The Super Empath



It is well known that our kind target those who have empathic traits. Just like those of my persuasion operate on a spectrum, those who exhibit empathy do so as well. There are those we might regard as the “normals” those people who have some narcissistic traits and some empathic traits. As ever, when I use the words empathic and empathetic I state them with reference to certain traits such as empathy (clearly), honesty, kindness, decency and such like. I do not use the words in the sense of being in tune with the world and the environment. The normal are in the centre, possibly leaning one way towards my kind or the other way towards your kind. It is extremely rare for a normal to be ensnared as primary source because put simply, they do not cut the mustard. Their emotional responses are not sufficient, their empathic traits whilst evident are not sufficient to either bind to us or provide us with the fuel that we need. Such a person would easily pass a homeless person begging, a person crying alone on a bench or somebody who had fallen off their bike and injured themselves. They are self-absorbed but not to the degree that our kind is. They will help if they really have to, but they do not go out of their way to act in a way that causes harm to anybody else.

Thereafter come those who are empaths. Empaths are always targeted as primary sources. They often fulfil secondary roles as well. They are rarer in a tertiary source position since if they are an empath, they would be better suited to either being a primary or secondary source. We would not want those empathic traits to go to waste. The empath has a good range of empathic traits those of honesty, decency, having a strong moral compass and being a good listener, just to list a few of them. They may not have all of the empathic traits that we look for, but they will have several and exhibit them in a concentrated form. Thus this person would look to donate to a charity, hand a wallet in that was found in the street, help a stranger who is in distress, sit and listen to somebody who has problems and acts of a similar nature.

Next comes the Super Empath. This person is not a co-dependent. Both the Super Empath and the co-dependent have many, if not all of the empathic traits that we look for and they have them to a stronger degree than the empath. For example, both might take the homeless person under their wing and take them to a shelter, maybe even house them themselves for a period of time. They would try and locate the person who had lost their wallet in order to hand it back in person rather than say hand it in at a police station first. They will listen to the person with problems and then offer practical solutions to resolve those difficulties. The co-dependent gains validation from such acts through giving and has to do this to an excessive degree even when it goes beyond what is good for themselves, such is their inherent addiction to the act of giving and selflessness. The co-dependent may not actually be that strong an individual (they are in the sense of the abuse that they can soak up) but they are not strong as they have no identity to assert, they must form one through self-flagellation, giving and not taking. They are masochistic in nature, driving themselves to the point of collapse and illness because they lack the strength to escape and the desire to do so from the clutches of our kind. Lesser Narcissists and Mid-Range Narcissists hook up with co-dependents especially because they give, give and give but do not fight back. They challenge themselves, blame themselves and always make excuses for their abuser.

The Super Empath is also a giver but whereas the co-dependent is masochistic in this giving, the Super Empath does so from a position of strength. They hold their ability to empathise, to heal, to fix and impart goodness as a great gift and one which ought not to be abused. They are drawn to our kind less because of the co-dependent’s need to seek validation of identity through a narcissist, but more because they are initially attracted to the apparent emotional output of the narcissist. The false strength which the narcissist exhibits at the outset of the seduction, the confidence, the apparent satisfaction with his self, that he appears comfortable in his own skin, at ease with others, capable of lighting up a room and so forth is a huge attraction to the Super Empath because that person actually sees something of themselves in the narcissist when the narcissist is seducing. That is not to state that the Super Empath is a narcissist. Far from it. But the Super Empath is just as engaging as the narcissist and thus there is a mutual attraction. The Super Empath is also more challenging to the narcissist and therefore is usually the recipient of some Mid-Range narcissists and most often the Greater Narcissist. This is not because the Super Empath is awkward or reticent but rather she will be forthcoming with her empathic traits once she feels that they have been earned. Accordingly, the narcissist must put the extra miles in, in terms of seduction to ensnare the Super Empath. This person needs to be coerced into sharing the fruits of their empathy but once that trust has been earned, once the gate has been unlocked the benefits are huge. The Super Empath shines with empathy, glows with decency and pours forth delicious fuel.

This continues during devaluation. The empath and co-dependent are easier to “break” in terms of causing negative fuel to flow. The Super Empath is made of sterner material and will resist the negative machinations of the narcissist at first. This may result in the narcissist dis-engaging if he does not feel able to impact on the Super Empath and seeking fuel elsewhere. The Greater knows who he has ensnared and knows once again he must unlock the fuel source, this time negative, of the Super Empath and once it is done the tidal wave of fuel is to be enjoyed. The Super Empath will remain, wanting to fix the narcissist, exhibiting again the same empathic traits of others on the empathic spectrum, but again being made of sterner stuff, their descent towards numbness and malfunction is far slower than that of the empath. The Super Empath will keep providing the fuel but deteriorates at a slower rate. The risk factor however with a Super Empath is that their own personal integrity is greater than the empath’s and very much greater than that of the co-dependent and consequently of all these three classes of empath, the Super Empath is the one more likely to make a bid for escape and thus leave the narcissist with a cessation problem.

The challenge of unlocking both positive and negative fuel proves an attraction for the right type of narcissist because this allows him to assert his superiority and enjoy the challenge. The reward is magnificent. Excellent fuel and such that deteriorates at a much slower rate. The downside is the potential for the Super Empath becoming “aware” of what is happening, becoming unwilling to dedicate further energy to staying with the narcissist to fix and to heal and thus escaping. The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted.


150 thoughts on “The Super Empath”

      1. If you are a co-dependent you do not have the traits of the super empath and you do not create those traits through healing, therefore you do not become one.

    1. I think theres a bit of codependancy issues in all victims whether theyre super empaths or even narcissists for that matter. The issue is within them that makes them vulnerable as a target. There is something crucial missing and it makes them put up with what others would normally not put up with.

      1. The term ‘codependent’ is quite a turbid one.
        To come to the common exact definition is needed…

        Because, yes, to some points of view, narcissist is also codependent in mutually dependent relations with codependent empath.
        Or it can be just definition of somebody normal, who can not live (bored) another way than with narcissistic person.
        But codependents contain not only the normals, but all the range – inverted narcs are definitely codependents for example…

      2. Ah there is Codependent book by HG, but i’m still waiting for it, the delivery to my part of the world is long, so can not check the term there yet…

      3. Hi narc affair, I agree with you. Because of internalised abuse in early years I think we are all to some degree co-dependents. We put up with the abuse, maybe even mistaking the lows as necessary for the highs because that’s all we know. I don’t really know what kind of an empath I am. I do know that I tend to have no protective layer towards the world and life at large sometimes, but there are also situations and people that I can’t bring myself to feel the slightest empathy for. I just shut myself off at times coming across as almost cold.
        I think I might lean towards co-dependency in the wrong kind of relationship though, even though I consider myself to be quite strong, self assertive, and accomplished otherwise. I just loose sight of myself in that kind of toxic environment, probably being brought back to a childhood time where I wasn’t allowed any boundaries at all, and where love meant being controlled and subjected to pain, guilt and shame all the time.
        How is it for you?

      4. Hi antifragile and Catherine…ty for your thoughts. This is a core belief i hold. Codependant and independant imo are two different things. You can be very independant have a successful career and support yourself and still be codependant. If a person wasnt reliant on another in some capacity why would they put up with abuse? You can say bc they wanted to heal them or help them but theres codependants that get their fix from doing that as well. The fixer or healer. Ultimately it stems from the same vulnerability…lack of self love and need of validation that they matter in some form.

        Hi Catherine for me it was similiar. I grew up not really being heard or validated. Ive read the stories on here and my childhood was not near as bad as others but it still had an impact where i struggle to feel visible or worthy. My narc has made me feel so special but in a heartbeat not special at all. Ive been codependant on what hes given me that i havent had in my marriage and also from my mother. Its taken a lot to be able to see this thanks mainly to this blog and HGs works. Now that i see it i need to try and fill my own codependant gaps in myself. Its definitely not easy but neither is being in the narc cycle.

      5. Also there are empaths out there that will not put up with abuse and have strong boundaries so what sets them apart from empaths that stay or disengage and then go back to the abuse? A super empath will go back so theyre not super at all until they fix whats wrong with them inside. Its vulnerability and codependant issues imo.

      6. narc affair

        I have been thinking more about co-dependent behavior and my behavior, and I am not an expert, but now that I know about NPD I will avoid these types of individuals as much as possible. I am single and very happy and I am not looking for a romantic relationship at all.

      7. When i think super empath i think of an empath who has educated themselves and know what they do and dont want in their life. They dont go back to abusive individuals they gravitate towards healthy people who respect their boundaries.
        This super empath i think of as a super “fuel” empath. Someone whose still dysfunctioned and keeps coming back for more abuse. That is weakness not strength.

      8. They have their fix, totally agree, NA!
        But what if they have more upside than loss? What if gain is overweights?..

        If for example due to parental family dynamics the only way to have love – is to have it with narc? Then what is better: to have and lose, or not to have it at all?
        For me it is an open question – the my last experience I would never give away, if I had choice to return to the past and decide. (Ironically, it was almost my first phrase to him – “wow, if I met this you ten years ago, I would never let you go”).

        All people who consciously and repeatedly drawn to narcissists are not just normals and empaths. That are people who came from narcissistic families, with no another way of communication known…
        I’m searching for the way to break the chains and come to normal world now … it’s not an easy task.)

  1. Lol I just wanted to say just as I thought a narcissist was somebody who spent too much time looking in the mirror and grooming themselves I also thought an empath was somebody with psychic and /or clairvoyant abilities prior to discovering ur YouTube and blog.still don’t know what I am because I have traits of a normal a narcissist an empath a super empath and a codependent .I never and I mean never ever homeless people. I am somewhat masochistic in relationships especially in bed but I never let him break me emotionally.I can have tremendous empathy in some situations and have zero percent empathy in other situations.some situations trigger enormous amounts of sympathy to the point I feel that persons pain and can think of nothing else other times I feel nothing but disgust for certain people. I think I am a hybrid empathic narcissist lol

    1. “enormous amounts of sympathy to the point I feel that persons pain and can think of nothing else other times I feel nothing but disgust for certain people”

      Have you tried a border dress?…
      This sounds as a very “bordery” description. They are definitely people with some (but not many) narc traits, while highly sensitive and empathic, feeling others (or even artificial, film) pain to a highest level, as their own, with long bad mood afterwards. People without emotional skin.
      As for disgust… If it happens after these people have criticized you, for example, – that’s typically how I “paint black” and then devalue people. if If it is sudden disgust – totally can subscribe under this description.

      There are great amount of borders around the narcissists. Same family ‘language’.
      Amazing that borders are so rarely mentioned in comments here – must be a big per cent of them here.

      1. My therapist and several others have confirmed to me I’m not borderline .I know for myself I don’t paint people black or white. The disgust I feel is when some people lose their children due to drug abuse and then want sympathy I know its a disease but I can’t sympathize with them due to my father being an alcholic I’ve never felt disgust for someone because they criticized me its usually because I feel they made terrible choices

      2. Got it. I’m sorry if you dislike the idea – I thought later I shouldn’t post it.
        I understood that this concept do not help you. With me was vise versa.

        I just think that border condition is underestimated. And underdiagnosed.
        Two doctors said I’m not, because I’m not impulsive. But what to do with that oversensitivity and all other things that help to understand the inner dynamics a lot…

      3. I’m very familiar with borderline personality disorder.psychology was my major in college its not a matter of the concept not helping me, I do not have the symptoms, unstable relationships or mood, desire to avoid abandonment etc. I do have a pretty severe case of OCD and have been in treatment for it most of my life.

      1. Only to the Narcs?
        Because, anyway, the Empaths don’t use their brains?
        Just think with their hearts?

    1. Salome
      I have two females that I am certain are CoDs*. One is from a family of all lessers and she is not very smart. The other CoD is from a family comprised of lessers and LMRNs, and she is not very bright either. I think intelligence has both a genetic component and an environmental one, so families can be a mixed bag of cognition. My lessers range from dumb, dumber and dumbest.


      1. Ha! Ha!
        One “like” for you because of your question.
        But why do you ask?
        Are you looking for some friends on your level?

      2. Salome,

        I didn’t find any research to confirm your statement so i assumed you based it on your own example.

        I am very careful choosing friends and those who upset others by making inconsiderate and thoughtless comments are automatically disqualified unless they apologise and show remorse.

      3. A Broken Wing

        It’s OK.
        Next time don’t confound “own example” with “own observations”.

    2. Oh can be different! Codep can have very high intelligence. They have the cultural level according to their family – they just are raised by narcissist etc.

      1. I’m border, that’s why I have and know codeps.
        That are only people who can last long years around narc or border.
        They are not being discarded usually. Everybody is discarded around, but they stay…
        Being raised in the families where usually there are one narc of border and one codep, they were pressed by high standards of achievement.

        The thing that differ them in behavior – they have pretty good adaptation not to wound subj; they have distorted boundaries, the narc atmosphere is (only one) familiar for them; they don’t have own egoistic feelings (it was prohibited to feel and wish something by cold parent – they are highly empathic, but their own wants are suppressed); they can “understand” the rages, not taking them on their own account, like “this person feels bad now”. Too much of empathy, self-sacrifice and understanding. Always want to fix, not let go.
        Can range from low intellect sufferers, enabling Lessers, probably. Until very intelligent successful people. They just can not date normals, bored with them, and magnetized to trouble we all know.
        But among them are also “active” codeps: control freaks who even able to dominate in relations (I’m not sure, but probably this controlling type are, by obvious reasons, not utilized by narcs (?), so all then left for borders). Particularly this active type is described in “Human-Magnet Syndrome” by Ross Rosenberg, who is codep and specializes on codeps.


        I think HG categorizes Empaths by fuel, that’s why not by intellect. That’s kind of emotional strength/ giving energy intensity category, independent of brain.
        But obviously the higher the narcissist is, the higher intellectual and physical demands he puts on his victims.

        The Greaters, probably, promote themselves very fast to the higher places, so can be caught in two ways – or very young (like it was in my letter case) or in the high flight, so that demands hunting for them (ha ha, if somebody really wants to put such goal) in the specific highest social milieu.

  2. When Narcissists Collide: Kim Jong Un calls Trump “old lunatic” and Trump tweets: Kim Jong Un is short and fat.

    More narc action: My empath spy did not believe me when I explained to her that her son’s playmates are lesser narcs. She and her husband felt sorry for the little sociopaths. Well, the 7-year-old took a knife out of her kitchen drawer and knifed her whole car. The empath spy spoke to the father and grandmother (both narcs) and they blamed her, started screaming she (the empath) was crazy, kicked her out of the house and slammed the door.

  3. Great. My narcs all told me I was a ‘challenge’. I never knew I could be an empath, much less a ‘super empath’ because I have a very black, almost nihilistic sense of humor and I don’t allow very many ‘in’ so to speak, but the narcissists managed to find that way in, which made their broken trust all the more painful.

    Surprise! I guess am warm and caring after all…till you betray me, you swine.

    Years ago, I found a man’s wallet that had 100s of dollars in it. I called him up and returned it, wherein he had tears in his eyes in reaction to my doing that. I only think how if I lost my wallet, I would want someone to do the same for me.

    But I don’t invite strangers into my house, homeless or not. Fuck that. There is being nice and then there is being stupid.

  4. In my youth I was very attracted to narc’s “cold” intelligence, I’ve never stayed for long in that relationship, but I was a “challenged accepted” two times, I managed to escape both times.
    Is there a way to distinguish between being a super empath and a “normal” person? There are many similarities, feeling really sorry and trying to help less fortunate ones can make a difference between those two? Otherwise…it’s all foggy for me.

  5. Super-empath here, with more than one narc in my life. Like him, I refuse to lose, and no man, not even a narc, can break my stride. The narc belief that i will always love the person i thought he was is not correct. i knew he was NSP the first couple weeks. i’ve cried a lot during our time, but when the ostentatious discard was happening, i came full circle. I knew it wasn’t real, but i needed it at the time. The same circular arguments became booooooooring, and I knew how to elicit them, to reinforce my resolve by getting the predictable scripted response. I miss him NOW, two weeks since discard/escape. But the thought of actually seeing him holds no allure. Accept the truth about yourself as well as the narc. Facing yourself is much harder. I can’t hide from the fact that narcs are the only people who burn as ferociously, in their way, as me, and that is irresistible. Knowing that they equally serve MY agenda changes everything, no hate, no wistful, no mourning. I will not be “topped” by any mere mortal. 🙂 Hope everyone has a lovely day.!

  6. Do the Greater Narcs that you expose ever contact you? Or any narcs, for that matter, who have lost a target after your consultations? When a target/victim tells the narc about you and your advice, if they do before going no contact, the thwarted narc must feel confused (which is rare).

    1. No Greater Narcissists. There have been two Mid Rangers who have done so after losing their target following their consulting with me.

      1. Yes and both showed complete Mid Ranger tendencies in their protestations and amounted to excellent examples which would have been useful to exhibit. I did not allow the comments through however because of course, that is what they wanted.

      2. Excellent. Not posting the comment was a smart move, of course, you knew that. Being ignored is tantamount to a criticism.

      3. Not really conversations Perse, more a monologue from both in terms of a comment and very much confirming the MR credentials.

      4. And where are all these Greaters? I’ve known lots of Lessers and many, many Mid-Rangers but the Greaters evade me. Not that I am complaining, albeit I’d like to have a real world person to use as comparison.

        And I just want to add how stupid Lessers are. They’re not even clever in how they manipulate.


      5. The majority of narcissists are Lesser and Mid Range. You may never meet a greater. It depends on the circles you move in.

      6. I did out of courtesy and to also enable them to see the confirmation (were it required) that were dealing with narcissists.

      7. Oh, Mr. Tudor, tisk, tisk. All narcissists are notorious for putting on airs. So my challenge for you is to deliver your next You Tube video in an American accent. Traditional, Mid-Western ala Ohio area. It’s flat and bland as shit. Perhaps it is not so glamorous, as your UK intonation, but I’d like to hear you try those flat a sounds and those strong r’s.

        “I parrrked my carrr near the waaaffle house….”

        Tee hee…

      8. I consider that some Greater Narcissists are indeed judges and silks, but all judges and all silks are not Greater Narcissists.

      9. A Greater would not be on this blog, because they know what they are. A Greater would not waste their time.

  7. Somewhere over the rainbow
    I found it very helpful to read as many articles as possible, if you go to the search bar, type in “empath” and read those articles, and by process of elimination, you may discover what you are. Your other option is a consult.

      1. Somewhere over the rainbow
        My pleasure! The Three Strands of Empathy mentions emotional contagion, which is quite interesting. Enjoy the reading, as well as, unraveling the mystery of what you are.

  8. I’m def not a super empath. I am not made of stern material. I am brittle☹️

    One of his niss’s was a super empath i think. He disengaged frm her on n off. She finally had enuf n i believe he’s history for her.

    And here i am, placed on n off the shelf (texting only) and i don’t mind. I don’t like breaking contact w pple. I have never done it w anyone for too long, not any ex’s either.

    1. I am a super empath.

      Jenna you are a borderline. At least that is what you say.

      HG, don’t you prefer super empaths?

      1. HGT1F—you are doing the work of the narc. triangulation. one more battle won sans fighting for them. doing their work makes one (even more) vulnerable and prime target. a super e would not be so garishly obvious. you are not. nice try.

      2. I don’t know you from a hole in the wall but based on your comments in this site I have never seen you demonstrate empathy

      3. Hgt1f,

        I thought i was borderline becoz my signif. other unofficially disgnosed me as such. He is a physician, but not a psychiatrist.

        My most recent psychiatrist conducted a few short tests on me, and concluded that i am not borderline. No psychiatrist b4 him asked nor cared.

        However, even if i were borderline, that wud make me a geyser empath.

      4. SMH

        Let it go HGT#1F.

        I understand your feelings towards HG, What is done is done, unless of course you are looking to rattle a cage.
        HG has stated this is a place for educating not targeting.
        Your comment comes across as if he would prefer you over another……

        Everyone else, do you know her story?

        Do you know what has transpired between those two?

      5. HG Tudors #1 fan – your comments seem to to fit the profile of a Super Empath which is the best cadre to be. Nice!

      6. Oh boy. Jesus, Mary and Joseph! There goes the warm and fuzzy sisterhood. Soft dung’s about to hit the fan and I’m looking for a safe corner to hide AGAIN. A pie is heading my way, I bend to avoid it and it hits HG, behind me, square in the face.

      7. Sniglet,

        What makes u believe super empaths are ‘the best cadre to be’?

        Sniglet, i am going to be honest with you. I am feeling a strange bond with u due to our disagreeable relationship/non-relationship. U may feel nothing but i do. Lol!

      8. Jenna – it has been noted that a Super Empath provides HG with the fuel he desires most, and logically it would be an advantage for his #1 fans to also have Super Empathic traits if they want to attract him more easily. I simply do not understand and I am mystified why anybody would be against HG Tudors #1 fan for proclaiming her adoration to/for HG! I care not who causes HGT#1’s nocturnal emissions and neither should anybody else. Additionally, HG has put a lot of effort into his website/business and naturally he will receive admiration from many women. Let him enjoy the attention. Cockblocking his fuel is unprincipled.

      9. Snigers, snickers,

        Your name is making me hungry.

        Thx for ur opinion. Pls see my comment below concerning all types of empaths hg likes to engage with.

        For the record, i do not have a prblm with readers expressing admiration for hg. It is posing as something one is not, that i have a prblm with. I will say no more. Hush jenna hush.

      10. Hey Jenna – you seem like a good person. It is not I who chooses anybody’s preferences and I don’t care what anybody does on here with their life. Anyhow, I have had some free time this past week to post more than usual and have gained more insight into the subjects of empathy and narcissism, experimented, poked and prodded around and it has been fun playing the game. I understand and feel armed with enough knowledge for now. I have so much to do! Back to the real me and my ‘normal’ life, am at an impass, preparing for a 24 hour flight, holidays, career changes, catching up with fam&friends, exams, moving from one continent to another for the 5th time in my short life, renovations, packing, gift shopping and continuing my plans on building that homeless shelter I’ve been meaning to build for a while. It never stops. I do this to myself. Oh, one other thing – I apologise to you HG Tudor for ever offending you. I truly enjoy your insightful blog. Keep it up! ☺️🙋🏼‍♀️

      11. Snickers,

        Ty for sharing all of that w me. Moving continents for the 5th time, wow! That’s difficult!
        All the best building the homeless shelter!😉
        I just gotta know, do u like the choc bar ‘snickers’?

      1. Sniglet
        Christ almighty, you are a riot! A pie in HG’s face. No wonder he made the “arching of eyebrows” comment.

      2. Hgt1f,

        It does not concern me.

        But i will elaborate. Just like hg wud have a size 2 and a size 8 woman, he wud also have a super empath, a contagion empath, a geyser empath, and a co-dependent. He is polygamous, as u know, but they must meet his stringent requirements, as outlined in ‘sitting target’.
        He likes super empaths for reasons explained in the above article. He has written in ‘chained’ that if he ensnares a co-dependent, it is like winning the lottery. He has also stated on the blog that he likes messing around with borderlines, ie. geyser empaths.

      3. Jenna, he likes engaging with who ever give him fuel, but HGs preferred empath, is a SUPER EMPATH.

      1. This blog is public. If hg did not wish to post twilight and overthinker’s comments, he would not have.

      2. Did you mean its none of my business ? Yes that true . concern? I’m not concerned if you mean worried. Curious ? Yes I’m curious but its obvious an answer will not be forthcoming. Guess I’ll have to draw my own conclusion.

      3. OT

        Sit back and observe or go and read the comments from the beginning of the blog to now, Using the knowledge HG provides you will start to see who is a narcissist, those that either are boarderline or have some serious traits, the co dependent, the actual SEs, standard Empaths, Not only this but you will see many stories unwinding and understand why some react/respond the way they do.

        I do agree with Dr Quinzel we need to remember many here have been to hell and back and are at different stages of healing. We are not all going to react/respond in the same manner, some become possessive of HG, no different then those that become dependent on his presence here and become panicked when he is gone. It is the way they see him and cling to him.

      4. Hi twilight,

        I am one of those who is dependent on this blog for support, and use hg as an alternative to texting ex narc. Hg has encouraged me to “use” him and the blog as a “substitute” early on. Ty hg.

        U stated:
        Let it go HGT#1F.
        I understand your feelings towards HG, What is done is done, unless of course you are looking to rattle a cage.
        HG has stated this is a place for educating not targeting.
        Your comment comes across as if he would prefer you over another……”

        U also stated:
        “We are not all going to react/respond in the same manner, some become possessive of HG, no different then those that become dependent on his presence here and become panicked when he is gone.”

        I am just curious what is ur stance on this, becoz u were shaking ur head at first. Pls note this is not a criticism at all. I enjoy reading ur comments. And like i stated earlier, i have no prblm w pple expressing their affection towards hg, as long as they realize it is “not a competition”, as hg has stated in the past (his words, and i agree).

        I am also one of those who has some borderline symptoms but not borderline personality disorder (as diagnosed by my psych). My symptoms include fear of abandonment, high sensitivity, suicidal ideation.

        I do not have the borderline traits of “unstable relationships with family, friends, and loved ones”, no dangerous behaviors such as spending sprees, unsafe sex, substance abuse, binge eating, gambling (2 need be met), no “chronic feelings of emptiness, intense anger” (i seldom become angry), no “dissociative symptoms, such as feeling cut off from oneself… or losing touch with reality”, no painting pple black or white (i almost always see only gray), no deliberate manipulative behavior.

        In fact, i was trying to convince my psychiatrist that i am borderline, but he strongly disagreed with me. He pointed out that while i have some borderline symptoms as explained above, it is a manifeststion of delayed onset of ptsd due to childhood trauma. That is my diagnosis – delayed onset of ptsd.

        “Some of these signs and symptoms may be experienced by people with other mental health problems—and even by people without mental illness—and do not necessarily mean that they have borderline personality disorder. It is important that a qualified and licensed mental health professional conduct a thorough assessment… ”

      5. Thanks for your reply twilight I’ve only been here a few months so I admitillingly don’t know peoples back stories. I doubt I have time to go back and read all the past articles although it would be a nice distraction but at the end of the day I need to focus on what brought me here which was to figure out what happened with my narc discovered he’s just a typical narc so my question to myself is is it now time to let go and put all things narc like behind me and forget it ever happened

      6. OT

        Ha ha I understand, in reality that would be a week event.
        Your own healing thou is what matters, a persons core doesn’t change and you will see this as time goes on henceforth the sit back and observe. This blog holds many lessons and different perspectives.

        Letting things go is good, yet don’t forget what it taught you.
        May the road ahead of you be paved with the stones they once thrown at you.

      7. HG, with toy with a borderline, but not for very long. A borderline is a huge headache. A SUPER EMPATH is fiery & fisty.

        A SUPER EMPATH is a challenge for a GREATER like, HG. A challenge, HG eventually conquers in the end.

        Since you refer bloggers to look at your previous comments, why don’t you look at my comment asking which school of empath, HG prefers and check out his answer, Jenna.

    2. Yes, he has stated he enjoys toying with all empaths, it’s fuel, but HG prefers SUPER EMPATHS.
      When asked if he was to ever get married again, which cadre of empath would he choose? HG answered with, SUPER EMPATH please!

  9. Over The Rainbow–it’s my interpretation that empaths are more deeply affected by people, situations and things. ‘Normal’ people tend not to internalize as much. Normals can be sensitive, but not AS sensitive as empaths.

    I don’t look at it as limited to just your feelings about people but also your environment, nature, animals, etc. Do you often pull in the world around you? I find I have to separate myself just to keep parts of it out. That is, the hurtful parts.

    As a contrast, codependents have lost their sense of self within another person–this habit goes on more than once. I’ve known some women who would change their interests and opinions depending on their new boyfriend. They seem to have this urge to rescue and or/be rescued.

    I actually am an HSP or Highly Sensitive Person–you should look that up and see if you identify with it. While I am not fond of labels per se, it is a personality trait that involves how one reacts to both internal and external situations and stimuli.

    As example, I don’t need to skydive to feel alive, I am ok with sipping my tea and watching the leaves move on the tree. Boring to some? Maybe. But my thoughts keep me occupied.

    Empaths are a bit more difficult to classify as I find them more complex than these narcissists who seem to all act according to some asshole handbook.

    That’s just my take.

  10. HG- I recently discovered I am a super empath thanks to my narc ex fiance. My dad has always been closest to me (there’s three daughters) and he is harsh like he gives off the vibe that he doesn’t care if he ever sees anyone again. He has punched a wall before. My mom is an empath. I know my dad’s dad never told him he loves him. Does that mean my dad and my grandpa are narcs? Turns out two of my best friends are.

  11. I believe that I fit the profile of just a normal. HG is probably in a better position to ascertain that. But I am pretty sure my analysis is correct. And there is nothing special about normals as they are not written about in great detail either.

      1. Ha ha. Oh, yeah – what happened to it? You all know my references are excellent. The devil’s spawn is taking his God damn time and won’t take a fucking bite of this beautiful red luscious delicious apple. He is threatened, surely. My brilliance will just shutter the dark side. K, you’re best mates with HG Tudor, put in a good word for me, will ya, before I change my mind.

      2. The Adjudication Panel For Admissions, Acolytes and Admirers has noted reference to considering oneself a normal – this caused some arching of eyebrows.

      3. Sniglet
        Last time I checked, he was going over your references:
        1. Lord D. Vader;
        2. Ms W. Witch of The East; and
        3. Mr D. Dasterdly.

        However, I will be sure to put in a good word with His Grace, but I do believe your reference to being normal “caused some arching of eyebrows”, so I will try my best to pour honey into his ears for your benefit, before you change your mind.

      4. Ha ha ha ha @ arching of the eyebrows! Your A. Panel of AAA agrees that I’m normal? And will a brilliant normal be expunged from the application process with all possible prejudice by this Panel?

      5. I thought so too, that it invited clarification but I had decided to shift my reply in a different direction just before pressing send. Agreed, it will need clarification. What is required?

  12. I truly wonder how to see/feel the difference between a Greater N and someone with highly autistic features. Both seem to react pretty much the same way and in both cases empaths seem to be drawn to them. Could you elaborate on this, HG?

    1. I do not know enough about autism to provide a detailed response, but I would immediate point to awareness, malice, fuel and calculation as being key distinguishing features.

      1. Thank you. The question came up after -amongst others- hearing your video ‘What do narcs feel?’. Personally, I found this video very touching. What you describe as a sense of power, I recognize in autism as a need for control, because if people on the spectrum can’t have control, they loose their sense of self and get lost in a world of uncoordinated impulses. There comes in the calculation you mention. In my experience people on the autism spectrum are never aware what another person feels, so malice is not an option. Would it be the awareness only? Because people on the spectrum are usually quite aware that they lack empathy and try to compensate this by other means, including what you might call extensive seduction. Both Narcs and people on the autistic spectrum tend to work from brain only. And because they can’t empathize the work around by mimicry. A little confusing, I would say.

      2. Although I will answer this question more in depth in a little while – I will begin my response by saying Autism Spectrum Disorder is a neurodevelopmental disorder.

    2. I can elaborate on the differences between autism and narcissistic personality disorder in a little bit (currently busy but will get to it later tonight).

    3. Hi syroya.. i hope you dont mind me piping in. My son is on the autism spectrum and is higher functioning aspergers. He doesnt have a mean bone in his body. I can see where people may see similarities in regards to empathy bc he does struggle with that. He loves very deeply but struggles to put himself in others shoes so to speak. For instance if one of the family hurts themselves he will go up to his room to escape crying or having to deal with the stress of that persons reaction.
      Individuals on the autism spectrum are the very opposite of narcissists in that they lack understanding human psychology. They struggle to understand what you and i naturally understand like body language, different kinds of humor and personal space. They struggle to read peoples emotions. The narcissist is the polar opposite they are fully aware of human psychology and use it to prey on the vulnerabilities of others to get what they want from them. This is very conning and its deliberate. They lack empathy but thats about the only similaritie a narcissist has with someone with autism.
      Autistic person…a disability where they struggle to understand human emotion and behaviour.
      Narcissist….product of upbringing and partially genetic disposition who are predators and understand like an expert human behaviour.
      Two different conditions.

    4. syroya,

      The autistic are not interested in becoming you, or in flattering you, or in your flattery of them. They will not harm you intentionally. Their ignoring of you is honest, not contrived.

      All in all, if an autistic is communicative, they will be brutally honest, with no idea that their words can hurt. Many of them do take what you say in quite the literal sense. I find them very calming to be around, once I adjust to them being for the most part, only physically present.

      HG mentions Awareness as a key distinguishing feature. This is the most outstanding difference, in that an Autistic is hypo-aware of others, and the narcissist is hyper-aware of others.

      The most currently high functioning autistic that I am aware of would be Temple Grandin, Very interesting person, google her.


      1. Thank you. I know Temple Grandin and her work.
        Suppose I flipped your statement and stated instead that an Autistic is hyper-aware of Self and an narcissist is hypo-aware of Self? Would that change anything?

      2. syroya,
        I’m not sure.
        I think the autistic is only aware of the fact of themselves.
        I think the narcissist may sometimes be aware of the fiction of themselves.
        That’s all I got. opinion from observation.
        Sorry I can’t quite answer that..

      3. Hi perse…Temple Grandin is a fascinating lady. Her mother was a speech pathologist and more or less kicked into action modern day therapies for people with autism. Inclusion was a big part of this. She hired a nanny to interact throughout the day with Temple and this changed her brain development and helped her to be higher functioning. It amazes me how she thinks in pictures and also her empathy and connection to animals. Shes a professor and has achieved a lot!
        Ive had my son in many things but drama and dance have really helped immensely! I had to giggle at your mention of how they take things literal lol its so true. He acts and talks so wise and years ahead of his age. I love to tease him bc he takes things so seriously 😄

  13. I can’t help myself right now. I’m feeling playful…

    If you’re a super empath and you know it clap your hands…

    ::clap clap::

    Where my super empaths at?

  14. Lets all try and refrain from attacking each other. It isn’t helpful or productive. We are all adults here who have been through enough stress and trauma in our relationships with narcissists and psychopaths.
    We all come from different experiences and backgrounds etc and I think we are all capable of having disagreements without attacking the character of another.

  15. This forum is excellent for exchanging information, opinions, and ideas on many topics. I think it is important for us to stick together and try to be understanding of one another and basically support each other through the healing process.

    I believe it is in everyone’s best interest to try and understand the perspective of others even if it isn’t something that you agree with. Our thoughts and feelings can be expressed in ways that aren’t hurtful to others.

  16. Furthermore, I believe it is even more important that we try our best not to judge people and tell people how they should be feeling or who they should be and how they should behave.

  17. As stated previously (many times) we are all at different stages of the healing process and I know that can get frustrating to other people who are further along. It is all understandable but lets all try and remember when we were there.

      1. Don’t lie hg you would love it if all your followers sat around holding YOUR hand and singing kumbaya kind of like Charles Manson and his followers one big giant fuel fest

      2. Ha ha, you can sing but I will pass on the hand holding, thank you. You can sing Flower of Scotland instead.

      3. Awesome Idea
        My crew is so going to be sending some hate towards you….I am singing if you are happy and you know it….and that was before reading this

        On a brighter note know what happens when pilot lights go out on stoves and you turn them all on and light them….you get everyone’s attention really fast….they think I run to my own beat around here and I have no idea why

  18. Hmm..Super Empaths eh.

    Oh yes..Them.
    The Belisha beacon targets.
    Let them line-up.

    Buys me time to laugh my hide off all the way to freedom.

    See my footprints in the snow?
    I didn’t think so.

  19. HG, is the Greater the only narcissist aware of what he or she is?

    Can an upper mid range also be aware of what he or she is and does?

    Also upon reading your blog, can unaware narcissists actually believe they are Super Empaths?

    Confusing high narcissistic traits for a specific type of Empath and not their own disorder?

  20. The empaths are categorised in a different way which does not relate to the level of cognitive function.

    ^if our cognitive functioned correctly, we would not be here. ie: we do not logically make decisions. our ET is our demise. so whether we are intelligent or not does not buy us out of this mire.


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