just told the therapist that she could right down advocacy and speaking as one of my goals.
        How are you doing? How long have you been meditating?

        HG, I know you go to the gym but have you found any physical activity to be therapeutic to you? Running, yoga, weights?

      18. Hi HG! How are you?
        Is writing the best activity that the doctors have recommended for you?
        Are you “relaexed” when you are writing at your desk and listening to your music?
        Would you call that or this blog a “relief” or “escape” for you?

        I have thrown myself into the gym all month and it has been a distraction for me and it has given me physical and mental strength. It also provides some relaxation for me at the same time.
        I had just wondered if there was any type of exercise that the doctors suggested or if they have ever had you participate in meditation or breathing exercises.

        I thought about you everyday even though I wasn’t commenting. 😊

      19. Hello SW,

        I am excellent well, thank you for your kind enquiry and I hope you are also. Good work on attending the gym, have you been able to appreciate “those gains”?!

        The doctors initially discussed exercise with me, but realised that since I do so anyway it is not going to have any impact. Through discussion, they did indeed feel that writing about all of this would be helpful for me and also a way of providing an ‘overspill’ if you will for my racing mind. Am I relaxed? I would not say that, but I do feel less tempestuous.

        I felt you thinking about me, naturally, long may it continue.

      20. Thank you HG!!!
        I owe all my “gains” to you.
        I now have muscles, am mentally stronger, and I always have you to turn to and ask questions,
        I am happy to report that just yesterday I witnessed something in the locker room that a year ago would have put me in a full blown panic attack but this time it did not. It was definitely a breakthrough for me.

        I love hearing that this blog has affected you in a good way. I can feel through your interactions ans answers that it has done some good for you.

        Everyone needs an escape and I’m glad you continue to enjoy what you do here. Your work can bring out every single one of my emotions and that’s very therapeutic for me.

        I will always be thinking if you 😊

      21. Hi Snow White
        So glad to hear your daughter is doing better!!
        Speaking of Love, so glad you mention her, You reminded me I was thinking of writing about my abilities. I decided I would. Now to find the time to write them out.
        I have been very angry, something’s came out into the open I was very suspicious of, now I know the facts. I may not agree with what is done between adults but when you do what I have found out about to a child I walk a very thin line of getting myself into a lot of trouble.
        I have always mediated I just wasn’t aware that was what I was doing, I stopped for a while after the disengagement. It did me no good.
        Many days I wish I didn’t know what I do.
        Yet grateful I do now

      22. Hi Twilight!
        I did journal for a little bit but once I found this blog I stopped. I couldn’t keep up. Lol
        Thanks and I’m sorry that you have some unsettling and disturbing news.
        Anything that involves a child brings out a lot of emotions and I can’t imagine what goes through the mind of the person that could make them violate a child.
        Unimaginable!!!!
        I wish I could go back three years ago and not know what I know now about people and the world. I hate how I see everything.
        I hope you have found something that is bringing you some peace right now.
        Sending you hugs❤️🍎❤️

      23. Hi Snow White

        I still write in my journal, a creature of habit I am, It helps me still along with this blog and HG.
        Thank you things will work out, right now my concern is with the children affected. My anger has subsided after a discussion this evening with a person I have come to trust. They have a unique way of pulling from me, I just wonder if they know…..
        Your right thou I have often wonder what goes through the mind of a person. Maybe it’s best we don’t know, ignorance is bliss at times.
        I know you do, yet you know now and are becoming more powerful everyday that passes.
        You hold so much beauty within yourself Snow White, don’t ever forget that.
        Peace be with you!

      24. Hi Twilight!!!
        I am wishing you all the strength in the world to help you deal with whatever you are going through. The children are lucky to have you on their side.

        We are strong or we wouldn’t still be here.
        Hope there is some sunshine where you are and you are getting to enjoy it.
        I love feeling it on my skin.

        And I have to tell you that I have been sore everyday from my workouts and all the articles on recovery recommend tart cherry juice. Lol…. I think of you every time and have started to look for it but haven’t found it yet.
        Hope you have a peaceful night.

      25. Snow White
        Tart cherry juice can be found here at a health food strore or in the international food aisle in the Polish section at the supermarket. Is there a Whole Foods where you are? Also good is to soak in epsom salts you can get at the drug store and put in a little essential oil for aroma therapy.
        Epsom salts not to be confused with bath salts which is what you feel like youre on when youre dealing with a Narc.
        Had to bring that around to to avoid the thundering hand of God announcing this is not a food blog, followed by a stint on the naughty stool (which I dont mind as much as he thinks I do).

      26. NA
        How in the world would you know using bath salts is like being with a narc?

        I have actually witness an adult snort season salt for $50, when everything was said and done I asked him if it was worth it? He said no, I just walked out smh saying better ways of making $50 that is less painful 😖.

        Good advice thou.

        How’s things going up North?

      27. Twilight
        Because they are both mind altering lol. Seasoned salt is sooooo low rent. The North is thawing deliciously. I am out preparing all decking areas and furniture for the season today and looking forward to many days out there.

      28. NA
        No disagreement there with the salts, just not into that just the narcissist, that is enough mind altering I need. No drugs involved.

        That is awesome!

      29. NA,
        You crack me up!!!! Hope you have been off the naughty step. You might have to use your suggestions if you were there for too long. Not sure what position you had to hold. Lol

        I will check out that location and aisle.

      30. Hi Snow White
        Thank you 😊!

        I love the way the sun feels to.

        I hope your soreness passes quickly. I will say for me it feels much better then being sore from doing nothing.

        Are you sleeping better? It was great reading how far you have come in a year, soon it will be a distant memory, yet the lesson has made you stronger.

        It is sad thou to lose the innocence of somethings.

        Hope your weekend is amazing!

      31. Hi Twilight!
        Sorry for the delay.
        I’ve been reliving my high school years in NYC and at prom. Lol

        I do enjoy reading all the progress the readers have made here. Everyone has been a big help.
        I had my one year of NC in NYC and my therapist wanted me to celebrate by throwing coins in a fountain or letting a balloon go but it was crazy busy there.

        As I approached the bull and little girl statue on the streets of NY it was ironic to see my exes gym flag flying almost directly above. It brought a few tears but it made me realize I survived the most difficult year of my life.
        Hope your week is starting off great ❤️

      32. HI Snow White

        Don’t be sorry, I am happy to hear you were out having fun! NYC to me you are brave to go there, lol to crowded for me.
        Like you I enjoy reading how many have come here and found the answers they were searching for and are making their way out of the darkness.
        Yes you have survived and are much wiser and discerning. You are far stronger then you know, yet are discovering this. Something to be very proud of!
        Awareness is the key, sadly not many are aware. Lol I do see this changing, by HGs works and all of those that are spreading the word.
        I am glad seeing this flag didn’t cause a step back (even thou it would be very understandable), yet you recognized it acknowledged and then you let it go, your ballon so to say.
        Yes my week has started off great with plans on ending great! I actually can. It wait for the weekend, I haven’t taken a weekend off in awhile and spending it with family and friends, many plans in the works.
        Hope your week is great to and you have a fabulous Mother’s Day weekend!

      33. Hi Twilight!
        ENJOY your whole weekend off. You deserve it!
        Happy Mother’s Day to you too💐🌹

      34. Hi Snow White

        Many will live a life coloring neatly inside the lines but never learning anything about themselves. You experienced something you were not prepared for, and only you know what you learned about yourself, but that does not make it dumb.

      35. You are right NA!
        Thanks for pointing that out. I have learned more about myself on this blog in the past year than in the other 45 of them.
        I always love your input and appreciate your wit. Lol
        You never have to put LOL after your comments because I’m always cracking up at them or learning something. ❤️

      36. 😂 I am not home so everything is secure from any and all accidents.

      37. ED
        Your question re: “what the reason might be for not sleeping with women” makes no sense. In the story he slept with 2 sisters who are women. Think, now think harder and review the story. Who is not sleeping with women? Maybe you were sleepy.

      38. E.D
        Re: HG is gay

        OMG has anyone informed him?!
        I missed this information. Can you point me to the appropriate thread or post please?
        That makes him awesome for taking two for the team lol.

      39. HG
        Your sexual preferences (or anyone elses for that matter), are of no importance to me but thank you for addressing this baseless assumption. I had suspected you might know best.

      40. ED
        What would cause you to out and out call HG gay?
        I seriously doubt he is gay.

      41. I can’t believe he released the comment..
        I was just responding to his alter mask NarcAngel who dug up an old thread just today on Monday morning when I have so much to do.
        First of all, it’s not uncommon that a narcissist is gay, there is a strong connection, according to my research.
        Many of them are bi, and able to switch between sexual identities just like they switch between which mask to wear.

        And then there is the recording by HG titled The Lesser..

      42. Why not, I am not gay, some of our kind are, some are not, some are bi. I did it to evidence I have no concern other than to demonstrate inaccuracy on your part and your poorly concealed attempts to try and draw a reaction.

      43. evidence: quote Tudor from The Lesser Narcissist
        “When it comes to matters between the sheets although Lee believes himself to be the champion of sexual technique (he has certainly had plenty of partners as he regularly likes to boast about them to me) he could be rutting a slab of steak for all the variance and finesse he deploys. He wasn’t always like that. He did make an effort during our golden period, but that is long gone. Now he just wants to exert his dominance over me and be made to feel powerful so you will have to excuse me as I make the relevant noises, say the stock phrases and pull my porn faces. That will please Lee the Lesser and provide him with a final burst of delicious positive fuel before he slumps besides me and falls into an undisturbed sleep. He always sleeps well does Lee. His lesser function means that there is not a lot racing around in his mind as slumber approaches. So, there’s a glimpse of how a – I’d better whisper this so he doesn’t hear – Lesser Narcissist is. Now, turn around please, you shouldn’t be watching what comes next.”

      44. ED
        Why do you keep making false accusations?
        NA is not HG
        Yes many can be gay, bi and whatever they desire, yet you stated HG is gay with out any proof.

      45. HG,
        You said below “although those who have consulted with me will bear testament to other elements which confirm the interest in the somatic.”
        So in a private consult what are the other elements that confirm the interest in the somatic? Do I get to actually see you?

      46. Waaaaahhhh. 😭 You are just like my Dad! His favorite words, No and So Be It! No wonder I have this oedipal thing going on with you. When he would say Yes though…oh so wonderful. I was his favorite. How could I not be?

      47. Yep, don’t I know it. Miss that voice. It has served me well many a time….Hush anyone??? Haha…some hash and some hush…good idea, don’t thank me. H and H and HG.

    1. ED

      Why would he say it if he did not experience this? His fuel is so minimum through this blog.
      I would venture to say he gets more fuel from his followers when they engage privately through consults. Imagine hearing this live and you gasp. He would be smiling on the other end of the cyber connection. I have worked with radio for marketing and I understand this concept.
      I believe the story as the narc that had me for a moment told me a similar story but blamed his ex-wife but I know it was him who let the dog out that was killed because of this.

      I guess it is all fuel in the end.

      1. Because I know how HG thinks, and what type of a narcissist he is.
        Do not believe for a second that he is completely honest here either. He will and he does employ same tactics here as in real life.
        I do not believe this space he created is of tertiary importance to him, and we are tertiary fuel to him. He is very proud of this blog and his work on this subject, as he should be.
        He is a cerebral narcissist foremost. That means intellectual exchanges are his playground, and this blog and all the connected social media are of major importance to him. I will venture as much as to say that this might be even his primary source of fuel.
        There are other clues throughout what he’s written that point to this not being true, but it’s not something to reveal here. You do your own work.

        It may have happened but it’s unlikely.

        And, HG.. I have yet to hear of any detective being at the scene of crime as it happened.

      2. You are correct that I am proud of this blog and my work but it is not the mainstay of my fuel provision. I gain far more fuel from my interactions in my private life. You are tertiary sources because you are remote strangers (see the Fuel Index in the book Fuel). You know a lot of how I think because of what I write about but you do not know everything. I do not employ the same tactics here as I do in my private life because
        a. The fuel provision does not merit it; and
        b. The application of the five rules
        I am not a cerebral narcissist foremost. I am an elite which is a hybrid of somatic and cerebral. Naturally I cannot exhibit pictures of videos here because of the need to protect my identity although those who have consulted with me will bear testament to other elements which confirm the interest in the somatic. This medium is always going to demonstrate my cerebral side owing to it being the written word.
        This is not my primary source of fuel and thinking as such exhibits a misunderstanding of the Fuel Index.
        Your repeated assertion is incorrect because I was there and you were not.
        Yes and that is why the detective has to go and find the evidence because he was not there. I have the evidence as I was there. You were not.

      3. Well, you seem to have a firm grip of what is reality to not only yourself but HG as well. Hmm this very interesting.

  5. Ah! The “spare room”. Didn’t realize that was a common thing. And the bolthole. Crikey!

  6. HG BEcause when YOU adopt an abused animal and give him all thr protection and love that you have, he will love you back and trust you back completely. He would give his life for you. Adopting and loving and rescuing an abused animal is about one of the most rewarding experiences in life. Not only being a parent is a fullfilling and rewarding as it can get. There are also other things and reacuing animals from death and abuse is one of them 😃😃😍😍💞💞.
    I hope Matilda doesnt mind that I answered…,
    Else she can tell me off to Mrs Trumchbull 😳😳😳

    1. Of course, I don’t mind, the more points of view the better! :-D… and I fully agree with you.

  7. So I think HG just gave us (well I can only speak for myself) a major hint on how to spot Narcs through the statement below:

    “I remember this used to get me some puzzled looks and for an instant I could not understand why but then I worked out they thought I was being mean so I used to tell them the bed was always full of her dogs so there was no room for me. They would smile and nod. Too easy.”

    He did not know his behavior was odd until he got puzzled looks, those puzzled reactions caused him to mask the nature of his actions.

    When engaging with someone new, I think it’s a good tool to keep stoic faces and minimal / indifferent reactions to odd mentions of behaviors so that a Narc won’t think to mask the behavior… our lack of reaction strips them of being able to read us, allowing us to see them for who they really are and see the red flags quicker.

  8. Did you have pets as a child, HG?

    Have you ever considered volunteering at an animal shelter or fostering a stray? Perhaps that’s the route for you to reconnect to your humanity. Some prisons, for example, have programmes involving the care for animals. It changes even the most hardened criminals for the better.

    1. Hi Matilda, no I didn’t have any pets.

      My brother and sister did. I wasn’t interested.

      I have not considered the suggestions you make, I have no interest in animals.

      1. That’s a pity, HG. Abused animals could teach you a lot about trusting and loving again despite one’s past.

        But I appreciate that you, at least, do not hurt animals. Because that would be unforgivable.

      2. Matilda, might you explain why an abused animal could teach me about trusting and loving again compared to interaction with a human?

      3. I have read about Equine Therapy with both juvenile delinquents and also criminals in a daily work setting with the horses. The studies come back that horses have a calming affect which result over time for the human gaining increased patience, understanding and the ability to bond with something they are taking care of.
        Horses are majestic creatures and earn their respect. For many of the criminals it is the first time they experience something truly dependent on them for their care and it has a positive affect helping to rehabilitate them.

      4. My daughter took riding lessons for 4 years. Sometimes her instructor would let me ride with her. They’re powerful and they each have their own unique personality, like a dog or cat. I do think horses can appeal to some who may not be big “animal” people in general.

      5. Exactly! A noble horse can make you feel regal! You should explore that!

      6. I also took riding lessons for many years and my horse was called Carnival. As the owner of the academy was a Belge lady she got threatened by rebels and had to go back to Europe and sold the horses. It broke my heart when i said good bye to Carnaval. I still remember her white with grayish spots and so sweet and docile.
        Last July I was riding horse through the rain forest and was fun. In my country its very fun because you can ride in the jungle , up to high volcanoes etc 😃😃😃

      7. Hello Nikita! That sounds like a beautiful setting to ride horses. They do provide complete escapism from real life.
        Nice to hear from you back on!!

      8. Here there was a case of a guy I dont remember for what he had been condemned.. maybe rape but i think not murder who had been two years in this treatment and one day he profited that his therapist turned her back and he took the knife for cleaning the horses shoes and slit her throat and ran away…. she had just given birth..
        I dont think this therapy works for criminals because there is no love bonding of any kind and taking care of the horse is not enough that they find peace. Because of this event, horse therapy with criminals was abolished in this country.

      9. That’s very sad. They still exist here. Not many of course. Lots of Equine therapy for kids with autism and special needs too.

      10. HG, I find it interesting though that your mother let your siblings have animals. Mine didn’t.

      11. MLA Equine therapy has work with many I have been involved with, when I was younger. My mentor used horses to bring me back to life as I have put it. I was very young when I was abused then abandoned, I spent many hours with him, horses and others with rough backgrounds he was working with.
        He is one of the few people I miss, he was amazing with people and animals.
        sorry you brought many memories for me today, thank you.

      12. That’s awesome and great to hear a personal story it was successful for. I appreciate you sharing that!

      13. “Matilda, might you explain why an abused animal could teach me about trusting and loving again compared to interaction with a human?”

        Because animals do not judge, HG, and they love you unconditionally. Sure, you provide food and shelter but that’s not why they love you. They care about you beyond that. They feel your sorrow, they can sense it, and many will come to soothe your pain. I am thinking about dogs here.

        The interaction would calm you, you would not have to plot your next move as you would do with a human! You’d just be there, in the moment, without ulterior motives.

        And if you had a stray by your side, you would see that you can recover from abuse just like this dog does. One that sat shivering and covered in bruises in the corner of his kennel not long ago, is now wagging his tail wanting to play with you. One that flinched at every touch, is now presenting his stomach to you begging to be petted. It’s a sign that he trusts you and a privilege to be asked, HG! 🙂

        Animals touch something in us most humans can’t even come near, that’s why they are effective in therapy. The interaction might unlock *lost feelings* in you… that would be a good start 🙂

      14. Bucephalus, the horse of Alexander the Great. No wonder you approved of it! And did you feel like Alexander the Great? 😀 …. I like the sight of men on horses, especially policemen on horses… always makes me smile… 🙂 🙂

      15. HG, I know you believe that fuel only comes from humans, but many of the narcissists I know sure do seem to draw fuel from dogs. Perhaps they are just getting therapeutic benefits like described by other commenters, but there is no denying that they are getting something that they highly value. They don’t clean up after them or take much care of them (what minions are for), but they do definitely draw energy and some type of power from the single-minded devotion, obedience and love their dogs give them.

      16. for narcs, having a dog and or a child, is means of drawing in prospective fuel sources, and also used for triangulation purposes. I also understand that sociopaths usually abuse animals, starting at a very young age (animals are helpless) making the abuser feel “powerful” and “in control”.

      17. No, I did not know, HG. But I googled it! 😀 😀

        The Duke of Wellington’s war horse, which he rode in the Battle of Waterloo. Amazing!

        Now, who would you rather be: Alex the Great, or The Duke? 😀

    2. My exnarc told me that his grandfather had had animals and showed him how to care for them, like even goats ….nope, he just doesn’t care about them, he said they were inferior.

  9. The poop tossing was funny but typical. I have my dogs sleep in the crates. I like it much better. I do let my little 11 lb pugs sleep with me but she will also sleep in the crate if need be. I do not like to engage physically if they are in the room. Thus I have two sets of crates. In my room and downstairs.

    But you are not nice to let the dog out. You could have just taken it to the shelter and claimed it was let out by the sister. She was a little cunt fucking with her sister’s BF. Not a very nice person in the least.

    I would never let something like this happen.

  10. I really do love all the personal stories about the exes. They are hard to imagine and to forget.
    Who was the one that you hurt on the track on purpose?

  11. Okay, HG, you brought up animals—do narcs have the capability to like animals? It sounds like you see them as a nuisance??

  12. Wow! This goes back in the vault from when you were still Malignant Narcissist. I agree with the other readers that it is written very humorously. It sugar coats the misogyny of you playing puppet master to the women you basically view as trash once they’ve served their purpose. Bad HG!
    Somehow it’s hard to feel bad for the sisters not speaking to one another when one was cheating with her sister’s boyfriend. At least we can hope the dog made it to a No-kill Shelter and found a happy home away from this kluster of dysfunction.

    1. Ignorant that you think the sisters deserved this treatment because they were both targeted and mirrored by a narcissist. Nobody deserves abuse – especially those who are already vulnerable from their familial dysfunction they were born into.

      Why don’t you put your nose up HG’s as far as it can go? HG is the most dysfunctional but you applaud him and take the piss while putting down his victims.

      And he’s still a malignant narcissist.

      1. I’m sorry if the remark came across insensitive. It is appalling that Kate lost a boyfriend she loved and trusted, betrayed by her sister, and on top of it her cherished dog she came home to each night. That is all major trauma!!
        I’m aware HG used his master charm to seduce Sis, but sorry not sorry for thinking one never crosses that boundary with their sibling’s significant other. As my therapist told me, it takes just one hasty, impulsive decision for instant gratification that can change your future forever, and not for the better. Think before you do.
        Apparently you missed my comments to HG on the topic when it was exposed a former IP had committed suicide. I don’t go easy on him. Anyone who’s followed my comments over the long haul, knows that. But I’ve also established a rapport with him in our communication and the help he’s given over a period of time, which has been a real game changer for me.
        I can emphatically say, having been married and taken vows, I would not cheat. Can you be tempted? Hell yes. We’re all human. But take that step, NO. How do I know? Because I had the chance and I removed the temptation.
        So like I said, HG did a horrible thing, but Sis here in this particular situation does not get as much of my empathy as Kate, the dog, and other victims of his. My choice on that and I don’t need your approval rating on that.

  13. Wow, usually I would never say this but that is so fkd up. I admit I am jealous over the fact you have no remorse. I sometimes hate the fact that my guilt is over powering at times. I cant even date someone that was once friends with an ex. That though is so harsh. I love your post though and I appreciate them. I now can see behind every move my ex narc throws at me. I can happily say my life is so much more peaceful since I have found you. Thank you

  14. H.G.,
    I must say this article had me laughing. Somehow the way you wrote it was funny to me and I could not stop laughing at your sense of humor.
    Thanks for that!

  15. Tudor you are hilarious. From gay whale (poor thing trolling the ocean in search of seamen wha wha…..) right through to ending with two birds. Now remind me, what did you do wrong? Oh wait! Leaving the gate open was very bad.

    Stretch Narc (6 ft 5) told me he left the door open once and her dog got out and was killed in the street. He said ” geez I felt so bad but I went and got her another one”. Dont even know if it was true or so he could judge my reaction (which was zero), but I made him beg to be corrected then made his balls pay for it anyway.

  16. Very clever..so how long did you continue your affair with Amanda? What really made you sleep with your girlfriend’s sister?

  17. HG I’ve noticed that posters really let you have it on your Facebook page. They get super pissed. Posters seem kinder and more appreciative here. Just an observation.

    1. Hello CL, yes there are a number who do tend to be more abrasive there than here, I have noticed that on and off for some time. It is all fuel. I know people are hurt etc but it is interesting that they are more abrasive there. People are more respectful and constructive here.

      1. I am intrigued that there would be a difference in response here and on Facebook. I have noticed over time that people here comment about not being on FB. I wonder if the difference in choice of medium demonstrates a difference in personalities or perhaps is more generational? I know in my case I find FB posts/comments in general too painful, embarrassing and prejudiced. I’ll have to check yours out to compare to this site, HG. Sounds like an interesting study. 😊

      2. It does and also bear in mind that unless it is a fake profile, FB is not anonymous whereas here is, which is also an unusual element.

      3. I wonder if the fact the anonymous factor here people can be comfortable in speaking with out the fear of anyone coming at them for feeling anything but anger towards your kind, the flip side many don’t have to worry about theirs lurking in the shadows cause they are not out in the open and can be open and express there thoughts freely.
        Or lastly and this is where I think a lot of it is You control the setting to a degree, if things get out of hand you stop it, not because you care but it will disrupt what you have created. Many have come to trust you and in this can find a sense of security in knowing they can get answers (you), support and understanding (others).
        FB can not always provide this sense of security.
        Just my opinion

      4. I do dislike my autocorrect it has been against me all day.
        Yes that is what I meant 😑

      5. His war horse was thoroughbred /Arabian to which is the only reason it ever caught my attention.

      6. One thing I am still having a time wrapping my mind around is why empaths will turn on our own kind, I believe it is the selfish trait we all have, if it isn’t actually affecting us it doesn’t take a priority. Or goes with what society says is how things are to be, and god forbid if you stand out against this facade.

      7. Oooh! Thanks for pointing that out HG! I don’t have a FB account and was going to do my research using a relatives account. I suppose I should open a fake one instead. Being a naive truth-teller, I’d have never thought of that. Perhaps the lack of anonymity fuels the ugliness if they want people to see their virulence. That would be true where I live. People like others to see how righteous they are. Interesting to see which areas the ugliest comments are from… But that then makes me question their intelligence. Why would someone deliberately insult and try to antagonize a malignant narcissist who knows who they are and could track them down if he was so inclined? Maybe that’s one reason we tend to be more respectful and constructive here – we’re more intelligent! 😄

      1. I’ve closed my FB acct but told one of my friends about HG and she follows him there. We were discussing how different the viewership can be. It’s interesting. I guess everybody misplaces their pain and blame in some way.

  18. I was going to say unbelievable but it’s not. It’s believable. My ex did this with his wife and her brother. Different moving parts but the same outcome. This may be uncouth but on some level I’m glad I was the dirty little secret. He didn’t associate with my dirty family in any way so there was no triangulation with them. I was definitely not up to par with his elite status in our little southern incestuous town. Gee, a little silver lining.

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