Why Is The Narcissist’s Facebook Page Silent?


Of all the various social media platforms that are available, Facebook remains a clear favourite with our kind. Its titanic status and near ubiquitous nature appeal as does the fact that it remains the demographic social media home of the majority of our victims. Facebook is used extensively but there is an occurrence whereby it appears that our once vibrant Facebook page has fallen into disuse. The profile picture never alters whereas it once changed several times a day to allow us to show off the latest snapshot of our brilliance. The timeline remains mournfully empty. There are no posts about our latest achievements and accomplishments. There is no sharing of the latest video we have uploaded or the link to YouTube for the same purpose. The only things that can be seen are the annual birthday well wishes from those reminded by the automated feature on the platform. There are never any replies to these salutations. There are postings from years ago but everything appears to be silent. Your friend request may have been accepted but nothing more has happened and now our profile drifts silently through cyberspace like some ghost ship. Why do we let this happen?

  1. Bring out the spyglass

Just because there is not anything happening on our profile it does not mean that there is nothing happening. We are using this profile to spy on you and others. We utilise it for the gathering of information prior to the seduction, we use it to keep an eye on what you are doing on your profile page during the devaluation and we utilise it to keep tabs on you in readiness for that hoover. Silent and looming we use the profile to watch you, waiting and calculating our next move. As you churn out the comments, posts and likes, we are watching, that small smile playing across our lips, forked tongue brushing those sharp teeth as we lie in wait.

  1. Triangulation

“Yes I am on Facebook, you can send me a friend request if you wish, but I never use it. I haven’t in years. I am too busy you see; I prefer to do my living in the real world. It is being with people that matters to me. I don’t need to herald what I achieve on an electronic platform, I let my actions in real life speak for themselves. That is what matters to me. I prefer to be face to face with people, seeing them hearing them speak and watching them.”

An earnest speech designed to impress you and con you into thinking that there is nothing to be wary about with regards to our Facebook profile. We triangulate you with a supposedly dead Facebook profile in order to cause you to admire us for being so “real”. Oh the irony. All of it is tripe. Made-up for the purposes of making us sound good. Apart from the last sentence. That one is true though not for the reasons most people would expect. That personal interaction is required because that is where the best fuel is.

  1. Deterrent

You are less likely to block us if you think we never use our Facebook page which comes in useful for keeping an eye on you post discard for the purposes of organising a hoover. If we are unlikely to use our profile or even read it then you are dissuaded from posting anything there which might upset our carefully crafted façade. Why bother when nobody reads it? By conning you that this profile is never visited you will similarly keep away from it and thus we reduce your chances of interference and also those of your supporters. This means fewer people to tackle online when the smear campaign is rolled out.

  1. Ever Presence

If there was no Facebook page, then you could obviously never look at it could you? By keeping it and not blocking you, you will keep returning to it post escape and post discard because you cannot help but want to know what we are doing, whether we are saying anything about you. You may not be minded to post anything in accordance with the point above (you do not of course want us to know that you are sneaking these looks) but you will look nevertheless. You always do. You keep returning to it in the hope of some posting, some development and some news. This keeps you linked to us and keeps us in your mind as each day you conduct your obligatory tour of our social media platforms.

  1. Cover Story

The lack of activity on our Facebook profile allows us to maintain plausible deniability. How can we be engaging in flirting online if we never go on Facebook? Look, nothing is happening. Here, check the messages. See there is nothing there and hasn’t been for months. I hate you being so controlling like this; why do you treat me this way? We use it to assume the moral high ground and provoke you into responding to our jibes.

  1. The Action is Elsewhere

You cannot seriously expect us to lose one of our main weapons in our game playing can you? Whilst our “real” profile may be dormant, the real action is taking place using a fake profile where we are gathering legions of prospective targets, engaging in flattery, flirtation and fabrication as we suck fuel from these individuals and look to identify potential targets for a closer approach to them. Do not think that the fact we use a fabricated profile will stand in our way to converting the seduction to a real-life interaction. We have a thousand lies to legitimately explain away why we did this and the intrigue will make you want us all the more.

  1. Resurrection

At some point we will crank the profile back into life and the proliferation of likes, postings and comments will begin again. We operate through contrast and this difference between dormancy and vibrancy will be used to our advantage and to your disadvantage. You can rest assured of that. We will suddenly engage with people and allow you to see it, but not engage with you, in order to continue our devaluation of you. We may spring into life and seduce you through the profile proclaiming that you are so special we wanted to tell the world all about you and use our Facebook profile (free from being cluttered with less worthy individuals) about it.

29 thoughts on “Why Is The Narcissist’s Facebook Page Silent?

  1. T says:

    I just noticed all of my typos in my first post. Apologies.

    You’re right-I need to invest in a consultation!

  2. T says:

    I’m back, HG. *sighs*

    Another one got past me?!!

    Minimal damage….but I wanted to let everyone here know that this post helped me confirm his narc status.

    But there were signs. 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

    We met at work. A per diem job for both of us….not our full time jobs-just weekend work….

    He’s an urgent care physician, and I am X-ray technologist.

    He has a practice in Los Angeles, so I our time together was limited.

    The attraction was like unlike anything I ever experienced. I was honey and he was a bee.

    I didn’t work w him for a few months, and then we found each other on Facebook.

    The first date was fun.

    However-there was the story of a beautiful ex that committed suicide. Beautiful girl-we looked like sisters though….another story about the latest ex-attempted suicide…..again we could be sisters….?

    Things started to go south by date 3?!!

    He exploded over any physical intimacy that didn’t lead to sex. (Like hand holding, deep kissing, sitting close).

    No Love bombing…..so I thought he was just hurt and damaged..until he blew up on me and belittled me on our last date last week.

    He was cruel one minute and loving the next. Super angry.

    He accused me of sleeping w all of my male Facebook friends, and called them all broke?!!!

    He said that I was spoiled and just because I was pretty meant nothing to him-because he dates pretty women all of the time?!!

    The then showed me pictures of said pretty women on his phone?!!

    He told me that my job was nothing?!!

    He then told me that he wanted to to know more about me….that he knew I was keeping secrets from him?!!

    And that he shouldn’t have to ask me out with any notice -Because he is a busy man?!!
    (I turned him down twice for asking me out on 2 hours notice in the last 2 weeks).

    We both have multiple jobs! My time is valuable too!

    I wake up the next morning w that broken feeling that comes from this type of abuse.

    I know it well.

    I long onto Facebook to see that he has unfriended me . He said it was because I “might be crazy”.

    Gaslighting me.

    He said he was a jerk the night before-and I might “rummage through his Facebook” and get payback.

    I don’t play games online….or air my dirty laundry there.

    He said it was temporary.

    A few days later I BLOCKED HIM from Facebook.

    But I got weak—what if he is just damaged and hurt?!

    Si-I haven’t blocked him from my phone yet-in case he might apologize….

    HG, your brilliant thoughts please?!


    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello T. There are indicators in what you have described and your indecision is likely to be caused by emotional thinking. You require a definitive analysis and outcome and therefore you ought to use the Narc Detector Consulation. This will give you an answer one way or the other, it will provide you reassurance and then a firm foundation for decision making with regard to what happens next.

      1. T says:

        You’re right, HG!
        Like always!

        I’m an emotional thinker.
        I always viewed this as a gift-but in romance-I wish my heart didn’t always lead my decisions.

        I’ll be investing in a consultation….because although it’s been almost 1 week since I blocked him-I’m sure I’ll hear from him again in the near future!

        I hope you’re well!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I am excellent well thank you and I look forward to speaking to you again.

    2. Violetta says:


      He is a jackhole. Now do the consult with HG so you can find out exactly what kind of jackhole he is and take appropriate steps.

    3. Witch says:

      T, he sounds bat shit crazy and is definitely a narc. He’s not “damaged” and in need. He’s a grown man and should be better behaved and therefore he can suck one

      1. T says:

        Yes-all of my friends think the same thing!

        I’m just surprised at the speed that his mask fell off?!!

        I guess intelligence has zero to do with a lesser versus greater one?

        I’ve enjoyed (been manipulated by) a longer “Golden period” with all of the others.

        This guy gave me a “Bronze period” only-and it pained him to be nice for just a few weeks?!!!

        I think that’s all he’s ever given any woman—ever!!!

        I was fooled by this…I’m not sure why?!

        Ladies, don’t let a man’s successes in life fool you into thinking he’s only capable of being of the greater sort…..that doesn’t mean they posses the patience or self control in their abusive behavior.

        He might be a physical abuser?

        Idk? I never met that sort.🤷🏽‍♀️

        1. Witch says:

          He does sound like a lesser so physical abuse would not be surprising.
          Sorry you ran into another narc. I ran into one today but work related and thank god she doesn’t want to speak to me again as I didn’t tell her what she wanted to hear but I know she got fuel because I was getting annoyed. She was also not of the sophisticated variety.
          Anyways, like I was saying this is a man that can look after himself and is doing just that. He was not designed to tamed and you don’t need to take another feral dog in.
          Look for someone else. The Male sex ain’t going extinct.

          1. T says:

            Thanks Witch!

            Your words are comforting.

            I was on the lookout for love bombing and had antenna up for a “Golden period”….so when I didn’t see that…I thought I was safe.

            The other Narcs were mid range or lesser mids I guess.

            I didn’t plan on letting this guy hang around had I made him early in as an elite-I want to be clear-I was just assuming w his status in life and his looks-he’d be smoother if he were indeed a Narc.

            We were not exclusive-and we’re both dating others….not sure why he exploded over that fact?!!🤷🏽‍♀️

            He trashed my male Facebook friends and accused me of sleeping w them?!! Not true. I have hundreds of male friends.

            He was sleeping w other women and spending time w the latest ex.🤷🏽‍♀️

            He looked like he wanted to kill me over that?!!!!

          2. Witch says:

            T you could probably have almost any man that you want. Don’t waste too much time pondering on the details, he’s definitely a narc and even if you don’t put a label on it, he sounds like a nut case. Stay no contact. Your conscience is clear. Narcs will always be attracted to you but as long as you cut them out early, you’re doing good.

    4. lisk says:


      In answer to your question, “what if he is just damaged and hurt?!”

      NOT your problem. NOT yours to fix.

      You are done fixing.

  3. LA says:

    This is a fabulous site!! Learning a lot in very short order and trying to figure out if I am dealing with a narcissist…… Quick question…would posting pictures of myself, or children or any picture that doesn’t feature him (with or without me) on MY Facebook page wound a narcissist? May be imagining it….but seems to not be pleased when it’s just me. Unless he is hoovering and then he comments and I am “so beautiful!”…..wth?!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Potentially it would wound, it depends on particular factors. Firstly, whether he notice the posting, just posting in itself would not wound. Secondly, it depends on the nature of your relationship and what stage it is at, who else the narcissist is interacting with, whether you are painted black or white, so more information would be required LA to give you an accurate response. I am pleased you are finding the site helpful. Keep reading and utilise the consultation options if you require bespoke input to your situation.

      1. lisk says:

        Thirdly (if I may be so bold), do not post anything on your Facebook with the intention of wounding the narcissist.

        Fourthly (if I may be even bolder), leave Facebook altogether as part of your No Contact regimen.

  4. Ashley says:

    This is a great article. I searched for it to read because my friend informed me that my ex just created a completely blank Facebook. He never had one before. It seems to me he looked at my Facebook which contains the link to my website because one individual was on my website for 28 minutes. This is highly unusual because nobody looks at my website for more than 4 minutes. There isn’t much to see on there, so it’s somebody analyzing it. It’s just weird to be a coincidence just as he suddenly makes a Facebook! Before he disengaged he told me he is “deliberate – and slow” haha this fits the bill

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Ashley.

    2. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Ashley, you can’t find people on Facebook if you don’t have a Facebook profile. He created one to spy on yours even if it is just to look at your picture. He left it blank because he doesn’t have any interest to use it. He just wanted to be able to find you.

      1. Ashley says:

        Thank you, Sweetest Perfection

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          You’re welcome, Ashley. My narc uses social media in exactly the same ways HG explains in detail here, so you live and learn. I have been blocked, unblocked, unfriended, my best friend has been unfriended; triangulated; alluded to in posts that only I would understand; stalked; called from various anonymous numbers; called to my work and left “breathing” messages… you name it. I know all his tricks by now. HG definitely knows what he’s talking about.

  5. PrincessSuperEmpath says:

    Dearest HG: Plus a person can have a facebook account, more than one, and secret, and probably not tell about it?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  6. Sweetest Perfection says:

    I find all your articles on social media strategies extremely insightful. I go back to them whenever I feel tempted to reactivate my Facebook profile. I understand not all narcs operate in the same way with regards to social media (depending on age or school) but mine definitely is a media whore. Thank you for these jewels, HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  7. empath007 says:

    Is this a new article?


    I called my narc out on all these points (always frustrating pointing out a narcs behaviour to them)

    But good to know I was 100 percent correct in all my assumptions. A narc always wants to make you feel stupid anyway they can.

    On a general note I find that (just in my personal experince – I am not making a blanket statement) but in my experince that those who “never use their Facebook” tend to be far more judgmental, deceitful and narcissitic in nature (although not necessarily a narc).

    It has become one of my own personal tells on someone… if they can be a little bit open and honest publicly (but not an exaggerated attention seeker) I tend to have more respect for those people… then those who just lurk and spy on others.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello E0007, no it is not a new article.

  8. lisk says:

    Wow. I thought I’ve read all HG’s previous articles. Somehow I missed this very important piece.

    I don’t have a Facebook page. I was (and am) adamantly against using Facebook, because I really DO want to only deal with my real relationships in real life, not on the screen.

    Narcx agreed with me when I first told him about my Facebook opinions and critiques. I believed we were on the same “page” because he had a boring and dead Facebook page–seemingly dead, I should say.

    I did always wonder/suspect that something was happening behind that deadness.

    Thanks yet again, HG. Now I know for sure what was going on behind Narcx’s FB curtain.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are most welcome.

  9. Christopher Jackson says:

    Another good post yet useful thanks for dropping another jewel on us I will put it in my backpack while navigating through life.

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