Ex Machina




I wake. I sigh. I wait. I see. I smile. I rise. I look. I notice. I awaken. I observe. I pause. I brush. I spit. I view. I hear. I glance. I surge. I type. I halt. I listen. I note. I grin. I step. I stand. I lather. I rinse. I wipe. I turn. I move. I check. I nod. I collect. I foam. I shave. I clear. I admire. I piss. I flush. I smear. I moisturise. I turn. I catch. I dry. I spray. I dress. I adore. I answer. I speak. I understand. I climb. I descend. I eat. I compliment. I accept. I plan. I consider. I formulate. I read. I zone. I screen. I drink. I kiss. I extract. I gather. I accumulate. I garner. I stockpile. I brush. I check. I rise. I exit. I call. I tease. I plot. I move. I drive. I sing. I cruise. I forge. I advance. I frustrate. I lie. I speed. I overtake. I gesticulate. I rage. I growl. I glower. I overcome. I bristle. I prowl. I dictate. I oversee. I lead. I achieve. I pioneer. I evaluate. I target. I flirt. I chastise. I laugh. I frown. I complete. I direct. I orchestrate. I demand. I secure. I fabricate. I succeed. I triumph. I challenge. I inspire. I decide. I action. I activate. I consume. I quench. I envy. I roar. I rage. I burn. I slash. I throttle. I lash. I denigrate. I belittle. I strike. I wound. I attack. I conquer. I despise. I hate. I overrun. I dominate. I sign. I shake. I clench. I maintain. I read. I assimilate. I conduct. I move. I touch. I preserve. I continue. I subjugate. I exceed. I impress. I frighten. I illuminate. I shine. I blaze. I buy. I offer. I grace. I favour. I entertain. I joke. I outrank. I outflank. I identify. I attract. I bind. I deceive. I con. I dedicate. I pretend. I know. I understand. I grasp. I press. I pull. I remove. I shadow. I lure. I beckon. I bestow. I receive. I evade. I deny. I deflect. I swing. I duck. I blacken. I obscure. I hide. I take. I grab. I have. I remove. I strip. I push. I enter. I thrust. I delight. I lick. I bite. I tug. I caress. I probe. I stroke. I entrance. I hypnotise. I mesmerise. I float. I soar. I smooth. I sooth. I confuse. I defraud. I steal. I distract. I depart. I ignore. I sneer. I calculate. I follow. I invigilate. I guard. I misinform. I perjure. I mislead. I falsify. I construct. I destroy. I tell. I withhold. I reduce. I erode. I cloud. I arrive. I amass. I harbour. I harvest. I pluck. I suck. I drain. I acquire. I takeover. I obliterate. I annihilate. I beat. I overcome. I assure. I ignite. I manipulate. I control. I assuage. I decide. I conclude. I reflect. I dismiss. I ascertain. I point. I click. I review. I tap. I send. I spin. I trap. I block. I unblock. I do. I don’t. I will. I won’t. I can. I cannot. I should. I shouldn’t. I would. I wouldn’t. I did. I didn’t. I oppose. I combine. I bewilder. I daze. I encircle. I defend. I swoop. I revel. I increase. I fume. I snarl. I infuriate. I retaliate. I provoke. I win. I switch. I lower. I triumph. I outsmart. I outreach. I succeed. I delight. I accomplish. I remember. I twist. I turn. I grimace. I scratch. I scrape. I whisper.

I close.

I sleep.

I wake.

I am.

I repeat.

23 thoughts on “Ex Machina

  1. Nicole says:

    HG- As you have mentioned before, there is a lot of inaccurate information about narcissism. I have read that the creature is the narcissist’s damaged true self. I have also read the creature represents the internalized critical narcissistic parent’s voice or even the narcissist’s own critical view internalized. What would you say is the best description of what the creature actually is?

  2. NarcAngel says:

    Excellently broken down and demonstrated HG.

    Also, that pic is perfect. A good looking package with logical machine-like content-sexy AF.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you NA.

  3. Nina says:

    Where is the “Creature” within all this? Surely it must provoke at some point during all of this “I” ness.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Locked away.

  4. Diva says:

    I escaped……Diva

  5. K says:

    This is one of my favorite posts. Narcissists are like machines. They never stop. They are Terminators.

    Last night I was at the local Pub with some friends and a man, who I suspected was a narcissist, bought me a drink and I think he laced it with a Micky Finn. One of my last memories was of him standing over me in the Ladies Room saying, “Don’t worry I am going to take care of you. I am going to put you in my car and take you home and get you in bed.” My last thought before I blacked out: He is a narcissist and I can’t protect myself.

    On a happy note my girlfriend and her husband took me home and I woke up fully clothed. Close call. And now I am fairly certain he is, indeed, a narcissist.

    1. Windstorm2 says:

      That is very scary!!

      1. K says:

        Last time I accept a drink from a suspected narcissist and I was having such a good time, too.

    2. Diva says:

      Hey K…….your story makes me wonder how many other times that creep might have tried that one on some other unsuspecting woman and got away with it. Glad you are ok and that you got away safely…….Diva

      1. K says:

        Thanks Diva
        Who knows how many times he has tried this in the past…his girlfriend recently broke up with him, so he is currently without an IPPS and may be desperate for fuel. I plan on avoiding him in the future. K

  6. Noname says:

    I like the computer game “Machinarium”, its atmosphere, its music. It reminds me of our world. We all are the machines at some point. We all have a certain algorithm of life, habbits. It is absolutely normal, because any system tryes to save the energy and balance itself.

    But, aside of normal machinery, I see the restlessness here. Run, run, run… No pause. No rest. Always forward. Never back. It is because you don’t have a place to come back to, Tudor. You don’t have a “home”. Find it and you’ll see what the soul peace means. It is a divine feeling.

  7. Just Me says:

    I cook. I clean. I serve. I praise. I give. I nurture. I support. I love. I forgive. I forget. I ignore. I pretend. I accept. I excuse. I apologize. I beg. I grovel. I question. I worry. I wonder. I hurt. I anger. I anticipate. I fear. I fuel.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are mirroring again.

  8. Cooking again…?

  9. Lisa says:

    Mind spinning!! Great piece thanks HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  10. JC says:

    Oh HG, this is exhausting. No wonder you need fuel.

  11. Peaceful says:

    Have fun with that! 🙂
    I’m so happy and grateful I’m no longer partaking!

  12. Salome says:

    So boring…
    So empty is your life, dear HG…


    1. HG Tudor says:

      My life is not empty.

  13. Kim michaud says:

    You forgot I come. Sorry couldn’t help it.

    1. Lou says:

      No, Kim Michaud, it is not what you think; he was just preparing the vegetables for diner. 😂

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