Little Acons – No. 15

THIS IS MY HOUSE

26 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 15

  1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    One of the many reasons I have never lived with a boyfriend and a piece of why I never lived with my ex.

  2. Super Empath says:

    K:

    Thanks that was kind.

    I really appreciate your comment. It was way worse than I mentioned, but that’s the past and I’ve moved on from it.

    It’s been years since I went NC with my entire family (father, mother, brother and sister), as they are all nothing but a cesspool of evil miserable narcs (of one form or another).

    I just thank God, for whatever reason, he decided to pluck me out of the entire despicable bunch, protect me and turn me into what I am.

    Now I must get rid of my current MRN husband. I’m hoping the divorce is over soon as I plan to crush him and then disappear. He’s going to pay for all his misdeeds, with two counts of forgery (that I know of-I’m sure there are more) being in the forefront. He’s one nasty evil peace of work and his day of reckoning has finally come. I am going to dismantle his very existence.

    Karma’s knocking on his door!

    Via HG’s site, I have gained valuable knowledge, insight and wisdom to finally understand all that has gone on in my past and present. Now I can say 2 + 2 = 4, not seven, as those trying to destroy me tried to make me believe.

    I have been enlightened.

    1. K says:

      Super Empath
      I understand what you mean by: “It was way worse than I mentioned”, and, like you, I have moved on. I am no contact with my mother, brother and sister except for the occasional parental/letterbox hoover. My father died in 2010; thank God. My family is despicable, miserable and evil like yours. Good luck with your MRN and divorce; hopefully with the knowledge you have gained here, you will be able to weather that storm safely. I couldn’t agree with you more, the wisdom and insight here is priceless; we have been enlightened and are better off for it.

      1. Super Empath says:

        K:

        I’m sorry for your own situation. It seems like there are ‘wounded birds,’ everywhere!

        I get the (maybe sometimes) Birthday card or Christmas Card from my mother, but I have someone else write ‘return to sender.’ I don’t even want to give her the satisfaction of seeing my own handwriting.

        Had I not accidently found this site, I’m positive I would still be floundering about in a constant state of confusion. Trying to figure out what happened both in my past and present.

        It’s like a huge beacon of light turned on and everything is all starting to fall in place and make sense. You know like 2 + 2 (does) = 4, not 7!

        HG’s site is a Godsend!

        1. K says:

          Super Empath
          I found HG on YouTube and I remember thinking: This dude knows what he is talking about. There is no other place like this; it truly is a Godsend. 2 + 2 = 4 here, but not in the world of our MRNs. 2 + 2 equals whatever they want it to equal in their world, and every day the answer changes.

  3. MyTrueSelf says:

    “This is MY house and while you’re in MY house you follow MY rules”

    I had that over and over again from my mother my entire upbringing. I loathed every second of living with her and couldn’t wait to get out. At the age of 18, one week after I graduated, I got a job and left not only the damn house but also the country. I had to get away as fast I could, go as far as I could and I managed to keep it that way.

    1. Super Empath says:

      MyTrueSelf:

      Oh snap!

      You just evoked memories deep down inside me. I too heard those things ALL THE TIME from my parental units.

      This is my/our house, I/we pay the bills and as long as you are here you will abide by our rules without question. Now about those rules, those were never clear, what was yesterday, or even an hour ago, no longer applied. They changed often, without notice and it didn’t matter most made no sense.

      Early on, as a survival mechanism, I started to compartmentalize what was happening. When I was home I would hardly speak unless I was spoken to and my responses were only short and brief. I would ask permission to do whatever I wanted/needed to do, just to ensure I didn’t get ensnared in accidently breaking ‘one of the new rules.’

      I didn’t always escape their wrath, beatings, smacking, kicking, hitting, tobacco sauce in the mouth and/or soap, screeching, hollering, lectures, etc.………..as I was their SCAPEGOAT!!

      1. K says:

        Super Empath
        Sorry! That was horrible to read. No child should suffer like you did. That was appalling.

  4. Sillyolperson says:

    Dear Mr Tudor,

    That’s the whole problem …. it was only a house

    Never a home

  5. narc affair says:

    I got this from my mum a lot while attending university she pressured me to work and pay rent. I think setting me up for failure.

  6. sarabella says:

    Yes. My mother. My whole life. Nothing was mine. I was an eternal guest. Our “home” was a house to me.

    1. Windstorm2 says:

      Sarabella
      Mine alway said,
      “This is my house, not yours. I worked hard for it. When youre grown, then you can work and earn your own house.”
      Was rough when I was little, but then I just accepted it.

  7. Sniglet says:

    D’accord!

  8. Lori says:

    W2, I moved out at the age of 18 and lived alone in my own apartment soon after. As an empath with a narcissistic mother I learned early on how to be independent and rely solely on myself.

    And it’s funny, but my door is open to most anyone. My own home is warm and inviting (people tell me so all the time) .. and yet the only person I did not trust in my home while I was not there was my exN fiancé. I knew he would go through my personal things and look for anything to use against me to accuse me. He would find the most innocent information on my desk and create his own story sordid story about it. I learned later that it was b/c he was doing the things he wanted to accuse me of. His way of deflecting. Ugh ~ I’m glad I’m out of it, but I still miss the tender moments we had… and the sex – good Lord the sex !! I guess I’m still in the tender phase of withdrawal. Pray for me ~ ha-ha !

    1. Super Empath says:

      Lori:

      I will add you to my pray list to assist you in gaining further knowledge and maintaining the strength to keep him away. Keep in mind, a few moments of pleasure is not worth all the other crap.

      Hug yourself darling and just be free.

    2. Windstorm2 says:

      I will pray for you Lori! I never have had the good sex so many speak of. Not sure if that’s good or bad. At least I’ve never had to miss losing it! Lol!!

      You are much braver and more confident than me. My mother did everything and made sure I had zero autonomy growing up. Everything I ever tried to do was wrong so she’d have to do it herself. I was told repeatedly that I was incompetent and incapable no matter the task. Certainly didn’t foster any self confidence in me, but it made me desperate to escape.

  9. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I would have been sent off to boot camp if my parents said that to me because I would have thrown a fit.

  10. Windstorm2 says:

    So you must obey my rules if you expect to live here!! – Why I moved out at 15.

    1. Super Empath says:

      Windstorm2:

      WOW, age 15, bravo my dear you are so brave. You must be something very special.

      Regards,
      SE

      1. Windstorm2 says:

        Super Empath
        Oh no. I’m not brave at all. Quite the opposite. When my mother realized I was seriously planning to leave and not return, she let me move into a small rental house she owned. Gave me enough autonomy, yet let her keep an eye on me.

        If she hadn’t done that, I’d have probably gotten married at 16 instead of just engaged. I am forever grateful for that. She also did the paperwork so I could get a 4 year scholarship to college and a monthly payment until I was 18 from social security since my father was a disabled veteran. In many ways she made my life hell, but financially she always came thru. Even now I couldn’t have taken early retirement except for my inheritance when she died.

    2. Twilight says:

      Windstorm2

      I was force to leave at 16, right after I graduate because I didn’t do as I was told.
      I stood up for a life….when she decided my inheritance was to be used to control me I told her she could burn it for all I cared I would never take anything from them because then they would own me.
      Stubborn to a fault I am

      1. Windstorm2 says:

        Twilight
        Wooo! That was the only benefit in being the only child of two narcs for me was the inheritance! If I’d walked away and lost that, I’d have felt that she had won, especially if she kept me from getting my part of my father’s family farm.
        Hope you haven’t had regrets!

      2. Super Empath says:

        Twilight:

        Good for you, as money doesn’t buy happiness. And, who knows in the end, you probably would have been written out as her one last attempt to hurt you.

        After I escaped off to college, I can remember my parental units continually threatening me, “If you do ‘whatever,’ that’s it we are writing you out of the will.” My response was always, ok whatever you think best.

        I too walked away from a sizeable inheritance, but to me, I didn’t care, I considered it ‘blood money.’ My own blood.

        Since my father’s passing, I don’t have hard facts in hand, but I know in my heart she’s re-written the will and I’m not in it — I expect it.

        When I visited my father on his death bed, I had some items in their safe and asked my mother if she would retrieve them for me. To date, she has not returned them to me – so yea I do know she has contempt in her heart.

        They were both narcs, as were my other two siblings.

  11. Super Empath says:

    Oh brother, I’ve heard that so many times, I could throw up. When I wouldn’t let in him the house when he was raging and had to call the cops, he was outside the house barking the exact same thing. Ugggggggggggg

  12. thepianist20 says:

    – “This is MY house!! I paid 5 lakh rupees for this house!” (Guilt trip)

    – “This is my house and YOU do what I tell you to do! You hear?!”

    – “This is my house, you should listen to mummy!”

    – “This is my house and you treat me badly!” (Blame shifting)

    – “This is NOT my house, this is yours and Papa’s house! *sarcastic*” (guilt tripping)

    – “This is my house and if you don’t listen to me! I’ll call MY mother!” (Flying monkey fest #1)

    – “This is my house but you don’t listen to whatever I say, so you must be devil possessed!
    I’m bringing the pastor to pray for you (manipulate you) tomorrow!!” (Guilt trip + flying monkey fest #2)

  13. K says:

    My ULN threatened to throw me out of the house; it didn’t work.

    Today is All Soul’s Day and my new soul is made out of graphene and has all these lovely properties:

    It is ultra-light yet immensely tough.
    It is 200 times stronger than steel, but it is incredibly flexible.
    It is the thinnest material possible as well as being transparent.
    It is a superb conductor and can act as a perfect barrier – not even helium can pass through it.

    Now that I have a new heart & soul things are looking up.

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