Do You Feel My Darkness


Do you feel the darkness as it coils about you? Do you see those midnight black tendrils as they slither towards you? Do you recognise that encroaching cloak of nothingness as it begins to wrap around you? Do you see how the inky murk blots out parts of your life as your friends become obscured by the gathering darkness? Have you any idea what is waiting for you in the shade as the pools of despair begin to form at your feet? Can you feel the icy embrace as the levels of gloom start to rise, swallowing you up bit by bit? Are you aware of the advancing chasm as it swallows up your family, wrenching them away from you consigning them to oblivion? The engulfing darkness causes them to vanish and even their desperate cries and shouts become muffled and then extinguished. Do you remember what held your interest before this fog arrived? Can you recall those hobbies and past times that entertained you and gave you a sense of who you were as you enjoyed engaging in them and with other people? Can you or is the fog too thick so that you doubt if you ever did undertake them at all? Have you noticed how the air has become thicker and cloyed with poison or do you breathe it in oblivious to the toxicity that comes with it? Are you aware how the twilight has percolated into your ears so that everything you hear has become twisted and distorted? Do you recognise what is patently before you or do the shadowy shapes and figures make little sense when they once did? Have you realised that your words have become dust in your mouth as the fur of the darkness fills your mouth and slides down your throat, strangling the sounds you try to make? Do you feel the icy embrace of this impenetrable wall of darkness which advances to you and over you? Do you recognise this glacier of despair as it slides over you, subsuming you and sucking you deep inside, preserving you in a dark, icy tomb? Do you even see your reflection in the mirror anymore or has that become masked in darkness too, the glass dulled so that everything becomes obscured and shows something else entirely? Do you see those shades which come and torment you, their sinewy fingers pulling at you as they strip you piece by piece of what you are? Do you observe these wraiths as they devour you, sucking what you are into their dark maws? How does it feel as this corrupting night brings permanent darkness to your world? Do you see how nothing grows anymore when touched by the gloomy taint? Do you smell that foul stench which accompanies this unending blanket of murk? The acrid fumes which waft into your nostrils and eradicate anything sweet and pleasant. Do you notice how your tongue lies flat and useless in your mouth, little more than a cold slab? Do you even acknowledge how everything tastes like ash? Do you feel the leaden weight of this darkness pulling at you, slowing you and seeking to engulf you? Do you recognise how it prevents you from breaking free, this glue-like morass which has fastened on to you and will not yield? Do you notice the fatigue that now wraps around you, leeching at your energy and vitality? Do you hear anything other than the whispers of malevolent control that rattle about your beleaguered brain? Do you know who you are or has this vast amorphous darkness eradicated your sense of being? Do you remember what it was to feel uplifted, joyous and happy or have you become accustomed to the flat, perilous embrace of this total darkness? Do you even feel anything any more other or has the cosseting black cloud anaesthetised you, numbing and freezing? Do you feel the darkness? No, you ever do. You never see the darkness until you have seen the light.

14 thoughts on “Do You Feel My Darkness

  1. Martine says:

    Yes, I feel it HG. I wonder, is there a correlation between franc-masons and narcissists? You said elsewhere that as a youth you wanted what your mother had. It must have been something she did, her « crafts » maybe? Is your narcissism in part the result of an upbriging into masonic values? Which you explored further as an adult?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  2. Sarah Jane says:

    I was drawn to his darkness. It was something I needed to find in someone, so I could sit with him in it and protect, love and consequently ruin myself from it.

    I have a penchant for dark, strange, interesting characters. I believe the contrasted traits compliment my so-called normalcy.

  3. Christine says:

    Okay Maleficent. Maybe some paragraph breaks?

  4. Christopher Jackson says:

    Sounded like insidious pt 1,2,3 very dark and putrid

  5. foolme1time says:

    I not only felt it, I became lost in that darkness searching for away out. I only found my way out and the light at end with your help HG. Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  6. Tagline says:

    Knowing the Narcissist
    You’ll never see the darkness until you see the light

  7. It Depends says:

    ‪“You never see the darkness until you have seen the light.”……Pure poetry. Never has a more true statement ever been uttered. And once you’ve seen the light, you lose your fear of the dark.‬

  8. J.G THE ONE says:

    Hello, H.G.Tudor.
    We certainly don’t realize it until it’s too late. We are dazzled by the brilliant spectacle of your presence and really busy providing for free and our admiration, carillo, love, affection, idolizing you as god. Too busy and distracted, by that golden age to be able to contemplate the darkness that comes upon us. Our eyes were blinded by your brilliance. And this makes it impossible to see clearly. A time of adaptation is needed to be able to contemplate the grim reality and awaken from the far-fetched state of hypnotism into which we fell.

    1. J.G THE ONE says:

      “Stars can´t shine without Darkness”
      But we must also recognize that…
      Every star ends up being extinguished, and this is also a reality.
      This is bad news for my narcissist.

  9. Caron says:

    What an absolutely delicious writer you are. Thank you.

  10. ava101 says:

    As the ex-narc said to me: “Welcome to my world”.

    But isn’t this a nice meeting point between us, for real empathy on your side …?
    I’d say again, you’re such a good listener, but I believe for this you don’t have to.

    1. Caron says:

      I took a break at work today and fell asleep in my truck for about 5 minutes. I dreamed about my dog. I had this dog several years ago, and he died from eating a sheet cake. Ryo would of course suffer a death by cake. We had 6 dogs, and one time one of our pit bulls had jumped onto the couch and laid his head on my lap. Ryo got up from where he was laying and started playing with Eli and Sierra, two of our other dogs. This interested handsome, the pit, so he left the couch and joined the play. Then ryo left the play and jumped on the couch and laid down in my lap, which is what he wanted and why he started with Eli and Sierra. Ryo was a one hundred pound mastiff lab mix. He was my gentle giant. I have seldom dreamed of him, but I blocked my narc and ceased communications yesterday, which made my heart sad. So ryo came. It is more peaceful with the narc blocked, but I don’t have the tension and excitement to distract me from how sad I am. And even an argument with the narc was more interesting than a conversation with most others. But it was all just a three year mind fuck. We were together when ryo died. I was already so mixed up that I really didn’t get to mourn ryo. I got no compassion from the narc, but he really didn’t know ryo, so I didn’t think I’ll of him for it. Later he abandoned me when I had to take another very good dog and put him down, so now I know.

      Better late than never. If I could get the narc back or ryo, it wouldn’t even be a hard choice. Ryo. All the way.

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