Whether you believe in ghosts or not, we certainly behave with certain similar attributes. We appear out of thin air. It is similar to how you can never remember the beginning of a dream can you? You cannot remember quite how we appeared. We just did. We seemed to coalesce into your life with the ease of a ghost walking through a wall. We arrive and ghost into your life. In the same way as seeing a ghost, when you experience us, it is not an event that you will forget in a hurry. We sidle up to you, insert ourselves into your lives and make connection after connection with you as we feed from you. Like some wraith we attach ourselves to you and steadily begin to suck the life force from you as we gorge on the fuel that you provide.

Often we will vanish just as we arrived, without any warning or announcement and try as you might you cannot find us again. It is as if we have disappeared off the face of the earth. Naturally we chose the moment of our vanishing act without any concern for its effect on you. We slip away like a mist evaporating. Once we were everywhere, woven around you and captivating you. Much in the same way as one might be transfixed by the appearance of some spirit. You are entranced by our appearance, there is something ethereal and mysterious about us that causes you to be drawn to us and then we are gone.

We are that elusive spirit that can now not be found. You might go to the same place where we first manifested but there is no sign of us. We have left no footprint, no trace of our existence when you try and seek us out, just like our spectral cousins and then suddenly we have returned. We ghost back into your life and continuing our haunting of you. We are incessant and ever present, drifting about you as we resume our extraction of fuel. We resume our draining of your spirit, leeching it from you as our cold, dead hands take hold of you once again.

People have many theories as to what ghosts are if they indeed exist. Some suggest that where there has been a sudden explosion of emotion, a heightened experience, then an imprint has been made on the fabric of existence. This imprint appears to those who are attuned to seeing it. That imprint is seen doing the same thing over and over again. It walks the same route, passes through the same wall and then vanishes only to appear the next night in the same place. The spirit follows the same routine like a piece of video film stuck in an endless loop. Just like such a ghost we engage in the same behaviours over and over again. The same actions all designed to haunt you as we extract our fuel. The same gestures, the same actions all of which must be replayed. Some believe that a ghost is the soul of someone who has suffered eternal damnation. He or she has been denied entry to heaven or hell and instead has been consigned to walk the earth for eternity, stuck in an unceasing routine. Our endless quest for fuel finds us in such a similar position. We must make our way through life, restless and never finding peace. We move from place to place, unable to rest and be satisfied. Instead we are driven onwards, plagued by the curse of our need for fuel. Thus we must haunt others, our appearance bringing dread and fear in the same way as terror follows the appearance of a spectre.

Unable to quite fit in we are ghost at the feast. Even when we have vanished there is a lingering coldness that strikes you to your core. You still sense us, able to feel the effect of our chilling appearance. You are wary and anxious as you know we will appear once again. Quite when is a mystery but as we first arrived and as we first disappeared we will ghost into your life and continue our haunting of you. Better consult that exorcist.

24 thoughts on “Ghosts

  1. Overthinker says:

    Nice Halloween theme

  2. Antifragile says:

    Ha ha
    Thank you, exorcist!
    Wonderful piece of text in time of Halloween.

  3. Somewhere over the rainbow says:

    Oh, no…no way! Your kind may be scary, indeed (because of the damage you are able to do), but your human appearance is not quite as scary as seeing the evil in my sleep and feel it, my husband woke me up because the whole bed was trembling and got afraid of what could happen. But…you can sleep well, the evil won’t hunt you, your soul is already his, you’re doing his “work=evil” among people, so…Some of us are afraid in this dimension because we might not get ready enough for the next one, some of you…will never completely leave this dimension, will stay stuck in between, because material world is the only “existing” reason you are fully aware of. ๐Ÿ˜‰ If you knew what I know, if the information came to you from the most reliable source you’ve ever met (as it did in my case), you wouldn’t need doctors, fuel or money. Just peace, your soul’s peace. For you’ll never experience the peace you’re not able to experience from this “journey” we all call “life”. You are intelligent enough to understand that if I’m right, you’ll be lost (maybe even ghost, now I understand why UK has so many ghosted places ๐Ÿ˜). In my town was a case for more than a hundred years: a young woman, married to an older and rich man (who “bought” her from her parents, she was poor) kept reappearing to all people buying or living in that house. Those who saw her told others she was not evil, just seemed scared, disoriented. All we find out was that she disappeared one day. As he was very rich and in absence of any evidence, no one would further investigate the “phenomenon” of her disappearance. But her energy/soul wasn’t free. Some years ago, rebuilding something in that house, people found her remains. With justice written down in all papers (his name forever “in shame”, not honorable as before in the town’s history), a prayer and a proper grave, no one felt again her tormented soul. Ghost exist because we are energy, but our body is limited to this dimension, because this is our level of understanding things and getting access to another dimension before being fully prepared means some of us could go insane. We’ll never know if that man is a ghost or in hell (that of a tormented soul, without any escaping chance). I know that many of us prayed for her soul. There are only two ways: you pay it here, or “there”. If one day you’ll be the moral author of a suicide (maybe men’s justice will leave you out of it), but given your intention to harm, you’re not far from the one I wrote about…You may feel like a puppeteer, but if you break (for good) a puppet you aren’t able to create, her lost soul will be on your “paycheck”. ๐Ÿ‘ป If it’s Halloween…”scary story” (still true ones) telling…

  4. Lou says:

    I see, today is special Halloween article edition. Thanks HG!

    I wonder if you are now going through your neighborhood trick-or-treating, or looking for cats to skin for NarcAngel’s new suit.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed it was. No trick or treat for me, I am an adult. Cats have already been addressed. I was engaged in a 7 course taster menu (which also came with some additional snack surprises), the highlights were the monkfish cooked on the bone, the Holstein Friesian and the Verbena ice cream, although it was all well executed. Not a pumpkin in sight. My dining companions were suitably impressed and thus the fuel flowed.

      1. Jenna says:

        Wow! Thx for sharing that hg! I love it when u share bits of ur day to day personal life on the blog!

      2. Overthinker says:

        Where I live monkfish is the food of the peasants people fish for them in our local canals and rivers one of my exes who was a lobster fisherman brought home monkfish 7 days a week lol seriously though it would be nice if u could enjoy a meal and the companionship without trying to impress people in this sense I feel bad for u I can enjoy a cheap meal and a few Margatitas at a Mexican restraraunt and enjoy who I’m with and not give a damn that nobody is impressed or not it’s very refreshing

        1. HG Tudor says:

          That may well be the case but I know they will not cook or present it in the way it was when I dined.

      3. Lou says:

        Sounds like a good menu indeed HG. That verbena ice cream sounds very interesting. I love pumpkin in any possible way (just like sweet potatoes), but especially in soup.

        I imagined you trick or treating your way: burning property, watching the firemen take care of the fire, spilling acid on cars, skinning cats… You know, having your own Halloween party. But I see I was far from reality.

        Glad you had a good time with friends, full of positive fuel.

        PS: if you still need a cat for the suit, you can have my neighbor s. That cat is a bitch

      4. It would be interesting to hear how Halloween was for you as a child.

        The sitting on the floor with siblings afterwards, the inevitable comparisons of who got the most and the best candy, the bartering for candy swaps, the convincing of the least astute sibling that 5 mallo cups is much better than your one reeses cup (blasphomy!)…or the outright taking from the others by the eldest/alpha child.

  5. K says:

    Haunted by a press of ghosts, well, it is Halloween after all.

    Give me something
    Good to eat
    Give me candy
    Give me cake
    Give me something
    Sweet to take!

    Check all your candy before you eat it; beware of chocolate covered love bombs wrapped in gold foil. Happy Halloween everyone!

    1. Jenna says:


      Happy belated halloween to u too! And to hg and all my fellow readers!

      I did trick or treat at the age of 18 lol! I dressed up as a murder victim. It was a last minute decision that day. How stupid was that? I just applied some lipstick coming down frm my mouth and that’s abt it. Everyone asked me ‘what r u supposed to be?’ I felt embarassed saying ‘a murder victim.’ ๐Ÿ˜‚

  6. gabbanzobean says:

    Fitting words. You seem to know how I am feeling today. Some ghosts and spirits are angry too. Ghost-like silence for weeks followed by the sudden wailing of the vitriolic nasty text messages coming through which is akin to wind blowing the curtains, the walls rattling and pictures flying off and objects falling off the counter and so on. Then all is silent again as the spirit disappears.

    I called my mid-range cerebral a ghost once in the way he always disappeared. He didn’t deny it either. He replied “I am sorry, Gabrielle. But I AM a ghost…”

    And yet he does not know what he is. Some of the stuff he says sounds like the stuff you write, HG. If I did not know any better I would say he knows what he is but the rest of his mannerisms prove otherwise.

    I will admit the nasty text messages I had this morning were the most attention I have had in the last 3 weeks. The silence I had before that was most devastating. Looking back now both things sucked equally. Both behaviors of fuel sucking ghosts.

    1. Jenna says:

      Gabs, he finally texted u following ur date? What was contained in the texts? U stated it was negative. Why? U were ever so generous to give urself to him. Were u texting him following the date only to receive silence in return? Could that be the reason for his fury?

      1. Gabrielle says:

        Oh Jenna….I have not updated you have I? Sit back and have some popcorn. LOL.

        After our reunion I had a few text crumbs tossed at me, one being “I cannot believe I was so weak and had sex with you again. I feel so guilty and ashamed. During the months of no contact that we were silent (yes he used the term “no contact” to me lol)….I did not feel as anxious and depressed as I am now. This cannot keep happening!”

        Then….silence. 2 weeks of silence. I tried to call him and he ignored my call. Eventually he finally replied with a text message that said, “I do not want to talk to you today but I can talk to you on Monday”. Infuriating! I replied with “Okay fine. Call me Monday then”. He called me and was polite at first “how are you, what have you been up to, etc.”….and then it became a huge pity party to him. How he cannot look his wife or kid in the eye and how his guilt is destroying him, how he has to drug himself to fall asleep and how he will not see me for my birthday (it was discussed during my visit but not confirmed).

        I then got a mini lecture about how the more I text or call the more it pushes him away. He hates that. Oh but I should not take it personally he is like that with everyone. Then he began talking about a guy friend who texts him all the time and how he can’t stand it. Finally the call ended by him proclaiming he was determined to “do the right thing”.

        Anyway, fast forward to later that evening. All I could hear was “do the right thing” stuck in my head and it was infuriating me so I emailed him. I sent him

      2. Gabrielle says:

        Ahhh crap sorry I hit send too soon….okay rest of the story below.

        I emailed him the web links to his profiles on the sex/fetish/hook-up websites that I found online. I was polite about it too. I said “I am sending this because I am concerned for you. If you want to ‘do the right thing’ you should remove these profiles”.

        The next morning I was subjected to a slew of nasty texts and got into an argument with him. He told me that my feelings were unhealthy and I needed therapy. He said the only reason he has not “cut the cord” with me was because he felt sorry for me and pitied me and knows how lonely I am. He actually used the word “empathize”. He said “my empathy continues to keep me here talking to you because I feel sorry for you”. He then told me that I am clinging onto to nothing and that he does not love me (contradictory from the times he used to say he loved me). He also referred to me as a “fling”. (prior he used to always say “we are more than just a fling”).

        I told him if he used me for sex that is very hurtful. He got mad at that reminded me again how he “risked it all” sneaking behind his wife’s back to see me (since she controls everything he does) and said “I did not use you for sex” (OMG isn’t that what a FLING is you idiot???!!!!) He says “I could pay a hooker to get me off and it would be way less stressful than dealing with you!” (ouch)

        I then got a lecture of “you need to realize that people can have sex and not love someone”, Then it went into how he knows that is a hypocritical attitude but sexuality is his drug and his “morality” is trying to win over his “biology”. He said if he ever sees me in private that he cannot resist having sex with me therefore he says he won’t see me. He then said “the perception you have of me in your head is NOT REAL. The perception you have of us is NOT REAL”.

        There was a bunch of other nasty stuff in there too but above is the general gist of it.

        Oh and not once did he bring up the profile links that I sent him. Not once. He acted as if I never even shared that info with him.

        The texts eventually whittled down and now it is another bout of silence. I will admit very rarely have we ever argued. This was maybe the 3rd time over the entire 20 months. Most of the time I would get silence. I am going to just assume that my tipping him off of the profiles and suggesting “remove these if you want to do the right thing” wounded him? Especially after his continued song and dance of “I feel so guilty and want to do the right thing”.

        Yeah the F you do, Mr. Piano recital at church.

        I did use the God line on him that you shared here from what you said to your Narc. I told him “When you face God someday I hope you will know how much you have hurt me”. After I sent that his nasty texts stopped.

        1. Jenna says:


          The nerve of him! He says he feels all guilty, and when u finally confront him abt the profiles, he deflects, blame shifts, condescends, etc. Finally, u r seeing his fury. More of his narc traits are evident. He is giving himself away as the jerk he is.

          This must have been hard for u. U r seeing a side of him u have not seen b4. We are here for u.

          Take it as a blessing in disguise. He hath revealed the true self. No more wondering why he’s so nice. I’d say time to celebrate his coming out!๐ŸŽŠ

          1. gabbanzobean says:

            You do have a point about the fury. It only took 20 freaking months! Not including the 7 months of being a casual acquaintance before that which was before the love bombing began. When I say 20 months that is when the love bombing started.

            The “fury” was also via text. He was pleasant mannered on the phone despite his “woe is me” bullcrap. I would hate to see fury in person.

            Do you think me uncovering the profiles wounded him? He didn’t take the profiles down either they are still up. LOL. Or are those sort of things the things that stay online forever?

            I am trying my best not to overthink his texts but he gave reference to the fact that he could hire a hooker to “get him off”… was that on the tail end of me uncovering sex profiles? I mean hook up sites are no different than a hooker other than the fact that the hooker is a stranger you end up giving money to.

            The way he compartmentalizes I am sure in another week he will not even recall what happened and will be pleasant should we speak again.

            I am still debating testing the waters in a few weeks to see how he acts. I am even tempted to mention the profiles again. I wanted to call him out on it while he was nastily texting me but I lost my nerve!!!

            Yeah I know I need to be slapped. I know I should not, but I still want to. Ugh ugh ugh!

          2. Jenna says:

            Hi gabs,

            U criticized him, thus u wounded him. I am surprised he didn’t take the profiles down yet. Maybe he will soon. My ex took them down immediately.

            U r correct. Those sites are like having sex w a prostitute except u don’t pay. Or maybe the women end up charging? Idk.

            He will compartmentalize and he will be pleasant when/if u speak again, unless u continue to criticize him abt the sites. In my case, i criticized ex narc repeatedly for a few wks. I said that if he can have sex w strangers on the sites, then he can have sex w any female, and that he is even a danger to underaged girls (which is not true but i was so angry that i wanted to say it). He would never have sex w an underage girl. I also informed two of his niss’s abt the profiles. He could not handle all of this, and became severely depressed and suicidal. It was also after my escape. I somewhat regret informing the niss’s, after discovering he’s a narc and has suffered childhood abuse of some kind. But the positive outcome is that it prompted him to change.

            I feel it takes exposure for some narcs to change. Since u do not wish to inform his wife abt the websites, there is no chance of him becoming depressed out of shame and thus attempting to change. Exposure and shame is the biggest weapon against the narc.

            At least u should mention the profiles again IF u have contact. It is ur right. U need to tell him how wrong his behavior is. Then i think u should dump him. I dumped mine, but we are now friends (text only initiated by him) only because he expressed remorse repeatedly and has changed his behavior. The remorse is fake since he’s a narc, but at least he cognitively knows what he did is wrong.

      3. abrokenwing says:


        Reading about what he did and said to you makes me really..really angry.๐Ÿ˜ก
        He is pathetic.

      4. K says:

        Corrective devaluation, perhaps.

    2. Twilight says:


      Have you read HGs book Exorcism? If you havenโ€™t I would highly suggest it.
      First thou you need to jump and cut the ties. No Contact is the only way to go. If not you will stay on the merry go round from hell. Which at this point is a choice you are making, you hold the power to be happy or miserable.
      Emotional thinking sucks ass and is the biggest con artist here and works in their favour.

      I do apologise if I am coming across insensitive, I do care.

      1. gabbanzobean says:

        Twilight, I know you care. Right now I am torn between ignoring him and reaching out again. I really have a need to poke the bear again and bring up the sex site profiles. I wanted to bring it up during his texts but I lost my nerve! Ugh.

        1. Twilight says:


          You are choosing to stay on the merry go round from hell.

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