Twenty Deflections of the Lesser Narcissist


The lesser of our kind is a creature of instinctive reactions and knee-jerk responses. In common with all our kind, he or she must always avoid blame and swerve accountability. Denial is often used by the Lesser Narcissist to achieve this with a blunt rejection of the comment that you have levelled against him or her and if you persist you will invariably find yourself on the receiving end of some heated fury in order to beat you down from asking your questions and apportioning blame. The Lesser Narcissist will offer denial with little or no supporting evidence. It is not a topic for discussion any longer. The lesser will also engage in the art of deflection. He or she does not think carefully being launching these phrases and comments in a bid to deflect the nature of your questions and accusations but rather they are an immediate response. Indeed, they will often appear to be raised out of context, appear to be non sequiturs and even almost nonsensical. They are not to the lesser. In his world these are instinctive responses which he or she has to come out with on order to deflect your questioning of them. Your questioning creates unease and discomfort and the lesser will issue these phrases from a stockpile he or she keeps. They lack the higher function to think of a high-calibre response which brings about deflection but instead utilise these phrases below in a “one size fits all” approach. They will be hurled back at you, often with venom attached, a standard response to what you are saying to the Lesser Narcissist. Expect to hear them may times in the course of your dance with the lesser. He is not capable enough of conjuring up new ones and relies on these “old faithfuls” to deflect the force of what you are trying to achieve. The deflection at this level works usually by causing disbelief and confusion on your part. You like everything to make sense. You like things to follow an order and be logical and therefore these stock responses will make you stop in your tracks as you try and figure out either what is actually meant by them or if you understand the thrust of the comment how on earth they are applicable to what the discussion is about. This is the beauty of these deflecting comments for the Lesser Narcissist. He cannot think up clever or articulate responses but he does not need to because there are just as effective in halting you in your tracks. They may not always result in your behaviour being questioned (as is more the hall mark of the deflecting comments of the Mid-Ranger of the Greater Narcissist) which then takes the conversation of discussion in a different direction. These comments however fulfil the aim of stopping the discussion going in the direction it was and indeed cause it to veer off at an improbable tangent into the reams of confusion and bewilderment. That does not matter to the lesser, as long as the attack, the criticism and/or the questioning stops goes elsewhere and his accountability remains unaffected. So long as your response provides him or her with a fuel, the comment need not be magnificent or well-constructed. Here are twenty stock deflecting comments used by Lesser Narcissists.

  1. You’re nothing special yourself you know.
  2. Why do you have to use dictionary words with me? 
  3. I’m not stupid you know. Why do you have to make me out to be stupid?
  4. I don’t care what other people do, they are idiots for thinking that way.
  5. You’ve been reading too many books.
  6. You think you are so clever don’t you?
  7. Why isn’t my dinner ready?
  8. Been listening to her again have we? I can always tell when you to two have been talking.
  9. Can a man not get some peace in his own home?
  10. You sound like your mother.
  11. I’m going out.
  12. Why aren’t you ready?
  13. You should know your place.
  14. You talk too much.
  15. You never listen to me properly.
  16. Never mind me, what have you been up to eh?
  17. I know what you’ve done.
  18. You can’t judge me.
  19. Fancy words don’t make you right you know?
  20. Since when did this house become a court room?

4 thoughts on “Twenty Deflections of the Lesser Narcissist

  1. Anne says:

    Wait, i got one, “what is this? Twenty tweny questions” ya dont have to come in here doing math thinking your smart! Oh i forgot, your a physiologist! Dont get me wrong, i was crushed, abused, hurt, saw rages that where beyond definition! Confused, disgarded! But at least with the lower, if you have any intelligence, it does become humorous to a certain degree! I found myself several times having to dumb myself down so he wouldn’t be offended! Yep, just a stupid. bitch! Make no mistake though boys and girls, when rage hits! It’s scary! Didn’t help he was 6″6 and a ox! I swear sometimes when he did lose it, it shook me out of my skin! Just the look, and the sudden rage, would scare the crap out of anybody! Sad that everyone thinks he’s such a great guy! If they saw what i saw, they wpuld know! But, i don’t worry about it, don’t run to people in his brood! My blood runs to thick, and stubbron is always been a acculaid. It helps, and i think, what in the holly f*** was i thinking. Be careful, they are unpredictable!

  2. Star says:

    My ex has the situation availability to make sure he runs into me often now, in fact it is pretty much unavoidable. The other day I was feeling particularly feisty and agreed to ” talk” . I felt prepared and weaponized after reading HGs material. Sitting down to a coffee in a public place I got straight to the point.” You were abusive to me in every form for many years, tell me about that.” You know to be honest I had a sliver of hope that maybe just maybe he would acknowledge or apologize, but instead it was “awww look at you so pretty, everyone keeps looking over here at us, they can see how amazing we look together.” I repeated ” tell me about your abusive behaviour twards me.” He said”you are only looking at things from your side and perspective. You are only wanting to attack me Hun.if I explained, the way you are you wouldn’t be able to understand because of the way you are and your narrow thinking and small perspective of world view.” I said ” I am quite intelligent.if you explain I would be able to easily comprehend.” He said ” well I did those things because of what you did and were.”
    Me: elaborate please. Elaborate on what I did to deserve the abuse
    Him: well I can’t think of it right now. I can’t remember exactly. I mean how the hell am I supposed to just know off the top of my head? I’ve let it go and forgiven u. I’m willing to try again out of the love in my heart for my U”
    I literally felt nauseous. I said” you are not being accountable for your actions. This will be our last conversation. Ensure you keep your distance from me and my family.Ensure you never happen to ” run into me” again. I will take legal action if I have to.Do I make myself clear?” He looked kinda white and mumbled ” yup”. Ahh I feel good, but I wonder if that was a mistake , if I opened up a whole new can of worms…

  3. Miss Teri says:

    Great Post. Thanks Sir HG Tudor

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

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