Little Acons – No. 6
A series of memes which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissistic parent towards their child resulting in the creation of the Adult Child of a Narcissist.
15 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 6”
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Ugotit
You did nothing wrong and do/did not deserve to be treated like that. I dont mean to be insensitive but are you sure you and your sister have the same biological father?
Thats a very good question my mother i don’t think cheated but she told me she was knocked out when I was born and when they brought me to her she insisted that’s not my baby due to the looks difference back when I was born they didn’t put those locks on the baby and lock the maternity ward and I always thought my whole life that they may have accidently switched babies I even vaguely remember reading in my early teens that the hospital I was born in mixed up some babies in the time period I was born on the other hand my mother has nine siblings and they all look completely different and my father has nine siblings and they all look different so I could come from another family or I can indeed be related to them I do resemble some of my fathers siblings
Thank you to everyone who commented on my post I will answer in bulk no I don’t look anything like my mother or father but my mother and father look alike my sister looks like my father and therefore also like my mother they are all short extremely thin with dark olive complexions and very long Barbara Streisand noses both my mother father and my sister I am very tall not thin built more voluptuous my skin is paper white and my nose is average not long I look like my mothers mother and my mother always despised her mother although I think she was a great lady I have also been told I act like one of my fathers brothers who my mother also hates this is the only theory I can come up with as to her distaste for me
In my experience, the problem child is usually the golden child. Why is this HG?
Sense of entitlement and has no accountability – leads to all manner of problems.
Ugotit. I think you got it. It wasn’t right to project that hate on you. Some people do that. Do/did you look like your mother at all? Maybe that’s the devil she said you would see. Ii is amazing how in grade two you could write a paper like that. Some kids are very intuitive and know when they are being treated different. For what reason though? We find out later why.
In my case brother but i no longer care bc its not my personality disorder its my mothers.
Ugotit
Thats an interesting point you raise. I see a lot of parents favouring what seems to be the under performing child if you will (no matter the age), and I thought in most cases it was more to focus attention to help that child improve in the areas they needed help because they felt they lacked confidence etc, and ended up indirectly neglecting the other because they assumed the performer appeared self sufficient and could handle themselves and required less guidance. Im sure this is what happens in a lot of cases and is well intentioned, but there are a lot where it seems excessive attention and praise is paid to the under performer (again, for lack of better word) that would have others scratching their heads, and when examined again, could indeed be a case of the golden child.
What you said makes perfect sense and I wish that hade been the case but frankly my mother never cared about me or my sisters academic achievement good or bad. However she did treat my sister like the golden child in the following ways.we always shared a bedroom and my mother would come in kiss my sister goodnight and tell her she loved her then walk past my bed and exit the room.I was not allowed to sit in the living room at night and watch TV my mother said on many occasions to get the hell out if the room cuz she couldn’t stand the sight of me.she told me when I get out of bed at night to use the restroom to not look in the mirror or I’d see the devils face staring back at me .my own friends asked me upon observance why does your mother hate you so much.my sister in the other hand could never do anything wrong and I often caught my mother staring at her with a lovesick look that a teenage boy would give to the girl he had a crush on.my sister tortured me throughout childhood and she even said to me a month ago you know I’ve always been the favorite and I said yes I know I’ve always known I even write a paper in second grade titled I wish my mother didn’t hate me.the only thing that makes sense is that my sister looked like our father and I didn’t and I looked like my mothers mother who she hated
Sorry, Ugotit. You deserved to be loved. That was very sad to read.
My therapist told me for the first time ever Friday morning that my mother was a narc this is one of the reasons I was able to go no contact Friday cuz I know I have deep issues I need to work on my sister was the golden child and my mother always said why can’t I be like her but ironically I was the straight a student my sister was a c or f student I never got in trouble she always did I was easy she was difficult I’m not saying any child should he favored but I’ve never understood why my mother preferred the child who most parents wouldn’t
Interesting! In my family I was the over achiever, the good student, the one who obeyed rules much more so than my smaller sister and still she was the golden child. I’ve always put it down to me being an easy target because of my sensitivity and my anxious nature. Also I’m the oldest one, I was there first to abuse and I’ve always had much more in common with my father so she abused what she didn’t understand somehow.
Ugotit, was your sister also difficult in her relationship with your mom, or only in life in general but had a good relationship with her?
I think many narc parents sabotage their children’s lives by encouraging failure (treating the bad behaved child as golden child) and disapproving success (making the achiever the scapegoat). It is their envy, their competition with their own children. All that while gathering fuel triangulating them against each other.
I also think looks play a role in the distribution of the roles.
Now we all know: triangulation. My mother and grandmother did that to me, too.
This is the most offensive. I grew up with many female friends who were treated abusively while their older brothers were given praises, undue adulation, respect….. ugh… I could have an adopted child and a child of my own and would not be able to treat them differently. This is just awful. Ive been meaning to ask this question. Is disgust fuel? It’s difficult to make me jealous, I don’t like to show anger. My MMRN seemed to be able to evoke my disgust many different ways. From an IPPS how potent is disgust fuel wise?