The Narcissistic Truths – No. 160
84 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 160”
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I love this image.
Today marks 265 days without that guy, Obama. US citizens, rejoice!
indeed
Fake it till you make it….
Yes.
C star, those are the EXACT same words my ex said to me a few months after we became friends. He was explaing that’s what he does because he feels he is anti-social.
Narc Affair,
The parallel I draw with politicians, on both sides of the isle, and our personal narc entanglement is that both are an illusion, both manipulate to confuse, and both are destructive to one’s sovereignty. Who is more destructive depends on the freedoms you hold dear. No contact with our government is impossible, too many spheres of influence and ever-presence… but I am trying grey rock until the empaths go supernova on both Washington and the media.
HG and Just me…ty for your replies. As is everything it is a matter of perspective based on your beliefs and the way you view it. There are a few things about trump i agree with as far as his beliefs go but for the most part i dislike what he stands for and the way he behaves.
I will go further, I would argue that any and every successful, career politician is narcissistic in nature. The system, by design, requires it.
I agree. Most are of our kind – it is easy to appear to care.
Ha, ha! “Sincerity is everything. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.”
Hg, r u implying that obama is a narc too?!
I’m not implying.
No!!! Hg, obama too?! 😫😫😫
What abt ivanka trump, his daughter? I suspect she’s a greater narc. Am i correct?
There is very little emotions your kind can feel, and caring is not one of them. It is easy for your kind to mimic emotions; such as empathy, but it is a false emotion. In reality, narcissist could careless about anyone, but themselves.
Just me…i agree but not all politicians are equally destructive.
That depends on your perspective NA.
I wont get on a political tear bc thats not my style but i feel this presidency is very different from the others.
Narcaffair, i feel the same. I mean when a man says without shame ‘i just wanna grab them by the pu$$y’ you know this presidency will be ummm… different?
Hi jenna…i agree with HG that trump is an upper lesser. He lacks control. He tweets without thinking and opens his mouth too soon. What he said on camera years ago shows who he really is.
That said obama could be just as bad but if he is hes a greater bc hes hidden it well.
Correct.
I would argue that most, if not all, mainstream news is run by narcissists. If not narcs, then people well versed in Alinsky politics… which I find very similar.
I agree with your first sentence.
The narcissist counts on this!
In my opinion you can’t really sum up any narc situation better, than with that particular photo…..in fact it got me thinking that the picture was so apt, that it didn’t even need words for clarification. Maybe as an idea you could post a picture an odd time without words and let the readers come up with a few captions of their own???? You seem to encourage readers insight and input, so it might be interesting to see the different perspectives and reactions to the same photo and I wonder if the different empathic traits would show through within the captions submitted? Just a thought!!!…….Diva
That’s a good idea, Diva. It could be interesting to see our different takes on a pic coming from our different experiences and places in our healing.
Good image.
Good point.
Anyone see how trump threw paper towel rolls at the suffering pple in puerto rico? Disgusting! The media is saying he has no compassion. The media does not realize he has a severe mental disorder, that this goes way beyond having no compassion? ABC, NBC, CNN, Fox News, CBS etc. – pls all read hg tudor’s blog and ur questions will be answered.
I pray for the pple suffering in puerto rico.
Trump even mocked their accent. He also said puerto rico is throwing ‘the budget out of whack’ and that the death poll is not so high. Smh.
What has this country come to? If there are any puerto ricans here, i apologize for his unacceptable behavior. Pls know that he doesn’t represent most of us.
jenna
Trumps behavior is reprehensible. Trump to Puerto Rico: your hurricane isn’t a “real catastrophe like Katrina. Classic downplaying/minimizing and blame shifting (regarding the budget comment) . Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stone Magazine is one of the few reporters who calls him out on his narcissism.
K, yay to matt taibbi! I believe rand paul and ted cruz called him a narc too.
Btw, i feel so bad for melania trump. I feel she is being abused. She seems so frightened when near him 😞
jenna
Do you notice how she sometimes stands apart from him. It seems like their relationship is quite frosty. I don’t get warm and fuzzy from those two at all.
K. I have read/heard psychopathy and narcissism more in the same sentence with Trump than necessary. It is grotesque. So many see, hear, know, witness and are subject to it. The coterie or wtf ever HG would call it also blame shift, gaslight, monkey fly & so forth. I am as appalled and distraught by the staunch refusal to DO anything about it. Him. Et al.
Hi jenna…i totally agree! Trump is a joke as a president. Any other president elected so much more wouldve been done by now and not all this division and drama. I really hope he doesnt get reelected and that by that time there hasnt been too much damage to the country.
I also agree about melania i think shes acting and theres been abuse in that marriage. She always looks angry or serious in pictures bc shes not happy.
Narc Affair
There is abuse in every marriage to a narcissist. Hers would be no different.
Windstorm, pls check out the link i posted when u get a chance:
http://youtu.be/JN9tde-x2nw
Can u relate to this at all, being married to a narc for 30(?) yrs? Have u ever reacted like this in public if one of ur narcs said something to u quietly? 😢
Jenna
I will look for the link later. I am substitute teaching math today – yuck!!!
I have always worked hard to be quiet and visibly supportive for any of my narcs in public. Not out of any fear of retribution, but because I genuinely cared about them and would never publicly undermine their facade. What happened between us in private was solely between us and private.
Now whenever I attend a public function with my ex-husband, I dress especially carefully, smile and try particularly to be happy and supportive. I do this because my exhusband is known to be a hard bastard that no woman would put up with and it amuses me to make people wonder why his exwife would be on his arm, visibly enjoying herself. This seems to amuse him as well and provide him fuel.
Back when I had to live with him, my life would have been too miserable for such games. I imagine if that was my husband up there on stage, I’d have looked a lot like Mrs. Trump.
Windstorm, i see some similarities btwn u and melania – dressing carefully, smiling to preserve his facade, being happy and supportive. The main difference i sense is u do not do it out of fear. U do it for ur own enjoyment. As u said, it ‘amuses’ you. That is a type of freedom, imo. U know exactly what ur getting into, so u won’t have any surprises.
Melania, on the other hand, seems to want her privacy, hence she chose to live in new york rather than the white house. Yet when she must make public appearances, or maybe forced to by trump, she seems fearful.
Your comment helped me increase my understanding. Thank you.
Jenna
You’re welcome. When you’re married to a narcissist, you are trapped in a way. When they want you to do something you are uncomfortable with or fearful of doing, they not only don’t care how you feel and apply inordinate pressure on you, but they are disdainful and ugly about it. From their point of view, not only do you not have the right to refuse, the fact that you would even think of refusing is an affront to them.
Consequently if you are not a narc yourself, you end up often being miserable whether you give in or whether you stand your ground. You often find yourself in a lose-lose situation. Watch the faces of the wives of politicians in the background when their husbands give speeches. You rarely will see happiness. More often it is a stoic determination. Unless they’re newly married, the exception is when they are both narcs like the Clintons and Obamas. Then they’re both putting on a show.
Windstorm, thank you. This is fascinating insight. You are right. The wives of politicians don’t smile in the background. I just thought it is because it is a political event, so no smiling is necessary. I didn’t realize it was associated w narcissism. Obamas are both narcs?! 😱
Hg just told me barack is a narc but michelle too?! 😱😱😱
She seems like a sincere lady😫
Tappan Zee
I completely concur. There was an article in the paper titled “Let psychiatrists talk about Trump’s mental state” that referenced the Goldwater Rule, which forbids an off-hand diagnoses without an examination. The author posits that the APA doesn’t have the authority to forbid psychiatrists the right, as citizens, to opine about Trump’s mental health and he, also, writes that the APA is overstepping its bounds on the right to free speech. You are correct; his coterie is aiding and abetting in the madness.
narc affair
I agree; she looks utterly miserable.
K and narcaffair, check it out:
http://youtu.be/JN9tde-x2nw
Like pakman says, it is ‘soul crushing.’ Leaving frm a narc relationship is so difficult. Pple r not realizing this. Pple r saying she can leave if she chooses, and that she is just a gold digger etc.
As i believe trump is a lesser, he may resort to heated fury if she expresses that she wants to leave him. This was painful to watch and i pray the first lady gets her peace soon.
Jenna
And her son is still young. That’s always a factor. You know he would fight her over the boy.
jenna
I watched the clip and it was sad to see how badly he treated her. If my memory is correct, I read here that Trump is a ULN and he does remind me of my ULN and his family. My MMRN had a much better facade and faked kindness much better than “The Donald”. The way Michelle and Barack greeted each other was a complete one-eighty to the way Trump greeted his wife. Gold digger or not; she should GOSO.
K, seriously. I just felt like giving her a big hug, not that it would do any good, because in private he is probably much worse to her. 😢
The look on her face keeps repeating in my mind, and i cannot help but feel utter pain for her. Yet she stays quiet. She has to, or else, heated fury will be her fate 😢
What kind of heated fury did u suffer with ur ULN K? If it is too triggering, u need not answer.
Jenna
Thank you, I don’t mind answering.
If I was near a wall when I disagreed with my ULN he would punch it over my shoulder or, if we were in the car, he would punch the dashboard. One time his face was all red and was yelling about how he owned my car because he had the transmission repaired, so it belonged to him after that and one winter I was out shoveling and he got in my face and started threatening me, so I called the police, they took him away, I filed a restraining order and went no contact. He was a brute like The Donald.
K, thank u for ur reply.
I’m very sorry you suffered that frm ur ULN. Punching and threatening would be so frightening. Good for u in obtaining a restraining order and going no contact. I hope u will be able to maintain no contact.
Hg, i am wondering if u would consider doing two polls. I would be curious to learn the following frm readers:
1) what type of fury would seem less threatening to them, heated or cold fury, and why?
2) what type of heated fury did they suffer at the hands of their narc, and which heated behavior(s) had the most severe effect on them?
‘What type of cold fury did they suffer?’ may not need to be asked i guess, becoz the choices are so few – absent silent treatment, present silent treatment, ghosting – all have to do with silence lol! Cowardly mids!
Ty.
Hi windstorm…i hope you dont mind me asking and if you do disregard please but why are you still involved with your exhubby? This is in no means a judgement bc i can relate. Nothings black or white in life. Do you still have feelings for him? Or is it more like an old friendship albiet a different form of friendship? Thx
Narc Affair
I don’t mind. It doesn’t make any sense to anyone. He has become over the decades a part of my family. If I cut off all the narcs in my family, I wouldn’t be left with much! 😄
I never had the type of relationship with him that so many of you all had with yours. There was no golden period, no good sex, no illusions. While he lies like he breathes, he never tricked me or pretended he was someone that he wasn’t. I always knew what he was and accepted it as just how men were. While I do love him, it’s more like how I think you’d love a brother (I’m an only child, so I’m not sure). There is zero sexual attraction and nothing on earth would compel me to have sex with him again (burnt and scarred that way too many times). It literally would end in murder/suicide.
He is still very intelligent, highly educated, we have many common interests and he can make great conversation. We have 44 years of shared history, 4 kids and 8 grandkids in common. He understands me probably better than anyone else on earth besides my daughter. I enjoy his company (at least in small doses) and he enjoys mine. We each of us know what the other likes and dislikes and are generally willing to not do things that annoy the other. He is willing to take me out to eat, to the movies, go to concerts and mini vacations with me.
Bottom line: it’s just nice to have a contemporary that both knows and understands me and enjoys my company and spending time with me. There is no addiction. We’ve long crossed the emotional sea, fought our war, declared an armistice and learned to live in peace and harmony, valuing our differences and our similarities.
Hi jenna..ty for that link ill definitely watch it when i get home. Before i knew much about trump in relation to narcissism i noticed his wife in pictures and how miserable she looked. If you look at younger pics of her when she first met him she had a happy go lucky auro. Like night and day.
Windstorm youre right im sure a lot has to do with her son as far as leaving him. Itd be very complex bc he has a lot of money and people on his side. I dont envy her 🙁
Narcaffair, melania seems like such a good mother. It seems she’s very devoted to her son. Like windstorm said, he is only 10 i believe, and i think that is definitely a major factor why she cannot divorce for now. I hope the poor child is not a narc in the making. He never smiles. 😞
Jenna,
That video link of Melania and Trump is visually stunning, as is the verbal barb he threw her way! And to think that the admiration of the thousands before him was not enough fuel that he had to wound her for more! Or perhaps, that act is part of her on-going devaluation… I could feel her shock and pain just by watching her!
He is definitely a Narcissist and because of that, I think he will be a very effective President! I would guess he is an Elite of the Greater or Mid-range schools.
No, UL.
HG,
I must not understand the true nature of an ULN. How could one possibly become the leader of a nation and a highly successful businessman? I wouldn’t think they’d have the restraint or capabilities to accomplish such lofty goals! Of course, his Tweets don’t show any restraint whatsoever!
Kimi, i always value your input, even more so after learning that you are a nurse. Do you know a nurse is like a narc’s dream come true (reference: ‘sitting target’)?! 😅
I know. Poor melania. You ar correct. She may be suffering an ongoing deval. You stated ‘i could feel her shock and pain just by watching her.’ I felt the same. Now i wonder what hg felt, if he watched the beginning of the clip that is. I am assuming he felt nothing. Perhaps he uses opportunities like this to ‘study’ pple’s facial expressions.
But i don’t think trump will make an effective president. He has already made several errors in judgement and thus has not acted as a leader should.
However, i wonder, if trump’s mistakes are just more overt, and obama’s are just more covert. I just learned that obama is a narc too, thx to hg. Thx for the spoiler hg! 😠
Kimi, i read somewhere that u have been sucked back in? Are u referring to ur ex narc? What happened? Is it ok if i ask?
Dear Jenna,
Yes, I now know that Nurses are prime targets for Narcissists! I didn’t know this or that I had ever encountered a Narcissist until viewing and reading HG’s material earlier this year… and I’m 55, raised by a Narc, married to a Narc (15 years), romantically engaged with more Narcs or men with strong Narcissistic traits… It’s been a way of life for me, one which I never questioned until I was callously disengaged by my last Narc. Then came the searching, the learning and finally the awareness. I’m struggling.
I’m currently in the best relationship of my life and the worst. The first with a wonderful talented loving man with Narcissist traits, who offers passion excitement and respect, yet little of his time. I allowed a hoover from the second, my former Somatic LMR Narc and he also offers passion excitement and attention while dominating most of my time. I still love him while even knowing that he cannot reciprocate. The normal relationship moves at a snail’s pace, ebbing and flowing with the tides of time while the relationship with the Narc is dizzying with marked highs and lows, leaving me disoriented and breathless. The latter is what I know and crave. Awareness has allowed me understanding and some ability to manipulate, as I now reside in a Golden Period. The only plan I have is to disappear when the devaluation begins and I know it will.
Dear Lord, poor Melania! I’m sure by her expression that she must recognize the abuse, but I doubt if she realizes the true nature of her husband. As for him, I had some confidence thinking he might be a Greater, but if he is a Lessor with little restraint then it does not bode well for our country! I was surprised by Obama’s status (his, not hers), but shouldn’t have been.
I hope you are well Jenna! I always enjoy your sweet caring presence in the comments!
Hi kimi, thank you for ur reply.
I am glad u finally have awareness as to what u’ve been dealing w in many of ur relationships (non-romantic and romantic). Isn’t it a shame that hg tudor didn’t come along for us years ago? But thank god he did when he did!
Oh i see. U allowed a hoover frm ur somatic mid. I know that feeling too well.
Disappearing b4 deval is an option, if u feel u can do it. Sometimes, by then, we are so emotionally attached, it can be difficult. Pls be guarded and protect ur heart.
Yes i am well enough kimi. Thank u. I also enjoy seeing u on the blog and reading ur comments. 💗
Hi jenna….i watched that clip and had seen it before and it speaks volumes! Not a happy marriage. Hes obviously warned her or insulted her there. I remember watching the apprentice years ago and trump didnt seem as miserable back then or maybe were seeing more behind the mask as time goes on. Its not just her expression to pay attention to its his after he said it and its a look of simmering rage. He looks very angry there.
Narcaffair, i will watch it again to note his expression. I was too focussed on the beautiful first lady.
I do agree it must have been a negative comment, like u suggest maybe a warning or an insult. Sad.
Hg, do u ever warn or insult ur ipps quietly in public? I don’t mean behind closed doors, like during the finger in the cake episode, but out in public, with a look, or by words lipped to her, or something quietly said in her ear to mortify her? If yes, which one of the previously mentioned do u use? Ty.
Yes.
I’d imagine you all do that. Every narc I’ve ever known does on occasion. It’s a show of power in public – hard to resist.
Forgot to mention that in that clip we see the obamas happy but i remember when there were pictures out when the danish prime minister? Was visiting and prez obama was made out to be flirting with her while michelle sat away from them clearly angry. How much of it was orchestrated by the media is questionable. These were pictures tho and not a video you can see played out before your eyes. That said the pressures associated with being in the public eye continually must be very stressful.
Narcaffair, i just googled it. Yes, michelle seems angry while barack takes selfies w the danish pm. But ur right, in pics it’s more difficult to know what the situation might have been. To be fair, i should state that it’s difficult to decipher the situation frm videos too, though one has more visual clues. And ur right, being in the public eye, everything will be monitored.
Jenna
Barack is on my radar for narcissism. I either read/or watched TV interview years ago, it was something about him not helping out/being there for Michelle when their two daughters were babies.
K, it’s just like hg said. They don’t want to help at all, unless there’s something in it for their facade. Sad.
‘Barack’ – we’re both on a first name basis w him! 😂
Now barack will be on my radar too. Oh, and michelle too.
Jenna
Sometimes I refer to him as “Barry”, as if we are friends and go way back.
K, ‘barry’ lol!!!
How abt ‘bart’ or ‘buddy’?!! 😂
(Instead of ‘barack’ for those who r wondering!!)
jenna
I like bart or buddy, however, if I ever bump into him at Harvard I will be sure to use Mr. President.
Hi windstorm…it makes perfect sense to me. I feel the same way about my narc. I cant see my life not having him in it. Hes become a companion and i cringe saying friend bc hes not the sort of friend the definition says friendship is. I enjoy spending time with him and find him fun to be around. The intimate part has been painful and the fact i know hes with other women. Realistically tho he is a single man and i have no right really to expect him to be faithful to only me. My expectations have been lowered dramatically of him. He is what he is and i know theres no magical kingdom with him but its not stopped my feelings for my narc. My feelings have changed from when i met him. I was extremely attracted to him but now after routine devaluments its lost its lustre and now its more of a love. The magical part has long left.
I chuckled bc youre right if you delete every narc from your life especially family then in some cases you may end up with no one. In many situations its better to be without those kinds of people or limit exposure to them. Ive had to do this.
I think its great youre able to stay on friendly terms. Thats a very rare.
Hi jenna…yes the pics of obama and the danish pm were showed to me by my narc as he laughed at how angry michelle looked. He made a big deal out of how obama had the hots for the blonde danish pm. I felt at unease bc back then i knew very little about narcissism but i now understand why this article satisfied him so much and thats bc of negative fuel. Narcs derive pleasure from other peoples struggles and im sure he looks up to other guys who cheat or flirt bc his value system is not right. He on the other hand can be incredibly loving to animals and i know it to not be a facade he really does feel for animals. Why then can he be so ugly in some ways and so loving in others and the only thing i can come up with is what he learned growing up formed how he thinks.
When he commented on michelle i said poor lady she looks upset but he found the ordeal funny. Its moments like that i think wth am i doing with someone like this! It got way way worse once trump was running for election. His narcissism is triggered hugely by anything trump related. He adores trump. I stand by and listen to his rally talk and how perfect trump is and how liberals are sore losers and stay silent. I love him dearly but we are polar opposites 🙁
With the media pictures can be orchestrated to tell a story that may be entirely true. I take it with a grain of salt bc we truely dont know what goes on behind closed doors.
Hi narcaffair, i started this comment but i lost it, so the beginning may have gone thru twice.
U and ur narc do seem like opposites in many ways. It is sad that he was laughing at michelle. So he’s a trump supporter? Oh my!
In all fairness, we don’t know who the baddest bad guy is. All i know is that barack dropped some 26,000 bombs during his last yr in office, which killed innocent civilians too. Trump has already outnumbered that tho. The white house is full of killers.
When Obama appears publicly and stays on camera after a speech you can see his normal expression, then he puts on that big smile of his and it seems very artificial.
Like that thing where politicians point to people in the crowd when they dont really see anyone they know.
Brian, i just watched a video where a former gf of obama’s describes him as ‘distant.’ There is a pic of the two of them. But who knows, it might be photoshopped and the story may be false.
The fake smile that you describe – I’m starting to see the narc traits. Somebody mentioned that in order to hold position for office, being a narc is necessary. Empaths would not be able to drop bombs the way obama did.
Dear HG,
May I be permitted to use this pic on a profile I have on another site?
I’m happy to include your pen name & include the narcsite.com Web address.
Yes.
HG have you watched the tv show black mirror?
Yes, I have.
So very true, and it’s why I ignored every red flag.
Oh HG… no wonder you need fuel. That’s exhausting!
Oops, meant that for the next article. I must say though, this must be exhausting too. I wonder, if you think the next one will be different, aren’t you fooling yourself? You said you tell yourself the new person/relationship/marriage will be different, yet you know you are mirroring that person. You do realize that you will go back to your true self and that is why things don’t work out. You know you are presenting a false self and you will never be happy with someone whom you pretended to be the person of their dreams. Are you commitment phobic even though you present otherwise? Why not stay single and date allot of women like a player?
I do not attach as explained in the article ‘Attachment is the Seat of Misery’.
Or…you just don’t even care.
That’s for sure.
Btw, experiencing blog withdrawal symptoms☹️
So u have ur ex’s yearning for u in ur personal life, and here many of us wait for u too.
Damn narcs! What kind of spell is this?!
But do take ur time. No pressure.