The Portentous Remarks of the Narcissist
It is well known that our kind operate by the wearing of masks. We have learned how to portray those emotions which we do not feel. We have ascertained that in certain situations we are expected to respond in a particular way. We know that by donning a particular mask we are more likely to charm and seduce you. We are aware that maintaining a certain mask the vicious malevolence that lurks beneath can be kept in check so that we achieve acceptability and the advancement of our agendas. There are occasions when we will give you a glimpse of what lies beneath this mask. I am not referring to when we whip the mask off and subject you to devaluation. That is a purposeful and intended act on our part. I am not making reference to when the mask fractures as a consequence of the ignition of our fury and the lesser and mid-range of our kind are unable to keep the mask in place so that the ignited fury erupts and the malicious beast is unleashed. There are occasions however when we provide you with a fleeting glance beneath the mask as to what lies beneath. This will happen during the seduction period. Sometimes it is as a consequence of the effect of a particular agent, such as alcohol. Sometimes, especially with the greater of our kind, it is done as deliberate act in order to gauge your reaction. In such an instance, we tell you of what lies ahead to see if you baulk at the suggestion, or that more likely you respond in a sympathetic manner or even by way of denial.
“I couldn’t ever imagine you doing that.”
“That won’t happen with me though. It might have with other people but I will treat you better than they have.”
“You’re not like that, don’t be silly.”
“I don’t see you doing something like that, you are too nice.”
If you respond in such terms when you have been given such a warning, then this is a green light to us that we have you under our control and that you will accord with our desires and machinations. It also allows us, when we do eventually behave in the manner described down the line during the devaluation, to throw it back in your face by saying.
“I did warn you.”
“Why are you complaining? I was upfront that this would happen.”
“I told you so.”
“It’s no use crying about it now. I told you what I was like.”
“I told you and you chose to stay with me. It is your fault.”
Not only does this enable us to avoid blame, something we must achieve, it will also result in you reacting and providing us with fuel.
With the lesser or mid-range of our kind, these comments are more akin to thinking aloud. The mask does slip, unintentionally for a moment, through the explanation of a future behaviour before it is realised what has been said and the disclosure is brushed to one side, denied or passed off as a silly comment owing to drink or being tired. Why do these comments arise in such a manner from the lesser and mid-range of our kind? Is it guilt or remorse? No, because those emotions are not felt by our kind. It arises from a lack of control. The “bad” behaviour that will arise at some point is lurking beneath the surface and like a cat fighting to get out of a sack, it is always wanting to make an appearance but is prevented from doing so by the maintenance of the mask that is worn. Occasionally, through the loss of control – it may be drink, it may be fatigue, it may be through inattention – what lurks beneath makes a brief and fleeting appearance before the control is exerted once again. Here are fifteen portentous show and tells of our kind. Should you ever hear these comments you ought to pay heed to the warning that you are being given.
- I am a bad person really.
- I will only hurt you.
- You should stay away from me.
- I do bad things. I cannot help it. I always do.
- I will make you wish you had never met me.
- It will go wrong, it always does.
- You will end up hating me.
- You don’t know what you are getting into with me.
- You shouldn’t do this.
- You should leave while you can.
- This is going to turn out badly.
- I have to hurt people.
- I don’t want to hurt you, but I will.
- I just want to fit in.
- I’m not what you think I am.
8 thoughts on “The Portentous Remarks of the Narcissist”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
Gah! ‘Portentous’!
That’s precisely the adjective I would describe my PN, a MMR’er. Statements delivered by that cockwomble followed an eerily similar pattern. He would;
1 – Stand up so we could all enjoy his ‘munificence’
2 – A theatrical in-drawing of breath. Almost as if he is going to break the fourth wall and deliver a ‘Hamlet’ soliloquy worthy of Gielgud or Olivier to which he cunningly adds a pointed figure which always was in the direction of the heavens. More in drawings of breath. We await with our breath baited for ‘The Words’. (I OWN THIS PICTURE!!!)
3 – The actual nugget, nay, PEARL of wisdom is uttered. Delivered in tones which might be reminiscent of a Papal Legatine announcing the Holy Father’s latest ecumenical matter; ‘On why it’s OK to do it with altar boys but abortion is a grievous, mortal sin and dump the johnny, OK?’
Of course a MM being a MM can’t but help but stop themselves when they are on a roll. He tried this once too often with bro and I and this time he did it in front of what was I now perceive as a DLS. In our own, family home. A ‘work’ colleague. (Bingo HG!) and therefore a triangulation. The opportunity to sink the fuel from three sources as we all gaze at him adoringly. Trouble was, bro and I didn’t quite see it that way.
To this day I have no idea what I said. What I do know is that we both (very young adults) were banished from the room. Where we broke down hysterically crying with laughter in the kitchen.
Good times!
I was only 19 Everybody thought and thinks he is so kind, witty and extremely intelligent physicist (looks like Clooney) But the mindgames bewildering my brain 18 months later when it was over … lasted for many years. It was a greater.
“You’re Are kind, don’t be silly.”
“I don’t see you doing something like that, you are too nice”
Those are quotes from me, nervously giggling with a tear, after him quietly looking down to the floor going “people say I’m so kind, but I don’t do things out of kindness. I’m not nice.”
How about “You deserve better.” A slip? Because it turned out to be 100% true. Or a manipulation?
The ex creature is a mid range thing. It said…you never know a person till their mask drops.
Wtf…I should have dumped that thing right there. Now its someone elses trash.
If we look closely, the mask slips often. I will add another I have heard from two narcs: “I am going to hell”. I shudder when I hear it because I know they believe it and I can hear fear in their voices. Whether you believe in hell or karma, retribution is coming.
HG, your interview on the WNAAD Summit was very insightful in more ways than respect to the smear campaign. The way you described the narcissist not planning to be hurtful, manipulative etc during the day, as compared to the Empath does not plan their day around their traits was enlightening among the other things you discussed.
It was 2 years ago today I discovered you and your article Why Does He Blow and Cold and discarded my narcissist. I’ve come a long, long way since then. Your education helps so many get free and stay free. I constantly recommend and share your materials.
Just want to say thank you! You are a life saver!
– Peaceful.
Thank you and you are welcome.
Congratulations Peaceful! 😘