Empathy and Irony
Many people state that my kind and me lack empathy. I don’t like that attitude. First of all it amounts to a criticism and I am not to be criticised. Secondly, empathy is regarded by some as the ability of blurring the line between self and other. The handy dose of empathy pictured above underlines this. In fact I am amongst the best at blurring the line between self and other. I am a champion at it. One of my killer lines of seduction is to declare
“I don’t where you end and where I begin we are merged into one.”
If that is not a blurring of the line between self and other I do not know what is. I repeatedly explain that I see people as extensions of myself, they are objects that become subsumed within what I am as I swallow up their identity and use their traits as my own. Blurring of lines? I would argue that that is an obliteration. By that definition I am absolutely oozing empathy aren’t I?
The third reason that I do not like the suggestion that I lack empathy is that empathy is the ability to understand the feelings of others. Again, I understand the feelings of others to a high degree. How can I manipulate those feelings if I do not understand them? Some of our kind instinctively behave in a manner which causes manipulation. They do not have much thought behind the process but they act in this fashion because it is all they know. It is all they have been conditioned and programmed to do. They do not need to consider what they are doing because it just happens and then the manipulation unfolds. Those of us at the greater end of the scale of narcissists do consider what to do in terms of our manipulation. We are always plotting and scheming as we reflect on the best way of manipulating you to do what we want and provide us with our precious fuel. I sit and consider the most effective ways of wielding my devilish toolkit in order to provoke and engender the most rewarding emotional reactions from you. I work through the schemes and machinations as I dream up new ways of provoking you. I analyse your life, what you do and what you say and then work out how I can then use that material to make you react.If I did not understand how certain things would make you feel, how can I know how best to manipulate you? I understand all about your feelings because I watch you and I observe and I remember. I have done this many times to your type and therefore I have built up an acquired knowledge of the ways that people such as you will react. I sit and consider what I can do to make you hurt, make you cry and make you frustrated. I know you so well I know exactly which buttons to press. I know which emotions to coax from you and because I understand this I know precisely what to do to achieve this. For some of you a cold front of silent treatment will make you pour forth that fuel as you frantically call and cry, worried as to why we have stopped speaking to you. With others a prolonged period of triangulation brings out the emotional response required because you always compete with someone or something that you perceive as a threat.
The fact you show your feelings so readily is joyously received by us. You provide us with a manual from which we can learn. We can mimic your emotions so our fakery continues to draw you in, make you feel sorry for us and have you focussed on us. Your exhibitionism in this regard allows us to understand which emotions run deepest in you and also the ways in which these emotions can be brought to the surface. We have to know how you feel so we can then influence how you will feel. I understand your emotions. That is demonstrating empathy is it not? Would you now say that we lack empathy?
You cannot say that we do not care about your feelings either. We care about them because we need those feelings because they provide us with fuel. We need to know that you will feel and show those feelings to us. We care very much about your feelings as without them we would be denied our fuel and that is fatal to us. We care about your manifestation of those feelings and that they are directed towards us. What we do not care about is their effect on you. That is of no interest to us because it serves no purpose to us. If you are left anxious, unable to eat or sleep then all we care about is that your anxiety is shown to us. The impact on your health and well being is of no concern to us because that does not provide us with fuel. It is not our role because of the way we are to make you feel better (unless of course that is required in order to obtain further fuel) but it is our role to make you feel so you give us fuel. We have no interest in the day-to-day or long-term effects of how you are feeling just so long as you can keep showing your emotions to us and giving us fuel. We have nothing to gain in alleviating your sadness. We have no interest in offering solutions to make your pain and misery go away. That is the brutal truth.
Don’t say however we do not understand how you feel. We most certainly do because we have to know this in order to exploit your feelings further. Indeed we often make you feel that way on purpose so we know exactly how you feel. We need to know the best way to pull on your strings and this means understanding how you will feel and react. So that is empathy for you indeed. Who would have thought it? Empathy from the devil. How ironic.
16 thoughts on “Empathy and Irony”
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HG, we all know that narciasists manipulate, gaslight, lie to their victims, wear a mask and so on. But we victims are not pure angels as well. Of course we dont lie because we like it or to hurt someone, but sometimes it happens, especially during seduction – we all want to make our new partner value and see as a good catch.
What if a narcissist discovered during the devaluation or the discard that he was lied to by his IPPS? For example he was lied about how much she earn or who she was in relationship before to make her look better in his eyes?
Good question. As pointed out previously, empaths are not saints.
If we discover a lie at a later juncture, during devaluation it will wound and cause the ignition of fury and you can expect an unpleasant response. If it occurs post dis-engagement, it amounts to a Hoover Trigger and whether you are hoovered, of course depends on whether the Hoover Execution Criteria are met. If they are, you will get a malign hoover.
I’m saintly.
Cognitive empathy isn’t the same as emotional empathy I understand narcissists and their constant need for fuel I understand that they have experienced pain and that they have patterns .
I can preempt the way they work and also how It is a safer option to remain detached less chance of being hurt I have even done it , but I would never deliberately hurt intimidate or be abusive and controlling just to get an emotional response I’m no where near perfect and have no desire to be seen that way, however being able to see the other side doesn’t mean you have that trait
Us learning about narcissism is called cognitive psychopathy
Hahaha! Appzonderstaart, I like to think I’m going to narc school. We should all get a degree, a certificate, some form of accreditation, you know?
How do u remain detached? Seems like I can with everyone but the main Narc. I’ve kicked other Narcs to the curb. Np.
I can’t seem to detach from the main Narc, tho.
If only. I try to make it casual like any other of my male friends. Why does just this one douchebag get under my skin! We are not a couple, nor will we ever be.
If you don’t mind my asking, how do you preempt the way they work and remain detached?
This article is spot on!
“ Empathy from the devil”. Ha, I am re reading “ Master and Margarita” ( the original) and Woland shows some empathy.
H.G. is not a devil and his amazing work truly shows his cognitive empathy.
And if one reads between the lines , one might be able to sense very well hidden bits of emotional empathy as well.
The cognitive EMPATIA must be silly to not understand it, the one you do not understand is emotional empathy. and it is not that you do not understand it is that you do not feel it, as if you prick a person insensitive to pain, you are causing it harm but he is not able to feel it. The damage exists even if you don’t feel it.
I am afraid Manuel, you are mistaken that HG’s kind doesn’t feel an emotional empathy. Various studies and clinical trial refer not to lack of empathy ( both cognitive and emotional ) but to an impairment of the emotional empathy.
Because the emotional aka primitive empathy is unconscious, human are born with primitive empathy. But during the childhood and adolescence many factors can influence the impairment of the emotional empathy and its inhibition.
HG was not born a narcissist. Nor he became one overnight.
Nor he can reverse the damage now – too late.
Perhaps, the primitive empathy could be somehow reversed back only during the childhood or adolescence; those periods when the brain is actively developing and so the behavioural characteristic of each individual. But how many professionals are so competent and more over, how many clinicians are fully proficient in terms of understanding narcissism? Maybe just a few.
No one said your kind doesn’t understand feelings and empathy.
I believe the “criticism ” is that u dont “feel” it.
For us it’s like a virtual experience might be to u, except with feelings. Its like that for us with animals and sometimes insects, as well.
But definitely you understand feelings. Probably better than we do.
Lot of info today, HG
The first time I commented on this blog was ironically on this article. Sympathy/Empathy for the devil was my argument. Little did I know I was going to be a frequent commenter! I’m so happy I did.
I’m so happy you did to Sweetest! 🥰
Moronic display of affection with kiss for you! 😘
Why moronic? I think it’s sweet, just because some do not like them doesn’t mean we shouldn’t use them if we want to. As far as I know they haven’t been banned from the blog? 🙃😘