7 Truths About Narcissistic Friendship

the-seven

 

  1. Our friends don’t really like you

 

The people that we choose to provide our inner and outer circle of friends have all been charmed by us and roped into our sphere of influence for the purpose of providing us with fuel, traits and residual benefits. They in return are granted repeated audiences with ourselves, they are able to gaze on the Sun King and benefit from their association with such a social titan. When you are admitted to my sphere of influence as an intimate partner these friends of mine only like you because they know that this is their role and they must do so in order to remain able to attend my court. Should I give the instruction they will turn their backs on you in an instant. Never believe that you can turn to them in a moment of need. You will head straight into a brick wall. Should you be admitted into my sphere of influence as another member of the inner or outer circle then these friends are your competitors. They are all seeking my favour, either to remain in the inner circle or to achieve promotion to it, such is the allure and attraction of being friends with me. These other friends will smile and welcome you, because that is what is expected of them but they are smiling assassins who will pounce and delight in plunging the dagger of isolation and ostracising into your back should I will that to happen. You are entering a viper’s nest.

  1. It is a one-way street

You will benefit from your association with me as a friend and you will enjoy my company, who would not when I am charming, magnetic and interesting but you are only allowed to occupy this positon so long as you are giving. You must provide me with the fuel to keep me topped-up through your praise and admiration. I expect you to be an errand boy for me, you will carry out my machinations on my behalf when I require you to manipulate someone by proxy, you will get me things, give me things and do things for me all because you want to stay in the elevated position of my friendship. It is also highly likely that I will possess some information about you or something you want which compels your compliance also. You are the giver and I am the taker. It is one way.

  1. Our friends do not know what we are

The blazing brightness of our brilliance is such that it obscures what we really are. Any complaints about our behaviour will be met with rejection and a confused response. They have always been treated well by us. We let them join us and we allow them to follow in our wake which has numerous benefits. They have no idea what we actually are for if they did they would no continue to be part of our retinue. They do not want to know any different however because they have been brainwashed into thinking that the status quo is to their advantage and therefore they see no reason to entertain anybody who seeks to usurp us.

  1. Your friends are all targets

I have no interest in making friends with your friends. They are beneath me but I will regard them as targets. There may well be your replacement amongst them and how satisfying would that be to corrupt one of your supporters to turn against you and sit at my right hand? I will charm and ensure that your friends think well of me as this will not only make my seduction of you as my primary source far easier, it will also provide me with fuel, traits and residual benefits as well. You friends are targets to be my new primary source, members of my coterie and even lieutenants so that I have a fifth columnist in your camp willing to act on my behalf when the inevitable devaluation begins.

  1. Our friendships are defined by the usefulness

 

As I have explained the concept of friendship for us all about what we can take from it and therefore so long as someone is providing us what we require, complying with our wishes and carrying out what we want then the friendship will endure. Should one of our friends see through us, turn against us or begin to fail in their assigned role it is of little consequence to us that we may have known them for ten years or more. It is of no concern that we go drinking with them every Friday, if they do not function as a constituent appliance then they will be switched off, excluded and replaced. We make friends easily and we keep them far easier than you might think. Very few leave us. We usually do the jettisoning.

  1. Our friends must never outshine us

We like our friends to be beautiful and handsome but not better looking than us. We like to have a beautiful crowd around us, it signals to the world that we are special. We want the interesting folk, the talented, the successful and so forth as we are able to steal traits from all of these people to accentuate our own success and popularity so we are better able to seduce more people into our sphere of influence. We want them to achieve, look good, be fascinating so long as none of them outshine us. We benefit from the reflected glory but it must not shine brighter than our star otherwise someone will have to be exited. There is only room for one king on this throne.

  1. We can actually like our friends

So long as the member of our inner or outer circle does not offend any of our requirements detailed above we often do actually like them for being interesting and caring people. Of course, this is not enough on its own, they must provide fuel, allow us to take traits and provide residual benefits but we are able enough to like the fact that someone is amusing, that someone is a good partner at badminton (as long as we usually win) or has some entertaining anecdotes to share from a recent holiday. So long as they do not transgress across our requirements then we will also take delight in these additional traits, for like jesters, ambassadors and courtiers in a royal court they all have their own individual function that serves to benefit us.

26 thoughts on “7 Truths About Narcissistic Friendship

  1. Twilight says:

    NA
    on not in
    My autocorrect hates me this morning

  2. NarcAngel says:

    Twilight
    She probably ruffled his feathers by saying he shouldnt be so cocky strutting around with a sore dick for a head.

    Wha…wha…

    1. Alpha/beta says:

      I was going to say what a cock that rooster was 😂

    2. Twilight says:

      For God sakes NA

      All right that made me laugh, he does have 25 hens to “take” care of and he does have his “favorite” at the moment.
      It is comical thou this hen stands outside of the coop looking in and clucks at him and he tries to “get” her through the fencing.
      Maybe you are in to something……

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Twilight
        Check her eggs for a tiny little stamp that reads:

        F.U Cockhead
        Luv N.A
        Xx

        1. Twilight says:

          Lol
          Now they have been double yoke

  3. Twilight says:

    Alpha/beta

    Chickens are the same except it all revolves around the dominant rooster.
    A friend of mine has chickens and god only knows what this hen did but she pissed the rooster off, he has rejected her. When she was in the coop he would peck at her until she started to bleed, at that point the other hens start to attack her. Now she has to stay separate or they will kill her.
    I will never look at them the same after reading this article,

    1. Alpha/beta says:

      Twilight when seen the documentary on the monkeys a year ago my whole view on them changed. They can be so brutal. No longer do i look at them as the silly faced cute animals. I know this behavior is normal for them but the way theyd tear a weaker monkey apart or alienate it from its own babies really disgusted me. Sadly when i look at this tho its not that far off from human nature.
      The wolves documentary was the same sort of dynamic with a weaker beta wolf being made to eat last to the point if it being skin and bones. The odd thing is from time to time the alpha and the beta would play together but the alpha was always dominant even in play. Sadly the weaker wolf was attacked by another pack of wolves when it was in a devalue stage and outcasted from its pack. Its pack members showed remorse and missed the weaker dog. It was pretty interesting. It was a natiknal geographic documentary following a couple who lived with the wolves for a year.

      1. Twilight says:

        Alpha/beta when I was younger I watch many documentaries and in real life. Nature is very brutal.
        People are no different, now today there are more Empaths and narcissist/sociopath/psychopaths yet we still balance each other out. There is a scale for each and if one was to put it side by side they would see it.
        Everything is made of energy, it is neither good or bad, perspective dictates that. Yet you can not have more of on.
        So as “evil” as HG is, there is an empath on the other side that balances his negative, The normals have an equal balance of energy.
        There is only one way the negative can charge and that is off of the positive.
        My perspective is we are all searching for that other half of energy. We just don’t like what we find because it isn’t what we expected, for them at this point the abuse starts again because they need to recharge. Why some Empaths go “super nova” , some just walk away and why some stay. Those that stay are no different then the lessor it is all instinctive , no conscience thought just running.
        Now I do not agree with the abuse that happens and believe behavior can be change and still obtain what is needed, they have got to see the upside in changing. And it will only happen with one that is aware.
        I do apologize for the rambling, I actually was running in my thoughts this morning as I was writing

  4. This doesn’t apply to me. I dated beneath my standards with my N. My friends thought he was gross, but they said, “If he makes you happy, who am I to judge.” As soon as he crossed the line, they were happy it was over. He knew they saw through him too. He could never look them in the eye, or found ways to disappear when they were around. He also ignored their friend requests on social media.

  5. Alpha/beta says:

    Ive observed many narcissistic friendships in the workplace and they remind me of the animal kingdom. Having watched many documentaries on monkeys and wolves in particular both social species they arent too different from human dynamics in particular to the narcissists and the heirachy. Theres an alpha usually a male but with humans it could be male or female. Then theres the minions(narc friends) and these animals are the ones closest in line to the alpha/narc. They are in favor with the narc. They get to eat at the same time as the alpha. They also do the devaluing of the weaker animals. Keeping them inline with respects to when to eat(last) and mating (who theyre allowed to).
    The weaker ones are the ones made example of and are routinely attacked to keep in line. The alpha animal is on constant alert of anyone trying to take its place not that far off from that of a human narcissist. I think narcissists can be a product of their environment but i also think theyre born that way and an alpha. The narcs friends are next in the heirachy and the enforcers and flying monkeys. They are the narcs mini me’s. Never the empaths friends and never to be trusted! Theyre just as bad as the narc or worse.

    1. strongerwendy says:

      That’s my problem. I’m always attracted to the alpha male.

  6. MLA - Clarece says:

    Wow! It seems he has it meticulously rationed too with the acts of kindness so it never seems over the top or excessive. Creates the perfect bright spot in everyone’s life. Then you’re left in shock when you can’t get an ounce of empathy or kindness. It’s infuriating.

  7. 12345 says:

    This is part of the reason I was drawn to him. He is adored by everyone in town (Except the people that really know him including his wife). I would watch him give professional services for free to low income clients, pay for coffee for the customer behind him, pick up trash on the ground, bring one rose to every female employee in the office on Valentine’s Day, give the downtrodden money for medical expenses, give away an umbrella for someone getting wet. Such an unselfish giver to all humanity. Oh that such a wonderful and nurturing man would choose me. Then he did. Never a single flower. My car broke down and he told me to call someone else for help. Never any money. He is as tight as a tick with his money but loved his wife’s trust fund. I lost my job. Told me to go to my parents if I needed help. He’s a shit stick for sure but nobody knows it. Nobody.

  8. KT says:

    HG what does it mean if the ex MMNarc constantly asks me favours. Is he using me or testing me? As a result I feel friendzoned. He has hinted that he would return the favours and I said I don’t expect anything in return.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are currently a NISS. He is utilising you for residual benefits and also ascertaining whether you are worth promoting to IPSS.

  9. Mona says:

    Then I am proud of me. He had to exclude two of his friends or took some revenge on them, because they were on my side. Thank you, boys!

    1. foolme1time says:

      Mona,
      I also had two of his friends support me instead of him! One lost his job because of it, however he is much happier now that he is out from under his thumb!

  10. Watermelon says:

    This is so true. The narc I know is mostly disliked (by the majority of the town) but there’s a small group who love him.

    To them I’m the angry, crazy one who storms off when he appears, what they don’t know is he’s recently done the same to me and I’m hurting. He only shows up to see me react 🙁

  11. KT says:

    Can a friend become an Intimate Partner?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes

  12. Jenna says:

    And if he does offend me, i make it known to him, and he apologizes promptly.

  13. Jenna says:

    This is informative for me. Thank you. I knew it is a one-way street, that i need to be careful not to offend him, but he reciprocates and tries his best not to offend me as well.

  14. Jaeger says:

    Outshined….*sigh* Chris Cornell still in my head.

  15. Patricia says:

    It bugs me that you like your friends and not us.

    1. mistynolan01 says:

      Sounded more like he sees your friends as possible lieutenants and people that he can use to triangulate you, even finding a replacement primary intimate partner among your friends. They don’t like anyone who is not providing fuel — or something.

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