Poll : What Is Your View About the #metoo Movement?

POLLHG WANTSTO KNOW

The #metoo movement is prominent and shows no sign of disappearing soon. Originating from the early disclosures about sexual harassment and misconduct by certain individuals in the entertainment industry ( A Very Hollywood Narcissist and A Very Deflecting Narcissist ) this movement has gathered pace with scores of allegations from (mostly) women towards individuals in the film, television, political and entertainment sectors. Individuals have been identified and subjected to extensive disclosures through the media, particular events have come under scrutiny (The President Club’s dinner in the UK being one example) and the impact continues to spread. Rallies have taken place, speeches given and people encouraged to come forward and confirm that they too have experienced unwelcome sexual behaviour towards them. The allegations have gone beyond the famous with millions confirming they have had similar experiences, ranging in seriousness and frequency.

As I have detailed in previous articles, our kind are evident in many guises throughout all of this. From perpetrator, to opportunistic “victim”, to hypocrite through to puppeteers you will see our kind appearing left, right and centre.

How do you regard this movement? Is it about time the perpetrators were outed in the media and hanged by public opinion, losing jobs and contracts? Is it the platform from which more might be achieved in terms of gender equality in pay and conditions, causing a huge shift in cultural attitudes in the way the sexes speak and behave with one another? Has it signalled the end of “playful flirtation” between people? Are people making too much of it, hollering from the rooftops because a hand was placed on a knee once at a diner or is it right that all unwelcome actions and words are identified, exposed and punished? Perhaps you feel that too many are using it as an opportunity to virtue signal and even make false allegations?

Choose the options which sum up your views (you may choose as many as are applicable) before voting and as usual do expand on your thoughts in the comments.

Thank you for participating.

 

What is your view of the #metoo movement?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...
2+
Advertisements

30 thoughts on “Poll : What Is Your View About the #metoo Movement?”

  1. It is about time the shit hit the fan but due process should be followed. Is there a hidden agenda? Probably for some people, but there are true victims out there and I hope they are heard and get some resolution/justice that will help them move forward with their lives.

    9+
  2. Controversial poll, HG! But I love it. My opinion will probably be unpopular but I intend to be honest whether right or wrong.

    I advocate the individuals finding a voice. I’ve been silenced my whole life. These women are brave.

    I do not think this will make a difference at all in pay scale for women vs. men. As long as individuals want fame and are willing to accept less because of that then the pay discrepancy will stay the same. There isn’t just one form of prostitution and I’m guilty of that myself. I stayed in a relationship too long once because he could work on my Ford. Sex for a good mechanic. That’s prostitution and I did that. A favor for a favor.

    I do think individuals will still get away with the behavior unless someone above them changes the standards. Fish stinks from the head after all.

    If Harvey Weinstein patted my ass I would be disgusted and appalled. If Brad Pitt patted my ass I would think I was hot and he just couldn’t keep his hands off of me because of my total hotness. (yes, a double standard, just being honest)

    Finally, we are a country that gushes praise onto Hugh Hefner. We call him a pioneer. He provided the ultimate dream to men…women that were so submissive they could behave any way they wanted and women would do whatever the men wanted Some of the same people using their voices now praised Hugh Hefner, even posed on the cover of his pioneering magazine and he exploited women as a career. Yes, the women gave consent. However, some of the revelations by individuals today are professed to be consensual by the victim themselves. Double standards abound.

    97% of the allegations I support 1000% and fully believe the victims. Full disclosure…I am guilty of eye fucking men due to wanting power. I had no power and no voice growing up with my pedophile stepfather and have behaved in unhealthy ways to overcome that. I don’t do that anymore but I have. It’s taken a lot of years to admit that I had a part in the outcomes of some of my relationships. But, sometimes I was guilty of setting it up. Does that absolve the men? Absolutely not. I’m just admitting the part I played.

    And finally, finally, it gives me great internal joy when these bastards face their deeds publicly. A part of me feels like it is my stepfather on the sword even though he is dead.

    8+
    1. Excellent point 12345 on how plenty of us would perceive a difference between a Playful Brad Pat vs a Perv Paw from Harvey.

      I have a friend who stayed way too long in a relationship because her man did an excellent job keeping her lawn mowed. She’d count the nail holes in the ceiling just to keep her hedges looking like an amusement park. So don’t feel too guilty 12345 … a good mechanic is hard to find.

      4+
      1. Ok. Confession time. I once when much younger stayed in a relationship for awhile because this guy I was seeing worked at the local cinema and I was in awe of the mechanics of helping out with the films.

        3+
      2. I can see the appeal there Catherine… romantic evenings in the projection booth… the smell of popcorn in the air as he demonstrates his skills.

        What was the most memorable film you saw as his young lady assistant?

        3+
      3. Ha ha yes, there was this kind of appeal in it. I think I was more impressed with the surroundings, the machinery and the film itself than with him unfortunately. It was an independent cinema and since I only dated him for a few months in the late 80’s when I was around 17 I think it aired some older films as well. I remember seeing two films I loved and still love. Out of Africa (wonderful Meryl Streep) and telling enough Dangerous Liaisons (I love John Malkovich in that film). Love and love lost, manipulations and exotic locations; I’ll need my brain to be reprogrammed;)

        1+
      1. I understand K. I’m at the age where I see nothing wrong with a little love pat from time-to-time.

        But I respect that 12345 influenced me to think about how much “the package” influences how well we receive the gift.

        I frequent a variety of businesses and factories to see my clients. Some of the comments I have to deal with are downright vulgar. But she got me to really thinking. Would I be so offended if Brad Pitt (or Zac Efron or Sean Connery to cover all generations… throw David Attenborough in there just to be safe) was my perpetrator… I don’t think I’d so much mind.

        I’m ashamed.

        2+
      2. 12345 had an excellent point about Brad Pitt, and I agree, nobody wants a perv paw from Harvey or Jabba the Hutt, however, Sean Connery is a different story.

        There is no shame in it, BKK. Enjoy the fantasy!

        1+
  3. It’s about time! But due process is essential. That’s what my country was founded upon, so everyone deserves a chance to have his/her say. We should listen with an open mind, without judgement until the crucial facts have been revealed.

    Alhough every complaint needs to be taken seriously and treated with respect from the start of the first claim. I’m thankful that more light is being shed on this issue. I recently had a client make many forward and very inappropriate remarks about what he’d like to do to me. I would share his lines, but considering a chance that he might be on here, I best not reveal. (Surely he has to at least wonder if he doesn’t have some narcissistic tendencies?)

    His employer would more than frown upon his behavior, and I know the HR director personally. She would be mortified if I were to let her know the ways he made me uncomfortable. But I tried to handle his remarks in the most professional manner I could summon and portray. I pretended a bit, but I didn’t have to feign embarrassment.

    I’m pretty certain this client is all talk, not that he wouldn’t partake if I actually agreed to what he wanted to do. But he didn’t touch me inappropriately. I felt as though I made my position clear. But I turned the other cheek.

    I simply didn’t want to bring him harm or put his livelihood in jeapordy. Though I certainly hope that anyone who feels threatened will have the courage to speak up. The #metoo movement makes telling easier, so therefore, I eagerly support its positive effects.

    But we are in a mess over here HG. Two recent school shootings have left our country with even more to contemplate. No one seems to know all of the answers on how to bring about protection to the people while protecting that infamous 2nd Amendment.

    I wish I knew the exact measures needed. I’m a gun owner who knows we undoubtedly need more gun control. No child, especially one with mental illness, should have access to a gun. And certainly, no child should perish at the hands of a deranged shooter. We are mourning and in shock of these horrific tragedies.

    For anyone who has been the victim of abuse or violence, may your heart heal and your soul be blessed.

    2+
  4. When I take into consideration the recent sentencing of former U.S.A. Gymnastics Doctor, Larry Nassar, to 175 years in prison after an unprecedented 156 victims came forward to give statements at his trial, along with statistics that state 1 in 10 children will be sexually abused by their 18th birthday (1 in 7 girls and 1 in 25 boys before age 18), I find this movement absolutely necessary and so be it if for a period of time it is excessive in order to get a foothold for facilitate real change. I think “minor incidents” will get filtered out from what is true abuse of power and trust that damaged victims.
    In my office setting I’ve heard a couple of men express concern that would they now have to be worried how they conducted office meetings with another professional woman. Should they never allow themselves to be alone with a woman anymore? That kind of thing. The funny thing is, the men who are voicing these concerns would never be the men who would abuse their power and take advantage to hurt someone.
    It’s like here when very hurt and raw readers, who lash out when they’ve had enough, start to question if they are the Narc.

    4+
    1. Very appropriate observations, Clarece. Those statistics say it all really.

      And yes, I understand how this affects men in everyday life. I was greeted by a client a few weeks ago and he innocently hugged me. He quickly backed up and apologized with his hands held up in the air. I told him not to worry. He won’t end up on the news because of me.

      But I believe that even our own vice-president has a similar policy. Isn’t there a so-called Pence-Rule to where he will not put himself in a professional position to where he’s alone with a woman?

      0
      1. I hear ya! Interestingly enough, with regard to the “Pence-Rule”, when I was in my early 30’s, I worked for a large, subrogation law firm. The Senior Partner’s son was also a Managing Partner. He was close to my age and a very devout, strict, Fundamentalist Christian. He was married and still is. He had a rule to never take a female customer, employee, vendor out for a lunch or dinner alone. There always had to be another person present. He would simply say you can’t allow for temptation to enter if you don’t invite it in. It’s 15 years later and he’s still happily married and very successful. I do not think he is a Narc. His father who I was the Personal Assistant for, most definitely was, which I pieced together while being on this blog. At the time though, I never had come across anyone who adhered to such a stringent policy on that. Mainly because my prior job was in a sales office with four, older men and there were many times I hung out with them one on one at times during trade shows, lunches, etc. Nothing ever happened so it was crazy to me that someone was being so hyper-vigilant.

        1+
  5. I voted:
    – It is being hijacked by certain individuals for their own aims
    – It is a smokescreen and is part of a different agenda

    Many people are using this movement for their own purposes such as to play the victim role, to get fuel or to get revenge. IMO, this movement is counterproductive for legitimate victims. Nobody knows who the true victims are anymore.

    I also think this is a smokescreen and I would like to know more about the political agenda behind this movement.

    4+
  6. I do think it’s about time that women (and men) that haven’t had a voice before are allowed to be heard; I think that something good does come out of this movement. Harassment in any form should never be acceptable and passed by. Sexual harassment at work as a demeaning means of control or as something that needs to be suffered for women longing for careers should never have to occur. But they do and we all know about it. So why now? And to what purpose beyond the obvious one of women speaking up suddenly?

    Here in Sweden it’s been a rollercoaster as well with the #metoo movement; public heads have rolled here too; famous actors and television broadcasters that were before somehow untouchable have lost their jobs and their livelihoods, but there’s also been quite a few women too in those ranks. We do believe in equality here I guess;) Still I think there’s no need in publicly disclosing it all in the media; it turns into a formidable witch hunt in the end and I feel a bit uncomfortable with that.

    2+
  7. Tarana Burke was a guest on a political show last week and said she has R Kelly on her list to go after. I googled R Kelly and he is a bad guy.

    2+
  8. I chose that it was about time these allegations come out and are taken seriously but i also chose that some may be doing so for personal gains or even revenge using false claims or overexaggerated ones.
    I think these allegations have to be carefully looked into before being publicized bc it could ruin a persons reputation and career if even one false claim becomes public. Usually where theres smoke theres fire and if several victims are coming out of the woodwork theres a good chance theres something to it.
    Im glad victims are coming forth and their stories being taken seriously and looked into bc for years women in particular were being sexually harassed and given ultimatums to do things if they wanted to further their careers. In this day in age theres no room for that kind of behaviour.
    The internet has made knowledge so much more widespread and people now know about psycholigical disorders like narcissism and we know our rights as well. Its given leverage to coming forth and taking a stand against this form of abuse. As a result people will be more mindful of inappropriate behaviours.
    Where it gets sticky is when dealing with narcissists that play the victim bc they cry wolf and ruin it for the true victims of sexual harassment.
    It all goes back to making sure allegations are properly and thoroughly investigated so theres no one wrongfully accused in public.

    0
    1. Narc Affair, I know of a young woman who falsely accused the father of their daughter… just for revenge. It’s horrible how just an accusation can ruin a young man’s life.

      And I agree that the magnitude of numbers is a good indicator. That’s what I thought about Bill Cosby’s denial. It seemed plausible, but not against 50-plus women!

      2+
  9. I think it’s me-too-I-wanna-get-in-the-spotlight-too. I was in show biz for thirty three years, in my salad years, and a simple no or indication that an advance would not be welcomed was sufficient to get my point across. In one instance I was fired from a tv show for rebuffing the advances of the star but I said boo-hoo for a week then found another show to work on. Why do these me-tooers have so little personal strength and power? Why did they not have enough self esteem and common sense to size up a potential problem and sidestep it? If Harvey Weinstein invited me up to a hotel room to talk about a part I would not go without my agent. If the meeting got cancelled once that stipulation was made known I wouldn’t lose sleep over it and would see it for what it was. Some of these cases do merit prosecution but a lot of them could have been avoided with some savvy and immediate calling out. Somehow this whole sexual abuse thing has become a badge of honor. That’s the part that bothers me. What the sexual abuse stories are being used for. It’s become fuel for media outlets trolling for content and B list talent looking for more attention.

    4+
    1. You bring up a lot of good points Horseyak. We need to be teaching girls to not put themselves on compromising positions… to always be smart.

      I bet you saw a lot of interesting things during your “salad years.”

      1+
  10. Didn’t find anything corresponding with my views among the variants. What can be done in result of this wave of exposure (and also this site aids to this goal) – the narcissism can be treated differently in society. The awareness can be higher, the punishment can be established for abuse, abuse known and detected by more therapists, more narcies wounded to be pushed into treatment etc.
    It’s interesting whether it will happen. And also we can contribute now using the synergy with the moment.

    0
  11. I can see the pros and cons of that approach. You got me to remembering also Clarece. An older male client of mine once told me that he didn’t think men and women could be friends. I told him that I disagree, that I have several male friends and our relationships have stayed platonic. He said, “Let me rephrase. Women can be friends with men, but men can’t be friends with women.”

    He went on to say that all men are hunters. While the female might have platonic intentions, he warned that the male will always be looking for an opening. He said the only exception is a boy and girl that grew up as friends, more like brother and sister. They MIGHT be able to pull it off, he said, but even then… the man will be looking for her weak moment, for that time when she’s down and puts her head on his shoulder to cry.

    Wowzers! I had never had anybody lay it out quite like that. We women know we can handle ourselves, but since I now have major trust issues… his words of wisdom scare me!

    Add thinking about your boss’s son, and it does make one stop and ponder. It’s always refreshing to hear of a faithful man. Actually, it’s encouraging. Thanks for sharing that Clarece.

    2+
    1. BKK,

      I used to think men that said this were cynical or just didn’t have female friends. The reality of it is, men are wired different than we are. I’m sure there are rare exceptions to the rule, I’m just not as idealistic anymore.

      Especially after one of my best guy friends hit on me in a not so respectful way. He had been my friend for a few years, still is in a distant way. It really bothers me that now I have to question his intentions.

      0
  12. If only the MeToo movement would acknowledge the one common denominator, ALL NARCISSISTS. A perfect opportunity to open discussion and promote awareness, yet no one seems to notice.

    3+
  13. I chose I wonder where it is going to end, and what the unintended consequences will be.

    For those in the entertainment business, there are already unintended consequences, in that so many people’s employment are intertwined with that of the accused perpetrators.

    I’m happy to see people rightfully accusing their abusers. I think that what I have mentioned, though, about employment being conditional with the well being of the abuser, is what stops many from speaking out. I think it is also the reason Bill Cosby was one of the first finally accused, since so few people now count on him for employment.

    And then there are others who are quite open about their assholishness, such as Andy Dick (What a perfect moniker for him!), and Louis CK. Well, there are Red Flags and Klaxon Blaring with them, but some naive person will get caught up there, too. Do they get a pass for being up front? Not any more, even though they have not tried to hide. They of course, deflect if not deny.

    I have a friend who was a child actor, and I have heard stories about even those actors who had a wonderful public face. She told me that adolescence in show biz was such a minefield, she no longer enjoyed it, and wanted out. Meanwhile her mother is berating her for “not being confident enough” to do a requested wardrobe change in an open conference room, in front of 4 men, auditioning her for a small movie role. “You’ll never get the part if you act shy!” while my friend just wants to maintain her modesty with bodily changes that she is struggling to accept.

    The current/former child victims are the ones who get the most of my sympathy. They likely had no choice, where as the rest of us, had at some time weighed the pros and cons of a situation, whether to accept or reject abuse, to report or not, based on what our perceived outcome would be.

    Those who read here, are more aware than the general public, what the perpetrators are. We also know more abuser will come along, and as long as their facade remains in place, they will get away with their misdeeds.

    So, there is a need to rip the lambs pelt from the wolf’s back, in all areas of life, not just entertainment industry.

    If I had had children, this site would be a required course in my homeschooling curriculum.

    0

Leave a Reply