Who’s The Daddy



I remember when I first met you. It was on a dance-floor and of course I caught your eye, I wanted you to catch my eye. I always draw those needed admiring glances when I move through a crowd but whilst those were required and welcome, I was focussed on ensuring you noticed me. I knew that you would. It was just a question of time. It always is. I was stood near one of the bars.I always chose this bar as it was elevated allowing everyone to see me and allowing me to see everyone and it was from this vantage point that I observed you. I saw you enter the room, your tight as tight could be dress already turning heads and you smiled, winked and blew kisses as you walked down the steps onto the dance floor as if everybody in the club was there for you. You were confident alright but you were over confident and I could see straight through that. I kept watching you as you flirted with the men nearby, irrespective of whether they were with another lady and you seemed oblivious to the hateful stares you received from the handful of girlfriends or wives whose other halfs you flirted with. I was interested in you already. If I had a Spidey sense it would have been tingling.

Your lithe frame entered the dancefloor and you felt that the coloured lights and throaty bass were all there for you as you began to dance. You caught the eye of several men and one by one they tried to dance with you .I could see you smiling to yourself as you turned your back on those you deemed beneath you. Each of them was well-dressed and good-looking but you rejected them. You milled around the dance floor until you neared your target, a handsome chap but he was older than those you had rejected and he was your choice. You pulled the chosen one towards you and you began your dance with him. I could see the way that you were grinding against this man on the dance floor was provocative and suggestive. You maintained eye contact with him, as if letting him out of your sight would cause him to disappear. Your eyes burned with wanton desire and your undulating and writhing was most definitely sexual in nature. The sexual aggression flowed from you and this caught my interest. You appeared as a bright dot on my radar and I knew that I needed to learn more.

It was not long before this dance partner was cast aside and replaced by a tastier and more attractive prospect. Me. You draped your arms about my neck as we danced, ground your crotch into my thigh, turned and pushed your pert posterior into my crotch and it was clear you wanted to seduce me. I played along, reciprocating the movements, letting my hands glide across your body as I eventually steered you across to the bar area and sat beside you on a couch as I ordered us both a drink. This was the first time that I had seen you be still and it allowed me to appraise properly your appearance. Your hair, a dirty blonde colour was not cut but rather chopped short, sticking out in a variety of angles which gave the appearance of not caring but most likely had been carefully pulled and twisted into place before a generous layer of hair spray was applied. I reasoned that you wore your hair short because as a child you were denied the right to have it cut short. You always had to have it long and golden, like the hair of a princess. I bet your father would read you stories about Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and Rapunzel as he stroked your hair, telling you how beautiful it was because it was long. I imagined that you wanted to cut it as you got older, the length being difficult to maintain but moreover too symbolic of the safe, suburban and middle-class upbringing you had received when you wanted to rebel. I bet you fought to have that hair cut even just by a few inches but you were forbidden from doing so and now this punkish, chopped and almost butchered hair style was the two-fingered salute you had given to your past. It screamed its story to me since I recognised it from a mile.

Your lipstick was bright red, your eyes framed by black mascara, eye liner and a battleship grey eye shadow. You were thin. Stick-like and I recognised such a frame. You stared at me as you sucked on the straw sliding it in and out of those pursed lips as you tried, without subtlety, to suggest what I might have coming my way. You were much younger than me. I would imagine at least fifteen years between us. Nowhere near illegality of course, that is not my penchant at all, but a sufficient age gap that was noticeable and of course something they would comment on, he would comment on, if they ever met me. If.

I saw the tattoos on your arms, great sleeves of floral designs and also similar on your thigh as your already short dress rode up as you sat on the sofa. I could see the design was intricate and extensive across your left thigh but it did not mask the line of scars completely. That neat and ordered row of incisions that had been made in your thigh, like notches on a bedpost. They brought you relief, temporary and momentary, but they also shamed you and thus you sought the ink in an attempt to mask those wounds in the same way that I knew this overt  confidence, flirtation and sexual aggression was just a mask as well. That light on my radar shone brighter and I could almost smell the fuel that I knew would flow from you freely and readily, just like the blood had flowed down your thigh. I held your gaze, those flinty eyes trying to burn into my mind but getting nowhere, a slight flicker of confusion and then they shifted into conveying that desire you oozed. You had no idea whose web you had flown into but I knew exactly what you were.

“What time is your daddy picking you up?” I asked my question near shouted to be heard over the music playing.

You coughed, the straw shooting from your mouth as you jerked your glass away.

“What? My dad? He’s not picking me up,” you protested. Your expression was not one of mild amusement but rather disdain and irritation. Just as I thought it would be.

“Of course not. Why would he do that when you are coming home with me?” I added with a wide smile. Your eyes widened and you copied my smile.

“I do love daddy issues,” I said quietly.

“What?” you asked unable to hear.

“I said, I nearly missed you,” I replied in a louder tone, “I was about to go home.”

“Well, it is a good job you didn’t,” you answered as you moved closer to me, pressing that fragile and broken frame against me, seeking the warmth, shield and protection that I offered you. You had found your new daddy. I had found a potent new victim.

28 thoughts on “Who’s The Daddy

  1. RJ says:

    Fifteen years difference between them. Even if at the bottom end of the spectrum say 20 for the younger individual there is one reality. They are both going to receive what they are looking for in the short term. For how long it goes on is anyones guess. Its all based on deception to get what they want and fulfill a few needs too while at it. Far from the first rodeo for either individual.

  2. gabbanzobean says:

    HG, how long does it take for your “Narcdar” (radar) to spot a narc? As in would one meeting someone face to face for let’s say oh I don’t know…20 minutes or so to gauge their reactions and demeanor, etc….would you be able to identify that they are indeed a narc?

    Also I am still waiting on the follow up article to this about “mommy issues”. I hope that is still in the works.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It varies dependent on the extent of the interaction. In some instances I am able to tell within a few minutes, sometimes it may take half an hour – it also depends on what I am asking them.

      1. Challenge Fuel says:

        Are you keen at identifying most mid rangers? Do you F with their minds? I am still wondering if you are ever going to do an article on 2 mid rangers in a relationship. That would be interesting to read. Or even better a Mid getting chewed up and spit out by a Greater.

        (Yes I will admit I still want to hire you to wound my mid ranger….you really should begin offering this as a service)

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes there will be further ‘When Narcissists Collide’ articles.
          You can read about a Mid getting chewed up by a Greater in the two Valentine Venom articles.

          (As for wounding your MR, easy enough, but doing so now is just an extension of your engagement with him and is contrary to your best interests. Complete a year of solid no contact and the proposition can be re-visited.)

    2. narc affair says:

      My brother would fall into the mommy issues category. Hed be whats termed as a son husband. Hes been the idolized on even above of my stepdad. My stepdad idolizes him to but i now see its all part of the mental illness. Him being the codependant subserviant husband has reduced him to being what hes expected to be. Hes expected to put the golden child on the podium.

      1. Challenge Fuel says:

        Narc Affair,
        My former therapist once told me that my relationship with my narc was like the one with my father (validation seeking) which made NO sense to me as my relationship with my dad was fine. It was my mother who was the issue. Hence why I am curious to read the supposed “Mommy Issues” article which I hope gets posted someday. Ehhhh Daddy or Mommy issues….like it even matters anymore. Damage has been done already you know what I mean?

      2. narc affair says:

        Hi gabs…it does matter bc it carries over into adulthood and narcissists are a prime example of that. Mommy and daddy issues are bc certain needs werent met growing up that impacted personal development. Thats where many struggle with self love myself included. They dont go into it looking for a mum or dad theyre looking for what their mum or dad didnt give them growing up. Sadly many choose someone like their dysfinctional parent to give them what they needed. Basically reliving the past to get it right but in the wrong way.

  3. narc affair says:

    My narc is 14 years older and when we met i wasnt looking for a daddy figure. That said i do prefer older men. I find them more charming and reliable. That cant be said for all older men but i find it to be the case more so than younger men.
    My narc i think likes younger women bc he acts and looks younger than his age. How young he likes i dont know and dont want to know.
    The man in this story strikes me as only using this woman for sex. Im pretty sure he hangs out at the nightclubs to reel in one night stands. Shes basically a prostitute to him. Maybe he gets her hooked on drugs and becomes her jon. He seems a very creepy sort.

    1. Twilight says:

      Narc Affair

      I do believe he is using her for fuel, sex is just a means to an end.
      I do not believe he gets her hooked on drugs or becomes her jon.
      Now if we are speaking of the addiction they cause within us, I am sure this man is very good at causing this.

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi twilight…im speculating of course lol definitely its the fuel he wants and control.

    2. gabbanzobean says:

      Narc Affair,
      My narc is 5 1/2 years younger than me. And he acts even younger than that….LOL. I have never been caught up with anyone older than me. They have all been younger. What is the formula for determining “cradle robbing”? Divide by 2 and add 7?

      1. narc affair says:

        Hi gabs…my ex was 5 yrs younger than me. Oddly he was more mature than my now narc in ways but immature in others.

      2. Challenge Fuel says:

        Narc Affair,

        “Oddly he was more mature than my now narc in ways but immature in others.”

        So eerie. Mine was the same as well. He wrote and spoke like he was some older well renowned academic scholar. But he wore superman and batman t-shirts and watched children’s TV shows all the time.

  4. LilAng says:

    Why do you narcs like much younger girls? Is it because you want to show off (look people what a hot young babe I seduced)? Or maybe they are more naive, easier to manipulate, full of fuel?

    I know that in my 20s I was less self-conscious and for example I was ready to beg my ex to come back. But today I wouldn’t do it, when someone dump me I just go silent, I’m more confident. Is it the case?

    But I suppose that older woman has better residual benefits – better job, more money, well educated.

    What is more importarnt to you HG? I mean when it comes to the IPPS and having longer relationship – do you personally prefer a younger girl who works in a cafe but is 15 years younger or someone with more prestigious career but 5 years younger?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See the Prime Aims and Sitting Target.

      Victims of a young age is but one factor and its applicability varies dependent upon school and cadre of narcissist.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        Re: age vs benefits

        As if its in your DNA to choose one lol.

  5. Brian says:

    You can read most people like a book, within a few seconds?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Most. It is a combination of innate ability, training and repeated practice.

      1. Brian says:

        So a person actually trained you to do this? That’s interesting, must have been the best training you ever received?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I was not trained to be a narcissist. I received some training with regard to reading people.

      2. Brian says:

        Wow, wish I had received some training like that.
        Thanks for the answer.

        I used to just read someone’s expression and tone of voice, I could see when someone was overtly mean…but couldn’t see through narcissists whatsoever.

  6. narc affair says:

    This girl seems to have bpd bit illustrates on a grand scale the lack of boundaries and searching for that something to fulfill a void. Narcissists do this but i also think potential victims do as well.

  7. Bibi says:

    HG, do you have any tattoos?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  8. abrokenwing says:

    I have nothing against the tattoos but I would never get one myself .
    They don’t fit my personality.
    Besides, why would you put a mark on Ferrari ..

  9. anonymous says:

    How can someone manipulate a narc to get them to do what they want instead of everything always being about the narc . . . their agenda?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See ‘How To Make A Request Of a Narcissist’ and “How To Make the Narcissist Return’.

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