The Greater Narcissist – 5 Facts

the-greater-narcissist

 

The five central questions have been applied in respect if the Lesser and Mid-Range of our kind, but what of the Greater Narcissist? How do these five essential questions about the behaviour of the narcissist apply to him or her?

1.Do We Know What We Are Doing?

The Greater Narcissist is gifted (though of course his or her victims will not regard it as such) with an awareness of what he or she is. The greater of our kind knows that they are different. They know that they have this insatiable hunger for the outpouring of emotion, whether positive or negative, from those around them. The greater knows that there is a feeling of emptiness which pervades. Whilst the lesser has this manifest as sense of unease and irritation, the greater feels a yawning chasm which must be filled. The lesser operates by instinct, a knee-jerk response. The Greater Narcissist also operates through instinct but there is nothing knee jerk about him or her. This instinct is attuned in the sense of selecting the victims who will haemorrhage fuel. This instinct enables the most effective seduction, the most devastating devaluation and the most callous of discards. The instinct for scenting fuel and those who will provide it serves the Greater Narcissist considerably. He has an instinctive knack for selecting the best hunting grounds, an innate ability to target the most productive victims, a chilling capability to extract and exploit information and to cause people to think that what they are doing is a good thing and one they wish to take when in fact the Greater Narcissist is manipulating them. The Greater Narcissist is aware that he or she is different from other people. He or she knows that their emotional spectrum has been stunted or as we prefer to regard it, altered to achieve maximum efficiency in our machinations. The Greater Narcissist knows he operates in a different world to other people and revels in such a special status. He or she knows that they are superior, admired and feared.

  1. Do We Know We Hurt Others?

Unlike the instinctive response of the Lesser Narcissist or the instinctive but more controlled moderate reaction of the Mid-Ranger, the Greater Narcissist knows that he or she is an instrument that inflicts pain. Whether it is the withdrawal of something wonderful or delightful or the imposition of something unpleasant and hateful the Greater Narcissist knows that they hurt. They regard every action taken in this regard, every step, every machination as necessary for their survival and advancement. The Greater Narcissist fervently believes in the doctrine that the end always justifies the means. Pain, misery and hurt are by-products of the process which he or she must engage in. The inflicting of hurt on another person is regarded as a collateral consequence of the need to obtain fuel. The Greater Narcissist knows that during devaluation and the malign hoovers that the application of his or her behaviours is specifically directed to cause hurt. You will take the view that he or she does not care and you are correct in that view since the Greater Narcissist, like all narcissists is not created to care. What you ought to understand though is that this failure to care is actually secondary to the need to acquire fuel. If all that mattered was the inability to care, then we would administer hurtful behaviour all of the time. The reality is, the order of priority is that fuel must be obtained and during devaluation this causes hurt to other people and furthermore we are not designed to care about this hurt. By contrast, someone who is manipulating a dislocation back into place knows that pain will be occur but is a necessary consequence of the act. The difference is that this medic or doctor will care that the person is being put in pain and also seek to address that once the dislocation has been addressed.

  1. Do We Act Deliberately?

Everything that is done by the Greater Narcissist is deliberate. The lesser responds as a matter of course. The Mid-Ranger is largely governed by instinct but with a degree of control available to them they can consider what action to take and do so with a sense of purpose but this pales compared to the behaviour of the Greater Narcissist. The actions that are taken are planned. The seduction is orchestrated from careful target selection, the reconnaissance of the subject and the gathering of information is organised and the seduction is methodical and deliberate. The Greater Narcissist does not speak without first considering how effective those words are. Are they to be used to elevate or denigrate? Praise or punishment? Elated or eroded. Like some great architect in the sky the Greater Narcissist, in accordance with his god-like view of him or herself sees other people as chess pieces which are moved in accordance to his or her wishes to cause check mate. The Greater Narcissist purposefully manipulates everybody around him or her. Each person has a role, a position and a purpose. The Greater Narcissist acts with considerable deliberation and indeed this need to position and pose all the players in the narcissist’s world results in the need to control being overwhelming. To be this deliberate in manipulating other people requires a significant degree of control over other people and therefore the Greater Narcissist will exercise his or her skills to achieve that outcome. The Greater Narcissist regards the manipulation of others as a game and one which is enjoyable to engage in.

  1. Can We Control This Behaviour

Not only is the Greater Narcissist an expert in the control of others he exerts considerable control over his own behaviour. His higher functioning allows him considerable latitude to pass the blame onto others and feign an inability to control what he does.

“I don’t know what comes over me sometimes.”

“It as if something else takes control of me.”

“I cannot help it, it just happens.”

“It is like there is some other force that makes the decisions for me.”

All of these comments are lies.  The Greater knows he lies but does not care. He sees the lies as necessary to provoke his prey, to tie them up in knots, to hurt them and to bewilder them. He finds lying entertaining, part of the game he engages in and a tool. The Lesser and Mid-Ranger also lie extensively but those lies are their truth. They do not know they are lying and any evidence that is shown to them is automatically rejected by the application of the narcissist’s twin lines of defence, Denial and Distraction & Deflection. The Lesser and Mid-Range believe their lies, cannot be persuaded otherwise and will always maintain them because to them they represent their truth from their perspective. The Greater knows he or she lies, revels in doing so and does not care that he or she lies because it is deemed necessary.

The Greater Narcissist is able to direct his ignited fury to a level and extent beyond the capability of others of our kind. This is why often cold fury is exhibited by Greater Narcissists as we are able to control the ignited fury so that it does not emerge as heated fury and rarely does it show in the form of physical violence. Such a reliance on such brutality through physical action is regarded as beneath the Greater Narcissist and is an insult to his Machiavellian mind. The Greater Narcissist revels in his higher function allowing him to devise and apply far subtler and rewarding manipulations. He or she is also mindful of the consequences of providing damning physical evidence of the abuse. The only time this formidable control weakens is when the Greater Narcissist is thrown into Chaos Mode as a consequence of a sudden and unseen cessation to his or her primary source of fuel.

5        Can We Stop It?

The Greater Narcissist could stop his or her behaviour owing to the degree of control that he or she is able to exert but whilst there is the capability to stop this behaviour, both benign and malign, the Greater Narcissist will not do so. Firstly, this is because the Greater Narcissist sees no need to. Why stop something that is highly effective and serves a purpose in allowing him or her to shine and function at some an impressive (to him or her) level? Why halt doing something which always delivers? Secondly, the Greater Narcissist will not stop this behaviour because the malevolence which runs through him or her will not allow him to do so. Why give up such a delightful way of manipulating someone? Why relinquish such power over an individual? Why stop flexing those machinations? Why stop doing something that is both necessary but also enjoyable? The lesser does because he is programmed to always respond in such a fashion. Choice has been removed from his thought process. The Mid-Ranger does because he realises it is necessary for his survival but there is not enjoyment or malice driving the behaviour, it is mainly instinct allied with some awareness that the actions needs to be done because that makes the Mid Ranger feel “better”.

The Greater does because he or she can. The Greater does because he or she is driven by the furious malice which burns at the centre of the narcissist. This malice arises because the higher functioning Greater Narcissist is more aware than the others of his brethren just how unfair and brutal the world is. He is attuned to its attempts to depose and dethrone and he knows that engendering and harnessing this malice is entirely necessary for the purpose of protection. It is better to strike first than be struck. It is better to get the retaliation in first. He who dares wins. The Greater is a dangerous individual because not only does he regard what he does as entirely necessary, he is driven not only by the need for fuel but by the malice that is wrapped around his core. This means he goes further, longer, stronger and more often than others of his kind. He is the defiler, the punisher and the destroyer of worlds. Your worlds.

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59 thoughts on “The Greater Narcissist – 5 Facts”

      1. I suspect I have a mid range on my hands as a husband. We’ve been married for 7 years. We rarely argue because I’m always worried he will use silent treatment on me. His silent treatments range from 1 day to 3 months IF I follow his lead. He’s never left the house so I guess he’s using PST type? We’ve 2 kids. Does a mid-range stay just until the kids turn 18 so he won’t pay child support (a form of getting fuel)?

      2. The Mid Range stays so long as the Prime Aims are being catered for and so long as there is no disengagement trigger or the victim escapes.

      3. Confused he will likely stay to maintain the facade while gathering fuel from all three of you using various manipulations.

        Is he upper, middle or lesser midrange? The narcissist’s fuel matrix part 2 should help u figure that out. When you find the right one every word of it will ring true. The descriptions are spot on. It’s creepy…

        I have experience with the MMrN who was mentally abusive but seemingly responsible when it came to his children’s needs as far as rides, financial support, custody visits etc. Until they graduated high school. He loved to play the “regular guy” the perfect and attentive divorced dad. He constantly attempted to triangulate me with his kids. Whenever he wanted to push me away he cancelled, became busy with them and all of our conversations were about them. Those listening skills came in handy…. He definitely played them against each-other and his son was the golden child. I could tell they were afraid of how he would react.

      4. This is so creepy…I’m so scared. I read the fuel matrix and reread it. My husband is definitely a mid-range but has something from all 3 groups. In the Lesser MR, he definitely is the Incredible Sulk. In the Middle MR, he is very envious. I vividly remember I pass an IT exam which is difficult especially for someone who doesn’t have much of an IT background, he downplayed my passing it saying that it was easy. And he just said one word, “congratulations”, that was a text actually. Then my job increased my pay by 11% and he said that was because I’m being underpaid. When it comes to the Upper Mid-range, he’s very intelligent and uses the exclusionary tactic a looot. The thing is, he’ll cut off people that we both are friends with and as soon as I distance myself with those same people, he’ll have those friendships rebuilt. Another trait of him is that he expects me to work and be responsible for the household chores and kids. He has cutoff his dad because he said he abused him, some people claim the dad is a narc. My husband’s favorite word is, respect. That he won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting him. As for the kids, he doesn’t spend time with them. He’ll sit all by himself for 12 hours straight. When the kids approach him, he sends them to me. Honestly, this stuff is consuming. It’s incredible. For me I saw all these traits as him being too full of ego and pride. Until recently, I started feeling he’s abusing me emotionally. He’s very covert. He can speak to a beggar or a president as if he knew them for ages. Damn…so so confused. Just going to focus on healing.

  1. Hi HG. 🙂

    Just popped in to say the new Graphics look great..

    Really enjoyed listening to your comments on WNAAD so informative & easy to understand..

    And a massive CONGRATULATIONS hitting 10K ..

    Thank you as always ..

    NNS . x

  2. Hg I was reading the comments and saw Diane’s comment and I have also had someone tell me you can push back. Is that a red flag? It seems to me like it would be because they are trying to provoke a reaction from me.

  3. Hg one of my coworkers will always say some jokingly rude things to me and others and then say you know you can push back if we don’t come back at him. Is this a sign of him being aware he wants a reaction/fuel? If so is that awareness a sign he is likely a greater?

  4. “This malice arises because the higher functioning Greater Narcissist is more aware than the others of his brethren just how unfair and brutal the world is.”

    Why is the world unfair and brutal?
    Is The Greater Narcissist able to answer himself?

      1. Well where would the challenge be if EVERYTHING bended to your will?
        That would make life somewhat boring wouldn’t it?

      2. Tudor, what about: because we try to manipulate decent people, spoiling their emotional balance?

        Just a possibility, of course…😉

  5. If a person at a very young age as a kid knew how to draw fuel from elders such as hiding as if he/she was a missing person and watch them look for her/him in total chaos and when the adults after few times realise he/she is fooling them so ignored the last attempt I guess that was huge critcism and returned in 2 minutes could this be a sing of him/her being a greater because of awareness how to manipulate in that fashion at such a young age .

    This particular person I’m referring to shown multiple times Narcissist traits in adulthood . shows satisfaction with laughter/smile after negative emotions are triggered by the comments that were made (and so much more off course ) . But can act like a victim ( this is why I’m not quite sure )

    1. I would not see it as an indicator of a Greater and in itself nor an indicator of narcissism. They may just regard it as a game, not reading the distress of those searching for the individual.

      1. Very interesting !!
        Glad to know this person could be ; not a narcissist at all .
        Thank you . 😊

      2. We all love a game of hide and seek. If you would have said yes that an indication. holy crap I am dealing with 6. They love playing in malls and grocery stores due to my anxiety I panic and they laugh. The youngest was like” gosh did you think someone stole us” 😊 I said no, if so they would return you immediately.

  6. Hello HG, I noticed something that struck me as particularly odd: You wrote, “Why stop doing something that is both necessary but also enjoyable?” Therefore, you are capable of feeling joy, be that joy in doing certain activities, etc, just like a regular person. Where you may differ, perhaps, it that what brings you joy is doing evil to others, inflicting pain to others, and elevating your fake-self in your mind. I`’ve got to wonder if that joy is real, since it belongs to the fake identity.

    1. A fair point given the word used, I do not experience joy, perhaps it would have been more accurate to use rewarding.

      1. Hi Again HG, You wrote the following, “Why give up such a delightful way of manipulating someone? . . . . Why stop doing something that is both necessary but also enjoyable? . . . . The Mid-Ranger does because he realises it is necessary for his survival but there is not enjoyment or malice driving the behaviour, it is mainly instinct allied with some awareness that the actions needs to be done because that makes the Mid Ranger feel “better”.” And then there is your statement that is “necessary but also enjoyable” HG, You claim delight which is another word for an emotion that is of joy, and you also use enjoyable to describe the emotions felt. This is inconsistent with your reply. Was the word delightful not intended?

      2. I can describe something as delightful as I understand what the word means even if one does not feel delight. This is done to communicate more effectively with those reading, uses descriptions which they understand. If I kept using the word ‘powerful’ since it is the power that we feel, it would make reading somewhat repetitive, but you are correct to raise the point for clarification.

  7. WHen u select a victim, what do u look for? Do you have any remorse playing around with the emotions of a childhood friend? Someone u have known for 30 plus years?

    1. Yes, but do you really want to conquer and survive someone else’s reality, or your own? Winning the battle = not fighting someone else’s battle.

  8. I do not think, that the Greater is able to stop. If he stops his malicious behaviour then there is nothing else than the void. He thinks that he controls the situation but I think his defective and underdeveloped brain
    controls him. What should he feel without jealousy, envy, aggressiveness, greediness and fury? He would be lost in a desert of missing emotions. He would be so bored until his malicious traits would break through and win the game again.

  9. What if the malice and chaos mode then comes with legal consequences? Will anything stop the greater?

    1. Those legal consequences are more likely to apply to those puppeted by the Greater than the Greater himself who will distance himself from culpability and use significant plausible deniability.

      1. HG, referring to your comment, May15,2018 at 10:38, do you really believe that a Ted Bundy was no greater ? Or a harmless example comparing to Bundy, Bill Cosby is a lesser or a little mid-range? Both paid for their magical thinking of superiority in the end. Cosby does not realise his social fall down and Bundy denied his fall until his last day.
        He still tried to manipulate people, not realising the truth.

    2. Nomorenarc

      Legal consequences stop my exhusband. I often wonder if the fear of jail and all its public problems isn’t the only thing keeping him from psycopathic/sociopathic behavior (he has basically admitted this to me, but you know narcs – he could be lying).
      He is very smart, but very lazy as well. If he thinks it would take too much effort or be too much risk, he won’t do it.

      1. Thank you windstorm. He is of the malicious cerebral greater kind, I’m fearful that will increase his rage even further; however i believe he has conditioned me to feel this way always.

  10. I was near the end of writing my thesies, and the Greater was reading through the argumentation and the conclusion. He suddenly marked the written pages and pressed delete. He looked at me and said calmly: «this was C-level writing»

    A few weeks after I was presenting my thesies, and he was in the audience. When I was done he entered the podium, and proudly said: «I am so proud of my Viking Queen. I have helped her a lot, and she managed to deliver A-level work».

    For the record: I managed to restore the deleted work, and the thesies were the same as my, in his first statement, C-level work🙃

    1. So you went from a lesser to a greater? So did I. Beware of the Midranger who’s up and coming, they can be hard to spot. I liked your letter.

      1. Jess.. I think I had a brief go around with a mid recently that ghosted me after 3 months then tried a hoover using a diffrent phone because I blocked him. They are all shitty . I went from greater to lesser and a brief mid ranger, 2 of which were law enforcement (one was retired Lt) and the lesser I found out later was a felon..suprise! I truely believe there a shit ton of narcs in law enforcement hand down. Im curious how many people here that have had more than one narc went from which type to which type. Would be interesting to see I think.

      2. Hi Jess😊
        It was the other way around for me. If I had not met the UL, I would not have searched the web for NPD, and I would not have found this blog. It was after I started reading here I understood that I had been in a relationship with a Greater.

        Thank you for your kind comment about my letter.

      3. All three of my entanglements were with US Marines. After 9 yrs with the beligerant UL, I met the LGN. In contrast, he was calm and kind. He left me confused and I learned I felt better being away from him. He kept me close by hiring me to paint his building (one of my favorite things to do.) He hoovers by sending his friends to ask me to paint for them. I escaped after 2 yrs and met the MMRN. I was engulfed and so enamored that when he withdrew his attention, I was left spinning with anxiety. His stranger mode was the creepiest thing I had ever seen… See “Why does he seem so odd?” This “volte face” was how I learned about narcissism. After all I had been through I found my mental state deteriorating. Not acceptable at all. Then I found HG and it was like a bomb of understanding went off.

  11. HG,
    as you said that narcissists have a black and white thinking,
    for exemple after a while, he painted me white in his head and try to contact me, then realize that he is blocked and ignored…
    am I immediately painted black again because of that?
    and is that could be reason for malign hoover next time?

      1. HG,
        If it is a reason for malign hoover ignoring and blocking, why no contact is recommended than? He never applied malign hoover against me ,I am little bit scared now

      2. Because if you do it properly the malign hoover cannot get through and therefore there is no need to be concerned.

  12. Thank you, HG! Your writing on Greater Narcs are my favorite because I feel like they’re that brilliant and subtle, that I’m still questioning if my ex-greater was a narcissist all together. Will you write more on The Greater Narcissist? I feel as though it’s the least written about, yet you’d have the most knowledge of yourself…

    I’ve gone through your website pretty extensively… Is there a specific book that has a significant emphasis on The Greater Elite, like yourself? I am currently reading Sitting Target (and enjoying it)!

    Also, do Greater Narcs have more subtle devaluation? When I think back to my relationship, I recognize that it was happening, but it wasn’t very, i don’t know.. malicious? mean? Even my callous discard was borderline pleasant as he kindly helped me move my things out, took me out for a nice “last dinner”, and could barely hold back a smile as I’d cry my eyes out.

    Thanks again, HG, you’ve done more for me than you know!

    1. Thank you, I am pleased you are enjoying Sitting Target. There is not a specific book on the Greater Elite, although there will be work on each of the schools in due course.

      Greaters can devalue in very subtle ways, yes.

    2. Jenna
      My exhusband can be very subtle in his maliciousness. He’s very good at saying and doing things that seem very innocent, but make me begin questioning something that I know is true. He gets fuel from being able to manipulate and the other person never even realize they were manipulated.

      Of course he has a warped sense of humor and enjoys it when you do catch on and react negatively too. In a way, all his interactions with everybody is just one big game that he’s playing all the time.

  13. Is a covert passive aggressive that has to look like the good guys greater or mid narcissist?

  14. Your conclusion is right he once told me he ruined my life.

    I thought that was really presumptuous because no my life is not ruined.

    I guess that is his perspective – plus the opposite one that he saved me and that I owe him big time go figure

    1. That’s a theme. Dad said he would ruin my life. Narcy said he “didn’t want to ruin my life”.

      They want us to believe they have total power over us?

      1. Iroll
        I’m sure they’d like us to believe they have total power over us. They certainly think that they have power over us – probably not total unless they’re delusional.

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