A Letter To The Narcissist – No. 8


Dear Lesser Narcissist,

Remember how wonderful it used to be? How much we were in love. How you treated me like a princess. The romance, flowers, jewelry, and making love. Oh wait you don’t remember. Oh that’s right, none of that ever happened. What really happened?

Let me refresh your memory.

Remember when I was only 13 and you got me pregnant you told me to have an abortion because I was only 5ft2 and 90 pounds and that having a baby would kill me? So I had the abortion. And then I lied to my parents about it.

I felt shame.

Remember when you grabbed me by my neck and choked me unconscious?

Remember when you pointed the gun to my face and then went outside and fired it off?

Remember when you kicked me in the side of the face?

Remember when you would punch holes in the wall?

I felt scared.

Remember when you had sex with me while I was passed out drunk?

I felt violated.

Remember when you were driving and you said “Do you want to die?” And I leaned over and slammed my foot on the gas pedal and jerked the wheel and I said “We are all going to die.” You said “You are fucking crazy.”

Remember when I slashed the tires on my own car?

Remember when I was driving down the street and you kept running your mouth? You kept calling me a sore loser over and over and you wouldn’t stop. So I slammed on the brakes and punched you in the face. You said “Ouch! Have you been working out?” I was laughing and crying.

Remember when I smashed my car into your car? Good Times!

I felt like a crazy person.

Remember when you ripped off those guys and they whipped your ass with a fan belt? I had never seen you cry before.

I felt sorry for you.

Remember when you shared me with your friend because you owed him money?

Remember how we always watched porn?

Remember how tiny your dick was? I do.

Remember when you would tell your friends they could have sex with me if they paid you $20 dollars  then you would get mad at them for saying yes?

Remember how you always accused me of wanting to have sex with other guys, just because I was talking to them?

Remember when I cheated on you? I slept with your brother. Well I have a confession. I slept with both of your brothers.

I felt nothing.

Remember how you still live at home with your mommy?

Remember when I finally left you?

Remember when you try to scare my new boyfriend away and he kicked your ass? So I married him.

Remember when you told me not to push my religious beliefs onto to you? And I said don’t worry because when I die and go to heaven you are the last person I want to see there. I meant it.

Remember how you didn’t want to pay child support, so we had custody battles until our daughter turned 18?

Do you remember?

Well it doesn’t matter anyway. There is no reason to bring up the past.

If I send this it will just cause a hoover and give you fuel. You see I have read some of HG Tudor’s books and he taught me about narcissist. Oh never mind you wouldn’t understand. It is really unfortunate that you became what you are. I forgive you. Don’t think that I am being soft or that I give a crap about you.

I am crazy remember.

Feeling content.

So where is the delete button?


Narcis…. I mean Empath



41 thoughts on “A Letter To The Narcissist – No. 8

  1. arshalys82 says:

    Sorry I need to explain better … Minus the no cheating from me end … My husband will fuck anything with half a pulse … Of course I shouldn’t get mad cuz they don’t hold a candle to me …Umm then why do it ? I guess that logic is way to simple … I’m happy to have found HG Tudor’s work but at the same time I’m not … In all honesty I just rang off this fucking roller coaster … This particular one got to me …

  2. arshalys82 says:

    This one has to be my favorite … Minus the extreme violence, abortions, and the cheating or being sold for money I can relate to the rest of the madness … it was very difficult reading this … it made my stomach turn …

  3. Cordelia says:

    How you endured so much, I am amazed. To brainwash someone so young speaks to the true pathology of the narc’s behavior. You are an amazing woman and I wish you all the best.

  4. Just Me says:

    The fact that you lived to tell such a story, shows your strength. I don’t believe you were crazy, you can’t define normal in a war zone.

  5. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    Your ex disgusts me.

    I enjoyed the part stating how you slept with both brothers! I also love knowing that your husband kicked the shit out of him. Oh and the part about him having a tiny dick.

    But seriously…your ex is such a dirt bag and waste of life. Can someone just like light him on fire? :: hint hint HG feel free to get down with your pyro and arsonist side::

    1. Dr. HQ

      Ha ha ha. That’s funny!

      Or can someone special order the gun in the photo. Send it to the narcissist with instructions.


      You have been chosen as the best of the best narcissist. As a token of our appreciation we would like to present you with the worlds finest empaths. Our empaths are pure, honest, descent and caring. They supply only high quality fuel. Please place this magical NarcOff gun against your head and squeeze trigger to redeem your empath.

      You deserve this!



  6. Rhyming Fun says:

    I liked this letter very much, and actually wished to keep reading more of it even after it ended. There were parts that I did find a bit amusing, and I felt that these parts depicted your inner-strength, despite the gruesome hardships you were going thru. I felt like giving you a “high-five”.

  7. I just want to say thank you to everyone for all your kind remarks.

    And thank you HG.

  8. Daisy says:

    I can’t wait to hear HG’s take on all these letters.

    1. Daisy

      Me too.

      I can’t help but think that maybe the gun in the picture is really meant for me. Maybe if I am going to send a nasty letter to a lesser narcissist I would be better off eating a bullet.
      But from my perspective the gun is for him.

      I’m overthinking it.

  9. K says:

    This was very difficult to read. Your letter contained shades of my ULN but not even close to the violence and torment that you were subjected to. Your account of such horrific and unacceptable abuse is shocking and your experience is unfathomable; my heart goes out to you. Nothing was your fault and you are not crazy. Your glimpse of hell has been impressed upon my memories and I will carry it with me always.

  10. DebbieWolf says:

    Very good letter ILHGT. A good punch in the narc’s guts without much fuel due to successfully moving on.
    Like a good backward kick in the nuts as you walk on and dont look back.
    👊 💥….💪👏

  11. ajo says:

    This was gut wrenching to read. I’m so very sorry she went through this and I hope she gets complete healing.

  12. Leslie Constantino says:

    I was confused reading this and had to reread the title a few times just to see if I were missing something… but it makes sense. It’s the letter waaay after the fact, after you’ve seeded through every moment with your exNarc and you REALLY see all of the bs you allowed, the bs you took… because when it comes down to it, I would have NEVER allowed even 80% of the bs I allowed with him… with anyone else. It’s hard to break through and remember that you aren’t what they tell you that you are. Yes, many narcs are brilliant masterminds… and I’d never even entertain a man with a lesser mind… however I do NOT have to allow anyone to treat me any less than I know I’m worth.
    Now, more than ever I feel like I am that pheonix that rose from the ashes BUT I NOW struggle with that deep seeded “heartless” side that wants me to take what I want, be hateful, be manipulative… be everything a narc is… and it would be so mouth watering easy… I see it just barely dripping down the corner of my mouth… I try catching it with my tongue just to taste its golden, sweet and thirst quenching taste but that is not me… so I wipe that tainted crap of my face and be the light I choose to be.

    ILHGT, I feel your pain and hurt in this letter… I am happy that you moved on in what seems like a much happier life… I hope that this letter helped release much of that deep seeded anger and you are finding peace! 💜

  13. Cathrine says:

    Such a tragic story and such bravery required to tell it. I wish you all well. Lots of hugs

    1. Catherine

      Thank you!


      I actually sent this letter to HG and told him I really wasn’t sure that I wanted to share with anyone else. I was afraid of what others may think. I thought people would think I was the narcissist because of the way I behaved. I left the decision to share up to HG. When he posted it i felt overwhelmed. I didn’t sleep that night.

  14. HG Tudors # 1 fan says:

    Sounds about right.

  15. Peaceful says:

    Dear ILHGT. I’m amazed you didn’t kill him, or yourself. You will certainly have a beautiful place in heaven. He’s going to hell. No chance you’ll meet up with him. Bravo to you for escaping this nightmare. I hope your marriage is a happy and supportive one.

    I think the narc would be slightly amused and gain tons of thought fuel by recounting his misdeeds.

  16. Kim michaud says:

    This is heart wrenching one of my best friends is married to a narc from the same country mine comes from he openly admits he beat her and raped her . he told me he doesn’t care about people to m y face I told her a year ago he’s a lessor narc I even sent her some of HGS YouTube video she wants no part of it . your letter is definitely tragic I’m happy you are free from this person now

  17. narc affair says:

    Weve all experienced varying degrees of abuse but ive come across some severe cases and this one is one of them. Im sorry for the horrific things youve gone thru. As someone mentioned you will never forget but i hope the pain fades and you fine a new strength and healing. Im sure youve suffered ptsd and who wouldnt given the curcumstances. You are very strong to have come out the other side and shared your story ty 💓

  18. ???!! says:

    Terrible what you went through. I’m so sorry you were so abused. May all be restored to you, so you are like brand new. I do have a very good friend who makes brand new.

  19. abrokenwing says:

    Makes you appreciate the mid ranger being a coward and treats you with the silence not with the gun..
    ILHGT – I hope this is all behind you now. You are a true survivor.

    1. analise13 says:

      I thought the same of the midranger abrokenwing.
      I even felt thankful for what I experienced compared to the horrors and excessive physical cruelty of the lesser,
      It is shocking and so very sad.

      1. abrokenwing says:

        My thoughts exactly Analise.
        The abuse comes in many different forms and should never, under any circumstances be tolerated.
        I shared some of my experiences here, which for me were disturbing, but after reading horrible stories about what some people went through I actually consider myself ‘ lucky ‘.

    2. ABW

      “Makes you appreciate the midranger.”

      I actually have been ensnared by one of them as well. He gave me the silent treatment. Now I’m giving him the no contact treatment.

      I am not getting caught up in the drama this time.

      Feels good.

  20. analise13 says:

    So much power and pain.

    This letter allowed the writer to release all that was pent up inside her.
    Her anger, rage, shame, revenge and escape to freedom.

    How long were you in this horrific abusive relationship ?
    Thankfully you are away from all that and in a safe place.

    HG there is such a cross section of emotion and healing in all letters.
    They show where each of us are in our recovery how far we still have to go.

    1. Analise13

      I was in that relationship for 7 years.

      1. analise13 says:

        I❤️HG Tudor, you are very brave and strong to endure such tremendous abuse and survive. I could not be so brave, I think.
        You must be a super empath, the way you fought back and won.
        Your story, though hard to read. Is inspiring.

  21. Erin says:

    These letters are so powerful to read…ILHGT, you went through some really shocking things. It sounds like there was an “Empath Supernova”, out of sheer survival instinct! I’m glad you doing well now and that you sound content. Hopefully your best days are ahead of you, now.
    It’s wonderful to have a place where people can share these letters without providing fuel to their narcissists (I think H.G gets fuel but it’s ok: he earned it and it’s a mutually beneficial situation)
    ILHGT, I really admire how you managed to survive all of that and come out so strong. I think this letter can help give hope to those who are still at the beginning of the healing process.

  22. Windstorm2 says:

    That gun says it all. Impossible to believe, dysfunctional, self-destructive, crazy-making…. I don’t know if it’s you, HG, or a minion that picks these pictures, but whoever it is has a true talent.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do. I describe what the image requires, the minion sources it.

    2. Very talented, indeed.

  23. Lisa says:

    Remember? How could you ever forget any of that? I truly feel for you. Hugs.

  24. Paula Sarno says:

    👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻excellent !! Love it

  25. E says:

    Interesting ending HG. Does that mean we are get some narc traits after being engage with a Narc?!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No. You do not ‘catch’ them – they are there all of the time only they become more pronounced when your empathic traits are eroded.

      1. JC says:

        Interesting… is that because everyone has some narcissistic traits in them or do empaths have more than the norm?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Everybody has them, many empaths have fewer and less strong narcissistic traits, a few have a number of them and moderately strong but their empathic traits outweigh the narcissistic ones (most of the time).

      2. Geminimom says:

        Will her empath traits stay eroded or will she go back to her same empathic traits?
        Also, can you tell if an empath has the awareness of narcissists? And are they a challenge to you or do you stay away from them? In what category would you place them in your life if you were to engage in a relationship?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          The empathic traits will rise once again.
          One can tell in due course if somebody has an awareness. If fuel is low, one would most likely leave them be as the effort to achieve the reward and the need for expeditious rewards means it is not worth it, but usually since fuel levels are decent I relish this as a challenge because invariably they do not know enough about our kind and also the emotional thinking takes over so their knowledge (manifesting as logic) is not heeded.

  26. Tappan Zee says:

    Best yet! As if we can “rate” Tragedy.

    I found this perfect: Remember when you told me not to push my religious beliefs onto to you? And I said don’t worry because when I die and go to heaven you are the last person I want to see there. I meant it.

    So much truth, strength & logic.

    Love. Go you.

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