It is often the case, although not always, that there is a Full Horror Moment that occurs when a victim makes a shocking discovery about the narcissist that they are entangled with. More often than not this arises out of the romantic dynamic, but it will also include familial and less so social or work dynamics.
The Full Horror Moment is when you make a discovery about that person which, in essence, tears apart your world. It occurs when you are not physically present with the individual. It might be you make the discovery following escape or dis-engagement, but more often it occurs whilst the relationship is ongoing. You may have had your suspicions and decide to check the ‘phone of this individual only to find that your seemingly heterosexual partner has been subscribing to gay dating sites, arranging hook-ups with same sex partners and engaging in a way of life unbeknownst to you. Alternatively, it might be an instance where you open some post mistakenly only to find that your husband has a huge credit card bill and this puts you on to a trail of other financial car crashes.
Whilst no less horrific, the FHM is not where you have been punched or raped by the narcissist, kicked out of the home by them or such similar interaction. The FHM covers those discoveries which are made without the narcissist being physically present which have you feeling sick, needing to sit down and sending you reeling.
Do expand in the comments on the circumstances of your FHM, how you made the discovery, was it accidental or did you have suspicions? Did you think the problem was something else only to be totally wrong-footed?
Thank you for participating.