Twenty Fuelling Admissions




There are many things that my kind like you to say. We want to hear your praise, your affection, your love and your adoration. We want to hear your anger, your frustration, your upset and your vitriol. You hear words. We hear emotions which fuel us and cause the powering flames to burn fiercer and higher. When you become ensnared by one of our kind, we make you a victim of our range of machinations. As part of this entrapment we aim to have you provide us with fuel and this is done by causing you to say certain things to us. We are obsessed with the concept of our status, our superiority and our power. We must always ensure that you are inferior to us, that we are in control and that you are obedient. If we ever feel that this imbalance is slipping, then we will fight to maintain it. We are the conqueror you are the conquered. In keeping with this need for control and domination, we want you to not only be the victim but ensure that you act as one and portray your status of victimhood at all times in your dealings with us, save when we decide to the contrary. The latter being usually for public appearances and the maintenance of the façade. We want and need to hear you reinstate your designated role. Of course this does not mean that you will declare that you are a victim, using those very words, because when we have you in our grasp you do not realise that you are indeed a victim. Instead we need to hear it through you stating certain phrases which amount to admissions that you are a victim. Understand that when you make these remarks you are fuelling us and also reinforcing the imbalance that exists between you and us.

  1. I am sorry.
  2. I just didn’t think.
  3. I don’t know what I am supposed to do.
  4. I can’t understand what you want.
  5. I can’t take this anymore.
  6. I will do anything for you.
  7. I just want this to work.
  8. I’m not giving up on us.
  9. I deserve better than this.
  10. Why are you doing this?
  11. Please stop.
  12. Please talk to me.
  13. Am I not good enough for you?
  14. Why is it only me that is treated like this?
  15. I just want to be happy.
  16. Tell me what you want from me.
  17. I didn’t realise.
  18. I always put you first.
  19. I want to make you happy.
  20. What’s happened to us?

13 thoughts on “Twenty Fuelling Admissions

  1. K says:

    I missed this one! 1-20 don’t apply to me. But I have a list of things I did say, with the translation in parenthesis, and I will share them with you:

    1. That’s nice. (I don’t give a fuck)
    2. Lemon pledge. (No) that’s from Family Guy
    3. Why don’t you go muff dive your mother. (perform cunnilingus)
    4. Go fuck yourself. (go fuck yourself)
    5. That aint happening. (do it yourself; I am too busy)
    6. Good luck with that. (Have fun cause I am not helping you)
    7. My dick is bigger than your dick. (pussy)

    All delivered fuel free during devaluation or what I refer to as “Hell”.

  2. Lisa says:

    Hello HG, do narcissist realise that in old age they will not be able to keep finding new girlfriends and do they then at a certain age stop discarding due to fear of not finding a replacement?

  3. Tiny Dancer says:

    I’ve never said 14. 1235678 11 17 and 20 said all the time.

  4. Narc affair says:

    Ive said pretty much all of these but im slowly turning the fuel tap off. Itll cause issues but i dont care im tired of going along with everything and feeling used and taken for granted. When i say turn the fuel tap off i mean stop or slow down positive fuel and stop reacting and not give one drop of negative fuel. Ive slowly been doing this already but need to turn the tap more. I can him to feel the changes in fuel like ive felt in our relationship.

  5. Scout says:

    I’m ashamed to admit that I have said then all, usually through fear.

    1. Yes. Through Separation anxiety. And because he was already threatening and intimidating me.

  6. Jody Allen says:

    All 20 have and still do come out of my mouth

  7. I ve said them all. Last week. And now I am getting the silent treatment.

    1. Jody Allen says:

      I want to laugh at your statement, but I don’t want to out of not knowing if you are devastated by your Narc’s ST? If you are, then I am sorry for the torture that you are having to endure.
      Mine went from a 10 day Silent Treatment after I left 2 months ago, to contacting me every couple of days to spew “love” and malign me all in the same sentence. Still not sure if I have had the IGH, but maybe I would recognize it if it was? I have no idea. However, he is being so ridiculous right nothing I have ever seen him do before, and I have witnessed some very odd behavior from this man in our years together.
      I think he is so pissed off because my daughter just had my first grandchild and I have been staying at my Ex-Narc’s home while I am visiting. If he sees one post with me and the baby, I am inundated with text messages accusing me of getting back together with my ex (ex is married and a narc and I have no feelings for him in the least other than he is the father of my children) He will go on and on and on and disrupt my evening with family. Yesterday he went so far as to post on my Facebook wall with underlying accusations and made himself look pretty ridiculous…I did however text him to stroke his ego. Which I shouldn’t have. I am well aware of the fire I am playing with.
      My point is, the lack of and respect for boundaries with these people never ceases to amaze me. I really need to stop playing the game…If yours is giving you the silent treatment, rest assured he will contact you again. I know the ways to shut mine down for a little while so he won’t continuously blow up my phone, maybe you will find the ones that work too, or you could go No Contact.
      Best Wishes~

      1. Dearest Jody Allen!
        Thank you so so very much for this long and informative and helpful answer!
        You are absolutely right, I should gather the Power to go No Contact.
        For the moment, I am dealing quite bravely with the ST. And imagine: yesterday morning and today morning he texted me with the “word” Hhhh on whatsapp…
        Only “Hhhh”. Nothing else.I didn’t respond. So much for examples of ridiculous behaviour…
        Thank you very very much! I wish you all the best!

  8. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I’ve said all of the above minus “Am I not good enough for you?”

    1. Lisa says:

      Hi , do you mind me asking but are you a narcissist ?

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