The Narcissistic Truths – No. 137

always-apologising

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12 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 137”

  1. Hmm yea they say sorry and keep repeating the same horrific behavior or yea right they never take responsibility for what they say and do. They just keep getting old and older with themselves. You really can’t dismiss this behavior, when you get that feeling that something is wrong, trust yourself!!!!!

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  2. Ive gotten this a lot from my narc but never from my narc mother. I think this is why he attracted me he does what she’d never do.

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    1. Jenna,

      Yes, all part of the facade. Some will not even offer a fake apology unless they are very low on fuel then they will use it to reel us back in.

      Btw, I hope all is well. I wanted to update you and Indy on DBT treatment.
      I am going to do a 8 week Pre-DBT simplified skills group.

      After successful completion I will start the 6 month Q.U.E.S.T. ( Quality of care, Unity of acceptance and change, Emotion Regulation, Skills building, and Trauma resolution). I am looking forward 1st class next week.

      How’s your trearnent going?

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      1. Yolo, this ‘quest’ program sounds excellent. Thank u for updating us.
        I am on the waiting list for 2 dbt specialists. The wait unfortinately, is four months. My newest counsellor called a dbt specialist herself, as per my request. They said they will contact me but they never did.

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  3. The mid range I knew could text the word “sorry” but now that I think about it……I never actually heard him say it………Diva

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  4. Ah, the ‘S’ word!

    We were walking through town one day when he stopped, looked at me and said with utmost earnest, ” You know, you don’t say “sorry” to me often enough. I need you say “sorry” to me more often, it would make me feel much better ”

    ?!?!?!?!

    I never heard or read s.o.r.r.y. from him in 3 years (one year of email hoovering)

    As I understand it, ‘Sorry’ isn’t just type font. Sorry has 3 components;

    1: saying “sorry”
    2: feeling genuine remorse for the hurt caused
    3: taking concrete actions to make sure it never happens again.

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    1. Mytrueself
      Mine never apologized for anything. To apologize was contrary to his persona. Apologizing would undermine his facade.

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  5. “Hg said it is to manage the facade.”

    … and I apologized to keep the peace, avoid the backlash, or calm his rage. We were both invested in managing the facade. Different motives but the same lack of authenticity. A toxic dance as we two stepped around the beast.

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  6. He was a MASTER at this. Absolutely BRILLIANT! Though my ex husband and mother narcs never apologized, and just covered up with excuses. This is why the apologies were so attractive to me. I believed they were truth from a man wanting to get better and improve from his mistakes.
    He could weave an apology that could move me from my logical state of “I’m not putting up with this BS” to “poor, poor guy. He loves me so and is so sorry”
    ugh.

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