The Narcissistic Truths – No. 56
35 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 56”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Another thing this image might refer to is the power of provocation.
They provoke you, sometimes you don’t even realise it until you leave the scene, your blood pressure goes up (someone mentioned this hypothesis already), and your nose bleeds.
You even miss out on the chance to throw a tantrum back because you haven’t yet absorbed what has happened. You leave, they laugh. “Look what an idiot she is!”
You bleed later.
I remember when I first visited this blog, all I wanted was to have “the narc” back.. took me more than a month, to figure out my nose is bleeding and he’s laughing.
NarcAngel,
Again, as I mentioned in a previous post, I’m not by any means validating/under-estimating physical abuse. I’m just talking my personal preference based on what I had/have to go through on daily basis.
Our experiences, as humans, vary from person to person. So are our reactions to different triggers/stressors.
For instance, I would have beaten the hell out of him if he had hit me. I would have left home, or never contacted him again or whatever. Again, there’s no underestimation here.
But imagine living your life worshipping/victimising someone who was deliberately ruining your life. Or spending your life feeling confused/guilty about someone you meant shit to.
On a side note though, I think narcissists would rather use emotional abuse. It’s less messy, it’s more covert. Thus can be stretched out like pizza dough into whatever shape they’d like to make.
Emotional abuse forces the victim into gradual and chronic submission, gradually life and sense of identity is being drained off the victim. Just like the blood on this image. I wonder if that was what HG actually was referring to.
Complete cloudness. You trust no one, yourself the least. You don’t even trust your own feelings. That’s what they’re aiming at. That’s what they thrive off.
It’d take years to figure it out. But, with physical abuse, an instant comeback/fleeting the scene might be instantly executed by the victim. Game ends. In addition, there’d be no space for manipulation or gaslighting which narcissists really strive off. There’re no lies or hidden messages in breaking a bone. Boom. Finale. And it’s all up to the victim’s ability/will to escape now.
Again, I’m stressing I’m not under-estimating, I’m comparing.
I work in the medical field, I’ve seen kids and teens who have been physically abused, yet very “aware” their abusive parents were assholes. Yes, the damage inflicted is no secret. But, there’s no doubt now who’s evil and who’s clean.
I haven’t gone into details of how I starved myself for weeks to death on multiple occasions, just so my brothers would tell my father and he’d just call… Just a single bloody call.
I haven’t mentioned how I once brought him a partner to acknowledge of marrying me to who was alcoholic, 15 years older than me, abusive (in multiple ways), just to get a reaction from my father. He was ready to marry me off, came out and met the guy while he was drunk himself. If it weren’t for the fact that the guy didn’t even want to marry me, it’d have pulled off.
My father once tried to hug me in his last days while he was drunk, I shuddered and pulled off.
Years. I spent 20 years of my life worshipping the abuser.
I’m not whining, I’m just saying we perceive things differently, our tolerance weans and strengthens based on many factors.
And, no. My life wasn’t a “dream”, I wish it were. I pray daily I’d just wake up and reset. I just want a second chance.
I wish everyone here white hearts and minds (the way they originally were), second chances, blank pages as if they never went through any of that. Physical or emotional.
I’m not under-estimating physical abuse, I’m just highlighting the fatality of isolated emotional abuse. Both ruin lives I understand, but the stealth nature of emotional abuse is what I’m aiming at shedding a light on.
NarcAngel,
My father abandoned us when I was 16 (he was always on travel-basis), died when I was 23, I grieved over him and felt guilty for not sticking to his side for years before I finally recognised the truth. That was a year or two ago, I’m currently 32, single and commitment-phobic that I only choose unavailable/emotionally-abusive “partners”. The fact that I feel super idiotic, damaged and unrepairable is beyond even my own belief… it took me more than 8 years to FINALLY realise what “was wrong with me.” My life is ruined because of the way an emotionally-unavailable father “brought me up”.
As a child, what you’re raised to see is what you perceive as “normal”, it’s even what you seek in every single relationship. “Pattern-repition” behavior.
He never hugged/kissed/said good words/talked to me/had any discussion of whatever sort. After abandoning us, we went to visit like every 2 weeks or so to get our “allowance” ($5 each), the “meeting” wouldn’t last longer than 15 minutes, he never asked about how our lives went, he sat on the bed, we’d sit around, he stared at the tv, lights turned off, drunk, he wouldn’t even look at us. He sometimes didn’t answer the door while I knew he was inside. I had to work in order not to get “money” from him.
When he died we discovered papers how he wanted to sue my mother (now I recognise her behaviour with him as NC) to get the house, he almost spent all his money, ruined his job and ruined his reputation (and ours) in the process. Mother once told me he only slept with her 3 times to get us (3 children). He always slept in a separate room (what I recognise now as silent treatment/withdrawal). We had no friends.
He never laid a finger on me.
I never thought anything was wrong about our “relationship”. I never asked for “help”. I didn’t know I was in a problem. I did everything on my own, I was often perceived as independent and strong… it wasn’t until very recently that I finally crashed into a nervous breakdown, basically after being discarded myself by a man I thought of as “perfect”.
After years, I gradually started noticing other people’s families.. gradually taking mental notes on what a father actually is and does. The flashbacks, the comparisons, the what-would-have-it-been-like-ifs gradually resurfaced.
I finally realised at 31 I was not like other “girls” and never will be. Something is broken, void and irreparable.
Again, he never laid a finger on me. He never scorned me. He never verbally abused me. I wish he did. I would’ve figured out something was wrong sooner.
I spent years thinking that my enemy was actually my best friend. I spent years looking for a “dream man” who was just like him. I spent my years feeling guilty for not being able to make him “happy”, for not being “enough” to make him happy.
B
Im glad you felt comfortable enough to share your story. We are here to support and learn from one another, not to dismiss anothers experience or one-up, so I will say this:
What you describe can sound like only a dream to some. Especially those who have been physically and/or sexually abused. The mental abuse is a given. You are under-estimating physical abuse if you have never experienced it.
If I had to choose between physical and emotional abuse I’d choose physical.
I know some would disagree, but for me I WISH it was physical.
Physical is direct, you don’t spend years trying to figure out what’s wrong with you, the wounds and scars are visible, they get attended to faster . With emotional abuse, nobody (including u) would notice the damage done until it’s too late. Just like hidden cancer.
B
There is no such thing as physical abuse without mental abuse. It is an extension.
I get what you are saying. I felt like that too but after thinking about it decided that physical abuse is actually double abuse because physical abuse has emotional repercussions too. You can have physical abuse without emotional impact.
B
You dont think those physically abused spend years trying to figure out why? It is not separate-it comes with the mental abuse attached. You obviously know not of which you speak. Be careful what you wish for. What an affront to those who have lost their lives or maybe worse yet live with both the physical scars and mental mind fuck that came with it. The children that witnessed it and will emulate it or be a victim to it themselves because of it. I will hope for you that you never get your wish because you are too compromised to be thinking clearly to say such a thing.
He laughed so hard her nose bled… as in a singer hitting a high note can shatter glass.
Probably in response to her thinking she can escape.
She was clearly being vivacious and having too much fun…and the N used physical force to let her know just how unfunny she was being #twisted #knowyourplace
Extreme emotional stress creating high blood pressure…causing a nose bleed.
(He laughs at her..or whatever he has done to her….she adores him…
it hurts..) ?
Oh; I was overthinking it I see… it it’s a bit more simple .. it means..
I laughed so hard ‘when’ your nose bled.. I laughed so hard ‘that’ your nose bled. I laughed so hard ‘because’ your nose bled… “when I made” your nose bleed.
I think this may refer to when the empath is having real fun and laughing too much at someone else, she gets backhanded?
Indeed.
CM should get a prize for figuring this one out. Any prizes today, HG?
Just surprises. 12345
Let me understand your affirmation here… You would back hand/physically asault someone around witness/es if you thought she was laughing too much at someone else… please clarify… I would think that’s beneath you and something the Lesser would do?
No. You have to remember that I write about all of our kind an therefore not all of their behaviours – giving someone a clout for laughing for instance – would apply to me, but I will write about them.
Thats what i thought cm. It was sarcasm that he laughed so hard(didnt) and lashed out at the victim bc they were laughing and it caused criticism. This would be an example of a lesser being annoyed and impulsive physically.
My heart goes out to anyone who would put up with someone physically harming them. Its so wrong whether it be a woman or man. Heartbreaking to see 🙁 disgusting behavior!
I remember a scene out of dolorese claiborne ill post. Dolorese is laughing with her husband about something she turns her back and he hits her with a 2×4 Its so shocking. It really illustrates physical abuse.
https://youtu.be/uzGZy84FeRQ
I say a lesser would resort to this behavior but im sure any abusive person is capable of it. I love the ending to that scene but in reality itd be very dangerous to react to an abusive partner like that. He couldve easily killed her and thats happened many times during physical arguements. The narc goes into rage mode and rationale leaves and they react. Many an accidental death during a fit of rage has occured. A narcissistic rage is a very serious situation.
Three’s a party now! This one escapes me too, Ladies.
I get it.
It’s like laughing at someone’s expense and leaving them hurt.
Please explain HG
StepNarc slit her wrist during one attack and then screamed: look what you made me do!!! Never their fault.
I know suicide is never funny but this made me laugh. Wtf? How can you make someone slit their wrist???
When the subject is caused to think that their escape lies beyond such an action as opposed to remaining and fighting the agent or agents that show them that door.
12345
Sorry for the confusion.
StepNarc was my StepFather. He was attacking my Mother and at one point she said she just wanted to die. They were in the kitchen. He had arrived home late from the bar and she was never to be in bed. She had to be available to make him something to eat (and abuse). HE took the knife and slit HER wrist (you know-cause hes goal-oriented and wanted to help her fulfill her wish of death). Once he saw what he had done and considered the consequences, and after I had put the kids in a closet and came to confront him, my mother locked herself in the bathroom to attend to the wound while he screamed look what you made me do! and its all your fault-you make me do these things. Turned to me and told me: your mother is crazy, and walked away. I attended to her. No hospital.
Clearer?
Looks like he didnt think it was funny. And of course its never his fault.
I don’t understand either
That blood is so gross. It looks like it has coagulated. Oh wait! That’s a painting! Duh. I still don’t get it, though.
HG:
Not sure if I understand or not. Is this referencing how much control narcs have over us? Or is it how powerful they THINK they are?
I do not understand this meme.
This one i cant figure out