Poll : Which Of The Following Subjects Would You Like Me To Write More About?
This poll does not need any great explanation. There is a list of topic below, you may choose a maximum of three in respect of those topics you would like to read more about. The top three will have further material provided about them – the top three will be ascertained as at midnight Thursday 17 May 2018 (UK time)
Edit : People have kindly added other topics in comments they would like to be addressed. To save people from repetition, please note that certain topics were not included in the poll because the subjects are either covered in books that I am writing and/or are bespoke matters best suited to consultation. Examples of this include narcissists in the workplace, how to avoid narcissists once you are dating, addressing emotional thinking, how to know if you will be hoovered, detail about my life and my interaction with the good doctors. Thank you, HG.
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HG
Although not listed, Magical Thinking/Grandiosity would be something to consider for a future article(s). Thank you.
K—HG has said an example of magical thinking is that the narc thinks everyone wants him/her. Hilarious.
Lorelei
Exactly, it’s hilarious and delusional.
HG’s comment on The Golden Period made me think about MT and how it presents.
“owing to magical thinking, perceive something which is not there which sets them off again”
HG Tudor says:
December 3, 2019 at 12:48
As an Ultra. One, invited me to seduce her, there’s arrogance and magical thinking for you.
https://narcsite.com/2019/12/01/secrets-13/#comment-320928
K—I legitimately had a guy tonight that is probably 4 inches shorter than me ask personal questions about my relationship status in the same breath as saying his university studies were too hard for him. I’m not kidding. He may well not be a narcissist but he’s an idiot.
Lorelei
Information gathering and a Pity Play, if this individual is a narcissist. Be careful.
Hey, HG.. I know the final results are in and the top three choices have been announced, but do you think you can write an article discussing a general interaction between the narcissist and borderline personalities? I would absolutely LOVE to get your personal perspective of this relationship dynamic.. I’ve already read all the information from the top 30 or so websites in results of a Google search about the two.. Thanks..
Hi HG,
I was interested in more of your stories about your exes. I think I’m curious because you show all the tactics used are the same. You said you just choose your tactics according to their personalities, I believe.
I’ve got a strange situation… my ex-husband’s new wife posts more than most people do on Facebook open to the public. She’s doing live talks and it has me able to see he is literally doing the same things to her that he did to me! I have even seen him argue with her under his breath during one of her live talks! He took her to a place we had gone and she took the same picture of him that I have. It’s so shocking, but I’m perplexed about why he would want to do all the same things- isn’t that boring? I think she is very narcissist herself due to all her posts. She even calls herself the boss, stubborn and indifferent. I have read about how two narcissists collide, but you once told me my ex is on the psychopathic side…. any thoughts on narcissists and antisocial people? I just had to share this info.. yes, I have fallen into the addiction of watching them, but I don’t feel upset by it… I’m just fascinated how he is now living. I want to see if all I have studied is really happening again. To what degree will it be the same? Will he end up with another woman in their bed as he did to me? That is my big curiosity. Wouldn’t that be boring for him? The only difference is they have a 2 year old… he told me he wanted to “try” being a father. He is not getting much attention from her which he hates. I have even seen her shocked by his behavior once, nervous about what he would do (she was doing a live talk and he was walking around naked behind her).
Anyway, if you get any ideas on subjects to write about from this I would look forward to reading them.. Thanks.
Noted and thank you. I recommend you stop watching although I do not know how long it is since you and your husband separated and whether there has been a significant period of no contact with the consequential management of your emotional thinking.
HG, I read one of your books recently where you discuss my most favorite movie of all time, Full Metal Jacket. No one makes me laugh like Gunny Hartman. All of the narcissists I’ve dated the ULN (Corporal), the LGN (Lt. Col) and the MMRN (Staff Sgt.) were all US Marines. I’ve also been an IPSS to several others. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the military. The narcissist is more than likely drawn to this branch bc of their grandiosity and lacking in empathy it makes them suited to be killers. An article about this would probably help many who are drawn to them as “heroes.” My experience is that they were absolute nightmares to be in a relationship with.
Another awesome poll.
So many great reader suggestions too.
Look forward to new articles based on the poll.
I would like an article on what really goes through their mind when they hoover I arrived home last night to a massive over the top grandady of a hoover the likes of which I haven’t seen in years it was no hi how are you it was I miss you I miss your arms around me I miss this I miss that your so beautiful I love this about you I love that blah blah blah I’ve never seen him lime this since seduction
I’m no expert by any stretch, but it sounds to me as if something has changed suddenly or gone awry inside somebody’s fuel matrix.
I couldn’t agree more he’s having a massive fuel crisis it seems lol
Let him Starve. The price of fuel is too high👍
Ugotit
I thought you were no contact?
I was no contact since Feb 2 then in April he created a new account and hoovered with a few vague hello messages which I ignored at first then I broke down ie fucked up and answered him leading to me giving him a hearty dose of negative fuel by calling him a bunch of assorted nasty but true names I was so ashamed of my self I booked a consultation with hg then blocked this new account last night I came home to discover a barrage of messages likes and pokes on my Facebook account using his friend s account which is also on my friends list this man has been on my friends list for years and his too but I was under the impression he didn’t hang out with this friend in real life since he’s twenty years his senior but they do live in the same town apparently they did hang out yesterday and he used his account to visit my profile and message me but yeah I fucked up yet again because I answered him I inked narc 101 he showed me a glance of his false self that I haven’t seen In years and I replied although my reply was to correct him in a memory he mentioned that was incorrect on his part by a slight margin
I’d like to be able to “like” comments again.. I’m completely losing patience with this process. Are they gonna want blood and stool samples?? Why does this have to be so difficult???
Jess
I understand your frustration because I have felt it in the past. I don’t understand it now though, because I can like comments. If I go into narcsite from google, there is a like button for each comment and how many “likes” each comment has received.
I do have a wordpress account – well, my dog has a wordpress account and let’s me use his. 😄
I am rather paranoid about privacy and didn’t want to use an email address connected with my real name, so I opened a new email account in my dog’s name and signed up to wordpress thru that.
Hope you get your problem solved.
I appreciate your response, thank you. Setting up that account is very difficult… I’ve tried. Quitting for now. I’ve been in transition lately, fired up and making lots of changes to my life. Patience is no where to be seen.
I liked your comment jess lol i have a wp acct so i can like but its not the way it was when i joined where you can see who liked whose posts. Im not sure why its changed.
Narc Affair
Yeah, I really miss that feature. It was always interesting to see who liked what
I’m gonna start commenting “liked.” Haha.
SN,
I think you make a very interesting point here:
“…a mental illness which is taken care of well is nothing to be ashamed/scared of/looked down upon.
A mental illness which is looked at as a personal stigma can create a lot of wreak and havoc in the lives of the person of interest and those around them.”
The arena where we all find ourselves discussing the subject of ‘mental illness’ is, potentially, free of stigma…one of the few places where we can examine the strengths and intricacies of these so-called mental illnesses.
SN stands for what and what do you mean. Don’t need to ask questions like that?? Thank you kindly
Bibi – I second that; on Bill Cosby. Would be very interesting.
I am so glad that people are writing about Bill Cosby!!!
I was wondering if I was the only one who noticed that he was convicted of THREE counts and awaiting sentencing. He showed his True Self when he dropped his “weak, blind, old man with a cane act” and apparently cursed out the Prosecutor! Ha ha!! Wish I could have been there..
I feel victorious!!! Anyone else?
Kate: Absolutely. Cosby is a scumbag! Drugging and raping…HG, I don’t know if your goal is to be the scariest, but you don’t engage in that level of shit. So, Cosby beats you on that. I hope you regard that as a compliment and not a slight.
It shows you that Cosby comes off as warm and funny and yet he will drug and rape you! Unbelievable! He even admitted to purchasing the drugs to give women. Such a sick man!
Dear NarcAngel,
You are a “super heroine …. I luv you just the way you are… please just keep being you
Luv your fan
Bubbles
Ps … Mr Tudor, there appears to be a great lack of Reply buttons, just thought you should know
Hi HG,
Unfortunately for me, my three choices are on the bottom of the list of most votes received. I am surprised that more people aren’t interested in familial Narcissists and hope that you address these relationships at some point.
The Contagion Empath was the least popular and the one that I am most interested in! As far as I know, you have made little mention of this type of Empath and therefore, I know little about this. Am I correct that this person can sense, experience others’ emotions and have a desire to gently soothe and assist the pain of the other person? And / or does this type of Empath have adverse physical reactions from interacting with some Narcissists? If so, why would this person only be adversely affected by some and not all Narcissists?
I would appreciate your answers very much!
Thank you!
Your questions will be answered when an article about the CE appears in the fullness of time.
Thank you, HG!
I knew that I might have asked too many questions, but thought it was worth a shot.
We will patiently await this article..
Kate
I can only speak for myself, but I am most at ease around more unemotional people. Even joyous, happy people are stressful to me after very long. It’s like being bombarded, maybe like having to walk in heavy rain. It’s not painful like sad or hurt people, but it still wears me out.
Narcissists have fewer emotions and as long as they are not drawing negative fuel can be calming for me. I don’t have much tolerance for fake emotion like when they’re trying to pretend or lie, but even that can be amusing at times – sad at times too, though.
I think the reason I’m still hanging out with my exhusband after 44 years is that he is a very intelligent, self-aware cerebral narcissist. He’s very predictable, relatively unemotional and knows exactly how much I can tolerate before I’ll walk away and is willing to not often cross that line. I can discuss events and problems with him and get intelligent, well thought out, unemotional answers.
Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a narc. It’s painful to watch him draw negative fuel from others. I have to stay emotionally detached or he will disappoint and hurt me and if we’re around each other too much, he can get on my last nerve! But still he is one of the most predictable people I know and i find that very soothing.
Kate,
I’m with you on both those votes; Familial Narcissists & Contagion Empaths! And I think your questions are quite perceptive; I patiently await HG’s answers with you and others.
Although I’d prefer to hear about HG’s personal experience with those two subjects – I’ll happily await generalities.
Hello HG, Do you think the Greater Narcissist, which you’ve described as aware and calculated in their actions- is so because they have sociopathic qualities (like yourself) along with NPD?
Yes.
In that way, HG, how do you understand or explain for yourself the difference between NPD and ASPD? (In your view are they on the same continuum or wholly different things?)
Sorry I am late to the party! How did I miss this???
Definitely a contagion empath article. And more on the super empath.
An article on Bill Cosby–convicted! I think having someone well known analyzed is fascinating.
How about how narcissists relate to personality tests? Enneagram–been reading much on that lately, as I’ve mentioned.
I think that would pull in new readers because there is a vibrant community that discusses that.
Thanks, HG. Your articles are never tedious, despite what Moody Moira claims.
Oh and why the fuck are so many of them closet cases?
Thank you, Windstorm, WhoCares and Bibi for letting HG know that we are all interested in the same subjects. I appreciate feeling supported and not the odd-one-out!
Hello HG.
The narc and Oedipus complex – it would be interesting to know how it is looks like från your- as narcissist- perspective
-unless you’ve already written about it and I’ve just missed it :/
NPD vs. Sex addiction would be a good one – I’ve seen several of us IPSS/DLS wondering about how to tell the difference
Sex addiction is a manifestation of NPD and is actually the addiction to fuel, saying it is an addiction to sex is actually laying the blame at “something else’s” door – the usual NPD behaviour.
HG..this reply is helpful. My ex I am sure had this addiction. It is useful to consider this for times when I yet again second guess myself over him. i.e. is he or isnt he a fully fledged narc or just very very narcissistic in general.
Also…
Re Poll:
I voted to find out some more about familial narcissists…. narcissists and secondary sources…and narcissists and digital relationships.
As you say most of the other things are covered in other articles.
I would have voted to find out more about your life and the good doctors etc …Matrinarc too…but these are the things you say you will cover in your forthcoming books. I would find these really interesting after reading a lot of your other work.
I mean interesting as in becoming more understanding on the subject as opposed to interesting in a “goldfish bowl” way.
It’s important to learn for understanding things.
For me personally it is so important to understand.
I am naturally understanding but always seek for more of it. It is a personal drive of mine to get to the bottom of things and understand them.
HG, punishment seduction. I saw the term in an article of yours… believe it relates to me. Have you already written in more detail on this elsewhere?
Not yet JM.
“punishment seduction”
^ ^ that’s my issue!!! always trying to have discussions about this without sounding crazy.