Money

money

Money is one of the most obvious ways in which one can demonstrate one’s power. Money provides options, it reveals opportunities and provides chances where none might have existed previously. Money equates to power and power equates to money. We have a healthy attitude to the question of money. What we create is ours. Yours is ours also. I have written previously how the successful of our kind exhibit our success and our power through the accumulation of money. It may be the creation of a successful business, the climbing of the corporate ladder into well-paid positions of responsibility and it might be the production of items and services that others require. There are of course those of our kind who have not grasped the concept that there is an unique opportunity afforded by the way that we are to be successful and in turn earn substantial amounts of money. Those of our kin who have not harnessed our special attributes in that manner are quite frankly a disappointment and they shall forever remain lesser narcs. Yes they are narcs but quite frankly they are not in my league or that of my high-achieving counterparts. I must admit to having nothing but contempt for those our kind who have failed to apply our abilities in this manner. They are letting the side down. That, however, is a topic for another day. What our less able kind and those of us who have embraced success do have in common is the unfailing ability to drain you of your financial health.

How does this manifest? Perhaps some of the following will be familiar to you?

  • Never paying for drinks and meals when out together
  • Never contributing to joint expenses and then spending a small fortune on something for ourselves
  • Borrowing money repeatedly with a convincing tale of woe attached. The money is never re-paid.
  • Taking out loans in your name which you only find about some time later when they are in default
  • Learning the house has been mortgaged to the hilt and the advanced funds have been frittered away
  • Expensive addictions to drink, drugs, prostitutes and/or gambling which we expect you to bail us out of
  • Straight forward theft
  • Failing to honour maintenance and child support arrangements
  • Selling your possessions
Why does this happen? Sometimes it is about instant gratification. We want something and we want it immediately. We have always been used to getting our own way so why should it be any different when it comes to the question of money? We do not recognise any boundary that says we should not have your money. It is in play and up for grabs. We want something and you can pay for it. This of course reinforces our control over you by seizing your finances and goods we have you beholden to what we want to do. We show that we are in control and of course we anticipate horror, howls or protest and anger when you learn of our activity. All of which is good fuel. There is also an element of retribution. We may have been denied something and this in turn offends our sense of entitlement. We feel criticised and we want to get rid of that sensation. One method is to assert our power by taking what belongs to you and using it to our benefit. Sometimes we do this an expend your financial resource in a totally excessive fashion which just wastes the money. To us however there is no waste in such a step. It underlines our importance, it affirms our power and it keeps you under out control.
The scale by which our kind engages in this sequestration of the money and assets of others can vary hugely in scale, even when perpetrated by the same person. In that vein I am reminded of the late Robert Maxwell. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the name, Maxwell was a Czech born media mogul who operated a publishing empire in the United Kingdom. He fell off his yacht in 1991 and drowned. There is little doubt that he was one of our kind – plenty has been written about the man and his behaviours which confirms that. Maxwell plundered the company pension scheme stealing hundreds of millions of pounds from the pensions of the employees leaving thousands of people in financial difficulty. There was the misappropriation of the money of others on a massive scale. Maxwell was also found on Christmas morning by his wife and children surrounded by torn wrapping paper. He had wanted to know what had been bought for the children. Rather than ask his wife, he went ahead and opened all the wrapped gifts. He did not take the gifts but he certainly trampled over a boundary and appropriated the surprise that was meant for his children. Nobody is beyond our sense of entitlement when it comes to money or assets.
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29 thoughts on “Money”

  1. HG,
    I have had all of that happen to me and there is no court against con-artists when you are married to them.
    My ex has stopped paying alimony for the last 4 months. Oddly, he sent me a very minimal amount on his birthday- must have wanted me to remember him on that day. We have a court date set…
    We have so much evidence of all the lies he has told already. He has even filed bankruptcy in order to put a stay on the last case he took against me and lost, which caused me to lose all the money he should have had to reimburse me for attorneys fees. Courts usually help children and he has one from the current primary source who had the baby before our divorce.
    Please tell me, is all of this court non-sense just for fuel? Revenge on me for not staying with him after he asked me to take him back after finding out about the pregnancy? Or is it just about not wanting to give me any money, even though he agreed to it in the first place? He actually told me we could separate and get back together. I guess he didn’t count on one of the secondary sources getting pregnant. He even asked me if I wanted to be the Aunt! I guess that way he would expect me to contribute money… I feel like I have heard it all now.
    I just want him to pay me what he owes me, my only chance at reimbursement for all the money he conned me out of…. any suggestions on getting paid? The only thing he seems to be afraid of is jail. I am told if we have him pay through the courts, that would be a possibility.
    Thank you for any explanations on this behavior…

  2. Can I ask pleaee what is fuel? What does it feel like? If I’m. Crying and tearing my hair out because you’ve wrongfully accused me how does that feel? X

    1. Fuel is the emotional response of an appliance towards us. See the book Fuel for more about the subject. If you are crying and tearing your hair out in response to how a narcissist has treated you, you are providing negative fuel.

      1. How does it feel to you? My ex met me told me how would derful he was and he was so sweet toward me but he locked hos dog in a cupboard so no matter how impressive he was I always had a raised eyebrow then he started falsely accusing me then he didcarded and happily trotted off into sunset with another lady lol. I wonder how my empathic tears made him feel …

  3. Although my income was more than twice what his was, I must admit that el narco was pretty conscientious about paying his way. However, I also see that the tempo of my devaluation increased once I retired and suddenly didn’t have as much money.

  4. Well, money was the reason, why his father wanted me as a girlfriend for his son. His father always wanted a rich woman for him. His son did not succeed. His son only found women who had money but not on the extent which was wished. The parasite himself told me that all his friends thought that he had lived on the costs of his past girlfriend. But – of course- that was not true. Later I met her and she said, that she noticed how much money was there, since he had gone. He had lived on her costs. I refused him my money (except a small amount) and now I am sure that was one of the reasons why he devalued me. He saw no real chance to get it. The next victim was willing to share her money with him. Sad, but true. He was lazy, but told the opposite. A huge balloon of promises, fantasies and nothing else. It is hard to know, that he was not interested in me because of my personality but because of the money that I own.

      1. Hahaha, I didn’t think so. I will initiate a hoover and take him deep sea fishing. 🙂Sleeping with fishes😂😂

      2. lol i can only imagine what goes on behind the scenes in The City of London.
        There are rumours of widespread hidden transexuality and other weird stuff.

  5. With an unrestricted sense of entitlement can come criminal activity and consequences. Nobody is untouchable and it eventually catches up with them like maxwell. Maxwell thought he could do anything he wanted and ended up fishfood.
    My narc never once asked for money or for me to pay. Hes always been good that way not to say i havent bought him gifts etc.
    My brother in law on the other hand has financially ruined my sis in laws life. Shes been soft pimped by him into working and supporting them both thru the years. He is definitely a lesser narc.
    As far as money goes its nice to have and makes life easier in a lot of ways but id never ruin and destroy other people to get it. Some things are more important than money.

  6. My Ex LMN Husband, and my current Ex LGN SO are both very successful men who scoffed at any pittance I could bring in, and both had no shame in telling me so.
    The LMN worked very hard at what he does made a small fortune just to gain prestige in the community and for political advantage in the State where he resides.He is not charming, but smart and has a very intimidating and arrogant air about him. He would treat everyone, no matter how big the party or the bill was.
    The LGN was very successful and could charm the pants off of Mother Teresa. Money seemed to rain down on him no matter what endeavor he chose. Yes. It is a fact he earned his quite honestly, he just had a gift for it. I remember doing weekly deposits that were 5 figures, so he wasn’t lying about that. He would sometimes say he forgot his wallet, in the beginning sometimes I paid for things or got footed with the bill.
    However, it was much more fun for these two to sabotage my job/career then isolate me, dictate my life and keep me all to themselves. By telling me they needed me to be there for them, to help them, to take care of the home, the kids,the office, etc. Or flat out accuse me of cheating.
    In both the marriage and later on in the relationship I was not allowed money. I was allowed use of a credit card with the receipts accounted for (only in the marriage- the LGN would track me online as paper was just a waste of time and beneath him)
    In one instance the LGN gave me a nice sum of money, he called it my Fuck Off money.(perhaps he was telling me something then..to run like hell!) But he knew I would only use it towards him, his kids, and the home. It was a test, deep down I know that’s what it was. I should have taken it and run..but I was too dumb to even tuck it away, so sure that my future was with him and we were going to live happily ever after like he promised.
    Ugh..hindsight and the 20/20 thing.
    Financial Abuse was a big thing, both times.

    1. The narcs ex wife … he convinced her to buy a coffee shop railroaded her into it . 18 months later when he no longer wanted that dream , he walked he lost their family home and declared bankruptcy. Her parents almost lost their home also . Than he casually walked away from the marriage to a woman he met online , who had just lost her father and owned 2 properties. Me I lost in excess of $20,000 . He is a con man , a parasite. His poor ex wife needs sleeping tablets and now drinks as she can’t cope . If you are Australian you’d no ACA on tv , they love to expose con men & love rats . I would love to contact them so no one else gets hurt by this low life scum . He even while married arrived to met a Russian woman in Melbourne promising marriage, he was married at the time . Ggrrrr …. disgusting human being that should not draw breath . Oxygen thief !!!!!!
      This scum is from Mildura .

  7. Money certainly brings opportunities in this world and is nothing more than a tool of control, but will not they who create the money and issue it as debt ultimately control those who believe in its illusion?

  8. He never wanted my money, paid for me most of the time. But one time, he said “you owe me so much money” and I gave him this incredulous look and said nothing. However, it didn’t leave me alone and I don’t know if it was on the same day or a day or two later but he annoyed me again with something else and I pulled €500 in cash out of my purse and shoved it at him hahaha.

  9. Gratefully he did not try to take any money from me, which I have a good amount of. ( and he knew it, and he blew up in my face when I told him how much I had and said “I don’t care how much money you have” He’s married and I am sure he takes from his wife all the time as she makes more money than he does.

  10. My first discard came very fast when I refused to contribute a substantial amount of dough towards a new holiday home of his choice – right opposite his daughter’s caravan (as if!). He paid for nothing in our so-called relationship. He once bought me a coffee and he never let me forget it. He owns nothing that his daughter doesn’t part own. The meanest person I ever knew apart from my narc father. Looking back I’m convinced my money was the reason I was targeted. Hateful slimy git.

    1. I believe I was targeted also for my wealth. He wanted to get married with 6 months of dating. Yea! right.. if I married him I may as well turned over my checkbook.
      He wanted me to invest in several of his schemes one was buying a gold mine in british columbia. Really?

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