That Age Old Problem
Oscar Wilde mentioned in Dorian Gray that everything was possible since he had beauty and youth. I am very much of that mind set and accordingly the thought of becoming old fills me with revulsion. Horrifically I do not have to apply my imagination to this scenario (and to be frank I would not do so) because I need look no further than my Uncle Robert. He stands in front of the mirror and rants at the cruelty that is reflected back at him. His withered frame a reminder that he is no longer the uber mensch he has always maintained that he was. (He certainly seemed that way when I was a child. I do not remember the details but I do remember his stories about his adventures and achievements. They seemed spectacular and exotic. So tantalising). Now he realises that the charm which he once exuded has worn thin and does not have the allure it once had.
Every day brings a physical or mental insult and he realises that he is becoming a burden on those around him. He will not accept this transition with any grace. Indeed, he refers to his peers as old men but not ever himself. He regards himself as far younger, indeed, I often hear him repeating the things which I say. It is evident to me as the autumn of his life envelopes him that he wishes to remain reflected in my summer sun.
The tricks,the smoke and the mirrors that he once deployed with consummate expertise have deserted him or is it that a lifetime’s exposure to them have enabled those who were on the receiving end to create some kind of immunity to them ? Do they now see through the magic he once was able to weave about him? His deceit and bile are more evident that ever and I know he rarely receives visitors these days, they seem to think that there is little point in being subjected to his put-downs and insults.
His razor-sharp mind has become dulled, probably addled from the excessive alcohol he regularly indulged in (and probably still does) and the noble features have become craggy and distorted. He cannot summon the charm and sophistication to lure people into his world and instead has to rely on provocation, savageness and acidic accusations. His potency has been exhausted and try as he might to scramble away, he is sinking inexorably towards mediocrity and averageness.
I rarely see him but he regularly telephones me and I indulge him allowing him to rage down the telephone line about his injurious state arising from his dilapidated condition. It is worth listening as some of his fury contains choice, vintage lines which I write down for later use. Those barbed words when allied to my youthful charm and brilliance will work marvellously.
Uncle Robert never considered what would happen when madame time outstrode him and his current condition serves as a salutary lesson to our kind. Narcissists do not generally age well. Fortunately, I have been able to see into the future and I can ensure that I do not fall victim to Uncle Robert’s fate, but then, I have always been cleverer than him haven’t I?
72 thoughts on “That Age Old Problem”
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A somatic MRN acquaintance has been feeling depressed since he learnt he is going to be a grandparent for the first time. He is in his late ’60s but looks much younger. He said it is a “very big thing” for him.
E.B
The double whammy of aging and birthdays of others.
Just a quick example in that vein and shows how fast they can change depending on their audience:
Mid Range Somatic in a small group of people who are teasing him about getting old and having to attend his grandchild’s 1st bday with another on the way. He claims he’s a “young grandfather in great shape” so that doesn’t really apply to or bother him. That he looks forward to helping them excel at sports like he did. Lots more talk of the kids bday party and preparations, etc. There is more teasing and his replies (while smiling) are becoming more clipped. He excuses himself to attend to something else. When we are clear from their ears (he is agitated) I say “Don’t you wish they were at an age where you could just throw money at them and tell them to fuck off?” His reply?: “God I love you. Fuck them”. Not sure if he meant the grandchildren or the group teasing him (both I’m sure). A complete volte face as HG would put it.
Great story NA! ❤️
NA,
“There is more teasing and his replies (while smiling) are becoming more clipped. He excuses himself to attend to something else.”
The teasing must have wounded him. He left to control his fury 🙂
I guess he meant the people in the group rather than the grandchildren 🙂
EB
I’ve known women like that. Instead of being happy or excited, they keep saying, “I’m too young to be a grandmother.” “How could she make me a grandmother when I’m still so young?”
Hi WS,
Now that you mention it, I heard similar things from women too – that they are too young to be a grandmother. I also overheard the owner of a groceries shop tell her teenage son to call her *Aunt* in front of customers, especially men. She was in her late 30’s, early 40’s. Her son looked upset and embarrassed.
I think I guessed right who you are… HG. You didn’t post it . 😉
You haven’t posted anything about my identity. You will not know who I am.
Hg …iam empathic tho, very intuitive . I would never say . It doesn’t really matter to me. Do your dates like to wear Boden dresses.?
No, they don’t Mollyb5.
Good morning, my question is about your age. How many years do you think you look? Is it a problem for you over time?Do you think that narcissists are affected by the Peter Pan syndrome?
I look younger than my age.
It is not a problem for me no.
Some are – yes.
“use a decent facial scrub and exfoliator, moisturiser and angels’ kisses.” Do you know who shares your beauty routine, right? Patrick Bateman.
PB doesn’t use angels’ kisses, you cannot get them in Manhattan these days.
If I expanded, I sometimes use a gel ice pack while I draw fuel on my phone with text messages, I can send a 1000 at once now, after I have removed the ice pack, I use a deep pore cleansing lotion, in the shower I use a water-activated gel-cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub, then I apply a herb-mint facial mask which I leave on for 10 minutes whilst I throw Mid Range Narcissists off my apartment balcony. I then apply an after shave, I use an after shave with little or no alcohol content as alcohol dries your skin and makes you look older and of course given the fact some cheeky fuckers think I am in my 50s, I have to keep the advancement at age at bay. Then I apply a moisturiser, an anti-aging eye balm, a final protective moisturiser and then I ring a bell to summon the angels who proceed to plant kisses upon my noble visage. Then the day may begin.
Ha, ha, HG!
Your morning “beauty regimen” cracked me up! That was great! I guess when you finish each morning you head straight to lunch since by then it’s midday. Lol!
You get back to those bulls, cheeky!
Oh, come on, HG! It’s still dark here. Cattle sleep, too, you know!
HG,
Haha.
I’m not sure what’s funnier…your description of your ‘morning routine’…that you took the time to write that out…or that it follows closely on the heals of your reply to NA suggesting that the newest poll keeps us busy while you attend to other things…
Actually, reference to “cheeky fuckers” was the most amusing…
“Cheeky fuckers”…it almost feels like a term of endearment…
SP, HG – somebody enlighten me. What are angels’ kisses as it relates to beauty routines?
MB
Meaning that he can literally summon angels to kiss him. Now put that fly swatter down.
Ha ha NA! I do make a good fairy with all my glitter dusting, but an angel might be a stretch. Let them flutter about HG and do him ease. I lower my fly swat in defeat for now.
I thought the angels’ kisses might be something like the rainbow kiss thing. You know the article about secrets? I can’t stand not knowing when others do. It’s a weakness!
HA HA HA! You amused me, HG. I know you are not 50 at all, blasphemy! you are my age.
Hey, I’m not 55 either!!
I throw Mid Range Narcissists off my apartment balcony
SNAP!
55, right? Good try. No, I’m not posting my beach pics to prove my age UNLIKE OTHERS…
Ha ha, I know you are younger.
I would love to see a picture of you.
Join the queue, JC!
“You get back to those bulls, cheeky!”
Hg….making everybody blush. : D
MB, it’s not actually about the angels’ kisses, which I guess refers to the many sweet chicks kissing HG’s face… This is the opening chapter of the novel American Psycho, which is actually my favorite part and very, very amusing, like HG himself (when he chooses to be). HG and I share many tastes in music, reading, and media and pop-culture. We could be good friends if we knew each other in real life, but I am content with reading his blog and smiling every time I recognize a cultural reference.
HG approves.
Sweet P
Nice catch! I am familiar also but did not make that link until you brought it up. My imgination took me to Disney angels/fairies kissing and dressing HG while MB swatted away.
NA, that WAS a cute visual!
Thank you for explaining the kisses SP. I learn so much here about all kinds of things!
Although not referenced before (that I know of): if hg had a birthmark on his brow, that would be an “angel’s kiss”.
My daughter has the other style: a “stork bite” , a purplish red mark at the base of the skull, on the back of the neck.
Both marks tend to fade
Yes, mine returned after a 13 year gap….
How dare he ruin the memories for me of how amazingly handsome and commanding he was in his youth?! Sadly, after all was said and done, it was his only redeeming feature.
I must admit at only 38, even now he has the face he deserves – it is a far cry from the racehorse of a man which I fell in love with all those years ago.
Turns out my eating vegetables, doing squats, living a peaceful married life with two kids and continuing to paint my lips and nails red has given me the upper hand. Ha!
HG ,
Do you get facials ? I have a feeling you might .
No, I give them.
Ha ha, now that was a good one HG.
I was about to pay for your services but after this reply… not.
Your loss. How terrible to discriminate on the basis of somebody being a beauty therapist, men can perform that role too you know.
Haha…HG I meant acid peels , Botox , microdermabrasion 😉
Good lord no, use a decent facial scrub and exfoliator, moisturiser and angels’ kisses.
Vera
That’s a shame. The consultations are always conducted in an utterly professional manner.
As others can attest, HG has a wicked turn of phrase and an excellent sense of humour.
Quite frankly, I’d pay double for HG in ‘stand-up’ mode!
Thank you Renarde.
Still didn’t spit out my coffee. Close that time.
Am indeed considering paying for your services.
I look forward to assisting you.
Lol
Lol, thanks for putting me in a good mood this morning, HG. I enjoy your good moods also.
Pleasure.
HG
How much are the facials? I don’t see it on the menu bar.
Arf!
nunya
Thanks for claryfing the answer to that age old question…Spits? Or?
NA, ha ha ha. I’m dying here.
Ha, Ren! That did occur to med after I clicked “post”. There will be no spitting.
: D
Good to hear nunya! 😁 Mind you, some of the things HG ejaculates can be quite hard to swollow!
Yeah, Vera, regarding what Ren said, I’ve done a consult, it was done quickly, professionally, by audio recording reply and I believe very accurate. It was exactly what it was purported to be and I will do it again. If I had something major to discuss I’d go to the phone one. I would correctly anticipate complete objectivity.
Thank you.
Why don’t they age well?
Some do, some do not, it relates to faulty fuel lines.
Mine is aging incredibly well. I might have to get a voodoo doll to remedy this …
Joanne
Fuel substitutes, such as, alcohol and drugs do a number on physical looks.
Several of my narcissists smoke 3-4 packs of cigarettes a day, drink excessive amounts of caffeine, vodka martinis, beer, etc., many are morbidly obese and some have lost all, or most, their teeth due to heroin/drug use, not to mention all those unsightly track marks and tattoos.
Thanks K
That’s an awful way to live 😕 Mine seems to thrive on high potency fuel intake alone. No smoking, drugs and very little alcohol intake. He takes good care of himself although I wouldn’t classify him a somatic. I can only hope Mother Nature and Father Time alone will catch up to him
Also K, are you a therapist? Curious about your mentioning having multiple narcs.
K, where do you find your narcissist, and where are you in the fuel matrix? Are these romantic relationships? Family?
You are welcome Joanne
I am not a therapist, those are the narcissists that I know in my personal life. There are 62 narcissists in my family and I am surrounded by them in my social life, as well. I am NC with my family and low contact with most of the ones in my social life.
Anm
When I came to narcsite I was a disengaged IPPS and I met my MMRN in elementary school. Most of my narcs are family and I am NC with them and, currently, I am a NISS in the fuel matrices of two married couples, 7 females and 1 male.
My MMRN and I have an 8-year old daughter so I am low contact with him.
K,
That is interesting. I guess we all have pur story. Please stay safe.
Hello, H.G.TUDOR.
Well, I don’t know, frankly. The time, is unexpected for everyone. Narcissistic and empathic. You can be smarter than your uncle, you can be but be sure that the time lady will hunt you down.
Hunter, hunted and devoured by Cronus.
It’s paradoxical, you don’t think….
By the way, I love Dorian Gray especially the last part… In the end the monster ended up burned but in love. Although I didn’t want to recognize or see what it became.
Does the narcissist ever contemplate his true face?
And if he does, does he recognize or see the monster he has become?
Can you answer?
Paradoxically, the only one who doesn’t see what their victims are is theirs. We have to go to the ophthalmologist.
You know, Love blinds the most clairvoyant eye…
JG me encanta tu estilo de escribir.
La belleza sin bondad no puede triunfar.
La bondad sin belleza triunfo en la vejez.
Hello, H.G.TUDOR.
Well, I don’t know, frankly. The weather is unexpected for everyone. Narcissistic and empathic. You can be smarter than your uncle, you can be but be sure that the time lady will hunt you down.
Hunter, hunted and devoured by Cronus.
It’s paradoxical, you don’t think….
By the way, I love Dorian Gray especially the last part… In the end the monster ended up burned but in love. Although I didn’t want to recognize or see what it became.
Does the narcissist ever contemplate his true face?
And if he does, does he recognize or see the monster he has become?
Can you answer?
Paradoxically, the only one who doesn’t see what their victims are is theirs. We have to go to the ophthalmologist.
You know, Love blinds the most clairvoyant eye…