15 Seductive Love Triangles

fifteen-seductive

 

Our seductive tendrils wrap around the unsuspecting and draw them into our false reality. We have many ways of effecting this seduction, from the outrageous declarations of premature love, to the excessive texting and messaging, from the gifts and attentiveness to the fantastic sex. There are many strings to our bow when it comes to seducing our victims. We love the allure of the triangle. Bringing someone else or something else into the dynamic between you and me generates endless possibilities for fuel, control and manipulation. Triangulation is seen throughout the narcissistic dance and appears more than you may realise at the outset of your relationship with our kind. Of course our most serious and intense seductive techniques are reserved for our intimate partners who become our primary source of fuel, but we triangulate everybody who we wish to draw fuel from. Whether you are a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or someone who is an acquaintance, we will triangulate you in some way.

When triangulation is used in seduction it will be done to portray ourselves as a good and decent person and on the receiving end of some unpleasant and undeserved behaviour from a different source, in order to make you admire us for dealing with this unnecessary attack or provide us with affection to make us feel better or sympathy in respect of our predicament. You are made to think that we are explaining our position and you are made to feel special because we are telling you about something that apparently is troubling us. The reality is that this is being done in order to draw an appropriate reaction from you for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is also designed to make you think that there is something you can do to assist us and help us and therefore gain favour with us through this action .Here are fifteen of these regularly used techniques which may be familiar to you or what you ought to be looking out for.

  1. My wife doesn’t understand me.
  2. My husband has no interest in sex with me anymore.
  3. My children don’t respect me.
  4. My parents expect me to be their full-time carers.
  5. My boss is a tyrant.
  6. My team are incompetent.
  7. My supplier is unreliable.
  8. My neighbour is inconsiderate.
  9. My partner never listens.
  10. My boyfriend spends all of his time with his friends rather than me.
  11. My girlfriend spends all my money.
  12. My friends expect me to be available all of the time.
  13. My partner just doesn’t appreciate what I do.
  14. My girlfriend would rather play Candy Crush than talk to me.
  15. My children never ring me to see how I am.
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11 thoughts on “15 Seductive Love Triangles”

  1. Having such a hard time tonight. I miss the seduction, the hope of a future with him, all the empty promises, fantastic sex. I even miss the devaluation. I have many days when I feel nothing and surprise how I got over him so quickly. But then days like today the memories and immense pain suddenly come flooding back. I still don’t miss him because I know what he is and his devalue discard has hit me too hard that I no longer have any affection for him. But I miss the excessive texting, lies of how special I am to him, how he used to gaze at me during seduction and complimented me, how he somehow knew how to lovingly touch my face or hair or hand and those passionate kisses. I knew even back then they were all lies but I chose to just enjoy it all anyway. Serves me right.

      1. And so can Relate to this so deeply. It felt like the the most enthralling love ever. I described it as visceral. The emotions it seemed were real, it felt right and it felt so wonderful .. and so endearing. I had never had such closeness with anyone. Memories come now and again after nearly a year now, and then you realize it was an act and he was mirroring me. And the whole situation is most unimaginable. Really? I was falling in love with myself? When you continue to ponder you feel quite foolish. I also loved the tender touches that are not usually forthcoming with most men. That sure hand around your waist guiding you. The tender touches of your face and hair as mentioned. There is a lot we miss. We are paying for that now, there is a void and there is a sadness as we mourn that relationship that was as unreal as a fairy tale. There are no happy endings with a narcissist.

    1. I think it becomes more a matter of just missing adult human contact and touch. The former Narc is just our last point of reference for that so you still associate that wanting to him. If someone new were to come along and bring the thrill factor with himself, that would be the last nail in the coffin for the Narc

    2. I felt the same as you until I wrote found out about all the crazy shit he pulled on me before, during and after we lived together. Sure I went mental and done things I’m not proud of … however today I have a long list of what he put me through and a list of HGs answers to my questions….
      Whenever I feel I’m slipping into that mode where you are now I read my lists and then re read all books, and read on this blog … that puts me right back in the saddle again.
      Hang in there … and I know it hurts but it was all an illusion and it was all lies!!!
      Big hug

      1. I needed to read this. Thanks, all. Getting teary even now. I used to cry over anything, like if family/friends are hurt, random story about children suffering, pets are ill, watching an emotional advert, but have never shed a tear over a romantic relationship breakup until now with a greater narc. My mid range ex husband called me a heartless and emotionless b* as I didn’t shed a tear over our divorce. But at least now I know I can “love” someone that much, gives me hope, lesson learnt. As I’m toughening up getting over this, I need to remember that he was just a lesson, not my teacher.

    3. Its so hard and for the first time I feel like this will be the time I never look back. i realized that when I missed him, and sometimes still do, its a biochemical need that has taken place. He rewired my brain and I tell myself that. I tell myselff that if i can get through one more day with no contact, it will be one day closer to my brain re-wiring. its a scientific fact. Watch TV. Call a friend. Use a positive substitute.and it will pass.

  2. I’ll add some more…

    She don’t love my children
    She didn’t want to have sex every day
    She never buy me gifts
    She hates the holidays
    She only talks about work
    She never goes out
    She never cooks or clean the house
    She never pay for anything

    My accountant made a mess out of my finances….

    So….. he basically gave me a list of the things he expected from me… I was fffff stupid ….

    Wonder what was told about me now when I was apparently used in his never ending drama?! Oh well who cares … he is such a drama seeker and idiot …. he will get the life he deserv when she will find out about all the lies and his manipulation.

    And I was stupid enough to forgive him and then hoovered into believing he was indeed a descent person ….

    Day 12… going on day 13….

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