This is the final state that you, as someone who has entangled with one of our kind has to aim for. This is what you ought to achieve in order to secure your freedom from our kind and you should make this your aim when embarking on your recovery and escape from us.
There is no denying that we have a significant effect on the lives of those we ensnare. Whether our victims are social, business, work, the provision of a service, familial and most of all romantic, the consequences of being ensnared one of our kind rarely pass without making a mark of some kind. With numerous victims they do not realise who they are ensnared with and suffer no real ill-effects from this dynamic. Their loyalty and periodic interaction with us means that devaluation does not occur and instead they find themselves entertained by us, recipients of our largesse, donees of our considerable abilities in certain fields.
Of more significant prominence are those people who find that they have been entangled with our kind and the list of effects on those people are wide-ranging and non-exhaustive. From seeing their self-worth eroded, their finances implode, their self-confidence shattered, their physical and mental health damaged, their relationships with other people removed or dented, their capability to engage in critical judgement impaired, the loss of their home, the loss of a job and much more besides the consequence of our targeting of that person – most often in a romantic dynamic – is substantial and wide-reaching. This person mourns the loss of the illusion they were granted for that oh too short period. They fear the re-appearance of our kind. They nurse wounds – both physical and psychological – arising from the abuse they sustained. They are anxious, lonely, nervous and apprehensive. They see our kind all around them. They are wary of engaging with people as a whole and cannot countenance ever becoming involved with another person romantically again.
Some individuals are robust and make better progress as they come out of the other side of their involvement with us. Other people struggle to make any headway at all and indeed all too often become plunged back into the turmoil of the Formal Relationship with us once again, seeing it as the only way to alleviate (if not permanently remove) the pain for a period of time.
Untangling yourself from our grip is a three stage process:-
- Understand. You need to know what it is you are dealing with. You need to understand why we do as we do and why we behave as we do with you. You need to understand what made you a target and what continues to make you a target for our kind. Understanding removes fear, it removes anxiety and it removes paralysis. The acquisition of knowledge – the right knowledge – is the foundation stone on which your escape and recovery has to be built.
- Counter. Once you know what you are dealing with, you recognise how we operate and you understand why, you can then apply this knowledge to counter us. For many this is the route of no contact. The ultimate way to escape our clutches. For others, for various reasons, no contact cannot be achieved and instead you need to evade, counter and minimise the effect of our manipulations on the occasions when you have to continue to interact with us.
- Zero Impact. Once you understand and counter you will then be in a position to ensure that we have zero impact on you. This does not mean you have nothing to do with us (that is part of the counter stage as mentioned above). Zero Impact means that whether you have no contact or whether there is some contact, you end up in a position whereby we no longer have any effect on you.
What does Zero Impact look like?
Zero Impact is not being numb. There are those who are traumatised by their experience with us that they in effect are left in a state of numbness. This is one of the reasons we dis-engage from you. If you can no longer function you are useless to us. You do not provide fuel, you have no character traits of use to us and your residual benefits either reduce or disappear altogether. Numbness does not last forever and once you begin to function again, subject to other considerations, we will be waiting in the wings to swoop once again and continue your torment. Numbness is a temporary but unwanted reprieve, since you are not just numb to us, but to other things also.
Zero Impact is whereby you are unaffected by us. There is no sense of anguish at the mention of our name. You are not perturbed by the prospect of attending a place where we may be also. You feel no anger, no shame, no pain or no longing for us. Your mind set is altered so that you do not experience the negative, you do not identify the worst that can happen or focus on the likely misery you will experience. All of the bad, the bane and the awful which came with our toxic touch is removed, banished and most of all kept at bay. You don that plate armour and no matter what we try to do and no matter what you have experienced in the past, the corrosive effect of our engagement with you will become nullified.
Zero Impact is not shutting yourself down. Zero Impact is not hiding away. Zero Impact is the creation of a state of being whereby knowing how we operate, think and do, you remain ahead of us, beyond our reach in terms of having any consequence for you. Knowing what we think, say and do in order to perpetuate our impact on you means that I am in prime position to explain to you how you are able to address this and turn the situation to your advantage. I know how we aim to continue to impact on you. I know what we need to do and how it is done so that our ill-effects live on. It is not a case of you becoming an automaton, but instead allowing you to remain the person that you are or the person you have recovered back to and bolting-on the armour of Zero Impact which will allow you to progress, to thrive and to be protected.
This is not healing. As I have explained, I am not a healer and there are plenty of others you may turn to if you identify a need to heal from what you have experienced. This is something entirely different. It is not about changing what you are but by adopting that suit of armour to repel our effects, consequences and impact. Zero Impact means shedding the toxic coating we layered you with and replacing it with an impervious shield which will preserve and protect.
That is Zero Impact and allying that with Understanding and Countering, you will achieve freedom. I know how to cause confusion. I know how to cause paralysis. I know how to create long-lasting consequence and by the same token I am able to explain to you how you avoid all of these.
How do you achieve Zero Impact?
That information is on its way.