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Interestingly, all my exes seem to “chase” me and my fuel. (Just found out my ex husband, the one I divorced in 98) just tried to hoover me AGAIN this past holiday through my son. He contacted my son (not even his son!) to try to get yet another message to me. My son did not respond. This is the second time he has tried thru my adult son where my son has not responded and won’t as he never felt bliss to him. The last time was last Christmas. Persistence. And, I’m safe and not impacted emotionally. I know his motive and till not give him any attn.
Indy in the Sky, with storms and stars! The moon comforts me. Not breaking from tornado winds, gracefully bending and evading harm.
This may not fit here, but I just went to an organ/choral concert. There was a little girl a few rows ahead sitting with her family. At one point her mother began to stroke her hair. This brought back memories for me. The only times my mother ever showed me any physical affection – well any affection – was at church. She would hold me, stroke my hair, smile and be very sweet.
I used to wonder why she was so nice and affectionate at church, but never at home. It hit me sitting there at this concert – it was for the façade. People saw my mother acting loving at church. There was no need for her to act that way at home, because no one was there to see it. It surprised me that after 50 something years, having this insight still hurt me…
I watched this little girl and her family for the rest of the concert. The only feelings I could pick up from her were curiosity, a sense of wonder at the performers and some tiredness. I pray that her mother actually loves her.
That’s me in a nutshell. Chasing the drama of my early years, only feeling alive and in love when I’m tossed about in the relentless wind.
Truth.
The most important thing is to realize, that that storm is really harmful to you and gain a strength to stop it.
Always looking for the perfect storm. Needing that thrill and afraid of the calm.
Exactly. I don’t know how to give up craving that excitement and accept and embrace that my “calm” stable (boring?) life is the healthy choice. It’s so messed up.
Yeah!
You messed up psychopaths create the storm l, to an extent where I meet ANOTHER psychopath, and I can’t fall out of love for him when I’ve already fallen!
So yeah,, I’M SPENDING THE REST OF MY LIFE CHASING!!!
IT WILL BE DONE WHEN YOU BOTH DIE!!!
ALL THIS CHASING, IT WILL DONE WHEN YOU BOTH DIE!!!!!