Little Acons – No. 10

DON'TTRY.SUCCEED

A series of memes which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissistic parent towards their child resulting in the creation of the Adult Child of a Narcissist.

21 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 10

  1. IdaNoe says:

    Yeah if you’re the golden child. If you’re the scapegoat, it more like don’t try to succeed.

    1. lisk says:

      Great point, IdaNoe

    2. WiserNow says:

      That’s a good point IdaNoe,

      Narcissist parents want their scapegoat child to be both an appliance that caters to their ego, as well as someone who is inferior so that they can feel superior. It’s a confusing catch-22 if you don’t know they’re doing it. It makes you feel confused and emotionally down on yourself.

      For many years, my mother would make small subtle comments to imply that she thought I should do something, or do something for her, or buy her something, or help her with something. Then, if I did what she wanted, I would feel happy with myself and I felt that my efforts and good intention would make her happy too.

      Then, after she got whatever she wanted, she would make very subtle negative comments about whatever it was, or she would criticise me in some small way, or triangulate me to make me feel like someone else did something better etc.

      So then, my ‘happy’ feeling of success turned into a negative feeling of not being ‘good enough’. The way she did this was very sly and subtle, almost subliminal, so that I didn’t clearly see it was her manipulation and gaslighting that was making me feel bad after doing something good for her. She manipulates like other people breathe.

  2. Sweetest Perfection says:

    This reminds me of the creator of the Nike campaign. I read somewhere that he was inspired by the last words of murderer Gary Gilmore, who, when asked if he had any last words on his execution day, simply said “let’s do it.” And it also works to remind myself, as I fly next week to this super important professional thing, that I need to leave aside my empathic anxiety and fears and just do it. Sometimes I wish I was a psychopath to maintain my coolness.

    1. foolme1time says:

      Sweetest
      You got this! Why would you want to be like them, we are so much better! After all, isn’t that why they seek us out? We got your back! You can do this! 😘🙃

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        Thank you, FM1T! I know, I wouldn’t want to be anything different from Empath but sometimes I get way too anxious, and this time it’s a big thing. I’m going to an interview; this place really wants me, they have reserved a room for me in a hotel where the cheapest room costs 1,000/night. I’m scared I’m gonna fuck up or they are gonna find out I wasn’t that good etc, all kinds of fears are coming out at this moment. I also have many conditions and don’t know if they will accept them. Ahhhhh, too much stress! A psychopath would be totally cold-headed, calmed, and secure she was gonna get what she wants. On the contrary, I will probably get stomach crumps on that day and will start stuttering or shaking or my heel will get caught in a manhole and break (this happened once) or who knows.

        1. foolme1time says:

          Aww sweetest, you are funny and you will be fine my dear. HG has taught me to look at my fears logically ( which is something I’m still learning to do.) and to set my emotions aside. These people do not know you. It is your job to show them just how awesome you truly are! They would not have taken the time for this interview if they did not already see that. Your fear is your ET trying to take over, do not let it!! You can handle it better then a psychopath by applying what HG has taught us and by using your own empathetic traits to land this job! Who knows, you may end up negotiating for more then they want to offer! That’s how amazing I believe you sate! Now comment back to me and tell me you believe it also!! 😘😘💞

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            FM1T, you are the awesome one. Thank you so much, I know I’m nervous because if I get the job that will mean relocating, which is something my husband did not really expect having to do but which would be so perfect for me, plus a great opportunity to stay away from other possible unwanted encounters with the narc. However, I’m also nervous thinking that he may get into rage mode when he finds out (which will be inevitable, by my husband posting it online or through common friends). I do need a consultation with HG but I need to figure out how to fix my PayPal concern first. But until then, I’ll try to think of your words, chin up, dress up, smart up, and everything up!

          2. foolme1time says:

            Sweetest,
            Don’t let him going into a rage get into your head and play with your emotions. He has taken so much from you already, do not give him anymore. Being able to move and start over would be wonderful! Everything up!! Btw, PayPal is not my friend!🤬I like to use visa gift cards for my consults with HG, but the way PayPal is set up now, there is only one of his consults that will allow me to do that. It is so frustrating at times! Thank goodness HG knows when it is me something will go astray! Lol

          3. foolme1time says:

            SP, I think we are all pretty awesome on here! 👏👏👏😎

        2. lisk says:

          SP, just pretend you’re a psychopath for ONE day and GET THAT JOB!!!

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Guys, you all are awesome, thanks so much for your advice and support. It’s not until next week so I’ll let you know how it goes. When I mentioned my conditions I was referring to conditions that I would pose in order to be able to accept the job, such as when I would be able to start etc., not about health conditions. But you make me feel so strong now! Thanks 😘😘😘😘

        3. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

          SweetestP. your quote: `I also have many conditions and don’t know if they will accept them.` Are you implying that the people that are interviewing you do not have conditions????? Please. Many people have conditions. Your conditions are not any of their business, and they sure are not going to tell you about theirs. They want to know if you will set your alarm clock to be at the job on time, do the job well enough, and even like the job, and get along with the other people there, day after day after day. They need help, or they would not be interviewing. Are you willing to help them? So their boss is pleased with them and on and on up the ladder? Are you willing to help the company and your direct supervisory person and put your own problems on the back burner for enough hours of the day to help them and the company be productive? That is what they want to know!!!!! Not what problems you have. Even they have problems, okay. So just focus on the company and research the company on your computer and everything you can about the company, and look up the people and board of directors and eveythng you can find until then, so that you ust ooze the company from your pores and you should be fine. And if they ask if you have any questions, ask them what are the major areas they are working with, and what areas they need more work with, and things your read about the company, and things like that, from your research on the company. The interview is about the what can you do for the company, and your immediate boss, or whatever they are called. Any other problems you have are your own, and should stay that way, okay. In case they try to drag stuff out of you. They really do not want to know. And, make sure you are up early and check out the place if you can, and have time to go to the ladies room in the vicinity and give yourself one last check over and time to Cool Down and walk in there cool as a cucumber. And, I hope that hotel room has one of those super duper deep bath tubs!! They are just great! 🙂 ~~PSE

        4. FYC says:

          Sweetest P, When your fears arise, speak back to them with facts. You know what you know. You were invited to this interview because they recognize your knowledge and experience. Everything you have accomplished to date is because of what you applied. Don’t worry about the interviewers. They seek only to confirm what they have seen. Simply prepare the overriding message you want them to remember so your anxiety does not cause a freeze moment.

          To curtail any lingering anxiety, when you arrive, do the following: 1) Take a few deep breaths (invisibly this lowers blood pressure and anxiety). 2) Structure your environment. This can be done in the smallest of ways with your apparel, arranging your chair, etc. This increases subconscious perceived control and reduces uncertainty psychologically. 3) Greet the interviewer and ask a friendly Q like about them. This shifts their focus momentarily to themself (ppl are ego driven and as long as this is very brief it will put them at ease).

          Remember, you are not there to prove yourself, you are there to demonstrate how you can help them solve/avoid problems and succeed. If they ask what your weakness is, you can say something about having high expectations of yourself to excel, and while this can be a strength, if not balanced, it can create internal stress but you are mindful of that fact and keep the bigger picture in perspective. Translation: competent, driven, yet balanced. No need to self eliminate.

          Relax and be your wonderful self. You will be more than fine. They will be lucky to have a kind, intelligent and competent employee!

        5. NarcAngel says:

          Sweet P

          Let go of the negative scenarios and what ifs creating the pressure. Embrace the confidence and capability that has attracted them to you thus far. They are already impressed with and investing in you. You should too. Get it girl.

    2. blackunicorn123 says:

      SP – you’ve got this! 🤗 xx

  3. lisk says:

    This meme reminds me of the movie, Borg vs. McEnroe, in which the young John McEnroe’s father basically speaks to him–and expects of him–in this way.

    Many tennis and non-tennis fans know how that all turned out!

    1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

      lisk: I put that movie on my to watch list. Thanks. I just looked up McEnroe. Wow. He lost a lot of points with his temper, during his career… I found this clip on youtube of some of John McEnroe`s Angry Outbursts. I sort of have the feeling he knew what he was talking about though, but I guess we all have to be more diplomatic in these situations. Here is the clip from youtube titled: John McEnroe`s Angry Outbursts. https://youtu.be/Xea1KKEgOco

      1. lisk says:

        Great clip, Princess. He was pretty enraged and quite responsive to the negative fuel of the audience. He admits as much in the documentary, “McEnroe Borg,” which followed that clip.

        1. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

          Lisk: wow. Thanks. I sort of like him, so far. hahahaha. I plan to watch more about him this weekend. I do not know about him. I just know that he is one of the greats in Tennis, from my cultural memory. Thank you.

  4. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    Dearest HG: Hahahaha. I was once in an organization. They told us during orientation, that they were not strict about promptness. I felt relaxed, thinking about that, and then they us told that their motto was: `If You Can Not Be On Time, Be Early.` Oh well…so much for that, I thought at the time. Your meme reminded me of that motto. LOL.

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