The Caretaker



I would like to tell you about one of my ex-girlfriends, Karen. Karen, this is directed to you out of recognition of how spectacular your supply of fuel was. It was one of, if not the best.

Using my legendary powers of empathy detection I was able to pick you out like a pig sniffing for truffles. Some might suggest that it quite an apt analogy. I identified that you are a caretaker. You are a passionate, caring and strong individual. How best might I harness the sweet, sweet fuel that you would be bound to supply to me? I decided that rather than love bomb you I would apply a different technique. Yes I was polite, complimentary and took an interest in you so you were drawn to me, but I did not bombard you in the way that I ordinarily might. No instead I decided that I needed to test you. I reasoned that you would see me as a challenge. Most of my victims apply their caretaking instincts when I start to devalue, demean and belittle them. They want to fix me in order to return to the golden period. I opted in your case to start testing you from near the beginning.

You were never allowed to contact me first. You had to wait until I made contact and then you had to respond within one minute. If you did not you clearly did not care about me. I would wait hours in the day before I made the approach to you. Was I denying myself fuel in this way? Yes and no. Of course I was not receiving the usual blitz of telephone calls and texts that I ordinarily would when I would love bomb. This way however I knew you were always thinking of me, wondering when I might call or send a text message. I knew you would be repeatedly checking your phone and be in a state of readiness to respond. Knowing that I was ever present gave me a different kind of fuel at a different stage of our relationship to how it usually would be. When that first reply came, the power that surged me from having you waiting and ready, was intense.

I would insist that you refrain from eating before me, even when we were apart, to ensure that your hunger pangs reminded you that you were doing this at my say so. You would agree because you wanted to prove to me how much you loved me, how passionate you felt about me and that you would not be beaten. You readily became a co-conspirator in this game. I devised knew and harder challenges, pushing you each time and always you rose to the challenge and indeed you would often surpass my expectations.

As ever, I was several steps ahead of you. When I grew tired of this and starting to demean you, the conditioning that I had subjected you to in our golden period was so strong that you went above and beyond to try and please me. No matter how fruitless this seemed you never gave in. You showed immense reserves of discipline and strength, your depth of character was startling and it was all being used up on me.

I may tell you how my relationship with Karen ended at some point.

37 thoughts on “The Caretaker

  1. Leanne 🌼 says:

    We already know what happened to Karen. He did tell us (you did)

    But what is this “other categories of empaths”? Doormat is now a category?? I missed a lot!

    ” (hg) is like a pig hunting truffles (empaths) ” ????? πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ on the blog?!?πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚OMG … I’m dying with that image

    ::running for cover:::

    1. flutterbymorpho says:

      What happened to Karen?

  2. flutterbymorpho says:

    I get the feeling that it ended with the death of Karen.. or she is in a mental facility. Driven to it.

  3. Saskia says:

    “I would insist that you refrain from eating before me, even when we were apart, to ensure that your hunger pangs reminded you that you were doing this at my say so.”

    I have stated this before – this passage that demonstrates Karen’s ‘strong will’ is most disturbing to read. I feel sad for her.

  4. Boofhead says:

    Ended? Are you saying there is a time when the narc actually lets go and doesn’t look back and it’s not due to death!….

    1. HG Tudor says:


  5. Christopher Jackson says:

    Damn there is a pt 2 yea do tell already hg lol.

  6. Claire says:

    Hg can you please briefly explain how her fuel was the best? How do you know that hers was better than the others? Do you think it actually was better or is she just currently in the white so everything about her is tickety boo?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Copious quantities.

  7. Ashar Malcah Bella says:

    Please tell me it did not have to end. Someone has to win… I hope Karen won … (The Suspense)

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Coe on Ashar, you know that did not happen and of course, see what hope does for you!

      1. WhoCares says:


        I wonder if it is truly like MB says “You’re as giddy as a schoolgirl…” these days with the new relationship.
        I think you’re truly distracted somehow and/or busy. You’re not yourself in some ways…you’re definitely not as mindful of typing errors; there has been a lot of them lately.

        And you don’t like errors…are you more lenient with yourself when you are highly fueled? Or is it simply shortage of time and your current level of ‘busy’?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I hate typos, but owing to the pressure of time it’s a case of either proofreading and thus writing less/answering less or delivering the content with the occasional typo and beating a lurking minion for distracting me with their growling stomach from being starved. I choose the latter.

          1. WhoCares says:

            Lol, I can see how that would be a tough call.
            I don’t have your minion issue but I also hate typos. Yours are not so bad. My problem is my brain works faster than my fingers and in attempt to keep up they skip over and omit key words.

            I think your typos are forgivable – given the accuracy and wealth of information you provide.

  8. mommypino says:

    HG, I know that Karen is a Codependent. Can Standard and Super Empaths also be Caretakers?

    Have you revealed yet what happened to Karen?

    Do you still have some form of contact with her?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. Yes.
      2. No.
      3. No.

      1. mommypino says:

        Thank you HG!

  9. mollyb5 says:

    Is that balls of shit that pretty white pig is having to eat ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Read the article and you will realise you are wrong, you philistine!

  10. mollyb5 says:

    She was probably pissing in your porridge or you caught her acting …not so pucker ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not at all.

  11. E. B. says:

    Is The Caretaker a cadre of empath?

    1. HG Tudor says:


    2. K says:

      E. B.
      Caring is one of the core 10 empath traits and The Caretaker is a residual benefit of that trait.

      1. E. B. says:

        Hi K,
        Hope you had a good start to the year πŸ™‚ How have you been lately?
        Thank you very much for clarifying and for the link. I understood that 1-Magnet, 2-Saviour, 3-Carrier, 4-Geyser and 5-Doormat are cadres but there are also articles about the Caretaker, Stepford and Indiana and I was not sure if these three ones were cadres or not.
        I am glad the caretaker is not listed as a cadre because people would think that *all* of them are caring empathetic people when there are so many MRNs – wolves in sheep’s clothing.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          EB, Caretaker, Stepford and Indiana are not cadres. The Stepford is a form of devaluation and could apply to different schools and cadre of empath.

          1. E. B. says:

            Thank you very much, HG. I understood you spoke about a type of devaluation when you spoke about Stepford and in your article The Stepford Devaluation – No. 19, you also wrote:

            “Only a particular type of empathic individual is able to perform this role and endure it… ”

            Those I know seem to be more interested in having an upper middle class life than anything else. They do not care if their husbands treat their children or other people badly, as long as they get what they want. They seem to have the narcissistic trait of selfishness.
            Which school and cadre do most Stepford wives belong to?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            This is a very valid question and I have made a note to write an article about it in order to answer your question so it is addressed in detail.

          3. E. B. says:

            I appreciate that you will let us know more about these types of women. Thank you very much. Since they seem to be quite superficial, too much interested in material things and proud of taking advantage of their narcissist husbands (some of them do not even hide their true intentions to their mothers or close female friends), I thought they were narcissists too until you mentioned the term Stepford wife. I had not heard about the film before.

      2. K says:

        My pleasure E.B.
        The New Year is going very well and I am tickety boo, thanks for asking and how are doing?

        1. E. B. says:

          Hello K,

          I am glad to hear that you are doing well πŸ™‚
          I remember you told me that your ex’s IPPS used to live next door. Is his IPPS still living there and if so, have you seen your ex when he is visiting his IPPS?

          The narcissist female neighbour who has been targeting me for years lives next door. I suspect these women are more than just MRNs. Their thirst for destruction never stops until their targets die or kill themselves.

          (I am sorry I had not seen your comment before, K. It says you wrote it 3 days ago. I saw it today when I replied to another one above. It did not show in the notification panel.)

  12. inspire2bu says:

    HG, is the ending in Total Confessions Of A Narcissist? I have the book and read it front to back. Need to check….

    1. HG Tudor says:


  13. J.G says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    If, like good pigs, you have a good sense of smell to discover the poor defenceless truffles…
    After all, to see that I ended up like a truffle is a little hilarious.
    But you always have to see the positive side, I will always be a well quoted truffle.

    1. J.G says:

      Although, as a truffle, I have to be very careful with narcissistic pigs. I will never give them another taste of my delicious, fueled truffle.

      1. J.G says:

        By the way, I love the word DISCIPLINE/ DISCIPLINAR. (only the word)
        This word reminds me a lot, life with a narcissist. It has always reminded me of a relationship so similar to DSSM. The only difference is that there are no whips or leathers, no word of control.
        The victims, we don’t know that we are playing this game, in which we have been invited without notice or knowledge to play with our narcissists.
        His whips: His words, His manipulations, His triangulations, His humiliations, His mistreatments, fear, submission, slavery. Consuming our energies until you extinguish our Light. And that’s why you shine.
        Simply because of that… Because “To shine you have to turn off the Light of others”.
        what an interesting reflection…

  14. flutterbymorpho says:

    Yes a very good and apt analogy ‘ a pig sniffing for truffles’ pigs are the best at that and truffles cost a fortune.. sought after delicacy. Reminded me also of something a man on U tube said about narcissists ” don’t wrestle with a pig, you will get dirty and the pig will like it” πŸ™‚

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