The Rules of Ex Club – No. 20

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12 thoughts on “The Rules of Ex Club – No. 20

  1. Victoire says:

    By comply, do you mean play nice? When I left him, he gave me the “But we’ll always care about each other. I love you. I’m here.” And I never responded. I received rage within a few weeks. Is that because I didn’t comply?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      By ensuring we have control and have our Prime Aims met, part of which involves playing nice.

      1. Victoire says:

        Did I receive rage and insults because I didn’t comply with “We can still be friends” and talk all the time aka he still gets what he wants from me without a commitment?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          If you ignored him and did not respond to his overtures following this requirement, he was wounded, hence the insults arose from his ignited fury.

          1. Victoire says:

            Thank you for your response. Fury may be his raison d’être.

        2. nunya biz says:

          Oh I’ve seen that, Victoire. The use of “we still have a relationship of some sort” as a means of mediating ego wounding. Anything to not feel the one being left or criticized and still in control. Of course you are crazy for not operating properly.

          1. Victoire says:

            Exactly. I threw away my membership to his harem and was punished. “We still care about each other” aka you will still call me and send me sexts while you’re dating the next person, like what you did to me. No and NEXT.

          2. nunya biz says:

            I see it as just a further way to ignore whatever problem I was talking about prior to saying, “ok then, this does not work” and pretend I’m still not even talking. It’s amazing how tricky that can be because my first instinct is to say “oh yeah, of course we leave on good terms”. But it’s just still an intention of not being “criticized” and hoping you forget whatever asshole objectification move was setting you off so you can be hoovered.
            It only proves the person is a problem and needs to be avoided.

  2. Dmd says:

    How is an ex to “comply”? It’s over. What’s there left to comply with?

  3. Tex says:

    What if a narcissist is dating a girl who recently broke up and despite she is sleeping with narcissist and let him seduce and love bomb her, she still is hurting over a break up and posts some sad or angry social media posts directed at her ex (so basically she is triangulating)?

    Does this discourage the narcissist if for example he is thinking about making her his IPPS or is he cool with that or make him to want her more?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If I understand correctly the victim was in a relationship with someone else, that relationship ended and she is now involved with a narcissist. She is however still commenting about her ex.

      1. It depends if the narcissist knows what she is doing. If not, then no effect.
      2. If the narcissist does know, given he is seducing the victim still, he is likely to use the anger towards the victim’s ex to his advantage by being supportive, possibly joining in the attack and ensuring that whatever she complains about re the ex, he condones that behaviour (although of course in all likelihood the narcissist will do the same through devaluation).

      1. Tex says:

        Thank you HG, this is what I was asking about. Fun fact is she is complaining about her ex not knowing her new boyfriend is exactly the same or worse. For example she is talking about mask slipping, lies, not giving her his time. Maybe her ex was a narcissist too. But she does not know yet she will go through this with her new boyfriend soon.

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