The Heart Hooks – No. 16

I WANT YOUAND I TO BECOMEONE

The concept of coupling, merging, becoming one together is invariably one with significant romantic connotations. How magnificent is it that somebody wants to become the perfect whole with you? You have such compatibility on so many different levels – your view of the world, similar interests, tolerance to particular issues, disdain for others, similar ambitions in terms of career, family and the attainment of happiness. You and him, you and her, whatever the constituent parts, the idea of two people becoming one is something which is embedded with the romantic ideal.

Of course the concept of finding your other half, often referred to as your better half, is not some flippant remark but is actual at the core of what people are looking for when they seek somebody to love and be loved by. They are looking for the other half of themselves. This does not mean an exact replica, but someone who has similarities – sometimes it may be striking physical likenesses, such as a red-head seeking another red-head, other times it might be similar levels of physical attractiveness but it is multi-layered with a whole structure of similarities and matches. This is why we are so deadly when it come to seduction. You are in effect seeking yourself and when we engage in our customary mirroring we are showing you yourself. Naturally, you do not recognise that you are being mirrored. You are too caught up in our artifice and its effective illusion to realise that you are being shown yourself. Instead, you fall head over heels for us as you believe that this is the real us and why wouldn’t you? Not only are we experts at this mirroring, we appear genuine and what we show you is so enticing you cannot help but fall for it. Fall for yourself.

It is quite the irony that falling in love with yourself would be what most people consider to be a rather narcissistic trait and who causes you to do that? A narcissist.

Thus, not only is this heart hook one which comes laden with romantic repercussions and emotional weight, it taps into the central method of seducing you. It sounds wonderful that we want to be one merged being with you, that we are such a perfect match we want to become as close as we possibly can be with you and thus become one person together. It is alluring, it sounds like an act of self-sacrifice, letting our own identity go to become a new and improved entity with you.

Whilst it certainly will sound desirable and romantic to you and whist it of course utilises that powerful premise of causing you to believe you have found your other half, this heart hook belies an actual truth, but not in the way you perceive it to be.

We want to become one with you because in our minds you belong to us as does everybody who we connect with. We control the environment and in order to cause the world to be bent to our will, we create the illusion that everything is connected to us and is controlled by us. When we want to become one with you, what we really mean is that we want you to shed your own identity and be subsumed into us. You effectively vanish as we own you and assimilate you into our being. You are connected to us so that you pump the delicious fuel into us, we assume your character traits which we apply to the construct and we commandeer your residual benefits – your money belongs to us, your house is our house, your friends become our friends, your resources are our resources, your network becomes ours to use as we see fit. You automatically sign away any sense of identity and independence from us as we suck you into our world and make you part of us.

When we declare that we want you and I to become one, you hear a romantic and heart-felt plea that evidences compatibility on every level. What we are actually telling you is that you belong to us and we want to consume you, absorb you and pull you into our world, causing you to submit to out total control for the furtherance of our aims and agenda.

You do not become one with us.

You cease to exist.

6 thoughts on “The Heart Hooks – No. 16

  1. Tamara says:

    He/she has a kind smile.

  2. E. B. says:

    “You are in effect seeking yourself and when we engage in our customary mirroring we are showing you yourself.”
    An unpleasant truth.

  3. AnIceKnight_001 says:

    ‘Been running on the theory that “Narcissists get to you *through your own narcissism*” for awhile now, and this really bears it out. I have yet to meet a “narcissist victim” that didn’t also have at least a strong streak of it – if nothing else enough self-absorbtion not to notice the danger signs. …You also alluded to this being the case with co-dependents in one of your books, HG. You didn’t seem too much of a fan of narci/narci couplings, but they’re everrrrywhere.

    If one is completely self-centered, you might naturally expect others to be and give them a pass as well. What might be repulsive behavior to someone more altruistic becomes “You go, girl!” from another high-narcissism individual.

    ‘Sure could use a midranger/midranger article someday! …At least before my personal nightmare narcs split up and I have to deal with her again.

    Best, AIK1

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are partially correct. Your emotional thinking corrupts both empathic and narcissistic traits for the purposes of countering logic to cause the victim to become ensnared and stay ensnared. It is not to do with being self-absorbed so that an individual misses the red flags (or fails to heed them) but the obscuring impact of emotional thinking.

      The subject matter of Chained addresses the formation of the co-dependent and the relationship with narcissism and narcissistic traits but I do not state that is owing to self-absorbtion.

      I have dealt with many victims ( both personally and professionally) who have few and limited narcissistic traits. I also have dealt with some who have many and strong narcissistic traits.

      The MRN/MRN clash will be written about.

  4. foolme1time says:

    HG
    I read somewhere that a narcissist will search for someone of there same likeness, which your post just explained. So in searching for candidates for your new dynamic is that something you were looking for so that you didn’t have to do as much mirroring?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, we mirror what you like and thus so yourself to you.

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