Little Acons – No. 19
You must not tell.
They said this time and time again. And I did not.
Yet the expectation that such obedience would result in some kind of favour, some kind of leniency did not manifest.
Thus the expectation became hope instead but it became apparent that hope was yet another liar who appears bearing promise and salvation only to snatch them away and sneer. There is no such thing as hope, she wears a mask to hide that which she really is ; torment.
I recognise the imposter that hope is (you would do well to do the same) and thus I placed no faith in her.
I did not tell. It did not stop.
I did not tell. I found another way – or perhaps it found me – I have yet to fathom that out.
I did not tell. It did not stop, but it no longer affected me.
And so, I did not tell.
I did not tell for a considerable time.
But I will.
And it will not hurt me when those sticking plasters are ripped away from mouth, eye, ear and nose, because you cannot hurt me any longer.
I am the hurt.
And I am coming and you can tell all you like because nobody is going to listen to you.
6 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 19”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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HG, Is this still true for you?
“I did not tell. I found another way – or perhaps it found me – I have yet to fathom that out.”
It seems you have worked out nearly every aspect of your state of being, so I am wondering if there are still aspects you are fathoming out?
The secrets and lies of imposed facade management are painful and destructive to self esteem. I am so sorry you (and FM1T and others) carried such a burden. I hope in exposing the truth (or no longer living with the lie) you experience a measure of healing justice, and freedom from the memory’s torment.
There are other areas which are being ascertained, yes.
“There are other areas which are being ascertained, yes.”
Thank you for your reply, HG. I have no doubt you will ascertain all other aspects.
I did tell finally. It got handled wrong by the authorities. They meant well I guess, but I nearly gave up that day. I felt like no one would care if I stopped breathing. Others only asked if I told. They didn’t ask if I was okay, even when it became obvious that I wasn’t ok. Hopeless is the right word Mr. Tudor. On top of that I reached out to one of my groups, and was told to get lost basically. Things were very dark that day. I saw what you had warned about.
Why are you always right? You have yet to be wrong on anything for me anyway. I beginning to think there is no way out?
Thank you Oracle. I am always right because I am the expert, it is that simple. There is a way out, you have found the map here with me.
I never told either. You are right, it never changed the way I was treated either and it never stopped, until I found a way to make it happen with just one and not many. That didn’t work either! I notice you say they HG, you also mentioned in another post one of the Doctors being perhaps a lieutenant of another family member who abused you, besides your Aunt. I am sorry for the abuse you and others suffer by the hands of there so called family!