10 Social Media Mind Games

10-social-media

 

Social media is a substantial weapon in our arsenal of manipulation. Invariably, our selection of targets and the courting of the same will begin either through social media or if that is not the starting place, we will use social media as a device to aid and progress our seduction of you. From mining your online profiles for the purposes of gathering information about you which we can then use to maximise the prospects of successfully seducing you through to utilising the pervasiveness and flexibility social media affords to maintain our love bombing campaign. At the outset we probably sourced a half a dozen prospects including you, our tendrils reaching out through the electronic highways until we settled on you as our primary source. Once secured, we then allowed the width and depth of social media to expand the blazing glory of the golden period. How exciting was it to wake up and wonder what we had posted to your wall? How exhilarating was it to see our liking of your tweet and the subsequent re-tweet to our own followers? It became addictive, the frequent checking of your various social media profiles to see what delightful comments had been strewn across them by us. Of course, we would never shirk the opportunity to use the power of social media to devalue you and harness it for the purposes of smearing you to all and sundry. There is however a period of time that lies between the seduction and the out and out devaluation. It is a period of uncertainty, confusion and worry. It is hinterland beyond the wonderful golden period and outside of the scathing and savage devaluation. We revel in this ambiguous period since the plausible deniability that accompanies it allows us to plant those seeds of doubt in your mind so that you begin to think that it is you and not us that is the problem. You are forced to over-analyse, speculate and waste countless hours wondering what our intentions are. We have been so loving to you, so surely this behaviour cannot be what you fear it is, a dimming of that desire, a passing of the passion and a limiting of our love for you? No, after all the wonderful things that we have said, especially plastered over social media so many times, these recently odd activities cannot mean we have grown tired of you can they? You do not want to worry but you cannot help but do so because something is not right. You are fearful of mentioning your concerns to us as you do not wish to be seen as insecure but these actions are troubling you. Are you reading something into them that is not there? Are you over-reacting to them? After all, it is not as if we are directly writing something that is hurtful are we? Or are we? It is this uncertainty that serves us well in the provision of fuel. Furthermore, should you challenge us we can brush your concerns to one side with ease which will only serve to increase your apprehension. This tactic then paves the way for us to press forward with our devaluation of you, secure in our knowledge that you are now feeling vulnerable, that you are unsure of what to think at best and at worst you believe you are seeing things which are not there. This period of uncertainty which we cultivate and engender through social media is a purposeful step towards your devaluation. It is calculated to serve us.

Be warned; should you see these signs then understand that your devaluation is on its way and we are merely preparing the ground for the next stage in your ongoing and painful dance with us. Do not seek to find an innocent explanation should you witness these in action. Expect the brush-off from us and to be mocked for being worried, but worry you should. These are clear indicators of our calculated attempt to mess with your mind, using social media, before your devaluation begins. Here are ten ways in which we will do this.

  1. Frequent likes on somebody else’s profile

 

Invariably this will be somebody of the opposite sex who you do not know and have not met. There will not be any comments from us – not yet – but a plethora of likes will appear on that person’s posts from us. Each picture they post will receive a thumbs up, a star or a heart from us, their comments or tweets, no matter how mindless, trivial or banal will have our indicator of approval. Indeed, as you scroll through this person’s output (and we know you will be looking) you will be hard pressed to find any post which does not bear our mark. This person may indeed be in the early stages of our cultivation as your replacement or it just may be a simple triangulation, but either way you ought not to underestimate the impact of those likes.

  1. Removing your tagging of us

This is not a wholesale removal of ourselves from being identified on your Facebook page. We will not request the removal of those photographs including us or of us alone. That is saved until later. Instead there will be one or two removals of the tags so you are left wondering whether it was done by mistake (which of course we will reassure you that it was the case should you actually dare to ask us) or if there is something else behind it. It will one or two removed today, then another couple in a few days’ time and then some more as the trickle becomes a flow. This will engender a sense of apprehension in you which will have you checking your profile to ensure that there have not been any more tag removals. You will be relieved when there have not been and dismayed when more happen but each time the removal is small in number as we deploy our well-honed salami-slicing technique once again. This will keep you in the zone of it being too small to make a fuss about but not insignificant so it preys on your mind.

  1. Block then unblock

It maybe for an hour, possibly half a day but never any longer. This is done to create alarm and consternation as you wonder why this has happened. If you happen to raise it with us we will express surprise and suggest a glitch in the system or it must have happened by accident and re-instate you with a smile and a patronising look. Usually you will sit fretting over it, wondering what it signals. Is it a mistake or is this a sign of something bad? You don’t want to necessarily raise it with us as this may make it seem you are always checking our relevant social media platform and so you endure an hour or so of repeated checking and nervousness until a huge flood of relief when you find you have been unblocked. That sense of relief is overwhelming and is part of tightening our grip on you by giving you a first taste of the roller coaster to come.

  1. Look who’s back

You have noticed that we have recently followed or friended an ex. An alarm bell starts to ring. Why have we done this? This was the ex who was labelled as a stalker and a lunatic, who we warned you about and now we are friends with them on the relevant form of social media. What is that all about? You want to ask but you do not want to appear insecure or suggest you feel threatened, but you are and you are caught between (and this is what all of these machinations seek to do) needing to know and not wanting to show you are actual bothered by this development (because it might be something minor) even when you are. There are no messages between us and the ex, no interaction whatsoever, but who came after who? Did they send a friend request to us or was it the other way round? We both follow one another on Twitter – who initiated it? The questions form and race around your mind.

  1. Message in the night

You awaken and check through the overnight postings on Facebook et al and notice that we were last on-line, according to messenger, 4 hours ago, but that was at 3am. What were we doing up at that time and more to the point, who were we talking to? The reality is we may well have not been talking to anybody but we decided to set the alarm, wake and create the appearance of having been doing something in the expectation that you will notice and subsequently become unnerved and suspicious at this development which then happens for the next few nights running before halting. Do you mention it? What was going on? Can you raise it with us or do you risk being accused of stalking our movements? What’s the matter with you? Do you not trust us or something?

  1. Nostalgia

You notice that we occasionally send messages, post or comment to a particular person along these lines.

“Hi, remember this one (insert YouTube link to song)”

“This was great back in the day wasn’t it (cue picture of an album cover)”

“We should go and see them again like old times (insert picture of link for ticket sales for upcoming concert)”

Who is this person? We have never mentioned them before and you thought you knew about our past. Why are we suggesting doing things with them and evoking old memories? Are we just friends or is there something else going on?

  1. Meme blast

There is a sudden upsurge in postings which contain supposedly deep messages or retweeting the pseudo-philosophical output of a Twitter user about love and relationships. The memes and announcements appear to have our endorsement by reason of our posting them or retweeting them. Such examples would include: –

“I am not alone but I feel so lonely.”

“Don’t worry if you are single, God is looking at you right now saying I am saving you for someone special.”

“Trust is like a paper, once it is crumpled it cannot be perfect again.”

You’ve seen many of these cluttering up timelines before but why have we started sharing them? Are we directing them at you or someone else? Have you done something wrong? What has brought this on?

  1. Missing in Action

There was a time when you would always enjoy the fact that after each time we did something together there would be reference to it on social media. We would check in at a particular restaurant and tag you as being there with us. We would make reference to the weather being particularly delightful at some picturesque location and make mention of you. Later on you would look back at this pleasant reminders of a special time together and also, admit it, you wanted the world to know about it too. All of a sudden we go out together but there is nothing posted. It happens again. Even worse when you make mention of it, you notice it does not appear on our timeline as we have changed our settings so that it has to be approved by us first before being seen by other people. Why have we done this? Do we not want people to know about you? Are we ashamed of you all of a sudden? Are we hiding you from someone else?

  1. We didn’t mention it

You spoke to us earlier and we explained we were having a quiet night in watching a film. Browsing through social media you see Instagram pictures of us enjoying a night on the tiles. We never mentioned that earlier. Perhaps we changed our minds? Maybe we got a last minute invitation? What if it was planned and we chose not to mention it? Surely we didn’t forget about it? Perhaps we didn’t want you to know, but if that was the case why are we plastering the night out all over social media? By the time this happens a third and fourth time your suspicions are causing you considerable concern.

  1. Misinformation

We post a comment or reply to a tweet you have directed to us with something that does not make sense. It does not follow in respect of what you have written. This non-sequitur has you puzzled. Why did we do that? Then it dawns on you. It must have been meant for someone else. The content of the message will hint at something which could be of concern – “ha ha yes it was brilliant” – what was brilliant? Did we spend the night with someone else? Did we go somewhere with somebody? Who was it? Then again, it might be innocent. Perhaps it refers to the recent football match we went to with our friends or perhaps something we watched on television, but it has unsettled you. Of course there was no message meant for anyone else, we just posted this comment or reply to make you think that it was meant for someone else in order to increase your paranoia.

26 thoughts on “10 Social Media Mind Games

  1. Lori says:

    I need some help from anyone that can answer this do that I don’t fall off the wagon. The narc unblocked me from one of his fake profiles. Pulled some little shenanigans to get my attention but did not directly contact me but did all sorts of little things to which I did not respond. I was unblocked a month now I’m blocked again. What in the Hell is he trying to do here ? And now that he’s blocked me again is that the end of this ? It’s been really hard not to respond but I haven’t. I just need to know what he is pulling so that I’ll stay on the wagon when I know what to expect I do much better and am able to hold nc it’s when I’m uncertain that anxiety builds and I end up breaking down

    HG if you have time can you address this or Has anyone had this happen ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. You should not have been looking at the fake profile to know that you had been unblocked and then blocked.
      2. No, it is not the end. As repeatedly stated, it only ends when you die or we die.
      3. You do not need to know what he is doing to stay on the wagon, that is emotional thinking. Implement no contact – stop looking at the social media profiles and then you do not have to wonder why he is blocking and unblocking. He is of course doing it to provoke you into responding with fuel, it is a hoover.

      1. Lori says:

        He popped up in my people you may know. Then he started commented on common friends posts after I did so that I would see it, changed his pic to one I’d recognize and changed where he was from to his home city so that I would in fact know it was him. It was honestly easier when he was right there in front of me. Simply ignore and don’t respond. I have made no attempt at contact or acknowledgement of him but he’s when he blocked me again that some anxiety started.

        He did it to create this anxiety so that I’d contact him didn’t he ?

        1. Lori says:

          Anyway, I always appreciate whatever response you give HG. This blog has grown a lot and honestly I don’t know how you are keeping up with it all. Thank you for responding.

          1. Lori says:

            And btw haven’t blocked him. It’s pointless he just opens new ones. For some reason it’s easier to not respond when I can see him. It’s when I can’t see him the anxiety starts.

            Hg is he going to do something awful to me because I didn’t contact him? Is this a sign of anger or is it just a manipulation to get me to contact ? This is always the part that’s scary. I simply don’t know if he blocked with the idea of I’m gonna turn up the anxiety on her or whether it’s I’m gonna get that bitch for ignoring me . He’s a vengeful person. Do I need to prepare for something malign ?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            I advocate that you organise a consultation so I can receive more information from you and provide you with an accurate response.

  2. Lisa says:

    HG we used whatsapp to communicate a lot . Since me ignoring the Hoover he is going on there at times that he would have messaged me first thing in the morning when he gets up 5am then last thing at night . Sometimes he’s not on there at all for days but anytime he is it’s always the times he would have messaged me ? Is this my imagination working overtime ? I’m getting silent calls from withheld number on my landline which I’m 99% sure is him . But the last seen whatsapp then the not going on whatsapp I may be overthinking ?

  3. Jody Allen says:

    Of all the stupid things I’ve done during Post Escape, Social Media is not one of them.
    I used to be on Facebook several times a day, my page abuzz with new pics, silly memes, witty responses. Now it’s silent as a tomb as is his.
    I’m certain that I’m blocked from seeing what’s being posted on his wall, yes I have stalked it, but I have this gut feeling that if I post one sad sack meme, one thing that could be construed as negative or an insult toward him his finger will slam down on the Nuke Button and then I will have to endure the pain all over again on top of the smears.
    I realize that this still gives him control over me, but I would much rather deal with playing a game of chicken, then endure even more heartbreak. Right now he’s very quiet, probably thus engaged, with the occasional drunk text..I don’t bother him now and hope that I will stay out of his head long enough to get through this without all of that drama included.

  4. Lou says:

    I cancelled my FB account years ago. I hated it the first time I used it. Have never missed it. However, I reactivated my account two days ago because I got a link from FB to do it and out of curiosity. Got an invitation from my narc mother yesterday. I blocked her right away. I am giving FB a second chance. We will see. But I already feel like concelling the whole thing again.

  5. RS says:

    When I first started seeing him I begged him to be friends with me on Facebook but he said “No, then you would just be following me around and knowing what I was doing”. The last time I saw him (3 1/2 years after I had asked him) he told me to “check Facebook. . . you will be amazed!!!” He had invited me to be his friend. I told him, “my friends would never speak to me again if they knew we were talking again”. I’m so glad I didn’t as I am sure he would have smeared my name and tried to hook some of my friends. What a jerk! He was not very happy with me.

  6. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

    Hm….how appropriate – some cluster b who has a gf that periodically tries to hit me up just got engaged.

    If she only knew how he hits me up and has been bangin women on the side.

    I feel bad for her. She really has no clue.

    Any day now the jackass will try and contact me – watch lol….3….2…..1….

    Oh social media thank you oh so much for these lovely updates lol 😂

  7. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

    It’s so transparent.

    I knew a psychopath who would make some of his posts public to try and throw off his targets. He would say conflicting information so that just when the girl thought she figured out the profile was him BAM he would throw some shit in a public post that would be an attempt to throw her off.

    Other times he would use the profile to cover up where he had really been – like basically ‘confirm’ where he was by checking in places lol.

    Don’t these guys know who they are dealing with 🤣😜

    Can’t play a player 😎

  8. NarcAngel says:

    This all seems so grade 7. Seriously-get off Facebook. Its the Devils playground, and other than posting pertinent info or pics with valued family and friends, only keeps you abreast of the fakes and posers and their pathetic show and tell. Ask yourself if its really added to your life or if you really like who youve become since youve been on it. If youre honest-the answer is no. Its just toxic and addicts you to the drama.

    1. Yolo says:

      Narc Angel

      I totally agree. I deleted my account not only because of the narc I didn’t want to lose term friends and family members.

      Imagine, watching friends post pictures at Disneyland knowing i just gave you money ti keep your lights on. 😊Albeit, she was a season pass holder and paid overtime I was tempted to write what are you doing.

      I have had to bite my fingers on several occasions. In addition, to all the unsolicited inbox messages from narcs all around the country. I guess it was all the inspirational memes posted to encourage myself.

    2. Anonymous says:

      I agree with this so much. I’m still on Facebook but don’t post on there, but use it to keep in touch with a few people who live abroad. However, I could find other ways to remain in touch with them. My life/relationships were so much easier and so much more pleasant before social media reared its ugly head. My ex always claimed Facebook is for “kiddies” and that he plans on deleting it. What I didn’t know is that it only appeared like he didn’t use it much, but in reality he adds new women like it’s his job. Ideally I want to date a caveman next who has never heard of the internet 😀

    3. DebbieWolf says:

      Narc Angel

      Agreed.
      Ive never bothered with FB myself ever.
      Never will.
      Dont need it. Dont want it.

    4. Twilight says:

      NA

      I agree most people are fake and want to present this prefect world of theirs.
      I know many people so I use mine to share this blog, and other information I come across, my life thou is still very private.

    5. AH OH says:

      NA, I have taken the first step. I have deleted it on my iPhone along with messenger which is connected to Facebook. I hate everyone equally on there and I have to work hard to find good things to post about. I do have my family on there and many people I have known for 30 years or more. The last personal post was pictures from Galapagos Islands because they are very cool.

      I did not have it while I was in Ecuador and I did not miss it.

      Thanks for the inspiration! But before you delete your account, you must removal your pictures. I have hundreds on there. UGH!

      1. NarcAngel says:

        AHOH
        Hello Sam! As far as I can see, its one big show and tell and stalking app. Another addiction. People use it to watch life on a screen instead of living it, like those idiots who go to a concert and watch the whole thing on their phone instead of enjoying the atmosphere theyre in.

        She says as she sits with her coffee keying this post onto a screen……………never mind. Carry on. LOL.

  9. MsSevyn says:

    I wonder if normal would be boring…

  10. M. says:

    He did most of what you mention- I did the unfriending and the blockings, though. He is a mid-ranger, as I have concluded, so everything he does is always indirect, never overt. He knew I was watching, secretly following all those unknown women’s accounts, all the meaningful likes in songs of friends with public profiles, all his comments that made no sense at all (or made all the sense of the world). I became an obsessed detective, a master of guessing and analysing, too proud to tell him most of the times, tormented and trapped for over 2,5 years. Since he met and proposed to his wife, she started doing it for him. Right from the start-I learned about her existence by her tagging him, for the first time in his life. What a revenge he took! All the taggings, the photos of their wedding kisses, their hands together, the beautiful places. She has been his public relations( he is normal now, he said, has shut some mean mouths up, he is not gay, he has a base). She always seems so happy, so in love, so unsuspecting that at the exact same time she taggs him at a party he is asking for dates and trips abroad other women that he “eternally loves”-including me. Right before their wedding, 3 days after it, he begged for love and dates and sex. But she keeps tagging and photographing and posting, celebrating their love. He does nothing, enjoying the safety of the label she gave him(plus the houses and the money and the car) and, at the same time, he is pretending to be an available, free bird for all of us watching. Still plays games. Social media totally rule. They cannot let you escape,not completely. Only you can, HG. It takes a Greater to beat a mid-ranger-and other greaters. If that Greater is you.

  11. DebbieWolf says:

    Misinformation….it just shows how not reacting to all of that is so important. It would be maddening to try to upset someone and they don’t even seem to care.
    Being totally unmoved by this..or at least appearing to be, is definately a win win for the victim. A kick in the teeth to the narc.
    Best of all? Getting to the “real zero impact”.
    Absolute non reaction inside, aswell as out.

    It can be done.

    Ooooh the beautiful billowing plumes of the Supernova… Marvellous.
    ♥♛

  12. Anonymous says:

    He never blocked me but unfriended and friended me on Facebook a few times. I did the same to him though because as someone once said, I’m “exceptionally passionate” and when I’m angry, I might do one or two or three or even ten silly things. I’m pretty sure his only motivation for doing the unfriending was to hide things. I once noticed that pictures of me were suddenly set to “visible only to you”. I called him out on it: “what? no, I didn’t change any settings!”. He hid his friend list a few months into the relationship, but since mine’s always hidden, I couldn’t really bitch too much about that. Anyway, when he figured out that I have my ways to still see people he is FB friends with he quickly unfriended me for good.

  13. Sunniva says:

    Would you also stay off Facebook for a day, just because you now they will check and wonder what you are doing and with who?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Of course.

  14. Ali says:

    and social media can be a double-edged sword into exposing you to all… only there’s a way to do it that is subtle, indirect and may or may not be effective, depending on if the flying monkeys and other minions are aware or simply blind and wrapped around unknowingly.

    What I know is that the ex deleted his fairly fast (the many of which he was using to cheat and some to triangulate, others to try and make me jealous) and now hides behind fake profiles in an attempt to cyber stalk… only that’s not getting him anywhere 🙂

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