The Haunted Chamber



Your heart has its haunted chamber,

Where the silent treatment falls,

On the floor are stalking footsteps,

Malicious whispers along the walls.

Though your perfect love is manifold,

This chamber will still persist,

Its lingering hurt and sadness,

Is decreed to always exist.

No matter how you shine and smile,

‘Tis a place of frigid cold,

That now no love, no joy, no care

Can relinquish its endless hold.

Your heart these times is haunted,

By phantoms of our past,

So insidious is the infection

It seems it will always last.

A form sits by your window,

Always in your corner eye,

Waiting and watching all night long

Yet never answering why.

I sit there in the moonlight,

Hatred etched across my face,

And point a blaming finger,

To avoid my own disgrace.

I haunt your heart and memory,

My poison flows yet still,

To remind you of your treachery,

And to scold you for causing me ill.

Each lonely darkened midnight,

You will hear my accusing wail,

The bitter and twisted arguments,

Still remain beyond the pale.

This phantom’s baleful glare,

Seems to absorb and drain your will,

The remembering of torment,

Places in your heart sick chill.

My haunting clouds your remembrance,

All else becomes thin air,

The shadows form and twist now,

So you always see me there.

The knock upon your window pane,

Wrenches your thought from me,

A relentless drumming announcement,

From the gloomy darkened tree.

There stands our oak, rain-slicked, boughs bent,

A place that was sanctuary,

We climbed it often together,

To imagine being free.

Yet now near lifeless monument,

It serves only to torment,

The greying bark and sorest wounds,

Form the night’s empty lament.

I know you look there still each night,

I know you see me there,

The haunting of your aching heart

Ne’er relieved by earnest prayer.

Your chained and weighted pensive guilt,

Is naught to my own hell,

But yours is bound in silence,

Since you can never tell.

Beneath the oaken branches,

Is the grave of that little child,

Who fell from grace so violently,

And never wept nor smiled.

So your heart remains an empty chamber,

Where my hatred will reside,

And evermore I will punish you,

For what you have always denied.

What once shone bright and golden,

Is dulled and tarnished deep,

And the memory of your failings,

Will steal away your sleep.

I blamed her then so I blame you now,

It all must  wither and turn bad,

Since I have no hope but to see you

As the parent I never had.

Listen to the Haunted Chamber

208 thoughts on “The Haunted Chamber

  1. MommyPino says:

    Wow, first of all I’m so impressed with how you are able to get these information. I don’t remember seeing any of these info.

    So he’s amazingly attractive, talented, intelligent, and can sing and play the piano. He really is dangerous. His victims didn’t even have a chance. He sounds like every woman’s dream guy. Why did he have to be a narc. 😢

  2. Fuel on the Shelf says:

    I have chills from reading that. And just in time for Halloween too! I agree with you MB! HG needs to read “The Raven” to us!!! That would be an awesome little treat.

    Is there going to be another contest for 12 million?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not this time FOTS.

      1. Fuel on the Shelf says:

        Ah well. Hopefully for 13 million then!

  3. Rose says:

    On your desk is a red pill, if you were to take it, you would be able to feel, love, joy, hope, compassion and have the ability to feel empathy, human beings are no longer an appliance. You no longer need to seek fuel as you have the ability to generate this within you. Most importantly after you feel the full spectrum of emotion you are able to forgive…family members, friends, and more importantly yourself. The effects of the red pill can continue for as long as you wish…
    Beside the red pill is a blue pill, if you decide that the effects of the red pill are not what you wish, you may take the blue pill to revert back to your narcissistic state.
    Would you take the red pill?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Can it be a different colour please, I don’t like red.

      1. Clarece says:

        How about a white pill? Then would you try it?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Isn’t that an aspirin?

          1. MB says:

            My Prozac is white.

            For the sake of discussion, as this is purely hypothetical, I would take the pill to make myself a narcissist for a day. It would be quite liberating to remove the guilt noose.

          2. Fuel on the Shelf says:

            MB, I would love to take a pill that would make me a narc for a day! Oh the grass is always greener…

          3. MB says:

            FOTS, and curiosity killed the cat. I find it refreshing that HG wants to learn about our kind as much as we want to learn about his.

          4. Clarece says:

            Oh staaahhopp. Lol
            For the sake of argument, it’s the pill that can let you experience all the emotions you never have, and have the ability to self love (fuel). Then you can take the blue pill to go back to regular HG.
            White is your favorite color.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Distasteful as it would be my desire for knowledge would have me take the red pill and then schedule to take the blue pill (and guaranteed to do so) 48 hours later.

          6. K says:

            It sounds like the morning-after pill. A safe and effective way to prevent empathy up to five days after conception.

          7. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha very good.

          8. Clarece says:

            I applaud your thirst for knowledge over being stubborn, HG!

          9. HG Tudor says:

            I am never stubborn, only ever right.

          10. Twilight says:

            Intriguing image of you HG, with warm fuzzies. That feels like a itchy wool coat upon skin.

      2. Fuel on the Shelf says:

        Hahahahahahahaha!!! The empathy-after pill.

        1. K says:

          Fuel on the Shelf
          That is a fabulous name for it! It would be very interesting to see HG with the warm and fuzzies for 48 hours.

          1. MB says:

            K, it would be interesting to see HG. Period.

          2. K says:

            If you are using a lap top, just google search his image on and tilt your laptop so it is at an acute angle, even though he is wearing sunglasses and he is sporting a mustache and beard, you get the general idea.

          3. HG Tudor says:

            That isn’t me.

          4. K says:

            Damn! I was hoping it was you!

          5. MB says:

            I was able to find this picture of him online quite a while back. It may have been removed since for protection of his identity:

          6. MB says:

            It’s alright K. I’m lost anyway. I’m fairly sure HG doesn’t show up on film! I applaud him on his ability to keep his identity a secret. Quite a feat in today’s world.

          7. MB says:

            My guess is that there are many pictures of you available online if searching by your true identity, correct?

          8. K says:

            Let’s see if he answers that one.

          9. MB says:

            Of course he won’t answer that K. But really, how many people can you search their real name and not find something? I know you’ve googled yourself! And a narcissist? There are absolutely pictures of him!

          10. HG Tudor says:

            No there aren’t.

          11. WhoCares says:

            Ah, shoot…and I was just about to do a similar image search with some pics of Daniel Craig…such a tease, HG!

          12. MB says:

            Not even a professional head shot on your LinkedIn profile?

          13. HG Tudor says:

            Don’t have one.

          14. MB says:

            Me either anymore thanks to my learning at HGU. Zero social media for this empath!

          15. Clarece says:

            No photos as HG Tudor, but under your real name and aliases for work. I mean you probably have a lanyard with an I.D. photo. You have a passport. You have a driver’s license. Oh yes, indeed, there are pics of you out there

          16. HG Tudor says:

            No there aren’t.

          17. Clarece says:

            There is a baby picture of you somewhere on this planet…

          18. MB says:

            But not online Clarece. It took a little while for google to catch up after I closed all my social media accounts, but finally, I can google and get no pictures of myself! It IS possible!

          19. Clarece says:

            Hahahaha MB! I gotcha. HG makes it sound like there are no photos of any kind of him that are tangible or virtual in existence. lol

          20. windstorm says:

            Clarece and MB
            You all got me curious so I googled myself. There are no pictures of me, either (no surprise as paranoid as I am). But what totally cracked me up was under photos two of the pictures were head shots of German Shepherd Dogs!!! 😆

          21. MB says:

            WS, it is possible to have have no online presence as far as pictures. But if you own any property…public records are just that…public. I find that unfortunate. Renting gets you further under the radar.

          22. windstorm says:

            Yes. That’s how it is with my sketchy online info – mainly deed related

          23. Clarece says:

            I googled Images for my real name. The only picture that comes up is my profile pic for LinkedIn. Not any other social media.

          24. MB says:

            Clarece, that LinkedIn pic is a tough one. Google finds that every time. That’s why I asked HG about his. You can set your FB privacy not to allow your profile to come up in searches. You must have yours locked down pretty well. Good for you!

          25. K says:

            He is a crafty devil after all.

          26. MB says:

            K, I wouldn’t want to be the one that tagged him without permission! Ouch!

          27. K says:

            Ouch is right! Fucked you would be. (yoda-ism)

          28. Fuel on the Shelf says:

            I agree! It would be really cool to see what HG looks like! I doubt it will ever happen though!!

      3. Bibi says:

        Why don’t you like red? I thought you would with all that inward blood you bloom. Do you like the colour of puke yellow? That is my colour.

        I don’t like me! I am the underbelly of a toad or the upchuck of a cat. I am the colour of worms that manifest out a dog’s ass.

        Love me for my inner beauty, somebody.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I find tomatoes offensive.

      4. kel says:

        Wouldn’t it be funny if he turned out to be James Corden? Blonde hair, blue eyes, not fifty… sense of humor… English… !

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Not a fucking chance.

          1. MB says:

            HG Tudor is not obese, remember?

          2. Clarece says:

            Ha ha HG!

        2. Clarece says:

          Quick! Does anyone know if James Corden is 6’1″, likes 12-17th English / British history, knows ballistics, has no tattoos, and likes his Vesper martini stirred and not shaken? Because James is playing piano in the video clip I posted above…

          1. windstorm says:

            You better watch it, Clarece! You’re going to end up painted all black and sitting on that naughty step!

          2. Clarece says:

            Hi WS! I’ll make my way back up. I always do!

          3. K says:

            Ha ha ha….Clarece is begging for it!

          4. Clarece says:

            I’m not even warmed up yet, K. 😉

      5. kel says:

        Woo! Gotcha Mr Tudor! Corden patooie, yuck!! He wishes!!! ❤️

      6. kel says:

        He, whose name we cannot say, is 5’8. Clues: He said he has a disdain for Hollyoaks, he’d rather die than return to the soap, and says his former colleagues had inflated opinions of their talent. He seems to be all about Love – says his childhood home was a cocoon of love, he got bullied at school, and his favorite band is Take That. Truth seekers , how does he tie into the picture?

      7. kel says:

        HG, I don’t want to uncover the mystery of you. I like you just the way you are. And James is just someone who’s on if you’re still awake after the Colbert show.

        Do you ever picture us or wonder what we look like? It doesn’t really matter. And I also don’t want my identity exposed for work reasons. This is a nice place to share our deepest feelings.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Sometimes and I do know what a number of my readers look like.

          1. MB says:

            Kel, some bloggers have their picture as their avatar. We can all see them. Clarece and FOTS come to mind. And of course NA is the original cat woman!

          2. windstorm says:

            And a lot of us have put our pics up in the past and then taken them down

          3. MB says:

            WS, awww. Yours must have been up before I came along. Wish I could see your sweet face 🙂 I do think it’s best to be
            Incognito though.

          4. windstorm says:

            Look fast, MB. I’ll try to put it up for a couple days.

          5. MB says:

            I see it. You are precious! Very similar to the way I imagined. I left mine up overnight just for you. ❤️

          6. windstorm says:

            I appreciate that MB. It is very nice to have a face to go with our friends.

          7. WhoCares says:

            It’s lovely to see your face Windstorm…you have very kindly eyes. I think I’ve seen your pic in the past when I first started reading the blog but that was when I had no clue who was who.

            I glimpsed yours as well MB!…I understand the sunglasses but it’s always nice to see someone’s eyes…

            (says the one with the profile pic that is the back of her head, lol)

          8. windstorm says:

            Thank you WhoCares!

          9. MB says:

            WC, I never realized that was the back of your head! Lovely. You look like you are in a dark room developing pictures.

          10. WhoCares says:

            Thank-you MB 🙂
            I guess, technically, it’s my ear and shoulder (but that’s cropped) and the red tone is from an old school slide projector image of a sunset.
            (A looong time ago I worked with a fine art photographer). I like it because it is me but not recognizable.

            By the way; I love your choice of unicorn profile image! Ooh, and your choice of pic for HG you dug up in earlier post – especially that one.

          11. K says:

            Christ, it is picture day on narcsite!

          12. MB says:

            Yes K! You are tiny and look very much like I imagined. Thank you for sharing. This is so fun! I keep fearing we are going to get called down by the Professor, though.

          13. HG Tudor says:

            You are adults, if you wish to show what you look like it is a matter for you. I would not recommend doing so however.

          14. MB says:

            I know HG does not approve and in some cases, it could be dangerous. Are you calling me an adult?!? Blasphemy!

          15. windstorm says:

            My father always said, “You have to grow old, but you never have to grow up.” That’s one of my mottos!

          16. MB says:

            I like that motto WS. My son recently asked me how I knew when I was an adult. I told him I don’t know but I suspect it’s when you stop having fun.

          17. K says:

            My pleasure MB
            Thanks for sharing too. I will be taking it down soon but it was kind of fun, although maybe not wisest thing to do.

          18. MB says:

            I’m not hiding from anybody. It would be unwise for many to do so. The anonymity we have here is part of what makes this site so special.

          19. K says:

            You never know who is out there targeting you. Identity thieves, stalkers or ex-lovers. The internet can be a dangerous place.

          20. MB says:

            That’s hilarious K! I don’t have any ex-lovers! But I agree. One must be careful.

          21. K says:

            Ok, let me see if this works.

          22. MB says:

            K, I see mittens now. I think?

          23. K says:

            Yes, those are mittens that I knitted for the school children whose parents can’t provide them and I knitted hats for hope, too. (toot toot)

          24. MB says:

            I hope you remembered to knit something for the blind gay whales! They need love too.

          25. K says:

            Right now, the only people I knit for are my children and me. No more Nice Empath K! Narc K is at the fore now. Fuck the blind gay whales!

            However, if some neglected child needs a hat or a pair of mittens, I will knit them up, of course.

          26. NarcAngel says:

            Yeah, fuck the gay blind whales. You don’t see anyone knitting protection for the Sperm whales.

          27. MB says:

            Ha ha NA! I just had this visual of little K knitting a big ol’ sperm whale sweater. How long do you think that would take K? And don’t use any kind of cotton yarn that’s gonna take on water. The poor thing could drown!

          28. windstorm says:

            My mind must be in the gutter. I envisioned her knitting sperm whale condoms.

          29. MB says:

            You and NA! What am I gonna do with you ladies!

          30. K says:

            I thought the same thing, too. I would have to contact the Icelandic Phallological Museum to get the measurements of a Sperm Whale penis. And I have no idea what yarn would work best for a whale condom.

          31. MB says:

            K, at the velocity the whale jizz is emitted, I doubt there would be a yarn strong enough to be an effective barrier.

          32. K says:

            Ha ha ha…I imagine that whale jizz might pack a punch.

          33. Twilight says:

            You guys are killing me with the images I get from reading your comments.

          34. K says:

            Ha ha ha…we are a sick bunch.

          35. NarcAngel says:

            I wasn’t thinking of a sweater.

          36. MB says:

            Neither was Windstorm NA. Y’all so crazy!

          37. windstorm says:

            Ha, ha! I wasn’t thinking of a sweater either!

          38. K says:

            I had a feeling you were thinking of something else.

          39. K says:

            It takes about a week to knit a sweater for an adult so probably 6 months for a sperm whale and you could knit it up with silk because it is lightweight.

          40. MB says:

            K, is the IPM a real place in Iceland?

          41. K says:

            yes, it is and, if you Google it, you will be able to see a picture of the Sperm Whale’s penis in a very large container. Whale porn.

          42. HG Tudor says:

            You whale obsessives need help!

          43. K says:

            ha ha ha…we are a bit twisted.

          44. MB says:

            K, did you see they have a gift shop where you can purchase many penis inspired objects? Interesting place indeed. I think there are those that need more help than us HG! Who opens a penis museum?!? Wonder if Santa shops there?

          45. K says:

            Although I don’t have a porn or Beastialty fetish, I do have a slightly twisted side that I embrace. It is part of my Shadow.

          46. NarcAngel says:

            If Santa shops at the big penis museum there he must be keeping them for himself as he has disappointed many. I know a Texan that didn’t get his gift. Disappointed two birds with that stone.

          47. windstorm says:

            Oh come on, HG! Aren’t you curious how big a whale penis is? Can you honestly say you didn’t google it, too! 😝

          48. HG Tudor says:

            I can honestly write that I did not google it. I know the Eiffel Tower is tall, I don’t need to know how tall!

          49. windstorm says:

            Damn, HG! Now I’m going to have to google the Eiffel Tower!

            I am just filled with too much curiosity for all knowledge and google is so easy. I guess since I spent the first 4 decades of my life always wanting answers and no easy way to find them, that I can’t pass up on unanswered questions now.

          50. HG Tudor says:

            I have a huge thirst for knowledge WS, but whale cock is outwith that thirst.

          51. Twilight says:

            I am sitting besided you with that one HG.

          52. MB says:

            I never heard the word “outwith” before. I like it.

            NA, you may not get Siri to say whale cock, but WS got HG to write it!

          53. NarcAngel says:

            i asked Siri how big is a Sperm whale’s cock just to hear her say Sperm Whale cock. She gave me two websites to check. Then I asked her to say: I like big cock. She replied: I dont know how to respond to that. So Im guessing shes dated Texans too.

          54. windstorm says:


          55. K says:

            Just to be clear, I only googled it for measurements pertaining to knitting and the Icelandic Phallic Museum popped up.

          56. MB says:

            K, I googled the museum. I have not googled the dimensions of the member itself. I am afraid of the results that may be returned!

          57. HG Tudor says:

            The Feds are coming for you!

          58. MB says:

            You’re correct HG. I don’t want to get nabbed by the federal task force that’s been assigned to investigate the sperm whale cock fetish at narcsite. K…be afraid. Be very afraid!

          59. windstorm says:

            Google ‘em girl! I guarantee it will shock you!

          60. windstorm says:

            Ha, ha!

          61. K says:

            Yeah, fuck all whales! And global warming is a left-wing hoax!!!

            Just kidding BTW.

          62. NarcAngel says:

            You’ll have to excuse Canadians for being skeptical of global warming. Especially when our globes are freeezing most of the year.

          63. K says:

            I was being provocative. My relatives in Minnesota (all narcs) put blankets on their windshields so I can imagine that Canada must be quite frosty during the winter.

          64. WhoCares says:


            “…so I can imagine that Canada must be quite frosty during the winter.”

            ‘Quite’?! Quite frosty – haha.

            I was walking my son to school on a recent morning (one of those absolute dry cold days when the snow ‘squeaks’ when you step on it – never mind crunches) and the only thing he had exposed to the blustery wind that whipped up were his eyes…in the last few yards he exclaimed “I think Jack Frost bit my eyeballs!”…so we walked backwards the last stretch, lol.

          65. MB says:

            Maybe you should knit condoms after all, K. (Just in case anybody takes your advice to fuck the whales.)

          66. K says:

            Ha ha ha…the only type of individual, that would even consider fucking a whale, would be a narcissist or psychopath and they wouldn’t bother with a condom because of their sense of superiority and entitlement.

            Locally, a guy was caught on camera fucking a goat and I started laughing because only a narc would pull that shit!

          67. windstorm says:

            “the only type of individual, that would even consider fucking a whale, would be a narcissist or psychopath and they wouldn’t bother with a condom”

            That cracked me up. And so true! 😝
            If it’s physically possible, one of them has probably tried it.

          68. K says:

            Ha ha ha…I don’t think he would survive the incident. Someone died recently while trying to have sex with a horse. Talk about Magical Thinking!

            There was a woman in Las Vegas who engaged in coitus with a Pit Bull in her front yard, much to surprise of her neighbors. Of course, the incident was blame shifted to her BPD. I think she was a lesser narcissist.

          69. windstorm says:

            I needed a laugh!
            Sex with alligators is the stupidest I’ve ever heard of. The guy with the horse just didn’t know how to do it. One of my narc grandfathers was infamous for fucking mules. He had them in harness and stood on a stump. And of course in true narc fashion, he would do it publicly, in front of other men.

          70. MB says:

            Omg WS! Being famous for fucking mules. Dear Lord, what a legacy.

          71. windstorm says:

            Oh, he was a real piece of work! He died before I was born and everyone always told me I should be thankful. He was horribly abusive to my grandmother, father, aunt and uncle. I have heard a lot of stories about him, but not a single one complementary.

          72. MB says:

            WS and K, I’ve heard that the sheep-fucking herders would wear tall rubber boots to stuff the sheep’s back legs into so they couldn’t run away. There’s a special place in hell for these people! 😡

          73. K says:

            Ha ha ha… laughter is great. You are just asking for it, if you have sex with an alligator.

            Oh dear, your grandfather sounds like a real character. “all is as the fuel wills it to be”

            The guy with the horse was being anally penetrated by the stallion and died from his injuries. On a positive note, The horse was ok.

          74. windstorm says:

            “The guy with the horse was being anally penetrated by the stallion”

            OMG! I never considered THAT! For all his brutish, abusive barbarism, my grandfather limited himself to female mules.

          75. NarcAngel says:

            Safe to say your grandfather was an ass man. Thank god for chickens (and those watching) that he wasn’t a breast man.

            Im sorry. I had to.

          76. MB says:

            Well HG, at least we are on to the mules now. The whales get a break!

          77. windstorm says:

            Pretzel’s grandfather had a friend that fucked live chickens….
            It tore them open and killed them. He would never eat chicken at their house.

            Bottom line: the depravity of a young, bored narcissist knows no bounds

          78. K says:

            Those poor chickens!

          79. NarcAngel says:

            Put me off The Colonel’s Kentucky Fried.

          80. K says:

            That and Chicken McNuggets!

          81. Twilight says:


            Ah hell…..I dropped my phone and it is spotting a crack now….hmmm crack kills.

          82. NarcAngel says:

            Hi Twilight.
            Time for an upgrade! (and an rubber case).

          83. Twilight says:


            Ha ha I just did not to long ago.
            Until I get the screen replaced I will think of Narc site and you.

          84. K says:

            Ha ha ha…I think it is safer to be the penetrator then the one being penetrated.

          85. Clarece says:

            MB!!! Nice profile pic! It’s always nice to see a face behind the words.

          86. MB says:

            Thank you Clarece! I had to change it. I don’t want to look at my mug on all my comments.

          87. Clarece says:

            Ooohhhh WS! You brought your picture back! I ❤ this one with you holding your grandbaby. So sweet!

          88. windstorm says:

            Thanks, Clarece! I think this one shows my personality best of the pics I have. Thought about putting up my witch pic from Halloween. I guess that shows another aspect of my personality. Ha, ha!

          89. MB says:

            I thought about putting up my Halloween pic too WS! It would be more for the purposes of trying out for the HG cheerleading squad though.

      8. kel says:

        Yes I know MB, I can see them too. Pretty sure NA’s is a stock pic, unless she really is a masked superhero! I meant the ones without a pic, if HG was ever curious, the same as us with him. I’m pleasantly surprised with his reply that sometimes he is.

        1. MB says:

          Kel, she really is a masked superhero! I know what you mean. I was pleased to think I might be in daydream or two of our fearless leader myself. Ha! Ha! Come on, let me have my fantasies!

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Super Empath unmasked.

          2. MB says:

            No effing way!!!

          3. MB says:

            Not what I expected NA! I guess I’m used to looking at the superhero mask. Thank you. This is fun. The closest we’ll ever get to meeting each other. I hid my eyes in my pic. That’s where the empath can be seen 🙂

          4. MB says:

            I’m glad I looked quickly NA!

      9. Kel says:

        Well Hello WS and MB! It’s nice to see your sweet faces!

        1. MB says:

          Thank you Kel, what a blonde beauty you are!

        2. windstorm says:

          😊. Nice to see your as well Kell!

          1. MB says:

            WS, wow! That is a scary costume! Ha ha

      10. kel says:

        Thank you MB. I wonder if I can get my boring gray avatar back when I remove my pic.

        1. MB says:

          Kel, I don’t know but I didn’t want mine back.

      11. kel says:

        MB, I dreamed about HG the other night! My narc popped into my dreams, and he started upsetting me, and then all of a sudden he turned into our hero narc, HG! 🤗

        1. MB says:

          Kel, see it is all about you HG! We even dream about you.

          I had a dream of him one time too. It was full of positive energy.) It was a HUGE convention hall filled to capacity. He was at the podium and had just finished his superb presentation that blew the crowd away. There was a standing ovation and clapping and cheering. He stood there and took it all in. My heart was bursting with pride. (As if I had a part in it because I “knew” him when. Ha!). The audience formed a line to go across the stage to shake his hand and hug him. (It was a dream remember.). He stayed and acknowledged everyone that wanted to see him. He basked, the audience basked. It was a beautiful thing. I hope one day it will come true. (Except for the awful hugging. That might ruin the basking for HG.)

      12. kel says:

        K, so pretty! Is that your twin with you?

        HG, I’m removing my pic today and it will be gone forever.

        1. K says:

          Thank you kel!
          Yes, that is the last picture taken of me and my twin.

          I will remove it soon. I agree with HG; It isn’t prudent to have it up.

          1. MB says:

            He’s good looking too K.

          2. K says:

            Yeah, he wasn’t bad looking; it is too bad he was so fucked up.

      13. Mary says:


        You said: I was able to find this picture of him online quite a while back. It may have been removed since for protection of his identity:

        OMG, I’m dying now. That just HAS to be our mysterious and terrifying HG.

        1. MB says:

          Mary, I’m glad you got a laugh. I didn’t know if he would post it or not. I consider it a compliment to him.

      14. Chihuahuamum says:

        Whale condoms? I think i entered the wrong door 🤣😂

  4. Chihuahuamum says:

    Congrats on 12 million HG!! Well deserved!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  5. Lisa Leuthesser says:

    Your wordsmith talent is quite incredible (although you really do need a proofreader–how can you allow spelling errors, etc.?). As an author, I appreciate the lovely way you have with words. And, I admire you for making a living and a sort of fame based on your disordered personality.

    As a survivor (sort of) I still read your words. Every day. Because here I find validation (although I hate that concept). I find reading your tomes keeps me centered on my own life. When I read your words, I don’t have to say them myself. You have said it all for me. Thank you. Even though I know you’re making a living from simply being an uber-arse, I admire you for your candor and your dedication to the profession of being a writer.

    I have looked, but not found a picture of you. I want to think of you as a John Cleese sort of guy but I realize that you probably aren’t all that. More of a Dudley Moore kind of man.

    1. K says:

      Lisa Leuthesser
      These comments may be helpful.

      SEPTEMBER 26, 2018 AT 19:25
      Dear HG , the pic of the dark shadow of a man in a suit on your YouTube videos ,is that actually you .If it is you nice shoulders ,
      Im just curious .

      Yours Kiki
      HG Tudor
      SEPTEMBER 27, 2018 AT 18:41
      It is, thank you.

      AUGUST 22, 2018 AT 22:44
      HG’s hair color is similar to DC’s. You may find this comment helpful.

      JUNE 25, 2018 AT 20:52
      HG, do you look anything like this Herve Renard football coach I happened upon while watching world cup today? Very nice.

      HG Tudor
      JUNE 25, 2018 AT 21:09
      Ha ha, there are some similarities, but not dead ringers.

    2. K says:

      HG is 6’ 1” with blond hair (think Daniel Craig), blue eyes and full lips.

      Ha ha ha…Dudley Moore is 5′ 3″… thanks for the laugh!

      1. mommypino says:

        K, how did you know that Mr. Tudor looks like that?

        1. K says:

          Pssst….don’t tell anyone; I met him in real life. JK ! The readers have asked and HG has answered.

          HG is 6’ 1” with blond hair (think Daniel Craig), blue eyes and full lips. 
 He is a Gen-Xer, however, 3 fresh souls a day keeps him looking like he is 22. His skin and teeth: glowing and well brushed. He is a greater elite nomad narcissistic psychopath who enjoys writing, history (especially 12-17th century English/British History), football, badminton, fencing, shooting, film, literature, fine dining, ballistics and weaponry, watching plays. He does not smoke (It’s a filthy and disgusting habit) or have any tattoos and his IQ is 134 (he scored a 1 on the HSP test). He sings baritone, plays classical piano, prefers his Vesper martini stirred, not shaken (preferring to shake his empath snowglobes NAngel imagined).
          He sleeps with the windows open and occupies the left hand side of the bed (based on if you were sitting in the bed looking towards the foot) and prefers to lie on his left hand side. He sleeps soundly and untroubled by
          conscience. His Family Motto: Victoria Aut Morte, favorite band: Depech Mode, there are 25 hours in a Tudor day, and he enjoys eating souls for fun. HG was born in autumn and he is a Virgo and has 2 wishes: an extra set of hands and for people to understand he does not do the blog for fuel. Engaged twice, married once, no children. He has never been obese nor will be, and he likes to create ever presence with the fragrance Creed and he enjoys dystopian literature.

          Here are his recommendations for a good read:

          HG Tudor
          MAY 21, 2017 AT 19:28
          Brave New World
          A Clockwork Orange
          Children of Men
          The Handmaid’s Tale
          Fahrenheit 451
          The Chrysalids
          So Androids Dream of Electric Sheep
          High Rise

          Pssst…His name is john smith but don’t tell anybody

      2. kel says:

        Oh wow K! You’re a supernova superhero librarian for sure!! What a list! I can see why he needs a 25 hour day! I’d be afraid of what his somatic side might do with an extra set of hands, but as for his cerebral side -quadruple typing would be great!! ❤️

        1. K says:

          Thank you kel!
          It is definitely a 25 hour day in his world and I don’t even want think about his somatic side!

          1. MB says:

            K “I don’t even want think about his somatic side!”
            I do! (Quite often)

          2. K says:

            Oh, I bet you do!!! You naughty empath!

          3. MB says:

            Yes K, I’m smitten! (But I know I’m not the only one) #squadHG

  6. Presque Vu says:

    I love this! For some reason it reminds me of Edgar Allan Poe and I love his work equally. You have a gift. I visualised this poetry and it’s haunting
    for both the victim and the narc.

    1. MB says:

      PV, it did me too! Oh how I want HG to read ‘The Raven’ to me. “Nevermore.”

    2. Kathy Mor says:

      I live that poem. HG’s writings describe me. The pain, his and mine, the hatred that I experience, often times the need to destroy, the need to break, hurt, hurt some more, hurt until what I get from hurting satisfy my pain, my need to validate myself, the need to heal, the secret desire to fix the broken, the anger, the fury, the sadness… the love, the twisted torment. The freedom and knowledge to dwell in both sides, going from black to white, dark to light at the flip of a thought, an emotion.
      Sometimes I feel like HG is in my soul reading the secrets I try to hide. I feel my emotions raising as I read his work, my face gets hot, my heart races, sometimes my anger flares up. I know where it gets me. Sometimes it just gets me. I get furious that he seems to know me better than I do myself. Sometimes it is a blessing, a balm to my loneliness that there is one human being that seems to know exactly every single nuance of my being. Sometimes it is a curse… Sometimes it is scary. But then it is not as by knowing me, I know the nature where he comes from. I have it inside of me. Sometimes it scares me to know that I can willingly feel no empathy for someone to the point of not caring at all. To the point of running that person over like a little meaningless dust and do it over and over again at different times, at different moods. Sometimes I wonder if I am a narcissist and I just don’t know. Because I can understand how to not feel feels and yet I feel too much. I feel everything. I am an endless river of emotions. I could feed an entire nation of hungry narcissists. I feel every emotion from the living and from the dead. They hope and pray. I feel and know that prayers very often don’t work.

  7. foolme1time says:

    One of my favorites HG. It is beautiful and always brings tears to my eyes for that sweet child.

    1. Clarece says:

      Agreed FM1T. The aftermath of all that buried grief Little HG endured. It’s heartbreaking.
      HG, congrats on 12 million hits. From 5 to 50 million hits, I’ll always be here!!

  8. G. says:

    Speechless , and blown away .
    The essence of a mind , heart ,and soul , forever destroyed .

  9. Rachel says:

    I miss my narcissist, so I decided to do some reading. Happy I did, if not I missed this little gem.
    This poem really touches my heart. You are an artist HG. I know about mirroring, that narcissists are like chameleons. But, your talent and intelligence are yours, that can’t be faked. Not everything is an illusion.
    Just like I feel deeply sorry for you, for the lack of love as a little boy, I feel sorry for my ex. There’s this loneliness that surrounds him. I just wanted to give him as much love and warmth and attention as possible, but of course I could never fill the void.
    I find it very annoying that despite of everything I’ve read and everything I’ve experienced, I still miss and love him. The fucking ever-presence.I miss his daily texts, and even though I blocked him, I still hope to hear from him. I want him to hoover. I want to hear the ringtone I picked just for him. And then I want him to show me I was wrong, that he’s not a narcissist at all, and that he’s this warm, spiritual, loving troubled soul that I always thought he was..and then we go for a ride on our unicorns..

    P.s. I remember reading somewehere about an interview with BBC, did that already take place? If yes, where can I find it?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you. Yes, the interview took place, although I do not know of the broadcast date yet.

      1. WhoCares says:

        Cannot wait for this broadcast – please inform us if/when you know the date!

  10. Chihuahuamum says:

    Happy halloween everyone! 🎃
    HG we miss you hurry back!

  11. Leslie says:

    Stop it. You are just gathering thought fuel by playing on our traumas.

    Give realistic preventative measures to take. And remember, not everyone has access to technology.

    So Mr. Cluster B personality disorder, let’s have solutions or shut the fuck up.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You really have completely misunderstood this piece of work.

    2. Kathy Mor says:

      I find it amazing how HG’s work affect people differently. Dark, light, hurtful, truthful, educative, seductive, explorative, fuel feeding, fuel giving… for me whatever comes from HG here in this forum is a blessing. This is the unique opportunity to learn about what has caused us to become prisoners. This is about components that we need to find healing. This is priceless. This is worth of years of empty therapy, fluffy opinions, PhDs who cannot impart the knowledge to bring about the awareness that we desperately need.

      So BEFORE attacking HG, read more around this blog. Look at his old writings, his interviews, his web site. Read what we write in the blog. Get a consult with him and actually talk to him. It will give to some here a much better and deeper idea of what this is truly about.

      1. K says:

        Kathy Mor
        I sense the latter.

        HG Tudor
        MARCH 28, 2018 AT 01:49
        I agree with most of what you have written Mona save the last paragraph.

        Those who come here and attack me saying I am evil etc just provide fuel and I have no issue with them expressing their opinion. These people are usually very hurt victims who are horrified at what I am and lash out at me for that and also as a proxy for their own narcissist. I understand this and it is not an issue.
        Those who come here and attack on the basis of inaccuracy will be set straight. This is borne out of prejudging and laziness in not reading my work and the interaction I have with my readers here. I will not tolerate inaccurate attacks on my work or my readers. It is often the case that these individuals are actually narcissists but do not realise it.

        1. Kathy Mor says:

          Amen!!!!!! Thank you K!!!!!!!!!!!!!
          I held my tongue but I thought so too… narcs here… and that’s when I get mad. Really mad. Furiously mad. I just hold my temper…. 🤬

      2. K says:

        My pleasure Kathy Mor!!!
        Ha ha ha… first, I think: Upset victim. Then after a couple of threads, I think: Hmmmm….we may have a visitor from the flip side of the coin.

        It can get quite frustrating and I try not to engage; I am too old for that shit! I just hold my tongue like you.

        1. Kathy Mor says:

          I engage when I bored… I get my benefits from it…

  12. Kelly says:

    Our captive HG
    How lucky are we
    At the evil rhymes you read
    So seductively, thee

  13. Twilight says:

    Beautifully dark HG, this brought memories of when I first heard the audio version.

  14. brokenrainbow says:

    This is dark yet beautiful. I admit tears moistened my eyes by the end. You are so talented in every word you write.

  15. MB says:

    This one has been hiding from me! Beautiful writing HG. The narrated version is superb. 😍

  16. NarcAngel says:

    Beautiful HG.

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