The Mockery of Mimicry
I love to copy. I have to copy. It is all I have known for as long as I can remember. It is my natural setting to mimic those around me. I have to fit in, I have to belong and the most effective way for me to achieve this is to replicate everything that I come into contact with. If I interact with an esteemed academic I will listen to his or her achievements and then pass those off as my own as I peel away their glittering accolades and apply them to myself. Should I spend time with an exceptional sporting individual then their record-breaking endeavours will be purloined for my benefit and sported as my own in furtherance of my own belief in my exceptional ability. Author? Yes I have written books too. Model? Yes I do some modelling from time to time. Chef? You should try my signature dish, it is heavenly. Everyone I have dealings with presents me with an opportunity to copy an element of their personality. character or personae so that I may then present it as my own and in so doing I shine brighter and become an even more attractive prospect to those whose lives I effortlessly infiltrate.
This skill at mimicry enables me to ghost in and out of people’s lives. I know the social norms which are applicable and through careful examination and application I am able to pass as one just like you. I am a facsimile of a decent, personable and engaging individual and this allows me access to my targets without raising any alarms. My veneer of respectability has been fashioned from all those that I engage with, gathering patches, fragments, shards and pieces until they are hewn together and I drape it about me allowing me to come and go as I please.
It is however with you that I exhibit the astonishing mimicry of which I am a master. Once I have selected you as my target I have learned much about you already. With what will eventually be recognised as alarming ease, I replicate a fondness for all those things which you like and a distaste for all those things that you dislike. Think back and you will readily recall how I love horse-riding just as you did, that I enjoyed swimming in open water just like you and my passion for the works of Geoffrey Chaucer matched yours. Those interests which were close to you became interests that were close to me. Your appreciation of an excellent bottle of Chateau Margaux was matched by my ability to remember the applicable tasting notes and recite them to you as if it was my own appreciation. I would mimic the way you sat, copying your body language because I know, from extensive practice that this paves the way to bonding with you. I would mimic your speech patterns to form a sub-conscious link between us. I liked blue because you liked blue. I found listening to soul music an offence to my ears but I maintained a false enjoyment of it since you liked it so much. I actually enjoy choosing from the Crustacea bar but your dislike of seafood meant that I too turned lobster and oysters away. How often did you remark aloud, to me or to your friends,
“We have so much in common.”
“We like so many of the same things it is wonderful.”
“We share so many interests, I love it.”
“We are so well matched. On every level. We really are soulmates.”
Of course we are. I made it so because I wanted to be everything you wanted. I took your long list of likes and dislikes, your catalogue of loves and hates and your grimoire of hopes and fears and I copied each and every page. I am a walking photocopier and I copied everything you wanted in order to ensure that my seduction of you was successful, encompassing and absolute.
Yet, my astonishing powers of mimicry did not end there. Goodness me no, there was more yet to come. In a particularly unpleasant twist to this malevolent skill of mine I would mimic your responses to my devaluation of you but this time it would not be a complete facsimile, I would make a slight change to my copying so that you would be undermined even further.
When you stood there crying with frustration and I drank deep of the delicious fuel you provided me, I would raise my hands to my eyes and draw pretend tears on my cheeks and make a sobbing noise to humiliate you further. Here I was letting you know that I copied everything that went before yet now I copy again but not with the perfection I once exhibited. I allow the sting of sarcasm and the malicious mockery to infiltrate my copying of your behaviour so that your hurt and bewilderment was increased. You would shout at me and I would shout back using the exact words before standing and laughing at you as you burned with frustration, unable to find any response. You might stamp your feet in exasperation and I would do the same but with a leer of disdain writ large across my face.
There were times when you would scream. A terrified scream as my vicious manipulations would take their toll and as you tried to curl into a ball and hope you might just disappear and escape this nightmare, I would lean in close to you and mimic your scream into your ear, creating this fabricated falsetto of distress in order to further your own. Every reaction to my devaluation of you had the potential to be met by a mimicked reply from me in order to further your misery and demonstrate I did not treat your responses with any sincerity or concern.
I am the master of mimicry, the king of copying and the duke of duplication. I am a walking and talking photocopier machine. I put the rank in Rank Xerox.
18 thoughts on “The Mockery of Mimicry”
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MB, I think I get what you mean with ‘sugar coat’ in comparison resp. within the realm of this blog.
I do support ASPD’s ‘harsh reality statement’ as it contains some essential truth that has been taught on this blog. With that being said, as other commenters have stated, I’m interested in female greater perspectives in addition to the content provided.
I found the “shark in a pool of defenseless school of fish”, the “female praying mantis” and “living mind fuck” analogies, each for themselves and in combination, rather entertaining than impressive or anything else. That was my immediate and most honest reaction when reading the comment. I don’t know if those were intended as a means of intimidation or to underline the (otherwise valid) points but the “in your face attitude” and style of writing are quite emotive for someone who claims to not give a fuck in any respect.
Yeah, as time went on I definitely noticed him copying me more and more….and emphasizing the “You” back at me.
Me: “You are so beautiful”
Him: “YOU are so beautiful”
Me: “I have missed you”
Him: “I have missed YOU”
He used to enjoy my compliments. Until he didn’t. Then he seemed to hate my compliments. And then most times a compliment would just be repeated back to me.
He also quoted movies all the time too. I actually enjoyed that though because I tend to do the same thing. But the copy cat compliments (that I am recalling them) really irked me.
FOTS, mine use to copy my compliments and give then to other women. They can’t think of their own
Oh yeah, I relate to that too. Mine would see what compliments worked, and then that’s all he would say….over and over. But my fav movie moment, was when he said, “I see you”….from Avatar. Ha ha ha. What he saw, was his reflection in my eyes, but when my reflection changed, well, we all know how it ends.He also compared himself to OO7, and I was Lindsay Lohan, hahaha, but I objected since I am a brunette, and he quickly changed it to Anne Hathaway. He called me her, at a dinner he took me to, with money he got from stealing my valuables, and selling them, behind my back. The great irony of it was, what he stole was a sculpture that belonged to my ex husband (narc#1), and my wedding silver. I enjoyed my dinner, and still enjoy that it was paid for from things that reminded me of narc#1. He’ll never know.
You recount your warcrimes as though it’s a comedy.
We die. We are the decent reality. You are a horror. He wants me dead. Why is my life forfeit? Why are my peace and sanity forfeit? If you are all left with only each other, then what?
You people are far far more than 4% of the population.
My soul is dying and he wants my body dead, too. He has already tried to kill me several times. He gets so angry when I do well even when it’s something he told me to do.
You are all murderers. You are defective pieces of horror laden shit. You are the ones who should die.
And what H.G. is trying to tell you is that you need to realize – we don’t give a fuck (harsh, I know, but it’s reality).
I’m a shark swimming through an unsuspecting and defenseless school of fish. I’m a female praying mantis who fucks her prey then bites its head off. I’m a walking, talking, living, breathing, flesh and blood mind fuck that lives to manipulate and devour and I can’t be effective without people like you.
So instead of sitting there blaming him for your woes, when do you take responsibility and realize that if you don’t think you deserve to be treated this way you can do something about it to make life better for yourself???
As much as you don’t understand how someone can treat you like this, I don’t understand why you allow it. I’ve read H.G.’s explanations as to why you do (and really, I’m glad you do because it suits my purpose in the end), but I can’t wrap my head around it.
The fact is, I target people like you because I know you’ll put up with my shit. I know I can push you as far as humanly possible and chances are, you’ll sit there and take it. You’ll forgive me if I pretend to be sorry. You’ll accept all of my excuses, no matter how lame, and you’ll let me take you to the brink of death and back as many times as I please.
Your life is forfeit because you, knowing or unknowingly, willingly or unwillingly, forfeited it to someone like me.
The harsh reality is – you don’t have to live this way if you don’t want to and you don’t have to allow someone to treat you this way. If you don’t put a stop to it, it’s a cycle that will keep repeating itself over and over and over again. It won’t stop unless you make it stop.
I get away with murder because people like you let me.
No offense to this reader, but in contrast to this post, turns out, HG does soften the blow of his message. I was going to say sugar coat, but that’s going a bit far. Same message, more brutal.
H.G. is agreeable and helpful because it suits his purpose. If he was to deliver his message in a brutal or malicious way, no one would want to learn from or support his work, let alone interact with him.
You’re all helping him achieve his goals and in turn, you’re learning from him. It’s a win-win situation which is incredibly rare. In most cases, we aren’t well known for being an especially helpful bunch.
I don’t mince words (unless I have to in order to make what I am a bit less obvious) and I can be extremely brutal. Try not to take it to personally.
Twlight, found her haha
What you wrote sounds eerily like the last narc. Not giving a fuck, is your right. Not investing my energy in someone who doesn’t give a fuck, is what I needed to learn. Narcs win at trickery, because it’s the only game they have. They will never know what it feels like, to be loved, without the tricks. Power, according to my reality, is not about winning some fucking manipulation game, but about being strong enough to let love in, an ability that narcs profoundly lack. This makes you deficient, defective, and the real loser. I guess this makes us both winners in our own view of reality, and I wouldn’t trade places for the world.
“He gets so angry when I do well even when it’s something he told me to do.”
Leslie, There is nothing that you could do that would please a narc when he wants negative reactions from you. Eveything that happens in a relationship with them is on their terms and nothing that we do can control the way our relationship with them will go. I learned that here. I just treat everything that I read here as educational. I try to compartmentalize when I read his anecdotes so that it doesn’t depress me so much. A huge factor why we become prey to these people is our naiveté and by reading from a predator’s perspective we can counter that.
Also if you are in fear of your life from him you need to get help. Maybe talk to a law enforcer about your situation or go to an outfit that helps women in abusive relationships. You need people to support you. This is the time to reconnect with family and friends. One of the things that narcs do is isolate us from our support system because it makes us more vulnerable. Take the power back and do the thigs that he doesn’t want you to do. Reconnect with old friends and family, broaden your social circle, go no contact. There are articles here that teach us those things and from my experience they are true.
When a narcissist creates a fake world with their targets during the golden period, it is full of lies and illusion. The love and the happiness are all illusions. You did not share anything with him like you thought you did. You were the only person in the relationship who felt the love and the happiness while he felt like a god creating an illusionary world with you as a toy. It is the same way during the devaluation. This dark world where you are not loved by anyone, where you do not matter, where you are alone and in his mercy, these are all fake. It’s not real. Step out of that illusionary world that he created and show him that the power in YOUR life is yours!
I am praying really hard for you Leslie. I pray that you will discover how strong you really are and that the narc who took advantage of you really mean nothing to you.
‘Put the rank in Rank Xerox.’ Hahahaha. Did anyone ever tell you that you stink, HG? (kidding – not trying to wound!)
The last narc used to quote lines from movies. It was pretty hilarious. I don’t think he had an original thought. It was this fact, that helped me realize that it was all a sham, which then helped me detach, because my affection for him, was based on some cheap lines from a movie, and not coming from any place real. Realizing that is all he’s got to offer, has also left me feeling a little sorry for him. But I won’t be telling him that. Cause when you know, YOU GO :).
Ha! Mine has entire books memorized.
My mom did this to me whenever I would get so angry with her and have an outburst. That was her way of humiliating me, making me feel or think that my reaction was ridiculous and absurd and it forced me to contain or control my anger. She would also do this if I disagreed with her, she would mimic what I said with a voice inflection of a child like what I said was really stupid. I hated this so much.
Wow. Well, HG, with this piece it’s official, you’ve just managed to make narcex look like a prince among men. I suppose if I had to experience a narcissist I ought consider myself fortunate it was the benign, calm, cerebral UMRN that it was. At least I’ve never had to endure what your appliances have endured.
Sorry everyone, can’t answer back. Can only leave HG a reply. I have to go through Facebook to be a part of the blog.
And HG, my eye’s are wide open… I’ve done things like this before. Not on across the board scale like a true narcissists. My parent’s taught me very little so I would mimic, or copy other’s to get by. But wound up being a super empath, codependent, dirty empath and naval gazer. See, I learned those terms from you.
But there’s good in knowing, as in education from you, I’m learning some of who I am.
And the music thing… I’m going to try and get my magic back. I bought a guitar for 20 dollar’s at a thrift store. It’s a start.
Hmm