You Wait Until Later Tonight

YOU WAIT UNTIL LATER TONGIHT

 

You wait until later tonight. Oh such promise. I expect those words are already generating an excited anticipation as to what lies in store for you. When I whisper those words down the telephone line to you or in your ear as I lean down over you, you can feel that delicious tingle drift across you, like the lightest of sensual touches. How you marvel at my surprises. Each day feels like your birthday as some new delight is sent your way. What might it be tonight? Will it be an evening out somewhere? Perhaps the prominence of a favourable table in a well-regarded restaurant? It might be drinks with my friends who have taken such a shine to you and made you feel completely at home. Then again it might be the presentation of some gift, carefully selected by reference to the desires you have and which we have learned about you from carefully scrutiny of your behaviour, from a dedicated attention to what you tell us and our own expertly honed intuition borne from repeated practice. There is a myriad of opportunities and this is what makes us so special to you. We offer so many different avenues towards pleasure, love and delight. We know what makes you tick and we utilise that to ensure you are made joyously happy. But it is the promise of what is to come that works so well. It plays to your sense of intrigue, it heightens your expectation and thrills you. Rather than giving you it now, we create a delicious sense of expectation causing you to look forward to whatever it might be with considerable hunger. How exciting this all is, how different this is to anything you have experienced before. It is fantastic to be treated so magnificently.You wonder what the surprise is? What will come later? Perhaps with the reference being made to you waiting until later tonight it will be a passionate and sensual encounter between the sheets? The mere thought of that causes a surge of delight to rise from deep inside of you as your mind conjures up the evocative images of our last night together. You can honestly say you have never experienced anything like it before. We set you ablaze with passion, the energy that flowed between us was tangible and the urgent union of our bodies culminated in the most scintillating of conclusions. It was truly magnificent. The throaty way we suggested to you that you wait until later tonight must surely mean that this is what is in store for you? Another earth-shattering coupling. Both your body and mind are already responding to this prospect, the warmth of anticipation flooding across your body. You replay those words that I murmured to you and think of that promise…..

You wait until later tonight. Oh such a threat. I expect those words are already generating a fearful anticipation as to what lies in store for you. When I growl those words down the telephone line to you or hiss them in your ear as I loom over you, you can feel that sinking dread crawl across you, like the dead cold grip of a wraith has touched you. How you baulk at my threats. Each day feels like your funeral as some spiteful threat is sent your way. What might it be tonight? Will it be an evening of silence with glowering looks from across the room? Perhaps the unsophisticated onslaught of words and fists, raining down on you, blunt instruments of awful intimidation? It might be the humiliation of drinks with my friends who have taken such a dislike to you and make you feel completely isolated whenever I force you to endure them. Then again it might be the presentation of some fabricated home truths, carefully selected by reference to the weaknesses that you have and which we have learned about you from carefully scrutiny of your behaviour, from a dedicated attention to what you tell us and our own expertly honed intuition borne from repeated practice of hurling insults at the person we supposedly love. There is a myriad of opportunities and this is what makes us so awful to you. We offer so many different avenues towards hatred, humiliation and fear. We know what makes you sick and we utilise that to ensure you are made deliriously fearful. But it is the threat of what is to come that works so well. It plays to your sense of terror, it heightens your dread and paralyses you. Rather than giving you the abusive delivery now, we create a mortifying sense of fearful expectation causing you to have anxiety as to whatever it might be that is to be exacted against you. How terrifying this all is, how different this is to anything you have experienced before. It is frightening to be treated so horribly. You wonder what is lurking in store for you? What will come later? Perhaps with the reference being made to you waiting until later tonight it will be an unwanted and degrading encounter between the sheets? The mere thought of that causes a surge of nausea to rise from deep inside of you as your mind conjures up the excruciating images of the last time that happened. You can honestly say you have never experienced anything like it before. We set you on edge, the venom that flowed from us was so poisonous and the urgent delivery of our abuse culminated in the most degrading of outcomes. It was truly horrific. The malevolent way we suggested to you that you wait until later tonight must surely mean that this is what is in store for you? Another disgusting, degrading act meted out against you. Both your body and mind are already responding to this prospect, dizzying fear and pounding heart gripping you. You replay those words that I murmured to you and think of that threat….

What a difference a day makes.

The outcome may seem different to you but to us it is always the same. Whether it is seductive charmer or malevolent abuser it is about control.

The threat of what might happen is often more enjoyable/more terrible than the actual event itself.

This is what creates such considerable control.

And who do we regard as responsible for causing this?

Not us.

You are the one who thinks about what is going to happen.

You are the one who creates the scenarios in your mind.

You are the one who creates the anticipation, be it of excitement or fear.

Yet again, we are able to blame you.

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11 thoughts on “You Wait Until Later Tonight”

  1. As always, HG, you capture the bipolar nature of being in a relationship with a narcissist. The more of your work I read, the more the history of my marriage makes sense and is rewritten.

    1. Gaining that understanding is critical to your progress and also arming yourself so you are not ensnared again.

      1. I’m at the point of seeing Narcs everywhere. Watching a documentary about a woman whose father was on death row for killing her two little sisters (aged 6 and 9, I think) 15 years previously – no prizes for identifying the father as a Narc, but then the daughter said something which sent a chill up my spine. She said she was glad it worked out the way it did, so the little sisters didn’t have to go through what she was dealing with, having her father on death row. It’s hard to imagine a more Narc point of view, given the circumstances.
        HG, how common is NPD, in your opinion? I vaguely knew of it before I realised I was infested, but I always thought it was incredibly rare. With how many Narcs I’m identifying I’m starting to feel paranoid and as if I’m unfairly diagnosing NPD where it does not exist.

  2. I think this is one of the cruelest and most calculating ways of manipulation and abuse and of great impact and damage.
    Mind games in its highest degree: playing by switching between the anticipation of something good to the fear of something bad.
    Even though it does not happen the anguish created in the mind is devastating ,consuming and eroding.
    I think nobody understands its negative impact unless they have been submitted repeatedly to it and still there is no evidence that it happened….

  3. I’ve lived this and I can hardly read it without feeling that kind of instinctive fear again. I can’t feel the excitement anymore though, but he left me with all the terror. The anticipation of evil paralyses and exactly as described I went through all kinds of scenarios in my head, trying to work out a strategy that would somehow help. To no avail.

  4. Those words were never used in a negative way for me. It was always a seductive phrase said to me to make me think he wanted me so much that he could hardly contain himself.

    Guess what happened later that night? Nothing. That’s what happened. Nothing. I took the bate every time though. A narcissists dream.

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