The Mid Range Narcissist




Meet Malcolm the Mid-Range Narcissist. Say hello Malcolm.


Ever obliging is Malcolm, part of his charm. He doesn’t have the ubermensch mentality of the Greater and nor is he governed by the almost rash instinctive behaviour of the Lesser. Malcolm is not so much defined by what he is, but by what he is not.

“Isn’t that right Malcolm?”

“Isn’t what right my dear?”

“You are a Mid-Range Narcissist.”

Malcolm laughs. It is an affable laugh. He knows that a veneer of self-effacement is effective to get what he wants. He is not prone to the wild outlandish boasts of the Lesser (based on what he thinks he is and therefore says as such as a matter of immediate response) or the Greater (who actually has the achievements and accomplishments to back up those boasts, but boasts about them the Greater always must).

“Hey, what can I say, I like to look good and you know, you have to love yourself before you can love anybody else, that’s what I always say.”

You see, Malcolm thinks that is what a narcissist is. Somebody who loves themselves. He lacks the higher function to know what it really means and lacks the cunning to know it himself but to deny it to those who would seek to topple him. He has some understanding so the comment does not present as a criticism to him, but since he has a moderate degree of function, he knows enough to use it to maintain his façade of being a decent, likeable and reliable fellow.

“You are a likeable chap, I must say.”

“Why thank you and may I say how lovely you look today.”

“That’s most kind, mind you, you are not the first person to compliment me on my appearance.”

Let’s see how he responds to that little piece of provocation. Did you see it? There was a flash of the inner fury but he kept it under control. Watch again. You see the sudden frown and the narrowing of the eyes as his jealousy started to climb inside of him as he felt the injury from this criticism. My comment suggested that someone else might be interested in me, that I am not just Malcolm’s. Of course, it was just a well-meant and polite compliment, but like all of their kind, Malcolm views the world from a position of suspicion and wariness. Wariness is an apt description for Malcolm. He doesn’t erupt in the way Lee the Lesser might have done if I had made the same remark. Lee would have responded with insulting questions to my comment. The Greater would show no sign of concern but file the remark away to be used at the appropriate time, when the moment is exactly right. Anyway, let’s get back to Malcolm. There is that flash of fury but he has enough control to keep it held back. For now. He won’t let it go though, he cannot.

“Oh really, who said that?”

He asks in a tone of relative disinterest but he is dying to know. He wants to know because he feels uncomfortable at this revelation. He does not know precisely why, although he knows he has to be wary about someone interfering with his partner because after all, he wants to maintain his façade of family man with the dedicated wife and so forth. Steady Malcolm who knows he is not amongst the elite of the world, but he is also far from the underclass too. He has abilities and people should recognise that. Okay, he is not the best, but he is still good, very good actually.

“Oh you know the attendant at the petrol station, he chats to me every time I am in there, he probably fancies me.”

There it is again. The brief look of consternation. The fury is rising but he is managing to keep a grip on it, but he won’t be able to do so for long. He does not want to erupt, he knows that will not do, that is not how he behaves, but he knows he needs to do something to counter this threat. He does not like the fact that I am accepting compliments from this interloper, I should only receive them from him.

“Yes well, I was told by Lucy at the florists that I look ten years younger than my real age.”

There we are. He is switching to an alternative fuel source. His level of function allows him to rely on a past event and still draw fuel from it. The Lesser would not be able to do that. Firstly, his fury would have erupted already and secondly even if it had not, he would struggle to bring up the previous compliment. His mind does not work that way. Malcolm can though and this is his way of switching the spotlight back on to him. He is also looking to get a reaction from me as well to provide him with some fuel. Let’s pretend I haven’t heard him.

“Yes the guy at the garage, Luke he is called, strapping lad, so pleasant. He always tells me that my hair is looking nice or that I smell gorgeous. He fair makes my day.”

“Yes well he can’t be too bright though can he if he is working in a garage.”

Malcolm doesn’t say it as a question but it’s a statement. He is losing control; the fury is coming. His comment had a dual purpose. You see, his mid-range function provides him with some weaponry in that regard. He wanted to cut down my comment in order to provoke a reaction from me but also by stating that Luke is not very bright he is undermining the compliments that Luke has sent my way. He’s a little bit clever with it you see.

“Oh, he just works there in between his studies. He is going to be an architect, he wants to show me some of his designs, I think I might do that.”

Let’s push it a little more. You can see Malcolm’s face is now set in a frown. He doesn’t like it at all that I am not giving him any fuel and moreover by fawning over Luke I am implicitly criticising Malcolm, at least in his mind that is the case.

Malcolm won’t respond in an outwardly aggressive manner. It’s there if he is really pushed, if he feels cornered in some way or has a frantic need for fuel then the fury will erupt as heated fury and he will lash out. He can only keep the fury under control for a short while. The Lesser can barely do so. The Greater can and will or will not, dependent on how the Greater has calculated whether the unleashing of the fury will provide him with the greatest return at that instant. Malcolm is caught between the two. He can exert some control but not enough to really deliver and savage aggression is rarer with him. Watch now and see how his ignited fury manifests.

Do you see? He has snatched up his ‘phone and rings one of his secondary sources. He knows he does not like this feeling of being ignored and he knows that to deal with it he needs attention from somewhere else. He does not know it as fuel of course, only that when this happens, if I, his primary source, is letting him down, he has to either up his game with me and/or draw attention from somewhere else.

“Hi Janice, just wondering if you were still on for lunch today?”

There’s no arranged lunch but he knows that Janice likes him, he makes sure that this remains the case and she is usually available. Notice the sideways glance to ensure I have heard him. There are not the bold assertive moves of the Lesser (through instinct) or the Greater (through calculation) but the wary steps that are the hallmark of the Mid-Range Narcissist.

Janice is cooing down the ‘phone and he feels better already but he also wants a reaction from me.

“Who are you calling?” I ask in a loud voice.

“Yes I thought so too Janice, thanks for saying that, I appreciate that.” He is ignoring me. I repeat the question but there is no response as he continues to talk into the ‘phone and lap up the fuel from Janice whilst enjoying my irked expression. This is a silent treatment from him as he refuses to acknowledge me. The Mid-Range uses the silent treatment more than any other cadre of narcissist because the Mid-Range is a creature who is passive-aggressive. The Lesser uses them, of course he does, but they tend to be short-lived. The Lesser will storm out of the house and disappear to a friend or a bar for an afternoon. The Greater will organise the silent treatment and apply it for maximum effect, it will not be a knee jerk reaction. The Greater will apply them for a long time as well but does not use them as often as the Mid-Range. The silent treatment is the main method of manipulation for the Mid-Range Narcissist. This is because it allows him to exert control, it can be used whilst preserving the façade (there won’t be a sudden eruption and storming away with slammed doors and cries of “You’ll never see me again”) but rather he will quietly depart for a period of time, or more likely use the present silent treatment. The Mid-Range is a sulker. He has enough control to sit and say nothing to you and drink up the fuel as you keep badgering him. He can sit and sulk for hours, days if need be. He can breeze around the house as if you aren’t there. Yes, Malcolm the Mid-Range Narcissist revels in the effect of his silent treatments and his dual approach here is providing dividends for him.

I walk over to him and stand in front of him, hands on hips. He sees the gesture and this fuels him further but to the him it is as if I am not there. He just looks through me. Again this is some of the discipline that I afforded by him by virtue of being Mid-Range.

He ends the call and walks off ignoring my comments as they drift fuel-filled through the air to him. He won’t shout back (he rarely does) he knows it is more effective to sulk and also then the neighbours won’t hear so he remains seen as pleasant, good neighbour Malcolm. He will probably head next door and hide there with Margaret for a couple of hours. He is good at cultivating a wide range of fuel sources. The Lesser keeps his circles tighter, lacking the discipline to operate too many fuel lines. The Greater of course has hundreds of fuel lines because he can draw them in through his outlandish greatness, his achievements and golden accomplishments. The Mid-Range doesn’t shine as bright but he has charm and ability which he uses to develop many different fuel sources and he can always rely on them. He does not have a high turn-over, keeping many of them in the golden period for years. The Mid-Range is most likely to have long-standing friends going years back. The Lesser and Greater may have as well, but not in the same number of the length of time as the Mid-Range.

So, Malcolm will be away giving me the silent treatment as he draws fuel from Margaret and then Janice. He knows how his silent treatment affects me and that is why he also uses it so often. Oh well, that’s my day spoiled already and he knows it. I suppose I had better go and fill up the car with fuel. I know a good garage and a sympathetic ear to hear my woes.

70 thoughts on “The Mid Range Narcissist

  1. Morning sun says:

    I received the most amazing golden period, worthy of a greater N, even though he’s a MR. And since I was the DS and we had limited time together, it lasted for almost 2 years, and then slowly simmered down until the discard.

  2. ava101 says:

    do you think that a mid range narcissist for example would understand less about narcissism and narcissistic relationships when you explain it to them than an empath?
    Do mid range narcs know when they are gas lighting and engaging in circular talk?
    How would they react if one told them nicely that their manipulations don’t work?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It depends on the context. If you are trying to explain it with reference to the narcissist, they will reject the suggestion or look to deflect it, for instance suggesting they will address it through therapy which is part of the ongoing manipulation. If it is being discussed as a topic generally, without reference to them, they may well use the discussion to demonstrate they know about it (when they do not – purely to monopolise the conversation and show off) and/or suggest they have been ensnared by a narcissist, know of one at work, their parent was one etc in order to draw sympathy fuel and manipulate.

      They do not know they are gas lighting and they do not know they are engaging in circular talk. They will reject that by saying they are just explaining but you are not listening, or you are making things up again and reading too much into things or you are forgetful etc.
      They would reject they are being manipulative and most likely project saying you are being manipulative.

      1. ava101 says:

        How can those horrible mid rangers not know what they are and what they are doing!!!

        Your first paragraph: exactly. 100 %.

        So they kind of grasp the concept but don’t care?

        Thank you so much, HG, I was about to begin to doubt my sanity. 😉

      2. MLA - Clarece says:

        I’ve been mulling over a lot of your comments to Ava101 and also Jenna with regard to what the narcissist can grasp as their actual behavior vs how they are operating based on their instinct and not necessarily calculating their manipulations (i.e. doling out a silent treatment specifically to hurt their victim because they know she hates it).
        Over time, through consults, I had shared several times JN sent “apologies”. These were tepid at best. He never acknowledged any actual behavior and understanding as to why it was hurtful. As a refresher, I got the one that started with “I woke up in a good mood today so I thought I’d let you know I’m sorry for how our last conversation ended. I said some hurtful things and I don’t want to be portrayed in that light”. (For the readers to get a good feel for JN at his finest).
        It dawned on me HG, that in 5 years time, I never got the call or messages with him truly having a moment of melting down or hitting a breaking point with angst and worry over anything I had said or done or when I pulled away and lashed out at him in anger.
        My best point of reference is when I had a breast cancer scare in early 2016. I reached out twice to JN over a 3 week period. Never heard a peep from him. My biopsies came back negative and all was good. But about a month after that scare, one night it just hit me like a ton of bricks and I was seething with rage that he blew me off. Completely. And I started a text campaign laced with a lot of f-bombs and telling him where to go. I was livid and I shared that exchange with you in a consult.
        Narcs never get pushed to that brink do they? You get frenzied or have fury but again it’s all from a different source that generates it. And then those conversations turn into word salads and circular conversations that still don’t streamline the actual issue that needs to be fixed.
        There was nothing circular or salad tossing about my exchange on when I was furious for him not offering one kind word of support.
        That is one thing is JN was never able to mirror back any genuine sentiment.
        But I guess others have had this maybe when a Narc is trying to do an IGH if they escaped? I don’t know. I never experienced that. I still can be confusing trying to comprehend instinct over deliberate and calculated behaviors.

  3. Mark says:

    HG please keep writing about midrangers. I feel like they are everywhere.

    1. Kathy Mor says:

      It is almost like a social class type of narcissism, which is NOT entirely true but when I think about the lessers, the image that comes to my mind is the “redneck wife beater”, those low class type of people with three teeth in their mouth, who will put up a scene at Walmart because they feel entitled to some special treatment, when they can barely pay for their groceries.

      Mid range sounds like middle class, lower white collar to upper middle, stuck between, still having most of the instincts of the lesser but a touch of brain power of the greater that keeps them from smashing their face on the floor. So, maybe, yes, they may be the most common type.

      Then the greaters are upper middle class. More refined, obviously smarter, more aware, equally dangerous…. more dangerous….. You can feel the magnetism from a distance, any distance… and if you listen to your instincts, you will stay away… unless you want a temporary battle just to sharpen your weapons.

      I related to directly to one greater my entire life and it was work based. Enough from me to learn, not knowing who I was dealing with but knowing his capabilities.

      Said, that never underestimate a narcissist of any level. When you do, you are blinding yourself. These people come in different forms and shapes, and sizes…. and FACADES.

      1. Kathy says:

        Your visual depiction of the nearly edentulous Wal Mart shopper made me laugh this morning!

  4. Susan says:

    Iris on. Funny you mentioned the. Cold. My mid ranger had a thing about the cold. Even with a coat on he acted like how dare it be so cold. He felt it worst than other people. And how dare the universe bring it on to make him uncomfortable. It was a semi cold day. I asked him to go with me to pick up a used headboard from a guys house that I bought on Craigslist and he sat in the car shivering while the guy from Craigslist put the headboard in my trunk. what a man. He didn’t even help.
    Is there something about the cold HG? And a mid?
    I always wondered about that

    also recently you were asked about whether you dreamed. You said no. I know my mid ranger never dreamed. He started to tell me dreams because I told him all normal people dreamed. But his dreams were made up. I could tell. Is That the case in all true narcs HG?

    1. K says:

      He sat in the car… what an ass! He reminds me of my lessers.

    2. Morning sun says:

      “I know my mid ranger never dreamed. He started to tell me dreams because I told him all normal people dreamed.”

      The MRN I was involved with couldn’t remember any of his dreams either. I never said that tha was odd, but I did say that I have had lucid dreams with training myself (they are seriously the best!! I always choose to fly in them) and that I could sometimes remember up to 4 dreams a night. After a while, he started occasionally mentioning he had dreamed about something. I don’t remember what it was, but it probably served his aims in some way.

      Funny enough, I stopped remembering my dreams when I was with the narc. I probably thought that not remembering dreams was somehow a sign of a superior mind so I repressed them, trying to be more like him. They’re back now though. Yay! 🙂

      1. J says:

        Interesting. Same experience here. I don’t remember my mid-N ever mentioning dreaming, expect when he was clearly lying, “I was dreaming about you.” I am an extremely light sleeper (even a partner changing positions will wake me) and I don’t remember him ever exhibiting any signs of dreaming while sleeping. (Ex. Dream chatter, fast breathing, movements, etc.)

  5. Deepsigh says:

    I know this is random…but would you say in your opinion that Steve Jobs was narcissist of any kind? I watched a movie about him recently and I saw things about his character that made me wonder…plus things I have heard.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      He was.

      1. Recovering Narcoholic says:

        For sure! His empoyees even coined the phrase “reality distortion field” to describe his manipulations — a description I’ve borrowed many times when talking about my MRN’s alternate reality.

  6. Iris says:

    Haha yes I do detest them.

    You can’t win a war with an army of midrangers. They won’t stop complaining about the cold. Bleh.

  7. Iris says:

    There is nothing wrong with a bit of arguing HG, it gets your blood pumping.

    You have your fuel addiction and I have mine ;-).

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I know there isn’t, it provides fuel.

      1. Bibi says:

        I know a bit of German and Dutch to me sounds like someone pretending to speak German where I can’t decipher any of the words.

        I’ve heard the same said of Spanish speakers when they head Portuguese.

      2. Iris says:

        Yep. I’ve always wondered about my narc levels. I know a have some, as most of us do, but how high I really can’t say.

        I’m too smart to be a lesser, I refuse to be a midranger and I love animals too much to be a greater.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          “I refuse to be a midranger” that amused me.

      3. Blank says:

        Bibi, it’s the Germans that don’t speak Dutch properly 🙂
        For me the Spanish and Portugese language are completely different, not so much in written language, but the way the Portugese speak is as if they have chewing gum stuck on their teeth :). Buenas noches!

  8. Iris says:

    OK Blank, a bottle of wine it is, cheers!

    1. Blank says:

      Make it two Iris 😉 Cheers!

  9. Iris says:

    Hahaha you surprised me with that one HG.

    Google translate?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I understand some Dutch.

      1. Iris says:

        It’s a shame it’s only a little HG, because arguing with you in Dutch would be even more fun than in English.

        I don’t miss my ex-narc at all, but I do miss a good argument * sigh *

        1. HG Tudor says:


      2. Blank says:

        Zoals: hoeveel gram? 😉

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Ha ha, I would never purchase drugs in the Netherlands.

      3. Nuit Étoilée says:

        HG, is your Dutch from your visits to South Africa?

    2. Blank says:

      Of course 😉

  10. Iris says:

    “Iris, I never dated Americans. An Englishman, yes, I even immigrated with him to the other side of the world. But he was a bore, no narc, he only needed a woman to look after his child and clean his house.
    I put up with Dutch narcs, because they live in the same country as I do :).”

    If this means that you’re Dutch too:
    Hé Blank, leuk om nog een Nederlander te ontmoeten! We zouden eens een kopje koffie moeten doen. Lekker zeuren over narcs en ervaringen uitwisselen 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Te veel koffie heeft bijwerkingen. Zoals we onlangs hebben gezien.

      1. Blank says:

        Dat klopt. Dan doen we wel een wijntje. Een Amarone della Valpolicella Classico de Cesari. Will you come and join us HG? It’s only an 1 hour flight. Next week?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Not a bad choice of wine. No thank you.

    2. Blank says:

      Zullen we er dan een wijntje van maken? 🙂

  11. Sophia says:


    At work? Dating? I think I’ve worked with a couple female narcissists. I wonder if men operate in a similar fashion at work. I listened to the ex MMRN speak about his boss and coworkers while wondering how they didn’t see his behavior as problematic. Of course, I wasn’t there so he could have embellished about “getting people to quit.”

  12. David says:

    Thank you for writing about mid rangers. I feel like every narc I meet is mid range. Please keep writing about mid rangers.

  13. Rebecca says:

    HG – I know you are greater and your mom is mid and your uncle lesser. It seems like the abuse your mom abused you with would have been similar to the abuse her parents probably put her and your uncle through so it is interesting that you and them went through narcissistic abuse as children but turned out very different. Does someone’s intelligence level affect their class of narcissism? I find it fascinating that most immediate families of narcs seem to be all cerebral or all somatic but they always seems to be mixed bags of lessers, mids and greater.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Intelligence is a factor in determining the school, yes.

      1. J says:

        HG–Have you any theory as to why families would have a mix of L, M and Gs? One, I imagine, would expect closely related Ns to be of the same or nearly the same type.

    2. Windstorm2 says:

      In the families with multiple narcs that I know, they are all a mix of somatic and cerebral.

  14. Sophia says:

    This post is a sign. I let my MMRN in again. I thought I could manage a relationship with him. I wouldn’t expect too much. I knew what his pattern is so I’d be ok. WRONG.

    After two weeks of him he’s finally showed his true colors again. Today was the day that I was able to name each form of manipulation as it happened. Today is the day I was able to apply every single thing I’ve read and match the behavior.

    Acceptance has been so hard. The evidence was there proving he’s an MMRN. Yet I kept looking for a better person.

    I hope it is incredibly hard for him to keep his creature under wraps today after our falling out. I hope she gets to see his true colors. I’d imagine she has or he wouldn’t have been coming around being nice to me.

    I’ve read fuel. I still wonder though…nice to me (former candidate IPSS) = mean to her? Positive fuel from me = positive fuel to provide positive or negative behavior towards current candidate IPSS?

    Somehow it seems he doesn’t seem to have the ability to be nice when he needs to be. So I can’t help but wonder how my positive or negative fuel changes his behavior to other IPSS or if at all.

    It would give me pleasure to see how my absence will affect him because I know I’ve been a valuable appliance. I don’t want to be narcissistic supply anymore.

    It is clear to me that this is a sort of an addiction and I must treat it as such. Does anyone else work through this as such?

    1. Windstorm2 says:

      Probably a lot of us feel the same way or similar to you now or we have at some point in the past. I think you’re right on track. Now’s the time to move on to a healthier relationship with someone else.

      I have tried to stay in friendships with midrangers. You discovered the problem. We can’t predict their behavior. It is a fallacy that since we know what they are, that we can act in a way that they will respond favorably. The reality is they will always keep changing both what they want and how they will respond in order to devalue us.

      Once mine realized I believed they were narcissists and lying, there was no getting anything I wanted from them. In fact they were much more negative and seemed they felt they could never trust me again – probably rightly since I did not hesitate to wound them if they were at all abusive. I realized there was no purpose in continuing even a correspondence because they deliberately made sure I got nothing I wanted from the relationships. Midrangers can be very petty and vindictive. And not being aware or really smart, they sabotage their own manipulations by being unable to hide this petty vindictiveness.

      1. Sophia says:

        Windstorm 2,

        I have pointed out his tendencies and told him he fits a MMRN. He seems to ruminate over his mistakes and choices. Lots of self help books in his closet. I empathized in non judgmental ways.

        I became more and more aware of the manipulations and pointed them out as they happened. I still provided copious amounts of positive fuel. I guess I have to realize that you are right, they are unpredictable, petty, and vindictive.

        His kindness mask seems to be lost.

      2. Ramona I says:


    2. christine scantlebury says:

      Two weeks was the limit occasionally he could keep it going for three ,never more, no matter how many times you return,it’s always the same. The conviction of the prodigal Narc is academy award winning and sucked me in even when I knew I was being reeled back I went for another run in hell. Until one day I realised the person I thought I was in a relationship with ( a toxic mess of one I knew that) actually didn’t exist. There was no one home. It was getting so there was no one home at my house either just two zombies playing out some scene from a daymare. It was bloody scary when I realised I was building my crazy fucked up 10 years wasted world around a ghost. Shocking! I have been in shock for days . Only discovering all the stuff on line over the last year has led me to the exit door. There is just no connection with them. There is no one home

      1. Ramona I says:

        What was funny know to me is we was two sick toxic hot messess together. I just was not evil like him just playing there game over and over again made me sick as him. Just being in that type of environment make you sick as h .if your not already

    3. J says:

      You write: “Somehow it seems he doesn’t seem to have the ability to be nice when he needs to be.” I have seen this too. I’m sure most of it is unrestrained fury, but I actually believe there is a bit of self-destructiveness within Ns and it comes out often at the worst possible moments. I’ve seen a healthy amount of self-sabotage in my Midrangers.

  15. narc affair says:

    Ive had many what seem to be midrangers in my life.
    I know in a lot of the articles its mentioned how narcissists prey on empaths but im not so sure they dont prey on other narcissists. Depending on school of narc ive seen many lower greaters hook up with midrange narcs. I think in some respects different classes of narcs are better suited than an empath and a narc bc an empath will usually leave at some point whereas another narc would stick it out. They are familiar with the game and thrive in it. I do think narcs attract one another in relationships and friendships.

    1. Iris says:

      Yep, my brother in law is a lower greater and married my sister an upper mid ranger. He brought charm, money and status to the table and she her good looks, charm and elegance.

      It worked quite well for a long time, until he became to malignant and she won’t put up with that anymore. Now she grey rocks him while living her own life.

      It makes me wonder if relationships among narc are the way they are suppose to be. Like a sort of alternative universe. Leave them to their own devices.

      I could be perfectly happy with that, as long as they don’t get children.

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi iris…ive known a few narc narc relationships and they seem to last except the same school of narc maybe wouldnt. Most have been a higher school with a lesser school. They seem to feed off of each others fuel. They also have a lot in common how they think and their selfishness.
        My mum and stepdad have been together for almost 30 yrs and both are narcs. He seems a higher midranger and her a lower. She calls the shots most often and when she gets in her narcky moods he cowers down.
        I do think different classes of narcs seem better suited. Its too bad they cant leave empaths alone!

  16. Iris says:

    There is only one reason why I would almost consider ever dating a narc again and that is to get a proper Golden Period 😉

    When I hear HG speak of all the marvellous things narcs supposedly do during that period I feel cheated.

    Bronze didn’t even come close, because my midranger was such a cliché that he could only think of a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates and everything he said came straight out of a Harlequin novel.

    And he didn’t have the looks, the money, the charms or even the humour to make up for that.

    1. demoneater says:

      LOL! At least you see him clearly now.

    2. SuperXena says:

      Hello Iris,
      I think I have to disappoint you about this marvellous Golden Period.

      Just remember: the higher you go , the harder you fall.

      What comes after this exciting Golden Period is a hard fall….

      Be happy that you did not experience that….believe me..

      1. HG Tudor says:


      2. Iris says:

        Yes you’re completely right off course.

        I would like to order a tailor made narc relationship: a great Golden Period (lots of excitement, not so much romance), than a lot of arguing and ending with a quite “decard”. Hoovers are welcome when I’m bored.

        But alas, there isn’t such a thing as a perfect narc relationship.

        1. SuperXena says:

          Thank you Iris…
          ” I would like to order a tailor made narc relationship”
          “But alas, there isn’t such a thing as a perfect narc relationship.”

          Ha,ha …I do not think there is ..but one can always make a wish…and write it perhaps on the Christmas wish list? You never know!

    3. Blank says:

      Probably wasn’t a narc, just a Dutch guy 😉
      Well, let’s say a Dutch narc then. They are worse than others.
      Especially Dutch cerebrals.
      So I agree, I could do with a proper golden period also.

      1. Iris says:

        Haha yes the Dutch can be cheap, can’t they?

        He wasn’t a cerebral though (not smart enough), I think he was a victim narc mixed with a wannabe somatic narc. It ended up being a bit of a disappointment, a whole lot of nothing.

        So you’ve met Dutch narcs too. In what way are they different than British or American narcs?

      2. Blank says:

        Iris, I never dated Americans. An Englishman, yes, I even immigrated with him to the other side of the world. But he was a bore, no narc, he only needed a woman to look after his child and clean his house.
        I put up with Dutch narcs, because they live in the same country as I do :).

    4. christine scantlebury says:

      some of the writings here and comments are so bloody clever and insightful how the hell did we fall for it! Good to know humour can survivie the trauma

    5. Carol M says:

      Hello, Iris,
      Same here! All I got was crappy gifts, shallow compliments, clichés, whiny baby complaints like “my mom always warms the milk for me in the morning, yada yada yada”. And he was not attractive either: he was sloppy, thin, sickly pale and had poor personal hygiene.
      You should get a patent for this experiment: spot a narc, present yourself as steady source of positive fuel, get yourself a golden period and then plan your escape quickly, going No Contact before devaluation starts!

      1. Iris says:

        Excellent idea Carol!

        I already have plans for a “Golden day with HG“ to get your perfect Golden Period for a day.

        I just have to make him collaborate though, which will be a tiny bit of a problem I suspect 😉

        1. Carol M says:

          Yes, if you want a proper Golden Period, go for a Greater, I’d say! I know it is not much Christian of me, but I love the way he mocks Lessers and Mid-Rangers. All love from Brazil! <3

  17. Survivor says:

    Yet another most accurate portrayal, HG! I’m not sure if any other target has experienced this but if the N isn’t on the phone to one of their other supplies (usually the ones who will sit and listen and compliment and agree with the N) then the N will pretend to be on the phone. Their ‘pretend friend’ who agrees 100% with what the N is saying. You can always tell when the N is on the phone to their ‘pretend friend’ because they’ll say things (loud enough for you to hear) like “Exactly” “Just what I was thinking” “Aw thank you, yes it helps to get it off my chest” and “I’m ok, just tired of of you know who” blah blah blah lie lie lie. It’s amusing once you understand what they’re doing,and why they’re doing it. Once the phone call to their ‘pretend friend’ has concluded, the N, right on cue, gives you one of their famous smirks as if to say “My friend agrees with me but I’m not going to tell you what we discussed because it’s a secret, so there…..” LOLOLOL – looking forward to being introduced to the Greater Narcissist, HG. Lee is clearly an arsehole and Malcolm isn’t too bright either.

    1. Sophia says:

      Mine repeated conversations that supposedly went that way. He’d give full detail of my reactions and leave out what he’d done. He loved to tell me what everyone thought of his problems. Insert eye roll here.

  18. Iris says:

    This must be Malcolm jr.

    Hello Malcolm.

  19. Windstorm2 says:

    Ha, ha!! He looks like a midranger!

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