Sins of the Empath : Truth Seeker


Truth seeker. The pursuit of the truth. A noble ideal indeed is it not? It sounds as if you ought to be armed with your sword of justice and your shield of purity as you make your way through the badlands in order to find the truth. In fact, this is what you, as an empathic individual is unwittingly doing when you become engaged with our kind.

You are all truth seekers. The empath, the co-dependent and especially the super empath. You want the truth and you will apply your indefatigable spirit to acquiring it without understanding the toll that this misguided folly will have on you as whole. The need to be told the truth, to find it and to know it is a core empathic trait and as you would expect, it leads you into the trap of being ensnared by our kind and is heavily exploited.

Being a truth seeker is a further sin of the empath. Those who are empathic tell the truth, but that is because of that other empathic sin, honesty. The empath must always establish the truth of a situation, the truth at the heart of an individual and in so doing the allows them to reconcile their own truths.

The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.

Take, for instance, at the outset of the narcissistic dynamic, when we begin our seduction of the empath. He or she wishes to know that this wonderful person is true in their intentions and whilst the empath might be pleased that others talk about how enamoured the narcissist is about them, or how the narcissist seems utterly smitten, the empath must establish the truth form the narcissist him or herself. This of course opens the empath up to the charm, magnetism and allure of the scintillating narcissist as we are only too happy to tell you what you want to hear, to show you what you want to see and to do what you would have us do.

Oblivious to who you are dealing with (until otherwise educated) the empath will, through his or trusting nature and propensity to deal honestly with others, accept what the narcissist says and does. That amounts to the truth. The narcissist is skilled through his mirroring to reflect back at you your own truths and thus as you seek the truth, you are shown it. What you do not realise is that you are looking at your own truth, but since it is your truth and not ours, it is so utterly convincing. The adoration that you exhibit towards us is mirrored and reflect back at you. You wish to seek the truth of that adoration and what do you see? An adoration that is on the same par as your own – how can that then not appear to be the truth. In seeking the truth but looking for it from one who lies so effectively and defrauds with ease, all you find is your own truth, but you fail to recognise it as such and thus you feel you have found the truth and you are convinced that what you see is genuine love, is genuine passion and is genuine adoration.

You might liken it to a person who carries with him or her one half of a precious gem and seeks the other half. This person encounters a mirror, but does not know that it is a mirror and thinks that they see the other half stood before them since it looks so convincing, yet try to touch or grasp or find any depth or substance to this supposed other half and it will not be there. This is what eventually happens when devaluation occurs as you see the reflection and it dawns on you that all you are looking at is what you already had, being made to appear like something more.

Thus in wanting to find the truth and being shown your truth and not ours, you are utterly convinced as to the legitimacy of our love, passion and desire for you. Your truth seeking has made you vulnerable to our deceitful manipulations from the very beginning.

Yet, the matter worsens. Your pursuit of the truth leaves you vulnerable to perhaps one of the most confusing and bewildering aspects of the narcissistic dynamic, the need to establish the truth during devaluation. Once the array of machinations are wheeled out against you, the gas lighting commences, the lies, the insults, the intimidation and so much more is used against you, your quest for the truth has you stuck in the quagmire of our manipulations for a considerable time.

Firstly, you do not accept that this monster which now prevents you from getting a good night’s sleep, erupts at the slightest criticism, becomes demanding over apparently nothing, is the person who you fell in love with or who loves you. This is not the truth that stands before you. The truth must surely have been the person who first seduced you. You know that to be the case because you sought the truth then during the seduction, you saw it and you established it. It is that magical, wonderful, adoring person who seems to have vanished and in its stead you now see some grotesque version of the person you love. That is not the truth that shouts at you and belittles you, that is not the truth that turns each time you want to go out with your friends into a battle and that is not the truth that turns its back on you every night in bed. You want to find the true us, the one you saw and established during seduction and that need, that desire and that pursuit of this truth means you remain in situ, not escaping and allowing our abuses to rain down on you again and again.

Secondly, you experience the downside of our pathological lies during the devaluation. You were lied to, naturally, during the seduction, but that does not matter. You thought it to be the truth and you established it as so and besides, those lies felt good didn’t they? Yet know, the lies wound and hurt, they scar and mark, as we tell you lies about what we have been doing, where we have been and who with. You are no fool, or so you think, for you have followed us, had others report to you and you know the truth of what has been happening. Now you must establish that truth with us. You must seek the truth from our lips without you realising that we will never do such a thing since to do so would be to cede control to you. You have not yet grasped who you are dealing with and thus you remain unaware that we use lies to achieve so much of our aims. Those lies are used to make you dizzy, make you cry, make you exhausted and we keep on going and will not concede to the truth.

How many times have you heard yourself say:-

“Just tell me the truth, that is all I want you to do.”

“Please, stop lying, just tell the truth.”

“If you would only tell the truth.”

“I want the truth.”

“Give me the truth. Please I am begging you.”

Are those phrases and those of a similar kind echoing about your mind now?

Your desire to get to the truth, to hold the truth in front of us and get us to acknowledge it means you become drawn into the circular arguments, the endless arguments, the denial, the switching and the deflections which leave you shattered, mystified and spent. Why can he not see the truth when I do? The Toxic Logic of course, but you are not privy to such information at that time and so you gird your loins, climb back on your steed and ride out once again in the pursuit of the truth. It is no surprise that you then gallop into the swamp and become bogged down by lies, untruths and mendacity.

Thirdly, during devaluation it is often the case that you will turn to others to seek confirmation that the truth you once witnessed is indeed the truth and you can find it once again. You seek the truth from our coterie, our minions and our lieutenants. You go to them and need to ascertain that we are surely a decent person, who is loving and caring are we not? You walk straight into the facade and its false truth. You hear the answers which you want to hear, we are lauded for our generosity, we are praised for our kindness, we are complimented on our good humour, easy charm and reliability. There it is, you have sought the truth once again and you have found it, yet you fail to recognise it as the false truth and the false hope which it engenders. Instead of trying to escape from this devaluation, you remain in place, taking comfort from that the facade has told you and redoubling your efforts to find the truth with us. Thus, you remain and exhaust yourself tilting against the windmill that is us when you think you are slaying the dragon.

Accordingly, your empathic trait of being a truth seeker makes you vulnerable to our seduction and extremely vulnerable to the effects of our mind games, manipulations and habitual lying. Were this where it ends, but your quest for the truth has a further blow to administer to you.

The empathic sin of being a truth seeker heightens your susceptibility to the post escape and post discard hoovers. When we open those shutters and allow the bright, shining light of the golden period to fall upon your face you instantly see that the truth has returned, that false truth which you were shown what feels like such a long time ago. Yet, all is not lost, the truth has returned, it is in your grasp and all you need to do seek it out and embrace it is to return to our fold. By seeking our the truth once again you fall prey to our hoovers and our control over you is increased again.

The desire to seek the truth is noble indeed but seeking it from one who scorns the truth and takes refuge amongst deceit, lies and fraudulent intent can only result in this character trait of yours gaining the epitaph of being a sin of the empath.

35 thoughts on “Sins of the Empath : Truth Seeker

  1. On My Journey says:

    I had an experience this week . A guy I met in Holyday came to my house a couple time , always with friends and although I was not thinking of having a relation with him , we kind of hugged and had a chaste kiss last time I saw him.

    We were texting in a friendly manner everyday – not intensively but regularly.

    After this kiss – he told me he would invite me out in a good restaurant that week.

    Never heard from him again.

    2 days ago he reappears. I am telling myself – you bastard won’t get me. He is a medical doctor so I just said – i need a prescription for this … can you send it to me? He was really mad and say I can’t do that etc – and i did not expect you to be so rude and brutal ( projection) – I s’en shim a smile and did not reply to any of his other texts . He texted on messenger – which we never exchanged with this platform it was always normal phone texts. I suspect he had deleted my phone number and I appeared in his sphere of influence.

    I don’t care if he is a narc or not – not me to diagnose him – but I will not engage with such behaviours- even as friends.

    Thanks to this blog and articles .
    Oh he just wrote again.
    I will block him now

  2. Carrie Ann khaddour says:

    I Cannot Sincerely Apologize for My Lengthy Reply ! If one Prefers The Short Form You Simply Need A Different Subject ! Psychological Warfare Is not short and brief! and if you seek Answers half of them are within yourself if you seek Knowledge Prepare to discover Your Truth The Blame too is Equally Your Own! That Is Empathetic Compassion from My View point v.s Handing You a Kleenex With a Sympathy Shower the facade of kindness it will only weaken you more You Either Fight Or Retreat Victory Or Death !Survival Is Rethink The Battle reinforce your fortress and keep the advancing Enemy OUT no Negotiation NO Contact The Trojan Horse Was a Gift!

  3. Carrie Ann khaddour says:

    All very interesting insights and of course H.G as usual hits the proverbial nail squarely by means of Narc Hammer. We can trust H.G time and time again to bring home the Truth behind the Lie.In all of H.G Tudor’s material I have Come to Understand How really well he knows himself,The Nature of his disorder, a.k.a order within disorder.,how this was built within him leaving no option in order to survive the childhood shop of horrors the Narcissistic bootcamp in order to establish himself as an elite of his kind.The more I investigate and Consider,what I read The more I come to suspect the Narc and the Empath have a strange odd couple scenario that is equally disordered.I prefer after all that I would Be found Too Bad to be Good and too Good to be Bad,however that is not the case for me,There is a Psychology research project that was conducted in Stamford Connecticut U.S.A partially pursued after the findings in the Abu Ghraib military prison in Iraq and then researched among the everyday people and environments typically ordinary people can and do encounter or can encounter that vastly alter the responses of what my be generally referred to as the basic normal amongst us. midstream personality ranges the I’m ok you’re ok of people neither the Empath nor the Narc is the case in this project however,the events encountered in ones life can drastically alter how one may think he or she would predictably respond given a proposed scenario or set of mental machinations,these are shocking findings in which we are able to glimpse behind the curtain to see generally Good people do insidious bad Things,likewise we find the contrary precept of your basic bad seed acting in some strangely heroic human standards. that may well altogether alter your view of self and others in terms of Good and Evil go per_se! This Project is Coined the {“Lucifer Effect” }so titled appropriately by the building of monsters and heroines.The research Project delves into_Enviromental/ Circumstancial/ Military/Workplace/ Educational and Home /Political and Community Underpinnings which can be manipulated to alter how any given person may likely respond in a given set of stresses or positions of power over others and they increase to the bizarre when these are further exaggerated as in reference to the philosophy behind exaggeration.Each individual will perceive things going on in a highly individual complex way yet as a group will behave in those Individual but also predictable Group way such as/peer /comrade/team/military regime/politial stand or trauma bond / victims oppression /incarcerration /POW etc.Further this With A Role lets say a Power Point position stretegically given to one person, over one or many others you will see changes in people quite shocking that they themselves would have denied as possible in terms of self knowledge ,Add another given circumstance by removing the fear or apprehension in terms of public exposure. or being called to accountability to ones higher rank personnel/employer/educational staff /community leaders/or social hierarchy. commanding officers .or prison authorities etc. add what happens in this room stays in this room .The Bond of Fellows ladies or gents by Sworn to secrecy tactics then couple planted seeds by word or subtle innuendo’s into the minds and thought processes of any given individual as to planted noteriety/ or hostility/ threat /debase or insannity/danger / indecent or un worth in terms of societal class/culture/political stand /or underclass status or outcast undesirable! Put any person anywhere in psychologically altering enviromental or situationally oppressive circumstances.either by chance or manipulated schemes ,deliberate plots real or imagined recourse or none! You will find the mind of EACH OF US is limited only by what We can Conceive in terms of Horror /Evil /Cruelty /Courage Valor /sensitivity /compassion /Empathy Or Narcissistic virtue or Vice HEAVEN AND HELL IS WITHIN US ALL! We All have the capacity within us as individuals given the right set of circumstances or situations by choice or Thown upon us THE DETERMINATION is EXPERIENCES imposed or consistently chosen Even the smallest of choices we make on daily routines have Changed Our Course in some manner and of tose associated with us on any given level as well!The Narcissist and the super Empath are judged good or evil not in terms of equality but by human standards alone which do neither nor the general whole any good service! My Analogy is This Concept Whereas Lucipher epitomizes EVIL and St Michael is the Upholder Of Good in the Angelic Divine sense ! Research into the character individuals! Present These points of Note.Both were in GODS FAVOR even Lucipher as Gods Favorite created Angelic entity yet thru a series of imaginations and events both responded in individual responses! It is Known That Lucipher Was given superiority in Appearance Tallent Skill Power and Ability While St Michael a bit Less So but Still Highly Favored beautifu powerful skilled gifted and so forth, what happened is the status changed for reasons somewhat obscure to us A Set of situational circumstancial heavenly events occurred which drastically Altered The Destiny Of Both Angels Created By GOD each unique and gifted for the posistion they were designed or created to hold only unique by their designated purpose! The Greatest of course was an equal to the designated purpose he was created for and The Other Greatest in his designated posistion ,But The One Lucipher was Cast Down and removed of his former state and His appearance Changed From Beauty to a Grotesque figure stripped of Power Skill and honor and Cast Permanently Away to a place prepared by his creator for him the other remained Unchanged yet increased in power and skill by his response to these events Both Stood Before God Yet the Final Destiny vastly different for the one Lucipher! God is Supreme Intelligence Why Would He Design A Flawed Supreme Angel he Did NOT EVENTS and Situations Circumstances and Changes Altered The Estate of a Created GOOD to respond in an EVIL WAY! Do we Not See this On a lesser Level By those We Elect or Lead in Someway ? Unto Whom Much is Given Much is equally Required More Often than Not This Requirement is a the test of Metal within us ALL! Thankyou H.G Tudor For Another Look into the 2 way Mirror! The World Of OUR OTHERS OURSELVES! Our Posistion is a bit Umcomfy in terms of the Meaning of TRUTH!

    Carrie Khaddour:My Favorite Narcissist is the One that Exposes the Truth to those who want to understand themselves and others better Out of Harms Way! The Advanced Guide to Fool me once Shame on You! Fool Me Twice Shame On Me! The Narcissist/Empath Game of Chess! Where Losing Everything Is the Risk w/ the Narcissist in the Title Role Empath Makes The 1st Move ! This Move Pre Destines the entire game! Narcissist Moves En Passant! Experience is a Teacher When the Student is ready The Teacher Arrives!
    I and My Steed must be off to battle the Dragon From Within_ as well as without! A Perilous Merciless TRUTH! [Self ]_imposed because I could not be content in the Blissful ignorance of [IT IS! What IT IS! { incidently Psychologists refer to this term as the indifferent’s agnostic approach to the undesirable conditions applicable to its usage Apart from how it pertains to possible SELF _Limiting conditions! As Long as it is Happening to Them Oh Well! if it should Happen Close to Me Oh Hell! found common amongst the minions fairing placidly in the Kingdom of mediocrity! TRUTH IS often a MIRROR and it can Cast a very Cruel light on Every Flaw ! It IS AFTER ALL ESSENTIAL To TAKE a very Close VIEW lest one Be Found Living Lies V,S Telling LIES! Truth Opens ones Eyes to The Certainty of Demise and one Questions The Nature Of their Truth in comparison To The Supreme Truth My Truth Stands Very Flawed to say the least ! All is VANITY a Chasing After the WIND!

  4. WhoCares says:

    An afterthought;

    “1. On the surface it was my narc trying to ascertain whether or not I actually *had* spoken out.”

    In addition to this, he would probably have gotten fuel from knowing about me discussing him with others, if I had indeed done that, on top of the fuel gleaned from being able to hold that knowledge over my head and say that he was right about me.

    At least in holding in my truth and not speaking about him I denied him *some* fuel.

    1. W says:

      AND you didn’t engage in gossip or the like which is really bad for your personal constitution.

    2. W says:

      Oh sorry I misunderstood what you meant by speaking out

  5. Curious1 says:

    We are all here on Earth in our meatsuits to heal. None of us is perfect. If we were we wouldn’t be here. We are to use our imperfections and wounds to help others heal, not as excuses for more bad behavior. It is inevitable that we will heal, even the narcissists. Our only choice is when. We may take as many lifetimes as we wish. We don’t get to choose who we get to help. We may not be the one who gets to heal our favorite narcissist. We have to let that go. As much as we cling, we will only cause further hurt. Let go. Help yourself and others who are ready. We are all one. Know that that will help your favorite narcissist as well. Love everyone to heal everyone.

    HG, as much as your ego may dislike this idea. If it is true, you are fulfilling your meatsuit purpose by helping all of us empaths to heal by sharing the truth. This is the only place I have found the truth. It is ironic. Truth heals. Truth sets us free. Yes, we can handle the truth.

  6. WhoCares says:

    They excel at playing our truths against us. Mine did this repeatedly.
    When I would assert something I knew to be true about myself; take for example “I am independent person” or “I am a private person,” he would say “No you’re not.”
    And then he would continue with “You rely on so-and-so (fill in the blank)” or “You take advice from ______”  or “You talk to ______ about us.”

    And to every one of those accusations I would assert “No, actually, I don’t do that,” or “No I don’t talk to anyone about our relationship or about you.”

    And that is all he had to do (among other manipulations). I’ve learned (partly with the help of HG’s insight) that his repeated accusations accomplished several things at once.

    1. On the surface it was my narc trying to ascertain whether or not I actually *had* spoken out.
    2. It confused and puzzled me that he would even make those declarations and threw me off balance.
    3. It caused me to react defensively.
    4. It caused me to react angrily.
    5. It started me on a train of thought searching for any examples that might prove him right.
    6. It resulted in me never, ever speaking out about our relationship dynamics or reaching out for help during the years we were together – because I had to prove to myself that I was an independent, private person.

    I had to prove to myself that I could *handle* it. He never had to threaten harm should I ever speak out – because I never I did. But with the passing of time and being caught in the fog of the relationship but still defending my own truth, I found myself at the brink of no return and in an emergency situation where I had no choice but to reach out for help. Then, as a result, I had to share some of what was happening. I had to admit that I couldn’t handle it.

    It seems as clear as day to me now, but that is because I’m isolating this one example from a multitude of manipulations, I’ve been out of the relationship for some time, I came across HG’s most helpful blog and I engage in a lot of introspection.

    Sorry for the long post.

  7. RJ says:

    Sad part is we know the truth now and knew that something was wrong all along but just could not put the finger on it exactly. A good/great relationship should not be that difficult. Problems arise in every relationship time to time but usually get resolved easily. All the same though wouldn’t it be nice to hear it from them? Don’t hold your breath waiting!

  8. BurntKrispyKeen says:

    “This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.” – HG Tudor

    You have an excellent way of throwin’ it down. Actually, this whole article is a nice display of your talent… even if your words are a bit hard to accept.

  9. Kate says:

    Each of the four times that I have been cheated on or found out that I was the side chick, I confronted them and walked away (except with my first boyfriend when I was 16 who cheated on me with my best friend. I took him back, but got my revenge eventually for about a year. Sweeter still, he never knew!).

    Once someone is known to be a bad person (liar, cheater, user), we need to try our best to lock them out of our lives. Those hoovers can be tempting when a guy is super sexy, though! Also, it can be fun and satisfying to f— with them like they did to us, but this can be a dangerous game with some of them. Only once did I choose not to play. He wasn’t worth the time and effort..

  10. Narc Angel says:

    Do we? We say we want the truth but when it is told to us or shown to us through their warnings and actions it does not deter us. We explain it away and go into denial instead. We seem to only want the truth after there is no hope or future because it allows us to lay the blame at their feet and rail at the injustice, or to validate whether or not we really did mean something to them. This is evidenced by the number that would still be with them had they not been disengaged from and those still seeking involvement. When they are making us feel good we care little about the truth.

    1. The brutal truth NA.

    2. BurntKrispyKeen says:

      That’s a tough reality to face but reality nonetheless. You offer many insightful facts, Narc Angel. I searched for the truth, yet I spent countless hours trying to justify his suspicious behaviors because I didn’t want to give up the dream.

      Even once I realized he was a nightmare, I still wanted a part of him in my life. I allowed him to cost me precious sleep, worrying and wondering… as if he had been some prize lost.

      But I’m starting to see that they are pretty hard to lose. The more I try to get away, the more he makes his presence known. It’s a sick cycle for sure, but with patience and hard work, hopefully everybody will learn how to take a tuck and roll from the hamster wheel and break free for good.

      Your post is a clear reminder of how much of our healing is in our own power.

    3. Witch says:

      There are many sides to this. It’s harder to leave an abusive relationship than a “normal” one that has run it’s course.
      Often abusive relationships trigger a previous attachment wound that keeps us holding on (see attachment theory) and there’s also the psychological hold that abusers have over their victims (traumatic bonding.)
      When someone wears down your self esteem and tries to convince you that you are crazy, over time you can really believe you are the crazy one that is causing the abuse that you believe you must deserve.

    4. W says:

      I disagree for me personally. For me, I gave up alcohol and I could sense that even though I didn’t want to end things with him I was going to have to, because it just wasn’t in alignment with where I was now . And even now, as I suspect seriously that he is indeed a narc ( or A really freaking dirty empath that’s on the narc-ish side of the scale) The time has come to end things.

      Sometimes a truth seeker can seek the truth even when things are going well .
      But I will say that even technically things are going well, I could sense that all is not well . Man I don’t even know how to phrase this let’s just say that alcohol effectively dulled my empathic abilities to at least the point where even though I was conscious of dishonesty manipulation etc. and I even engaged in it myself , now that there’s no alcohol in my system there’s no way I can tolerate it.
      Energetically I simply can’t engage in it . It’s making me sick .

      1. On My Journey says:

        W, i gave up alcohol too 7 months ago. And dealing with my narc sober is really hard. As you, I thought it is no longer aligned with my value to stay in this relation and I indeed first, took 3 weeks for self care and intensive therapy – went no contact – advised him I would temporarily go no contact – that he did not have the knowledge to help me and that I needed to take care of me. I came back – all the new woman in his life and slowly got them off and took back my preferred IPSS spot.
        I tried to leave later as well but I am an addict and addict of the narc – not in love and thankfully I know the difference – although it is not easier.

        My therapist said I am still in psychological withdrawal and that dealing with difficulties with no alcohol is hard for me now , I have to train my brain to cope with healthy strategies.

        I am pretty sure there are many of us who do suffer from addiction.

  11. Twilight says:

    Better to be slapped with brutal truth then loved with a lie.
    It starts with one….oneself, if you do not lie to yourself no one else can.

  12. KRG says:

    Once I realised what I was dealing with, all my empathetic traits just went off, like they never existed. I did not want answers, or to exert my righteousness or anything. I did pity him from time to time.
    Still I wanted him to suffer but, I never did anything to extract revenge either. I knew this was a battle I’d never win, unfortunately.
    I just kept working on my self esteem issues.

    It still makes me utterly happy, if someone humiliates him and the news reaches me though.
    It just makes my day.

    I hope I get over this too and his existence won’t matter anymore. Hopefully.

    1. Vera says:

      The same thing happened to me. Once I realized what I was dealing with, everything shut off. I no longer cared where he actually went, or what he was doing, or who he was with. I knew I would never get a straight, honest answer. I used the times when he was away to work on myself. Build myself back up. Interestingly, once I knew what I was dealing with, I started to deteriorate physically. As if once all of the empathic traits were gone, I was on borrowed time.

      1. KRG says:

        Same here. I developed a lot of stress related illnesses like PCOS. It seems like it happened overnight but I now realise that it was the product of the entire encounter.

        I now focus solely on my physical and mental health.

        Have more money to spend on my appearance too.

        *Perks of breaking up with a narc*

  13. Me says:

    I wanted the truth and since he was not able (refused) to give it to me I ended up being a spy, digging out all the dirt my self. Then I put it all in a letter …. right after last encounter I sent it and of course I got the famous ST…. No reply of course. I also sent it to his new woman. I called him out on all the fraud, lies and the best part on his failures as a man and father. Wished him a fantastic life…
    7 mo later and I have no idea where he is, what he is doing because I stopped looking. But for sure he has the same job, doing the same things, same rituals and continuing ruining people’s life’s.. but not mine. The aftermath is horrendous and I have scars for life. My biggest mistake was not to get the truth .. it actually gave me some kind of closure. I will however never understand what happened with the illusion or my sanity. The red flags didn’t stop me … I will eventually forgive myself but still struggling. How can he be so cruel, twisted and sick… I loved him, I took care of him…. now I take care of my self! I will never forget the first week we meet when he said “I need you to need me” …. I didn’t need him but he made sure I finally did… that was my downfall. Go and find the truth and then believe what you find.. never doubt yourself again. My life is drama free, debt free and fun. His… same crap and more to come …

    1. On my Journey says:

      Wow … I did the same. Became a spy and found so many things. So many pictures and proofs. So he made a no pictures rules with his gf. I have pretended for awhile I knew nothing and was asking questions to get him to lie and keep evidences of his lies. Then I spit it out and my mistake was to stay in this for a couple months and became very cynical saying … so and so just texted you, she just posted that picture at your house yesterday..,. Oh she also posted a picture with this other guy… If I were you I would think she sees someone else… etc etc… Oh … That other one just sent you a good night… Only hurting myself and fueling him with exquisite revenge fuel. Once I saw myself becoming a little devil, and liking it, I left him when he was out of the country with his other gf and could not reached out and blocked him out. My father was also a narcissist and it is only now I realise all this. So… I am now on my healing journey. understanding their truth is one thing… but getting on with my own is another one.

  14. Vera says:

    Do “normals” not care about the truth?
    It took me way too long to figure out that everything coming out of his mouth was just lie after lie after lie. What almost made me go insane was constantly trying to understand the why behind everything. To understand what he claimed I needed to understand about him, me, and relationships in order for us to be happy, which was the biggest lie of them all. Because there was nothing that would ever make him happy and none of the BS coming out of his mouth would ever make any sense. That’s the only truth there was to find.

  15. says:

    I want the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help me Yog!!!
    I don’t care how pissed off or hurt it makes me feel!!!!

    But you are the only narcissist that I ever got anything even close to the truth from.

    And it surprises me, still, that I actually am getting truth from a narcissist.

    But, you have no dog in my fight, so, it doesn’t hurt you or derail any of your plans.

    I’ll light a bonfire in your honor………..

    Thanks for the truth, HG!!!!!

    (throws more lies into the fire, watches them burn away……)

  16. Hurt&Confused (but it’s becoming clearer) says:

    Better to be slapped with the truth than kissed with a lie, Jack.

  17. Hurt&Confused (but it’s becoming clearer) says:

    “The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.”

    Yes.I still want the truth. All of it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      But to paraphrase a great line, can you handle it H&C!?

      1. Kimi says:


        I’m curious… Jack Nicholson’s role in A Few Good Men; a Narcissist? I’d guess MR or Lessor. Any opinion on the actor?

        I loved these articles! Incredible insight into your perspective on wounding, recovery, plotting, revenge and fueling. Made me grateful I’d never wounded a Greater Elite!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I agree. As to school, I would need to revisit the film (have not seen it in a long time) but I am leaning towards Upper Lesser.

          As to Jack Nicholson himself I certainly see narcissistic traits, but would need to reflect further.

    2. Carrie Ann khaddour says:

      An ugly TRUTH is preferred to a beautiful LIE

  18. Hg, Why do you think it is that we seek for the truth so unflinchingly and so long?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Your failure to realise that our truth is different from your truth.

      1. Nuit Étoilée says:

        Indeed. I think the reason we continue seeking it is precisely as you say – trying to understand… you…

        I think we seek to understand your perspective, bc we want to trust you.. we are asking for the truth – if you tell us what we know to be true, then that would mean we could trust you.. and that you trust us enough to tell us the truth…

        That you do not tells us that you do not trust us.. and we should not trust you..

        For me.. it goes back to fear.. you do not trust us w the truth.. bc the construct is not the real you.. But you are enough, more than enough.

  19. H. says:

    Seeking the truth was by far my biggest sin as an empath….all I wanted was the truth.

    It just about broke me looking for it. Crazy stuff for sure.

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