Sins of the Empath : Truth Seeker


Truth seeker. The pursuit of the truth. A noble ideal indeed is it not? It sounds as if you ought to be armed with your sword of justice and your shield of purity as you make your way through the badlands in order to find the truth. In fact, this is what you, as an empathic individual is unwittingly doing when you become engaged with our kind.

You are all truth seekers. The empath, the co-dependent and especially the super empath. You want the truth and you will apply your indefatigable spirit to acquiring it without understanding the toll that this misguided folly will have on you as whole. The need to be told the truth, to find it and to know it is a core empathic trait and as you would expect, it leads you into the trap of being ensnared by our kind and is heavily exploited.

Being a truth seeker is a further sin of the empath. Those who are empathic tell the truth, but that is because of that other empathic sin, honesty. The empath must always establish the truth of a situation, the truth at the heart of an individual and in so doing the allows them to reconcile their own truths.

The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.

Take, for instance, at the outset of the narcissistic dynamic, when we begin our seduction of the empath. He or she wishes to know that this wonderful person is true in their intentions and whilst the empath might be pleased that others talk about how enamoured the narcissist is about them, or how the narcissist seems utterly smitten, the empath must establish the truth form the narcissist him or herself. This of course opens the empath up to the charm, magnetism and allure of the scintillating narcissist as we are only too happy to tell you what you want to hear, to show you what you want to see and to do what you would have us do.

Oblivious to who you are dealing with (until otherwise educated) the empath will, through his or trusting nature and propensity to deal honestly with others, accept what the narcissist says and does. That amounts to the truth. The narcissist is skilled through his mirroring to reflect back at you your own truths and thus as you seek the truth, you are shown it. What you do not realise is that you are looking at your own truth, but since it is your truth and not ours, it is so utterly convincing. The adoration that you exhibit towards us is mirrored and reflect back at you. You wish to seek the truth of that adoration and what do you see? An adoration that is on the same par as your own – how can that then not appear to be the truth. In seeking the truth but looking for it from one who lies so effectively and defrauds with ease, all you find is your own truth, but you fail to recognise it as such and thus you feel you have found the truth and you are convinced that what you see is genuine love, is genuine passion and is genuine adoration.

You might liken it to a person who carries with him or her one half of a precious gem and seeks the other half. This person encounters a mirror, but does not know that it is a mirror and thinks that they see the other half stood before them since it looks so convincing, yet try to touch or grasp or find any depth or substance to this supposed other half and it will not be there. This is what eventually happens when devaluation occurs as you see the reflection and it dawns on you that all you are looking at is what you already had, being made to appear like something more.

Thus in wanting to find the truth and being shown your truth and not ours, you are utterly convinced as to the legitimacy of our love, passion and desire for you. Your truth seeking has made you vulnerable to our deceitful manipulations from the very beginning.

Yet, the matter worsens. Your pursuit of the truth leaves you vulnerable to perhaps one of the most confusing and bewildering aspects of the narcissistic dynamic, the need to establish the truth during devaluation. Once the array of machinations are wheeled out against you, the gas lighting commences, the lies, the insults, the intimidation and so much more is used against you, your quest for the truth has you stuck in the quagmire of our manipulations for a considerable time.

Firstly, you do not accept that this monster which now prevents you from getting a good night’s sleep, erupts at the slightest criticism, becomes demanding over apparently nothing, is the person who you fell in love with or who loves you. This is not the truth that stands before you. The truth must surely have been the person who first seduced you. You know that to be the case because you sought the truth then during the seduction, you saw it and you established it. It is that magical, wonderful, adoring person who seems to have vanished and in its stead you now see some grotesque version of the person you love. That is not the truth that shouts at you and belittles you, that is not the truth that turns each time you want to go out with your friends into a battle and that is not the truth that turns its back on you every night in bed. You want to find the true us, the one you saw and established during seduction and that need, that desire and that pursuit of this truth means you remain in situ, not escaping and allowing our abuses to rain down on you again and again.

Secondly, you experience the downside of our pathological lies during the devaluation. You were lied to, naturally, during the seduction, but that does not matter. You thought it to be the truth and you established it as so and besides, those lies felt good didn’t they? Yet know, the lies wound and hurt, they scar and mark, as we tell you lies about what we have been doing, where we have been and who with. You are no fool, or so you think, for you have followed us, had others report to you and you know the truth of what has been happening. Now you must establish that truth with us. You must seek the truth from our lips without you realising that we will never do such a thing since to do so would be to cede control to you. You have not yet grasped who you are dealing with and thus you remain unaware that we use lies to achieve so much of our aims. Those lies are used to make you dizzy, make you cry, make you exhausted and we keep on going and will not concede to the truth.

How many times have you heard yourself say:-

“Just tell me the truth, that is all I want you to do.”

“Please, stop lying, just tell the truth.”

“If you would only tell the truth.”

“I want the truth.”

“Give me the truth. Please I am begging you.”

Are those phrases and those of a similar kind echoing about your mind now?

Your desire to get to the truth, to hold the truth in front of us and get us to acknowledge it means you become drawn into the circular arguments, the endless arguments, the denial, the switching and the deflections which leave you shattered, mystified and spent. Why can he not see the truth when I do? The Toxic Logic of course, but you are not privy to such information at that time and so you gird your loins, climb back on your steed and ride out once again in the pursuit of the truth. It is no surprise that you then gallop into the swamp and become bogged down by lies, untruths and mendacity.

Thirdly, during devaluation it is often the case that you will turn to others to seek confirmation that the truth you once witnessed is indeed the truth and you can find it once again. You seek the truth from our coterie, our minions and our lieutenants. You go to them and need to ascertain that we are surely a decent person, who is loving and caring are we not? You walk straight into the facade and its false truth. You hear the answers which you want to hear, we are lauded for our generosity, we are praised for our kindness, we are complimented on our good humour, easy charm and reliability. There it is, you have sought the truth once again and you have found it, yet you fail to recognise it as the false truth and the false hope which it engenders. Instead of trying to escape from this devaluation, you remain in place, taking comfort from that the facade has told you and redoubling your efforts to find the truth with us. Thus, you remain and exhaust yourself tilting against the windmill that is us when you think you are slaying the dragon.

Accordingly, your empathic trait of being a truth seeker makes you vulnerable to our seduction and extremely vulnerable to the effects of our mind games, manipulations and habitual lying. Were this where it ends, but your quest for the truth has a further blow to administer to you.

The empathic sin of being a truth seeker heightens your susceptibility to the post escape and post discard hoovers. When we open those shutters and allow the bright, shining light of the golden period to fall upon your face you instantly see that the truth has returned, that false truth which you were shown what feels like such a long time ago. Yet, all is not lost, the truth has returned, it is in your grasp and all you need to do seek it out and embrace it is to return to our fold. By seeking our the truth once again you fall prey to our hoovers and our control over you is increased again.

The desire to seek the truth is noble indeed but seeking it from one who scorns the truth and takes refuge amongst deceit, lies and fraudulent intent can only result in this character trait of yours gaining the epitaph of being a sin of the empath.


14 thoughts on “Sins of the Empath : Truth Seeker”

  1. Seeking the truth was by far my biggest sin as an empath….all I wanted was the truth.

    It just about broke me looking for it. Crazy stuff for sure.

  2. “The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.”

    Yes.I still want the truth. All of it.

  3. I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Yog!!!
    I don’t care how pissed off or hurt it makes me feel!!!!

    But you are the only narcissist that I ever got anything even close to the truth from.

    And it surprises me, still, that I actually am getting truth from a narcissist.

    But, you have no dog in my fight, so, it doesn’t hurt you or derail any of your plans.

    I’ll light a bonfire in your honor………..

    Thanks for the truth, HG!!!!!

    (throws more lies into the fire, watches them burn away……)

  4. Do “normals” not care about the truth?
    It took me way too long to figure out that everything coming out of his mouth was just lie after lie after lie. What almost made me go insane was constantly trying to understand the why behind everything. To understand what he claimed I needed to understand about him, me, and relationships in order for us to be happy, which was the biggest lie of them all. Because there was nothing that would ever make him happy and none of the BS coming out of his mouth would ever make any sense. That’s the only truth there was to find.

  5. I wanted the truth and since he was not able (refused) to give it to me I ended up being a spy, digging out all the dirt my self. Then I put it all in a letter …. right after last encounter I sent it and of course I got the famous ST…. No reply of course. I also sent it to his new woman. I called him out on all the fraud, lies and the best part on his failures as a man and father. Wished him a fantastic life…
    7 mo later and I have no idea where he is, what he is doing because I stopped looking. But for sure he has the same job, doing the same things, same rituals and continuing ruining people’s life’s.. but not mine. The aftermath is horrendous and I have scars for life. My biggest mistake was not to get the truth .. it actually gave me some kind of closure. I will however never understand what happened with the illusion or my sanity. The red flags didn’t stop me … I will eventually forgive myself but still struggling. How can he be so cruel, twisted and sick… I loved him, I took care of him…. now I take care of my self! I will never forget the first week we meet when he said “I need you to need me” …. I didn’t need him but he made sure I finally did… that was my downfall. Go and find the truth and then believe what you find.. never doubt yourself again. My life is drama free, debt free and fun. His… same crap and more to come …

  6. Once I realised what I was dealing with, all my empathetic traits just went off, like they never existed. I did not want answers, or to exert my righteousness or anything. I did pity him from time to time.
    Still I wanted him to suffer but, I never did anything to extract revenge either. I knew this was a battle I’d never win, unfortunately.
    I just kept working on my self esteem issues.

    It still makes me utterly happy, if someone humiliates him and the news reaches me though.
    It just makes my day.

    I hope I get over this too and his existence won’t matter anymore. Hopefully.

    1. The same thing happened to me. Once I realized what I was dealing with, everything shut off. I no longer cared where he actually went, or what he was doing, or who he was with. I knew I would never get a straight, honest answer. I used the times when he was away to work on myself. Build myself back up. Interestingly, once I knew what I was dealing with, I started to deteriorate physically. As if once all of the empathic traits were gone, I was on borrowed time.

  7. Do we? We say we want the truth but when it is told to us or shown to us through their warnings and actions it does not deter us. We explain it away and go into denial instead. We seem to only want the truth after there is no hope or future because it allows us to lay the blame at their feet and rail at the injustice, or to validate whether or not we really did mean something to them. This is evidenced by the number that would still be with them had they not been disengaged from and those still seeking involvement. When they are making us feel good we care little about the truth.

    1. That’s a tough reality to face but reality nonetheless. You offer many insightful facts, Narc Angel. I searched for the truth, yet I spent countless hours trying to justify his suspicious behaviors because I didn’t want to give up the dream.

      Even once I realized he was a nightmare, I still wanted a part of him in my life. I allowed him to cost me precious sleep, worrying and wondering… as if he had been some prize lost.

      But I’m starting to see that they are pretty hard to lose. The more I try to get away, the more he makes his presence known. It’s a sick cycle for sure, but with patience and hard work, hopefully everybody will learn how to take a tuck and roll from the hamster wheel and break free for good.

      Your post is a clear reminder of how much of our healing is in our own power.

  8. “This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.” – HG Tudor

    You have an excellent way of throwin’ it down. Actually, this whole article is a nice display of your talent… even if your words are a bit hard to accept.


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