The Narcissistic Truths – No 229

JUST WHENYOU THOUGHTALL WAS WELLWE TURNEDITUPSIDE DOWN

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85 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No 229”

  1. Ahoh
    I can only imagine that its harder for you to be dealing with this issue as a Mother than if you were dealing with yourself. Im glad you consulted with HG. I hear the Tudinator really knows his stuff and who better to get it from than the horses er……. mouth. I too have ” hooked” people up with the website. I feel like his Pimp lol. Make sure to check in often to catch up. Now, speaking of boxes, Ive been sitting on mine a while and it needs some air………

  2. Oh. Almost forgot. I was always amused by the thought that they thought I was one, until they found out I was not.

  3. Flickatina
    Plus I get a bit tired of the self-absorbed, pseudo-intellectualistic, god-bothering, self-righteousness that can go on here.

    Well it IS Tudors blog lol.

      1. HG
        It was just a joke. I was not aware it was Fragile Friday. My bad.

    1. NA Why are you tossing salt at me? Just playing with you. I know for a fact if it was me you are referring to you would address me directly. We are tight like that.
      So tell me about your name NarcAngel?

      1. Ahoh
        Haha, no. I threw no salt and definately none at you. I was quoting (but didnt use quotation and should have) something from Flickatinas previous post. You are correct that I would address you directly. No one should ever be unclear where I am concerned. If they are they should clarify, if they dont and assume -thats on them as I am always willing to clear things up.
        Now the name. Funny you should mention. When I was lead to this blog (by entering into Google:I want to speak/talk with an actual Narcissist),I expected to find yet another sanitized and clinical site full of medical jargon. Not so. I was at full attention after reading the first couple of articles. Couldnt believe I had finally found someone who spoke to the subject so eloquently and yet with such clarity and allowing so much insight. I remember thinking: now this guy has “hooked” me (haha) where the others only thought they had. I was further fascinated by the commenters and their stories. Still, I not convinced that I would participate because my situation was so different than most I was reading. Yes, I had been a victim as a child of an extremely violent Narcissist, but I had since been involved with them in a sort of revenge game and actually wondered if I was now considered one (thus the search for information). I read and read and then all at once decided to join in a conversation. Of course I had to think of a name, and all in a whir flashed in my mind that I am part angel and (largely) part narc, along with the changing of the biblical Archangel. I wasnt really happy with it and right after thought of a better name for me but then people had already started with the abbreviation NA which saved many keystrokes so I stayed with it. Now theres 5 minutes of your life you cant get back. Arent you glad you asked?

      2. NA
        I can read fast so it was not 5 minutes. But none the less, I spent it with you, so to speak, and looking at it this way it wasn’t enough time.
        I look back at all my relationships (the ones I remember) and I see all the brokeness of people, including myself. I was only entangled with one diagnosed Narc. It did not last long but the effect on me sent me on a journey and here I am. As I said HG told me I am not Narc material. I am not empathetic enough and I am one to fight back instead of break down. ( When I first came on the scene and I was involved with Jonathan, HG help me through it and also gave me tips of how to get even. He knows more about me from then than I would like. Hence, the knowledge of not being good narc fuel.
        He knows everything I wanted to do to get even. He knows what is in my toolkit. I am useless to him. But on the other hand, it is a comfort to know that I can’t be a victim of a narc.
        I asked him what will I get out of staying on the blog and he said I would learn more of who I am and he is correct. As I said in an earlier blog, I did an hour consult with him on my sons gf. I do recommend the blog and consults to anyone who is entangled with someone who is in any way abusive. It seems that I write down Narcsite.com at least twice a month to people, maybe more.
        So here I am still in this cyber world, learning, confessing, fighting, making up, supporting, and at times pretending. I go through cycles where I am bored and I stay away for a couple of weeks and reappear. He is addicting at times. I picture him as the Penguin (Danny Devito) from Batman with a higher intelligence than most.
        (Don’t be mad HG for the penguin reference because I have to see you as this otherwise I will be addicted forever.)

        OK I need to get off the box and start my day.

        XX

      3. HG! Do you want me to stalk you? I did not think so. You are Penguin.

      4. You know I like that word. You know I like how it sounds.
        OK I won’t admit I think of you as Penguin. I will think of you as Batman.
        Are you happy now?

      5. Posting from my iPhone so it might be repeated.
        Ok how about satisfied? Can you be satisfied?

  4. HG, I am not sure about that. Take a look at the research about children soldier. You can change everyone into a killing machine, when you let him see violence and let him enjoy violence. That must happen at a early point of childhood. A scientist said that many of the children soldiers have no bad conscience about their killing (cruel killing) and they admitted that it made fun and that some of them miss it very much. All of them cannot have a personal disorder. They only think it is normal. It is what they have learnt. Are they all psychopath or narcissists now? That would be scaring.

  5. Yep… all the time
    i do too..
    HG you say that an emphat cannot be a Narcissist, but now you have found one: me.
    So you can imagine my constant conflict between the two traits..
    Insanely insane.

    1. An empath cannot be a narcissist. A narcissist has no empathy, an empath (as the name suggests) has. You have an empath who narcissistic traits and if the narcissistic traits are numerous and quite strong, that is the Super Empath.

      1. HG
        Unfortunatelly my narcissistic traits are strong.. and so are my emphatic ones.. i should know.. i have to live with them ..
        My narcissistic traits were more in a dormant state before getting involved with a Narcs..
        and my emphatic ones stronger…
        now is the other way around.
        Now they are back with a vengeance.
        It is not pleasant at all… i was joyful when i was living on emphatic strong feelings…

      2. Maria, the fact that you have empathic traits means you are not a narc. Narcs do not have empathic traits. They can just fake them.

      3. HG, I disagree….In the case of DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), one person could be both (NPD and Empath) where two or more distinct identities, or personalities are present and alternately take control of said person.

    2. You are not a narcissist. Being confident, self assured, strong, knowing what it is you want and knowing who you are are all signs of a healthy human being.
      Contrary to popular belief, the narcissist is not all those traits. Inside he/she doesn’t know who they are. On the outside, the egotistic personality is a borrowed one, it is a copy of someone else.
      You will notice this persona crack and the mask slip here and there.
      A super empath is a healthy human being, as everyone should be.

      1. That is one thing i have never had:
        a mask… i am original and genuine with everyone.

      2. I couldn’ t never fake emphaty..
        I cannot fake anything actually..
        So i think..

  6. Yes, that`s true. It took a long time, (too long), until I lost my patience and saw the lies and the reality. The shock still remains about that kind of personality disorder and that I did not see, that he was not normal at all. The next shock was that I had loved such a man or thought that I loved him. The shock after that shock was that I found parts of that disorder in my own family. Let them go and live their lives without me. The spell is broken. I do not want any rollercoaster in my life, I need a ferris wheel. Even a rollercoaster is boring, when you take a ride on it too often.

      1. ABB
        Your parents have only been narcs since September? Thats awesome lol. Maybe you can get them into treatment before it gets bad.

        I had to.

      2. You are lucky I like your smart assery……
        I thought that as I hit send. Seems that we think alike NA….I should have known someone would call me out. Glad it was you.

      3. FL11
        I was teasing ABB. I knew she meant she was no contact with them since September in her previous post but I resorted to “smartassery” as she put it. I know-payback is a bitch lol.

      4. Yes… im still far too scarred and serious….. so different from my former self….
        Im not comfortable living this tense…. but i can’t seem to fully shake it.

    1. Flickatina,
      Where have you been? Only coming out on Fridays? Miss your antics. Do you think the bomber who hit parliament was really HGs disengaged ex or dls? I believe that it was an isis claim to cover up Tudors real identity.
      Too soon?

      1. Possibly a bit too soon!

        I still lurk but to be honest, I only had a very minor brush with a rather pathetic narc so I cannot really relate properly to much here. It’s still really interesting but I don’t have that much to share that I haven’t already.

        Plus I get a bit tired of the self-absorbed, pseudo-intellectualistic, god-bothering, self-righteousness that can go on here. I’ll probably make myself very unpopular with that statement …. whatevs!

        How are you anyway?

      2. Well Flick….I am no contact with my parents whom are narcs since September and Im not married to one, soooo I really have no legit reason to be here. Except I get a chaos dose once in a while and I get to support our mystery man aka HG. 🕵Even though he really doesn’t need it.

      3. No he doesn’t – but we can’t stay away 😉

        Plus I have some other crap going on that puts my problems with my narc into their rightful place – out of the window! My youngest son has some mental health issues – it’s taking it’s toll!

        I have been binge watching Charmed recently and I keep seeing the Charmed Ones as empaths and the demons as narcs – it’s like watching really entertaining metaphor.

      4. ABB Sorry, do you mean a recent terrorist attack outside the Parliament in London where 5 people have died and at least 50 people were injured?

      5. Yes ABB to soon. Also an American from Utah was killed, there on his 25th wedding anniversary and it was their last day.
        People need to wake up and realize it is the ideology of Islam that will destroy many lives.

      6. Thank you Love.

        Cats rule AH 🐱

        I have found a new obsession. Witcher 3 on Xbox. I’ve been playing for about 6 hours straight 😮

  7. Sometimes we’re the ones who make a bold move to walk away or try to confront after seeing repeated patterns, then we get gaslighted that we’re paranoid, unstable, the crazy ones and accused of doing exactly that above.

  8. Turned down for what???
    Bizarre how we are doing absolutely nothing wrong and they freak out. Everything was cool and they look for some reason to attack. We just get used to crazy after a while and accept their abuse. So stupid. We are better than that. Walk away. But you can’t can you? It’s like they cast some spell on you like a wizard. 🐇🎩

  9. **Question for all Big Little Lies fans**
    Do you think Alexander Skarsgård’s (True Blood 😍 swoon) character is a narc or just volatile?
    In the show, he is a successful business man married to Nikole Kidman. He appears to be very much in love with his wife and a good father. However, he had her quit her high level career to be a housewife. He seems to erupt anytime things go out of his control. They fight physically and then have very passionate sex and then he’s very remorseful for his violence.
    So what do you think???

    1. Yes Love! My best friend and I are addicted to this mini-series right now. It is the best thing on TV! I believe Perry is a perfect example of a Mid-Range to Greater Narc. I do not believe his remorse for a second. He switches between Jekyll and Hyde at a flip of a switch. If you do not know the ending from the book, all I can say is keep watching! Their dynamic – Perry and Celeste – is so uncomfortable to watch. His focus is always on his wife and he knows by being a “good” father that will keep her bound to him longer. It is a tactic.

      1. Thanks so much Clarece! It is the best thing on TV. I haven’t read the book. Wow, you see through him so well! I thought his actions were truly passionate and heartfelt. Tears at the airport as he embraced his wife. His passionate lovemaking. He being so consumed by her.

      2. Some of these gals – Reese, Nicole and Shailene – deserve Emmy / Golden Globe nominations when the time comes!

      3. Oh Perry is consumed with Celeste alright! But it’s about keeping her at his beckon call and dominating her into submission with the physical abuse then taunting her that she likes it that way. His tears at the airport were about him feeling relieved to win again at keeping her bound.
        Her showing up to surprise him with the kids was to ease her own guilt feeling she betrayed him by seeing the therapist alone.
        I don’t want to give away much, but there is more darkness to come from Mr. Perry and love has nothing to do with it.

      4. I watched Episode 6. You are right, Perry is getting darker. 😞 I guess after all this time, I still get fooled by what I perceive is “love”.
        I won’t read the book until after I finish the show. I know I will want to read it in one setting.

      5. Have you watched Episode 7? Celeste’s flashbacks while preparing the new apartment were excruciating to watch! I don’t want to give away more if you haven’t seen it yet though.

      6. Woo. Thanks. I will watch it this weekend. I get affected easily by this show. I need to be in a relaxed state of mind.

      7. Hold on to your hat. You won’t be relaxed for the first 30 minutes…

      8. Wow wow wow. I wasn’t expecting that at all. A mental and physical abuser, a cheater, and a rapist. God, how incredibly blind am I?!

      9. Ugh. I’m embarrassed to say No, NarcAngel. In the beginning I thought he was a very passionate man, deeply in love with his wife, with a S&M kink … Wishful thinking.

      10. Love, how about the scene where Perry handed Celeste her cell with the message from the Realtor? I went numb on my couch and could not move and felt sick watching her get into the car to go to the Fundraiser. Her non-verbals in her face with defeat and fear were gut wrenching.

      11. Oh my goodness. I have felt those terrified emotions. Like walking to the gallows. And the car ride, where you’re unsure if they’re just trying to scare you or kill both of you. He talked about his dark demeans … Very interesting how they will acknowledge the darkness.

      12. Love and Clarece
        Re:B.L.L

        Wasnt it classic HG education? The over the top, all around great guy/father/husband (facade). Appears to support his wife by attending functions with her, (control over outside influence). He travels often (to secure new sources) but always right back home to “claim her” in a sexually violent exertion of control disguised as passion. The promises to change when faced with loss supply. Boxes ticked one after one……………
        Enjoyed it. Think how many women will see that and identify with it but not know what it really is a we now do.
        Thank you HG.

      13. Yes it was very apparent and covered Mr. Tudor’s entire checklist. Ughh, I wasn’t ready to accept Mr. Perry as a narc. 😢 I wanted him to be a unicorn.

      14. N. A. & Love,
        I thought it was also very telling projection that Perry would refer to himself and play “Monster” with the boys.
        The beating that came in the last episode, Celeste never uttered a scream or shout out. Only muffled whimpers. I think as long as she thought she could hide the bruises and take the abuse without anyone knowing, including her boys, it wasn’t that bad.
        I wonder how many other “Ziggy’s” are out there from his work trips?

      15. God! That tore me apart! I don’t understand how the 3 other women were not able to stop him from beating his wife right in front of them. It took Bonnie running at him at full speed to dislodge him.

      16. Jane was in shock coming face to face with her rapist. I think she was more or less paralyzed. Perry was in full on blinding fury mode…

      17. It was brutal. The real love story with the ladies, is with how much Ed loves Mady.
        I want to find my Ed (minus the beard though, lol).

      18. Ed had a beautiful voice. How were all the guests such great singers? That was one heck of a karaoke party 😁

      19. MLA
        I dont watch much tv but am watching this series also. Very interesting. I watched 4 in a row. I havent watched 7 yet. Maybe tonight.

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