The Porn Supremacy

 

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the-porn-supremacy

104 thoughts on “The Porn Supremacy

  1. Mary says:

    The previous message was sent accidentally as I was making a correction. My point was likely my hub has jerked off to pics of my moms feet. Nothing degrading about liking feet. However, in this case, using his own spouses moms feet to get off kind of feels like a betrayal To said spouse (me). I also found out he has naked pics of customers -he got from working on their computers and I am pretty sure he didn’t get their permission to keep. Is any of this sounding narc like, HG? Or not, since there is no intercourse or anything in the things he watches. I do think him having pics of women he’s met without their consent is twisted and degrading, but maybe he just likes the forbidden? Curious as to your thoughts. He def prefers porn to me. He has pics of me also and he even wouid rather jerk off to my pic than have sex with me. And when we have it it’s ok and actually HE is the one who doesn’t want any kink. I wouid like to try some light bondage (him in charge of me) but he isn’t interested. And he’s said there are no fantasies he has that he wants to ask me to try.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is certainly an indicator but not determinative in itself. His refusal of engaging in light bondage is because you suggested it and not him. Him telling you he would rather engage in a tribute jerk than have sex with you is a significant indicator – it is the rejection of an intimate act and also done to devalue you. I would need to know more about his other behaviours etc to know if he is a narcissist, but the sexual behaviours you have referred to certainly fall within the type of behaviours our kind would engage in.

  2. Mary says:

    HG, thank you for your insight on why narcissists rely on porn so much. I have a couple questions… could one still be one if he had an extensive collection of images and videos that only showed a woman in them? Like a strip tease type thing? Nothing degrading but it has no partner for her and no orgasms. Also, what it said person had on his computer a collection of pics he took of his mother-in-law’s feet? And he has a foot fetish and these pics are with his other porn, so likely he jerks odd t He doesn’t know I know, but I found h

  3. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

    I’ll be straight up – I learned so much about the um…interesting fetishes and paraphilias people have after my ex lmao

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yeah yeah yeah, nobody believes that Dr Q!

  4. Flickatina says:

    Indeed I am. I realised last night that season 12 of Supernatural had been on E4 and I hadn’t even noticed. Bloody episode 21 as well so I can’t even catch up.

    Damn you Geralt with your sexy voice and appealing moral ambiguity.

  5. Flickatina says:

    Is it wrong that I didn’t actually listen to the words – just the voice?

    I am a sucker for a nice voice!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Flickatina, have you completed your Witcher game at last and emerged blinking into the sunlight?

      1. Flickatina says:

        Well yes and no. I started again on a higher level. And I discovered Minecraft. I am lost.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are beyond hope now!

  6. BC says:

    How does the fuel crisis manifest?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello BC, a lack of fuel. If you read No Contact it is addressed there with reference to us entering into Crisis Mode.

      1. BC says:

        Thanks HG.

  7. BC says:

    How can you manipulate with a broken phone?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is but one of four.

      1. BC says:

        My narc seems to have only one phone. Is that possible? Treats it like his life was dependent on it…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Absolutely. That’s why he treats it as if his life is dependent on it, because in his mind, it is.

        2. gabbanzobean says:

          Mine was piss poor and broke and only had one phone. He frequently used up his data too. LOL. But oh how it was glued to his hand. Quite frankly I’m shocked he left it on the table/nightstand/wherever while he was intimate with me.

  8. narseeker says:

    There was an almost imperceptible delay + an almost imperceptible a-little-bit-over-the-top even in the Golden Sex Period. It’s like I knew this, was amused by it but the denial was too strong: for example, we were getting started and then I sensed his inner-workings going like “…1..2..3.. play track no 19 -of playlist in the head-, side B: The Complimenting Narc. click. go ” and then him voicing : “SSSeeeexy” “SSSeeeexy”
    Or when I asked him if he liked the massage (there was no doubt in my mind that he hated to be touched but of course I believed we were making progress and changing that ha ha ha). Then (Him to himself): “1…2…3.. DJ Narc, put track number 18 of playlist “Grateful for the things you do for me- side A. Ready? click”: Him to me: “Hmmmmm, that’s sooo good!!!”

    1. Brian says:

      lol I get that same feeling

  9. BC says:

    Is there a way we can trick a narc into confessing the truth about something?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      This is rather difficult because of the differing perspectives but certain admissions may emerge when fury is ignited.

      1. gabbanzobean says:

        Is there any other time an admission of truth may emerge other than fury? The only fury I ever really experienced with mine was silent treatments. I have no idea how to differentiate the pity/troubled soul nonsense from any iotas of truth. I still struggle with wondering if anything that was said was true, anything at all.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Potentially also during a fuel crisis.

  10. Giulia says:

    ….burn baby burn….

    https://youtu.be/EHVznvmQTuA

    1. Jail Maybebetter says:

      “I couldnt get enough, so I had to self destruct.” My narc husband sang this in his disco band and decades later got fired for using porn at work. Perfect.

      1. July says:

        Naissss 😏

  11. mistynolan01 says:

    Ha! I defined the relationship from the beginning. Friends, with the benefit of his body. (No, I didn’t put it like that.) I can’t speak for what the narc was looking for, but he liked what he got. A neurotic, hot tempered borderline, with tons of empathy and with as much interest in sex as he had.

    We fucked. We didn’t make love.

    Admittedly, I still developed feelings, but I didn’t fuel him up with that admission. No. He got fueled up wirh our fighting. I now realize he needed something to send his blood racing and an object at which he could spew his fury before we did the dirty. Me. He plucked the subject of our fights out of the clear blue sky and it was off to the races! Add cognac, stir. Hot sex. Repeat.

    Sometimes he would devalue me, calling me names I won’t repeat here. I was too feisty to let that pass, so … off to the races! Add a toke or two, more cognac, stir. Hot sex. Repeat.

    Good times.

    And heartbreaking times. Some times, his words cut to the core and I cried during sex. He really, really liked that. Using his body like a weapon, loading and unloading repeatedly. Some times, I hated him.

    But damn, I was hooked.

    1. Angelic says:

      Malignants narcissists have been totally kidnapped by Satan, reprogramned and use for destruction, the sad thing is that when they expect a reward from their master they will get destruction as well.

      1. mistynolan01 says:

        He appeared in my 2nd sphere of influence, so handsome, well-dressed, well-groomed, white teeth shown off with his brilliant smile — I swear I saw the twinkle in his eye literally sparkle at me. He swore he’d be honest, we’d have fun. He lied and I don’t like roller coasters, neither at the amusement park nor as a way to live life.

        I still love-hate him. I just bought HG’s book “How to Purge the Narcissist from Heart and Soul.” I’m so hoping it helps me. No contact sure hasn’t.

  12. Matilda says:

    Post-abuse, many empaths have intimacy issues, too… we’re all damaged in one way or another, HG.

    1. abrokenwing says:

      This is true Matilda . But after not having sex for so long if some psychologist would try his ink blot test on me I would see a dick on every picture that would show me.

      1. Angelic says:

        abrokenwing

        😂😂😂😂😂😂

      2. Matilda says:

        That made me giggle, abrokenwing! 😀 … I’m living like a nun, too, but in my rage, I would see swords and the blood of narcs spilled all over the page! 😉

    2. Angelic says:

      I am hoping on achiving that he will become impotent with others… .
      If i succed i will probabily never know…

      1. Angelic says:

        Nevetherless would be a great achievement?
        No?
        😉

      2. Angelic says:

        However, my fear is that he has found ” my secret” and use it as well with others as an “antidote”..
        Damn it.. how can we autsmart a narcissist?

  13. gabbanzobean says:

    The one I was caught up with told me he watched porn because he was lonely. This was said for pity I assume? We did some kinky stuff and when I asked him where his ideas came from he said from the porn. We never watched it together though.

  14. abrokenwing says:

    He even told me that he stopped masturbating since he have me but I’m sure he used his left hand a lot while browsing porn using his mouse with the right one . He liked to dominate and he loved watching an expression on my face.. He told me few times that he likes when he almost makes me cry ( in a good way) .
    If I would masturbate myself this would be perceived by him as a criticism and it would ignite his fury.
    I have never been rejected sex tho.

    1. gabbanzobean says:

      A Broken Wing,
      It ignited his fury? Mine loved it when I did that (on the phone and over media though). So weird how they’re similar yet still different. And yeah I know I’m told they never delete anything. So I’m sure those images and media will come back to haunt me someday. 😕

      1. abrokenwing says:

        Maybe it was just this particular situation that he reacted the way he did but since then I just became hesitant and less spontaneous..
        My ex husband loved it , he is somatic I think.

        Don’t worry about images & media gabbanzobean . Once he knows you are upset about it he will have the upper hand. Xo

        1. gabbanzobean says:

          LOL. He won’t know shit about how I feel about anything . He stopped talking to me two months ago and I haven’t heard a word since. I’m sure the pictures are still saved on his phone though. Despite the fact that the last time I spoke to him he said his phone broke and that’s why he couldn’t call me because he lost my number. 🙄

      2. abrokenwing says:

        Next time do it with Polaroid camera and take the hard copies with you. 😉

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hey ya!

      3. abrokenwing says:

        😄.. ‘shake it , shake it , got to shake it..’

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Like a polaroid picture.

      4. gabbanzobean says:

        A Broken Wing…
        You are too funny! All joking aside though, he continually insisted that he deleted all of my naughty media. HG’s Sex book said this was a lie and that they never delete anything. Yet I think back to the time I last called him and he pretended to not know who I was and then claimed his phone broke and he lost all his info. Surely my naughty media was backed up in the I-cloud or some shit. A Narchole’s phone would never break. Am I to assume he still has my naughty media? I sure hope his phone actually broke and all that crap was wiped out.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          He has it.

          1. gabbanzobean says:

            Is the old excuse of the phone “breaking” a common one that is used by you guys? (He’s a mid-range cerebral). And why give such an excuse? I mean we know you are glued to your phone non stop. It is like an extension of yourself. You take such good care of it to ensure it is always in tip top shape right? Seems like a silly excuse, “oh my phone broke and I lost my info”.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Yes. To manipulate you so you are confused, so you provide fuel.

          3. gabbanzobean says:

            I have 2 follow up Q’s to that.
            1. Has that excuse ever come back to haunt you where your actually broke or info on it got erased? Or are you extra careful to constantly back things up, such as our naughty media into the I-cloud?

            and 2. I know you’ve said mid-range does not know what he is. So to confuse and manipulate me to give fuel….in his mind since he does not know what he is, or what fuel is, so what does this essentially equate to? That him confusing me makes him feel good but he cannot pinpoint why? Just that it makes him feel good (aka: fuelled) so he continues to act like that? I am just trying to understand since I know you tell us that you, yourself, know what you are and what you are doing. Yet most others do not. I hope you know what I am trying to ask. My apologies if this question seems scatterbrained!

  15. Giulia says:

    I had a boyfriend once that used to watch at the realdoll site…we even played together ordering features, color of hair and so on…turned out the doll was about 15k dollars and he said no way! ah ah ah….he had to stick with me :)))
    He wasn’t intrigued by beauty and perfection…he had me already for that (ah!), he liked the fact that the doll was always ready, no needs and he could dress her like he wanted to…he was always buying me clothes actually. Can you imagine a man that can’t wait to take you shopping..? …he wasn’t a narcissist though…but still, we broke up…I wasn’t ready to get married again I guess….I had to find myself a nice narcissist to play with and get hurt…nice move…
    Don’t know about you but I can’t talk about sex and porn without being turned on.

  16. ava101 says:

    I find your words on intimacy most interesting here, too.
    HG – what was the title of the article about sending text messages each day at the same time? Yes, I have tried the search function but cannot find it. I can’t find anything anymore. 🙁 Could we get an index?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You Want To Wake Up

      1. ava101 says:

        Thank you!! 🙂 You are the best.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed I am and you are welcome.

      2. Angelic says:

        HG
        how can you be the best .. when my narcs say the same ..
        😂😂😂😂

  17. Going back to the possible criticisms that could occur through real intimacy – if all you’ve ever known is that you had to work hard in order to get something, something that wasn’t even love, but instead was something where your ‘need’ was exchanged in effect to a ‘want’ (success, money, people, objects), then your perceptions would have been purposely changed in order to comply to your family’s beliefs. Like how love and true intimate expressions were seen as
    weaknesses.

  18. Like an out of body experience. Perhaps something you used as a defence mechanism as a child, like one who invents imaginary friends so they can pass on their worries/fears, letting someone else deal with them instead. It would make sense to dissacociate from something like that – especially if they’ve been treated like an object themselves, to be used as someone elses (someome close, who you were supposed to be able to trust) puppet to re-live their fantasies. Something they were deprived of too.
    The need to feel like you were ‘in this world too, you know’, would then be magnified, hence the power you’ve accumulated over the years.
    Maybe.
    Possibly.

    1. K says:

      SarahJane1977

      Well put. Being treated like an object during childhood teaches you to project it onto others later on. The objectified is now the one who objectifies. It makes sense to me.

      1. gabbanzobean says:

        K,
        With that logic in mind, it it safe to say that when a Narc says, “You are NOT an object that I pander to for amusement…” (and I heard this quite frequently big words and all) I am to assume everyday is Narc opposite day and that I AM that object to him. Yet he continually felt the need to tell me how I was not. My head hurts again! Meh.

  19. E. B. says:

    There is a growing industry of sex dolls for men in Japan. The primary purpose is to have sex with them but there are men who take them out shopping, buy them clothes, bathe them. They prefer dolls to real women. Are those men narcissists or is it another disorder?

    I understand that if they are narcissists and have an IPPS, they can use their doll to triangulate with their IP. But if they are narcissists and do not have any partner, what is the benefit of having sex with a doll, an object which cannot not provide fuel with emotional reactions?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      There are websites dedicated to this concept but with. mannequins The men do various activities with the mannequins for instance, men take the mannequin on holiday and give it a name, they share pictures of the mannequin say by the pool, on the beach and so forth.

      I agree this doll could be used for triangulation. You are correct that there is no point having one as an IPPS though because the doll will not provide fuel.

      I would suggest that a narcissist may well engage in owning such a doll because of the control, the potential for triangulation and such like, but there has to be other fuel sources. I would not state that ownership of such a doll means somebody is a narcissist.

      The condition of gaining sexual arousal/sexual attraction to a doll or mannequin is Agalmatophilia.

      1. K says:

        Agalmatophilia, thanks. “Borrowing forever” for the construct. That’s a nice one!

      2. E. B. says:

        I had not heard about Agalmatophilia before. Thank you very much for clarifying. You are right when you refer to them as “mannequins” because they are the size and weight of an adult young woman. There was a TV programme about this subject a month ago. They are sold under the trademark “Dutch Wives”.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Interesting. I prefer mine to come from Stepford.

          1. E. B. says:

            Haha – Too late! All of them have been reprogrammed and weaponized by an Anonymous Avenger known as HGT. They have won all battles and reached dry land! 🙂

          2. HG Tudor says:

            For I am the Anonymous Avenger! Do I get a cloak?

          3. E. B. says:

            Only if you wish. What about Batman’s? Haha
            (Yes, you are. You have a secret identity.)

    2. I’ve watched documentaries on this. The ones I’ve seen, the men don’t have wives/girlfriends… so they can act out all their fantasies with the dolls, and feel safe doing it. There is power involved, I think, and they focus more on themselves and their fantasies than worrying about what a woman thinks/feels (so that suggests that they don’t really need ‘fuel’). Could just be a sexual deviancy/kink.

      Some people would rather not have some human extension on the outside speak or act out infront of them, and prefer to live out their fantasies one-sided. Bestiality might be the same, but I’m not sure.

      1. E. B. says:

        Hi SarahJane,

        I have just found the man I saw in the documentary. He is married with two children.

        Google search: “Married Japanese man claims he has finally found love with a sex doll”

        I agree that they get a doll to live out their sexual fantasies. Maybe perversions or other things they know their wives or girlfriends will not do with them.

        1. Thanks E.B, i’ll check it out.

          Fascinating subject.

    3. Angelic says:

      Narcissist do not need dolls..
      unless they are ” finished” with their narcissistic career…
      😂😂😂

      1. E. B. says:

        Angelic,

        Male narcissists I know who see other women as inferior and want submissive partners without personality had/have rigid, authoritarian, intimidating narcissistic mothers.
        It seems to me that many interactions with their female partners remind them unconsciously of their own dominant mothers.
        I have noticed that they cannot tell the difference between a request from a female partner and another one exerting power and control over them, just as their mothers used to do (“You do it because I say so!”). Some interactions are like triggers. Men hating their mothers is frowned upon in our culture but not hating their girlfriends or wives.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          That last sentence is a useful observation.

  20. I thought they despised touch, due to lack of love as a child, and only really get physically intimate to appear as ‘normal’ as possible (whatever that is) and to receive fuel from it. It makes sense in my mind that sex feels safer to them watching porn through a screen. You can’t fully control a real partner during sex because there’s always the risk of criticism. These are the things that can generally make us all feel uncomfortable.
    The walls are so high that they cannot be penetrated by love and real intimacy, due to the emotional milestones of child’s mind not being formed properly from the lack of certain needs that were never met.
    Emotional waters being held back too, by society’s dam. The release seems all too simple, but yet so hard.
    It’s okay to admit that you need something. You will not be weak in doing so – quite the opposite.
    I wonder if you see the Empath as an extended object, carrying all these problems you have set upon them, and that makes you feel powerful, because ultimately, it is then them who will break, not you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Correct.

  21. Angelic says:

    I am convinced that many narcs prefer prostitutes for sex

    HG ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      On what do you base that?

      1. Angelic says:

        HG
        On observing the pattern of the “likes” and “dislikes ” of the narcs

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Where is this pattern?

      2. Angelic says:

        HG
        where is the pattern?
        as a man you should know.. and that gives away the potential of what i said.. the peculiarity of erotical behavioural patterns.. which includes body language .. etc… and
        i am pretyy sure of this..

    2. SweetFreedom says:

      My ex prefers prostitutes for sex—a new girl for every occasion AND a young one (19 or 20 year old) at that. . And he loves to orgasm looking into their eyes—I think he feels like they are adoring, worshiping, etc. him.

      1. Angelic says:

        SEX IT IS MORE WILD AND MORE ENJOYBLE WITH WHORES FOR MANY PEOPLE AND NARCS .. IT IS A FACT..

      2. Angelic says:

        SEX IT IS MORE WILD AND MORE ENJOYBLE WITH WHORES FOR MANY PEOPLE AND NARCS .. IT IS A FACT..

  22. SVR says:

    Amazing as always. I think we have a lot to thank your doctors for. Thanks HG. The use of this information is not only good for piecing together my own life of late but in my professional life it is a godsend. Keep all the information flowing thank you.

  23. Same. I found my dad’s dirty magazines and used to lock myself in the bathroom to look at them. My first porn video was watched with friends when I was 12 (he had sneaked it out of his older brothers collection so we watched it while my parents were out shopping).

  24. Mrs Linton says:

    I’ve never had a situation where a partner would watch porn but reject sex with me. I know people who that has happened to and that must be upsetting.
    ps K I am glad to have made you laugh yesterday with my sister anecdote.

    1. K says:

      Mrs Linton

      word press would not let me use K, so I am theletterafterj.

  25. GrossedOut says:

    My other comment too bold for you to allow to be posted, HG? You speak boldly. Certainly you should allow your commenters the same language permissions. Not all observations will be in agreement with you, but will actually challenge you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not at all. Comments are in moderation for the reasons I have repeatedly explained. Anyway, last time you took the huff and flounced, but I see you have returned.

  26. Narc affair says:

    K…lol i was the same growing up sneaking peeks at my dads porn mags then yrs later at the porn mags at the pharmacy i worked at lol when we got satellite tv i would watch for hours. I felt like a freak but i now know its normal.
    Many people are uptight about porn for different reasons. I never had any issue with it. My hubby never openly watched it which i wosh he wouldve. Hes very prudish that way but thats his choice. With the narc he loves porn and we share it in many ways. Watching it together, sharing clips, sharing scenerios we can act out, things we like and would like to try, fantasies. Porn can be a lot of fun when its used in a positive way. Oddly ive not yet experienced the devaluing side of porn. Ive not been triangulated either with porn. I have thru witholding but porn was never brought into it ie. Him saying he watched tons of porn while we werent intimate altho he probably did. Ive never had anh problem with porn but then ive not been subjected to it in any negative way. I can see it being used that way tho in other peoples situations. Porn gets a bad rap when its the users of porn that are to blame. Its a great tool to spice up sex and to just have fun with even laugh at in some cases. It heightens the sex too and makes it more creative and not as mundane and drab.

    1. K says:

      Narc affair

      All those naked images were so captivating and it felt so naughty when I would sneak peeks. Porn is just another thing that people do and if it is used in a healthy way between, or among, consenting adults then it is simply a tool to spice things up. Porn wasn’t used against me and I didn’t feel triangulated by it. He was a night owl and we rarely watched together because I went to bed earlier. However, I did enjoy it when we watched together. And you are right, sometimes it was laughable. There is no shame in it and it certainly can make sex feel more erotic. Enjoy it! Life is short.

      1. Narc affair says:

        K…i totally agree porn in itself isnt the problem its when its used in an unhealthy way. I love the fact my narc watches it bc it really helps his sexual appetite which i benefit from 🙂 id much rather a partner enjoy sex and want it than one that has a low libido and no umph in the bedroom. Porn gets the engine revved up lol

    2. K says:

      Narc affair

      word press wouldn’t let me use K so I am theletterafterj.

  27. K says:

    When I was a child I used to peek at my father’s collection of Playboys all the time. He had a substantial stash down cellar. My boyfriend watched porn all the time on his computer. It never bothered me. He usually watched it late at night after I fell asleep.

  28. ISeeYou says:

    Nice backmasking. No thanks. Don’t listen to that shit, it’s full of subliminals. Yeah… that’s what you were all doing on plenty of fish. “Oh it’s because my fingers are too tired to text right now.” Haha! I know all your dumb tricks.

    1. Star says:

      I know what backmasking means but am completely confused by this statement… what am I missing IseeU?

      1. frogbubb says:

        ICU appears to be very emotional right now, and is using this blog as her forum for her uncontrollable anxiety and/or rage. Sadly, we already know how this story ends…

        ICU — most of us have walked in your shoes. We fully understand what HG is, and I think you do too. You also know that he controls this site, and he may be controlling you as well. Please take a moment to read and digest some of his work. The answers on how to handle him are there, as difficult as it may be for you. After that, get off of this site, and go find a different forum for healing (sorry HG and/or Anthony). Stop attacking him here — you’re not doing yourself any favors.

  29. “Take this, and take that. Do this, and do that.” Ooh, I say. I like how you say ‘cadre’. Great audio HG.

    Empaths watch porn too. 😉

  30. GrossedOut says:

    How is that you consider yourself superior if you admittedly say that you are merely just a reflection of others? This statement screams inferiority not superiority. You require “fuel” therefore by your own statements you defined yourself as an appliance that needs fuel to run. Only an object such as a mirror can give off a person’s reflection. It has been said that porn lowers the sexual function and even to dysfunction. I have no idea whether this is true or not. One thing for sure, I would never watch it, not for any excuse a man would give me. That’s my thoughts on your audio.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Because I win, I forge forward and I am the victor. That is why I am superior. Yes I need fuel and I always get it.
      I have not experienced any lowering of sexual function through the use of pornography and I know of several empath readers here who use porn themselves. If you do not wish to, that is your choice, but why not try it, it might loosen you up so you feel in less of a huff from time to time? That can only be a good thing surely?

  31. Ms brown says:

    Thank you!

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