Poll – What Would You Wish For Upon The Narcissist?
You have been granted one wish. This wish has to be applied to the narcissist (or narcissists if there was more than one) that you have entangled with in your life. Whether it was a romantic, social, familial, work or other ensnarement, what would you want the narcissist to experience? Do you wish them dead? Perhaps you want them to change and be genuinely remorseful for everything that they have done? Maybe you would prefer them to be placed in isolation and with no access to fuel? Go with your gut response. Do expand on why you chose this in the comment.
Thank you for participating.
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Enlightenment and understanding and discovery and growth and healing so I guess that would be to no longer be a narc… -grin-
I would wish for a cure so that they become genuinely caring people capable of empathy, compassion and love.
It must be horrible to feel so empty that you desperately need filling up with the fuel of others… to never feel inner peace and joy when alone. Or be unable to feel the soaring heights of falling in love. Yes, it can go horribly wrong, but interestingly, it is often because of people like you.
If everyone felt love, compassion and empathy to one another, what a beautiful world it would be.
That the void he feels inside be filled with love for God, for himself, and for mankind.
It would have to be isolation. Like an addict going cold turkey. People are sent to jails and prisons everyday to isolate them from society as punishment for the harm they’ve caused others.
Just because the harm a narcissist does is not illegal does not mean it should go unpunished.
Upon release, they need the tattoo on the forehead so the world would now they have been justifiably been branded unworthy of attention or praise. That would cause them to have to seek it in an honest fashion.
I want to hear him scream. To feel pain. For his genital piercings to be ripped out one by one and shoved up his ass. For him to be humiliated. Repeatedly raped by very large men that hurt him and make him bleed and have it viewed on one of those sick websites by sickos on the dark web where he creeps around. For him to be castrated and live in poverty with no pets and be forced to take a bus to work 2 jobs at a fast food joint and a warehouse and live in a ghetto with roaches everywhere and to wake up screaming every night for the rest of his miserable existence with bugs crawling on him. More later…
Oh dear! 😬
Sandra Bogarde
Did he forget your birthday? Bastard.
Lol! No Narc Angel, that crime would at least warrant a bit of lube. 😀
I enjoyed this lol! I feel your rage from New York baby!
Reppin New York! I did not you know you are from the big 🍎
Sandra B
Can I be your friend? I like the way you think!
“Branded” as you say. I call it complete exposure so that others realize the fraudulent behavior of this person. In my opinion it is the discarding and continuous new fuel that keeps everything else going in a cyclical nature. They just don’t see it coming and he suffers no consequences as he moves from person to person in a destructive manner. It is so frustrating to know the truth and watch others get reeled in to the web of lies and deceit. If they knew, and still chose to become involved, that is entirely a different matter and the responsibility is on them. I feel everyone should be held accountable for their behavior.
I want my ex to feel the pain I felt and I want everyone to know the little shit he really is.
Financial loss!! 23 years controlling every aspect of my life. He bought himself gifts all the time then claimed he had no money! I had a pt job to buy needed items for my kids. Financial loss would be like death to him!!
I made my (inner) peace very quickly with him. I spent ten years with him and had three beautiful children with him. I wish him no harm, despite the hell and turmoil he injected into our lives. He’s just an adult boy with the only coping mechanisms he knows since they were forged in his heartbreaking childhood. Yes they are well developed mechanisms now and can sting with the ferocity of a mutated scorpions tail. But he knows no other way. And while I’m no longer willing to accept that level of torture as a life, he will continue along as he always has. I wish him true peace, in whatever form peace can help him. True peace. No more inner torment, no more fear, no more all encompassing craving for life-fuel or no more bottomless black hole. I’d love for him to experience the tantalising, intoxicating excitement of authentically falling in love, the spellbinding, soul stirring bliss of connection through real intimacy and the comforting warmth and safety of being in the arms of one who truly loves your soul. You can’t beat real!
I chose isolation and no fuel, because this what they plan on doing to me.
I would feel sorry for them after a few days and let them out though.
Here is a question for you, if your IPPS is watching videos on youtube about narcissism how does that make you feel?
Amused.
lol, this reply reminds me of the black dragon in ‘no you are the narcissist 3’
That was an excellent answer 👏😜
Thank you.
I am slightly disturbed by the number of death/violent responses on here 🙁 And we call ourselves empaths?
I don’t wish death or pain on anyone – if I did it would make me no better then they are.
Caveat – if anyone hurt my children then all bets are off…..
i agree with your observation, Flickatina…
Flicka, I am surprised as well. Good thing Mr. Tudor didn’t set up an actual fighting ring.
Hi Flicka !
Trust me, I would never wish death or violence on anyone but I’m more than happy to make an exception in this case,the slower & more painful the better. Does this mean I’m no longer an empath? if so, if that’s what it takes then so be it.
I’ll draw the line at selling my soul to he devil, though it’s crossed my mind lol .
Hi NSS,
You are still an Empath sweetie. it means you were traumatized and went through abuse that pushed you into survival mode. The fact that you are feeling anger means you are healing, it’s part of the healing process to be angry and want justice. We go through many emotions when we heal, from sadness to anxiety to anger and everything mixed in between. Sometimes it takes a long time to get out of the fog while others arrive at peace sooner than others.
Hugs to you NSS,
Indy
Hello Indy 🙂
Thank you as always for your lovely reply & support !
I agree I do want justice for me that would be closure but I didn’t get it & I find it so frustrating after everything that happened.
I fully understand that it hasn’t walked off into the sunset & the ” Happy ever after ”
Is it bad to want to want to see it suffer the same way as I am, still ?
Yes I’m still emapth , though sometimes I wish I wasn’t .
Hugs back at you Indy
NNS x
Flicka, yes you are still an empath. An empath going through various stages of grief which is normal and actually a healthy sign. Besides…. if you had turned into a narcissist type personality, you wouldn’t be worried as to whether or not you were still an empath:)
Loneliness
Lonliness would be pure hell to a narcissist!
HG said himself that he is never lonely.
Correct.
Hmmm scratch that then lol
I chose doing good works for a lifetime bc i feel thru doing good eventually itd rub off on a narcissist and theyd feel a sense of satisfaction and a different sense of self worth. Utd have to be a lifetime tho. Ideally id want for a narcissist to learn how to self regulate and validate themselves and be able to face their demons and heal. Fuel is the driving force and shame. Get rid of those two issues and youd have a healed narcissist.
Id never wish harm on a narcissist. If it was a serial killer id just want them to get the death penalty but never to be tortured or harmed. When you wish that on another you become that.
My mother and brother i only wish the best. Ive hated what theyve done but i know enough now to know theyre damaged and have their own issues to deal with as do i. I consider myself spiritual and our life here is a tiny part of a larger equation. To focus just on yourself and not the whole picture is not seeing life fully. Our time here is short and theres much more.
I wish he had a real heart and soul and that he was capable of feeling love and affection and I wish I could be the one to deliver it .
I wish all his fake affection came from a good place . His false self was wonderful and I truly loved him. I wish he was real .
Sympatico, my friend.
Guaranteed to hit 6 million on this one alone.
Ha ha, it certainly has kicked the hornet’s nest.
It has certainly done that HG!
HG, you’re on a roll today. Lots of great new posts that are obviously striking a lot of chords. You must have gotten some really potent fuel. (Or are hoping for some.)
Lol you definitely have stirred things up HG!!
Not like me to do that is it?
Not here, yet your poll has been interesting in what one would wish for on another. Understandable, as to why many feel the way they do, yet I am curious as to how would this affect them if they actually saw things happen as they wish.
I vote genuine remorse.
This is because it is the most fruitful for a variety of reasonss and then covers a lot of the other outcomes by default.
To experience genuine remorse you have to have felt the pain and suffering you have already caused someone to understand fully… suffer enough to understand. Or, become so self aware, rising in intelligence and mastering the need to abuse. Overcoming it.
Reaching a position of real remorse it would take care of the other things in the vote by default.. such as doing good works to overcome things to make up for it etc …not hurting other people becoming self-aware so that narcissist is virtually on the forehead but is being addressed and used for good not evil.
Death? We all die in the end. But it is better for an unaware narcissist to live rather than to escape the consequences of their actions.
And there are consequences…
For those who are unaware of what they are, there are many consequences and it is time and age that brings them. Those that are unaware will never be genuinely sorry as they don’t know what they’re sorry for really, so they will cause suffering throughout, but in the end they will be left alone craving the very thing that they have done it all for.
I believe most of them will be in fuel crisis and die alone … old and wretched.
There is no point in them dying before their time because more people are learning about narcissism anyway so they will have fewer victims in the end.
Once it was appropriate to smoke in a public place – now it isn’t, it is completely unacceptable.
‘The march of time’ and ‘information’ take care of many things.
Very hard to choose. I never wish ill on others. I guess I’m a fool and an infernal, eternal optimist but I just wish everything could be alright and I could recieve the love and energy I have given.
i do not wish harm, though i did at one time… i am over that now
Good for you, C*. It is not exactly that I wish him harm, though. Just that if he suddelny disappeared from the face of the earth, it would be easier for me,for his numerous other victims and for the future victims too.
Yes it would be easier, for sure…
As you say, only death can tear us apart. And I, personally, am not planning to die.
I would wish them to have empathy, and the ability to show real affection. 🙁
I guess I choose non from the list. 😳❤️
My wish would be that he could truly feel love and joy. I chose this because he struggled so with this and openly spoke of it. I could see such confusion. He wanted to feel it so badly and said he would hear others describe it but didn’t understand it. This frustrated him and would depress him. He wanted what he saw others had so badly and wanted to understand himself. My wish is that he can somehow conquer his demons and love himself enough to receive true love. Once he truly love himself enough to feel deserving of it he can then be free to receive love and hopefully feel it. I want him happy. There is no hate in my heart. This is my true wish. Even though he hurt me in the end as he said he would, I am glad he had some trust in me to tell me about his dark side. He did what he had to do because it was all he knew. I thought I could help him but all I did was trigger him. My true wish is for his heart to be filled with love and joy! 💜 I think of the Grinch when I write this. The ending of the story for the Grinch. 🙂
I go through phases and depending on which phase I’m in, it’s either death or genuine remorse for his actions. Never the others really. A permanent golden period with me wouldn’t be possible because I can’t forgive what he’s done. I don’t care about his finances, the other options are also not very appealing to me.
Now 1. death and 2. genuine remorse for his actions:
1. I don’t wish death upon him because I want him to suffer. It’s not this “you deserve to die” thing to me. I have often said to various people in my life that it’d be easier for me if he was dead because then I wouldn’t have to handle knowing that he doesn’t give a shit about me. I’d know he’s just gone, but now the shell of the person I loved for four years is still on this planet, but it’s just the shell, that’s hard sometimes.
2. Knowing he’s genuinely sorry for what he’s done would help me immensely. I’ve never been bad to him, in fact I’m actually quite a decent human being and it irks me that he doesn’t – or rather cannot see and appreciate that. So if a fairy could make him see what he’s lost and how he’s used and abused an amazing human being, that would great. I hate that he can walk away and be in denial about my greatness hahaha.
Voted for genuine remorse because his death would make me feel horrible, I think. But ask me tomorrow and I may have changed my mind.
Feel exactly the same as you Anonymous
I wish he was able to feel love , joy and happiness.
I choose death for the two narcissists that impacted my life since I was a child. I would sincerely love to hear of their death this afternoon. Interestingly enough, I do not believe in the death penalty for incarcerated individuals because they are locked up. The two narcs that impacted me most are free to roam the earth looking for more to destroy. Their death would be a blessing to humanity.
I went with my first initial gut feeling, and that was for him to no longer be a Narcissist.
However, since we are dealing with wishful thinking (One of my favorite pasttimes) you have to be very careful how you word the wish..wishes would trifle with every aspect of a person’s life.
If you just wish for him to no longer be a narcissist and then he is no longer a narcissist. That means all of the coping mechanisms he once used to get through life are gone -no matter how terrible they may be for those around him- he is left even emptier than he once was.
The wish would, then, be a cruelty on our part and a complete nightmare for him.
Imagine not being able to cope at all with the sudden rush of thousands of emotions, everything that was once planned and thought out so carefully scattered to the four winds, and immediately trying to deal with others on a level playing field without the proper tools to help guide him through life, his success would be gone because he would be stripped of the cunning ways he rose to the top …I shudder at the thought, especially if the wish was granted for an older Narc. I think it would put him on the verge of suicide or the loony bin. That just rings of vengeance to me, and I’m not a vengeful person.
Thetefore, I would still wish for him to not be a narcissist, but I would add:
I wish for _____ not to be a narcissist anymore and to instead continue to be the successful person he is today, but to be a happy, emotionally healthy, loving individual who is equipped with all the positive coping mechanisms to get through life. (then I would probably havè to seek therapy from him because he would be healthier than me).
I’m sure my wish would still mess something up for him, it’s a very slippery slope when dealing with wishes…As the saying goes:
Good intentions pave the path to hell.
♡
A well thought out analysis Jody.
Jody
Your description of a narc suddenly having emotIons sounds like a good plot for a movie! I agree with you. If it was just suddenly sprung on them, it would sure be a wake up call! That’s why I said “healed” meaning having the empathy and emotions and knowing how to deal with them.
You forgot to list impotence and significant weight gain. Just become an ugly sack of shit that no one will go near. Add some oozing pustules on top of that. Ugly and limp dick. That would literally kill him.
Yes but what do you really think Bibi!?
I am glad to have offered some amusement. Seriously though, some of these commenters here are too nice. They are all wishing for peace and harmony and I am wishing for a world of narcissist eunuchs. #priorities #chopchop
LOL! I spit coffee all over my keyboard at that one. You’re a woman after my own heart, Bibi.
Perfect!!! That really needs to be added to the list to pick from. 😉
And hair loss, Bibi!!
Oh, I forgot about my ex narc. I do not care if he dies tomorrow. I really don’t. But I would like him to know that I know what he is.
I feel more “in peace” towards him. I know his life is difficult in some ways.
Hg
Theyre my gut responses
The pain shock disbelief is beyond words – and it was all deliberate .
A lot of us have had difficulties lets say – in our past — but we dont set out to destroy another human being .
Im still lost in the emotional sea – blinded by disbelief and tge horror that hes supported by so called friends/ associates — the english law system – and the destruction of my life , my kids , my mum . .
Change stop hurting people and feel guilt real joy and happiness
I would isolate him with no fuel. I would do this because it would drive him insane, which is precisely what he tried to make me.
Wow. Great question, HG. And really thought-provoking. I had to do some real soul-searching to arrive at my answer. The vindictive choices (branded with narcissist, isolation and no fuel, experience the misery) were the most tempting. And I was appalled that I actually considered “a permanent golden period with you.” But in the end, I chose “genuine remorse.” Because that would be the most healing for me. If he actually acknowledged his actions and expressed remorse, maybe I could stop hating.
RecoveringNarcoholic,
I have to admit to briefly considering the permanent golden period also. If it was real, I actually WOULD want that. But, if it’s still like the golden period in that it’s an illusion… hell no.
Exactly, Mary. That “if” makes all the difference.
Ah this one was easy as I know it’s high on your list of fears HG .. isolation & NO fuel .. followed by a very slow excruciating death. Front row seats please . 🙂
Yes!
Since I’ve only been involved with mid-range narcissists (mother included), I haven’t endured the physical harm that sometimes comes with being ensnared with a lessor. Therefore, my choice for the narcissists I’ve been involved with would be to not be a narcissist. I have no desire to see them harmed in anyway, but instead I would want them to experience a life without being chased by the “beast/creature”. A life without having to be constantly on the hunt for fuel, but instead the ability to experience love and life in its purest form.
For the hell and misery me my children my fsmily and friends have and are enduring .
Id like him to burn to death slowly
This is a good one HG.
I want my whole family to know about NPD and know and recognize that my mother and some other members of the family (some of them are already dead) have (had) it. I want all the narcs in my family exposed for what they are and what they do. I want them to lose control and lose their facade. I want them to fall into disgrace.
Unfortunately for me, that is not going to happen because the dynamics in the family are too deep-rooted. But this is what I wish so that is why I voted branded in the forhead. Second would be experience the misery and pain I felt.
OTHER
For them to be spurred to their greatest potential with only positive fuel and to find a healthier outlet for the pain than seeking the negative. They all had potential for greatness and garnered some recognition, but they could have acheived so much more if unburdened by the ongoing transfer of their pain to those who would champion them instead of having the strength to leave it at the feet of those who caused it.
NarcAngel
Very true.
I love that! Perfect. ❤️
“No longer a Narcissist,” although I do believe that is a fairytale ending not based in reality. Can you cure someone who doesn’t want to be cured and has no need of the cure? Can you convert someone who doesn’t recognize what he is? Would the cure also be the death of the Narcissist?
Perhaps the fairytale answer is finding the perfect codependent with unlimited fuel for the Narcissist, but we already know there is no such situation!
I don’t hate my Narcissist and I do wish him well. I know he’ll never change and I want him as far away from me and my life as possible!
Both to stop breathing , so another innocent person never gets hurt again .
I chose “no longer a narcissist.” We are not in contact but I still deeply care about him. I wish him healed and free.
I want him to be able to feel the same pain, confusing, sleepless nights, and thoughts of Suicide, that he caused me!!!
Me too, foolme1time. I wish the narcissist, her coterie, her Lieutenants and all her audience all the psychological pain and all the prolonged physical suffering they have been causing me and other people who do not deserve it either (collateral damage).
(My comments do not get published and they do not appear on moderation either. Now I am posting as a reply to another comment.)
Just wanted to add something: The narcissists’ hate and fury belong to their narcissistic people who raised them and to their partners who enabled the abuse. The narcissists should take it out on them and not on others who have nothing to do with it but most of them are too coward to hate their parents and make them accountable for all the pain and damage they caused.
(I am posting here because my new comments do not get published)
I have felt, at one time or another, all of these towards someone. They were not narcs. They were just assholes that in some way did wrong to me.
I picked the one I did pertaining to you HG. Not to experience emotions per se but for the ability to not have to have the addiction to others for fuel. Everyone should be able to have this.
HG my choice is not there. I believe your kind (more so Greaters), are needed in many situations. My wish is For you not to fear oblivion. I believe this would change behaviors that endorse the need to abuse.
Very good point, Twilight!
Thank you Mary, I don’t see where they have to change, everyone has a problem with the abuse, which I have never agreed with their choices in this, regardless if I understand why. I do know you heal the root cause it will cause a ripple effect, which is the behavior which is the driving force behind the need for fuel.
No changes per say to the person with the exception of some behaviors.
We need them for many reasons, just like we need the empath.
I apologize I am feeling very emotional and talkative today.
Yes Twilight! I agree! I did not vote because I wouldn’t wish to change them. They are here for a reason. They serve a purpose. 💗
What purpose would that be?
All God’s creatures have a purpose. Narcs have their own stories to fulfill, just like we have ours. We have the ability to no longer be a sentence, a paragraph, or a chapter in their book. But they along with us must continue to write.
Peace, love, and hair grease.
Love
Yes I believe there is a purpose for everything, yet over time things became twisted for both the empath and the narcissist.
Twilight…your post really got me thinking and its something ive thought about in the past. Maybe narcissists are needed but we need to guard ourselves against them. Like an animal in the food chain if you make them extinct it disrupts the rest of the ecosystem. Maybe we need evil to see the good. Its unfortunate tho that so many are subjected to the abuse. If we as people could arm ourselves against narcissists their power would be lessened. Narcissistic characteristics do have benefits. As mentioned in other blogs narcissists are able to do certain jobs others wouldnt be able to do.
It is heartbreaking to see what formed a narcissist and thats abuse. In a perfect world itd be good to have narcissists that dont abuse but then theyd not be a narcissist. Maybe someone with more narcissistic traits but not to the extent theyre on the npd spectrum.
Narc Affair
I agree as to it being heartbreaking to fully understand how one is created.
I found it interesting you mention animals in the food chain, we are at the top of that chain.
I see the world in balance, even people. Let’s take a look at HG, he is at the top of his spectrum, do you not believe there is an empath at the top of their spectrum?
I am sure if you put empath and narcissist from the bottom of their spectrum to the top, you would see a balance of things.
I do believe the abuse came over time, one thing lead to another until you have what you do today, this goes for the empath to.
No differences to the sadist and masochist, one like to give one likes to take. Now if these were empaths and narcissist way back in the beginning, all it would take is a slight twist to change things.
I am so far in left field at the moment, but it is something I have pondered for a while.
I selected no longer a narcissist. Since this is a wish scenario, I would wish the same for them as I do everyone…a healthy balance of empath and narc traits which establish a normal, well rounded person.
For them (my husband) to realise how bad his behaviour is and to change.
Hands down no question for me – I’d want them all healed, able to experience empathy with others and to feel joy and real love. You included HG. 😊
I voted for “No longer a narcissist”
I would not wish harm on anyone and remorse seems pointless if they are still a narcissist.
If they were no longer a narcissist then they would probably be remorseful anyway.
Wish they were capable of true love
I wish that he wasn’t a narc.