The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 9



19 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Icicles – No. 9”

  1. My comment nor question made the cut. Any way Thank you HG Tudor for the free knowledge . I’ll buy the books to be better prepared in the future . Time will tell . Time to focus on healing now and positive happy people . With appreciation.

  2. 12 months have passed, I’m back to life, no contact in place, I’m safe & sound. There are moments when I forget about the hurt, pain, and anger and I’m ready for forgiveness. These are the moments when I’m ready also to give up the thought that he was a narcissist, don’t want to bother myself with this anymore. I’m ready to accept the fact that we just couldn’t make it. I’m even able to admit that maybe I was wrong, maybe he was just frustrated, maybe I was not the one for him, maybe I should stop blaming him, maybe it was all not about narcissism at all… I start to watch the videos when he said ‘I love you much too much’, and it was so beautiful I can almost say he was such a good man…

    And then I just enter your site HG and read such a quote… It’s as if he said that to me yesterday. Your words punch me right in my face and I tell myself ‘WAKE UP!’. I watch the video now when he said ‘I hate you!’ and called me names a thousand times…

    It’s so easy to loose focus, it’s easy for your brain to remember the good times… But it’s so dangerous to enter this trap. And so hard to leave it.

      1. Blank were you abused by your Narc this way and have you been successful at No Contact, too? I ask because I have not.

      2. Geyser, I do not know if you still want my answer, but I’ll give it anyway. This particular icicle no, I do not relate. But I relate fully to Nat’s comment about how you somehow seem to forget the pain and think maybe it wasn’t that bad or maybe if you had acted different… . But it was bad, it was very bad, they fucked up my brain so bad with all the gaslighting. And the anxiety may be gone now, but it comes back any time I read something that gives me flashbacks.

        Yes, I have been successful at No Contact with the last narc, since August /September I think (apart from attending one of his concerts). I do no longer have Social Media accounts and I changed my telephone number. He doesn’t know where I live. It is over, no matter the hoovers he does, I will not contact him again.
        I divorced my narc husband, he is the father of our children and we will always be in touch therefore. Now that I know of NPD, I can cope with him, giving him no fuel and not responding to his provocations or silent treatments.

    1. Yes, I agree, never forget what they did to us and never minimise. I’m glad you’re getting over your one.

    2. Nat, I do the same thing. I have some horrible videos. It has helped me in my recovery to watch them.

  3. Hello HG , could you aswer one question ? .. I’ve read before . The moment your kind targets “us” we belong to that “person” .so my recent encounter with this one was to me super short 4 weeks . But he started 2 years ago but I wasn’t cooperating much back then so it was just friendly fuel I guess and a long lasting golden period but he did think I was into him i don’t know why . Now after we dated It was very short lived . Got triangulated with ex GF and sometimes mother , but because of the ex GF I had a clearer picture and shared it with him ,he manipulated it to him being the victim.And I had a miscarriage what was my fault off course . It was really a roller coaster silent treatments , disappear , untill I did want him to get his belongings . It just never happend, so I blocked him. I tried it again told me to leave him alone throw them away or keep it if I want and that i’m pshyco . He blocked me only on one thing. And ignored everything .So am I in a disengagement? . And If it this was short I don’t have to worry for an Hoover ?

  4. HG, my ex fiance as well as his sister and father were all narcs. Will they all try to hoover me or just him?

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