The Fifty Future Fakes


Image result for picture of jam tomorrow

The technique of future faking is a splendid device that we utilise by promising you jam tomorrow so we can have all the jam today (and oddly enough leaving you with no jam tomorrow). The ability to future fake is integral to us since it sits with our frequent and repeated lying so readily. Just like Enron did, we want the pay-out today based on the future profits and what if those future profits don’t manifest? Who the hell cares? We will just walk away and secure the pay out with someone else instead leaving you to rue all those promises of something down the line which never ever came to pass. We are persuasive, convincing and seem so genuine, such is our astonishing ability to act, that you readily believe that we will deliver on the promise, no matter how outlandish it may sound to you. We really, really mean it. Can’t you tell?

Such is our brilliance at convincing not only you as our intimate partner but also everyone else who gets caught up in our extensive fabrications. It never matters to us that we have no intention of delivering on that promise of something happening in the future because all we care about is the here and now. We are easily able to shirk accountability for our promises, avoiding liability and culpability is what we do best and if you think you can hold to us something that we have promised give it a go. All you will find is that you will be subjected to denial, deflection or another charm offensive whereby you have backed down on the strength of, yes you’ve guessed, more future faking.

Here are fifty examples of our future faking.

  1. I know we’ve not been together long but we really should get married.
  2. Of course I will go and see somebody for some help, I want to do the right thing for us.
  3. I will pay you back.
  4. I will never hurt you.
  5. I will never hurt you again.
  6. I will get tickets for that concert for us, no problem at all.
  7. I can’t wait to take you away somewhere exotic.
  8. I will bring it back for you next week.
  9. I promise I will call you tomorrow.
  10. I won’t tell a soul about this.
  11. We have such a bright future together.
  12. I can see us growing old together.
  13. I cannot wait until we start a family.
  14. Why don’t we go into business with one another, it makes perfect sense?
  15. Of course I will help you out when you start your new job.
  16. We should make plans to travel the world, just you and me.
  17. Let’s look at houses so we can move in and live together.
  18. I will always be on hand, whenever you need me.
  19. I cannot conceive of a day where we are not with one another.
  20. Come on, let’s go and look at engagement rings.
  21. I won’t let anything come between you and I.
  22. Imagine if you moved over here how brilliant that would be.
  23. Imagine if I moved to where you are, I think I should do that.
  24. If you can help me with this project, I will give you a great report for the pay review next year.
  25. That’s right, give the money to me now and you can look forward to a 25% return in a year’s time.
  26. No matter how ill you become, I will look after you.
  27. I swear we will move just as soon as we can afford it.
  28. We can’t move just yet, but we will when I have repaid this loan.
  29. I know the loan has been repaid but I want to secure this promotion and then we will move.
  30. The promotion has helped but I need to think about retirement at present and then we can move.
  31. I want a large family with you.
  32. Of course we will go there next time.
  33. Whatever you want, just say it next time we are here.
  34. We will definitely book there for dinner next time.
  35. My home is your home, it is just a question of when, not if, you move in.
  36. I want to be able to come home every night and find you there waiting for me.
  37. Just do it this once and I won’t ask you to do it again.
  38. I go to sleep safe in the knowledge that we have a future together.
  39. We should make plans for where we will get married.
  40. I want a huge wedding, all our friends and family need to be there, I want the world to know how happy I am.
  41. Why don’t we select a retirement home now, after all, we are going to be together then you know.
  42. If you do the groundwork for this project now, I will next time.
  43. Of course I will change, I am determined to do it.
  44. This is the last time, I promise, then I will stop.
  45. I will seek some help, now isn’t the right time, but I will do it.
  46. I will give you the world.
  47. I will give you the fairy tale you deserve.
  48. I know we will have a happy ever after.
  49. I don’t see me and you, I can only see us.
  50. Of course I will respect you in the morning.

13 thoughts on “The Fifty Future Fakes

  1. Liz T says:

    This one really hit home for me Mr. Tudor. I believe my ex narc said everyone of these and more to me. The promises to never hit me again, to never use drugs again, to never cheat again. That grand vacation never happened. The business we opened together is now doing very well and he served me with divorce papers stating that I have no assets in the marriage. But he still wants to date and have a romantic relationship. Over and over again. I am an intelligent strong woman. I fell for it all. I will fight him in the divorce but I have no expectations of receiving anything. Just knowing that I fought, stood my ground is good enough for me.

  2. Twilight says:

    Future faking…..I just shake my head when someone tells me I am the love of their life, words are meaningless with out action.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      The statement “you are the love of my life” is ridiculous when you think about it. The only time it would seem appropriate is if you are on your deathbed and your life is indeed over.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        And that’s logic.

      2. lisk says:

        Or there’s the part that is unspoken so you don’t hear it:

        “You are the love of my life . . . so far.”

      3. foolme1time says:

        I’m embarrassed to say ( with my last EGN ) I was the one always saying “ You are the love of my life!” 🤦🏼‍♀️ Simply because I could never imagine loving someone as much as I did him. 🙄I am so dumb!! 🤣🤣🤣🙃

        1. Abe Moline says:

          You are not alone, FM1T. I really don’t like to remember this, but I also said it…

          Actually, I did not have the courage to write this until I saw you comment… Because it makes me look stupid, and I’m a bit ashamed. Thank you.

          1. foolme1time says:

            You are not stupid and you have no reason to feel ashamed! We had no idea what or who we were involved with! In fact until I read your comment I was pretty sure I would never say these words to another, now I’m not so sure of that! Thank you Abe! 😊

  3. Narc Noob says:

    Hello HG, just wanting to know if you have any specific writing regarding secondary and tertiary sources or NIPPS? I find a lot of your writing is pointed at the IPPS or DLS or perhaps I just can’t see the devaluing, discard and hoovering as easy in this part of the fuel matrix?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, there is plenty use the search facility and/or consult with me on the specific issues and I will assist you most effectively.

  4. Debs says:

    My ex narc did the future faking with me! A holiday we were going on that never happened, the house we’d get, the area we were moving to, even the names of the dogs and cats he wanted when we moved in.

    He also future faked with his new supply. Told her after less than a month that they were going to be living together within the year.

    When she found out about me – he told her he was single and I was just a friend but of course friends say they love each other all the time so no worries about that one lol – she clung to the moving in tougher within a year as reasons to stay with him despite the fact he was a liar and a cheater. She’d never felt this way about anyone before he was her soul mate etc etc etc. I felt the same too during the love bombing at the beginning.

    Reading this post made me giggle as I’ve heard so many of these future fake sayings over the years with my ex narc. It’s really bizzare that they all say the same thing! They must have a narc script wired into their brain I guess.

    Another great informative post HG 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome and thank you.

  5. alexissmith2016 says:

    Awwwww love this one HG! it’s great and really made me laugh a lot. Especially knowing that most of them actually believe what they are saying when they make these statements. Madness!

Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous article

In The Picture