The Ten Laws of Narcissistic Possession
1. You belong to me.
I own you. From the moment I first engaged with you, you became mine. That is the unwritten contract that forms between you and me. I engulf you, I possess you and I subsume your identity into mine. I do not recognise you as someone who is separate and distinct from me, with your own hopes, fears and desires. You have been plugged into me from the start, my appliance which is there to provide me with fuel, obey me and accede to my commands. This mind set is what governs the entirety of our relationship and is what is behind so much of what I do and say to you. By understanding that this is how I view you in relation to me you will realise that once I have begun to entangle you, the concept of you evaporates and you become part of me.
2. What is yours is mine
As part of this unwritten contract I immediately take power, custody and control of everything which you own. Your money is mine to spend. Your friends become my friends and ripe for recruitment into the ranks of my lieutenants. Your house is my house where I shall install myself before you know it, using your utilities freely although never paying for them. It is not your car, it is my car now. I recognise no boundaries and therefore you will find that your possessions will always be sequestrated for my use. You are not allowed to own anything in your own right. From the cake you have saved for later to your shower gel, I will take it and use it. This sense of entitlement extends beyond the material. I will take your dignity, your sanity and your self-esteem too. I have no use for those things, they cannot serve me in any way but I will take them all the same. I am an asset stripper and you will be stripped.
3. Blame belongs to you
I am never at fault. I am never responsible and I am never accountable. Culpability and I are not bedfellows. I escape liability for anything and everything that I do and instead the blame will always rest with you. Even if you have done nothing wrong I will pin the blame on you as this serves my purposes to draw fuel from you, control you and denigrate you. If I forget to remove something from the cooker, it is your fault. If I forget to pay a parking ticket on time, it is your fault. If I forget an anniversary, it is your fault. Each and every mishap, failure and problem which arises will always be attributed to you because I cannot be held to account.
4. I take what I want from whomsoever that I choose
I walk this world as a colossus and it is my right to do as I please. I will take whatever my eye rests on as I am entitled to do so. I will steal because I can. If I want something then I will take it. I will take the credit for achievements when they belong to someone else. I will pinch the partner of a friend because I want her in my bed and not his. I will park my car where I like and I am not to suffer any consequence. I will borrow from neighbours and never return anything. It is my right to take and you must never challenge or criticise me as I exercise this right.
6. What is mine stays mine
All resources that are mine remain mine and are for my exclusive use. I will not lend anything to anybody, they should go and buy their own. I will not share. I will stockpile money secretly, notwithstanding that we apparently have a joint account. I have my own shelf inside the fridge for my food which nobody else is to touch. Nobody is allowed to sit in my favourite chair, not even when I am not there. Nobody is to play my CDs or read my books. They are not for you, they are for me. My friends are my friends, yes they will pretend to like you, purely for the sake of appearance but they will never actually be your friends. Anything that is mine remains as mine.
7. I go where I please
I own the right to go anywhere that I like. I am not to be stopped or questioned as to where I am going or where I have been. I move in between and through, an unstoppable force in light of my vast sense of entitlement. I walk through doorways marked private, I attend meetings to which I have not been invited, I will turn up at your social occasions even though I was not asked to attend. I will step over the threshold, vault the red rope and penetrate all areas because I must always know what is going on. Besides, my presence is such that I am always welcome, who would not want someone as brilliant as I with them? I am access all areas.
8. I own the spotlight
The spotlight must be trained on me at all times as it belongs to me. It is for my use to highlight how interesting, witty and successful I am. It lights up my podium where I stand elevated and superior and woe betide you should you try to point it anywhere else. You must never interfere with my ownership of the spotlight for to do so will invite my fury at your transgression. It is a device that must be aimed at me so that the world is always to see me, so that I can receive the adoration which I am entitled to.
9. I owe you nothing
I owe you nothing because in the beginning I gave you everything. It does not matter that since then you have given me your all, your love, your affection, your time, your money, your dignity and your will to live. You can festoon me with gifts, run around after me, nurse me, pleasure me, support and soothe me but this is what you ought to be doing as I am entitled to be treated in this manner. I have no sense of needing to reciprocate, someone as high born as me need not deign to fawn over you, not any more, not once I have captured you and bound you tight to me. You are nothing without me, worthless and pathetic and therefore I owe you nothing, despite the fact you gave me everything.
10. You belong to me.
I thought I would remind you of this fact. It would not do to forget that now, would it?
Number 5? Of course there is a fifth rule – You are imagining things. Again.
9 thoughts on “The Ten Laws of Narcissistic Possession”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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“Mirrors”
White lights are too bright.
I just wanna see a trace or an outline.
Say your name into a mirror three times, said it three times, said it three times.
But when you float above my body,
I can see, I can see clearly
Straight through the ceiling, ceiling.
Darling, don’t be so shy,
I’ll see you at midnight
And when I close my eyes.
I said it three times, I said it three times,
You make my world spin,
Placebo feelings.
And in the morning
I’ll wait to see you again.
Your dead eyes before mine.
The way they’re missing their whites,
Yeah, they’re just right.
I know you’re dead inside
And that’s what I like, yeah, I like.
But when you float above my body,
Standing up right above me,
I don’t feel so lonely, lonely.
Darling, don’t be so shy,
I’ll see you at midnight
And when I close my eyes.
I said it three times, I said it three times,
You make my world spin,
Placebo feelings.
And in the morning
I’ll wait to see you again.
And in the morning I hope I see you by my side,
In the sunlight,
With my own eyes.
And I go searching through reflections for your outline.
But it’s just mine.
But it’s just mine.
I know you’re dead inside,
But you make me feel alive.
I’ll wait to see you again.
Darling, don’t be so shy,
I’ll see you at midnight
And when I close my eyes.
I said it three times, I said it three times,
You make my world spin,
Placebo feelings.
And in the morning
I’ll wait to see you again.
I’ll wait to see you again.
How symbolic lol
https://youtu.be/dsH8qMjnjDI
“I will park my car where I like and I am not to suffer any consequence.”
DM has an article about Hadid being forced to tear down his mansion before it collapsed onto his neighbors downhill. He added a bunch of things *after* the original plans were approved. True to mid-range narc form, he is whining about everybody picking on him, including one of the downhill neighbors who didn’t feel like being crushed in the potential avalanche.
I’ve of course submitted a comment directing DM readers here, but they are moderated on that article, so I’m still waiting for it to go up.
Thank you for doing so
V
Sounds like The Nasty Neighbour Narcissist article here would be a good introduction. Hope they allow your comment through.
It’s up, but I didn’t specify an article, NA. Your suggestion is a good one: will post another comment.
I’ve had a field day directing people to HG’s articles on politicians and royals. It answers the perennial question, “Why would someone do something so self-destructive in the long term when the short-term value is so minimal?”
Depending on the individual, the answer may be an assumption of never being caught, an assumption of never being penalized past a slap on the wrist if caught because entitled, an obliviousness to the possibility that the action might be interpreted as offensive by anyone, because people ought to feel flattered and grateful, the need to get fuel ROGHT NOW no matter who’s looking (including the press) and so on.
It’s like 31 Flavors, sometimes.
V
Yes, the hope is that they get a taste of what is in the article that most applies to their plight (in this case neighbours), and then begin to look around the site to see other situations and make the link to narcissism and it’s many masks. They usually think of the loud braggart as the only face of narcissism. I find pointing more successful than hitting them in the face with it. People like to come to their own decisions, but sometimes they can use a little help in where to look. Hopefully they will follow our pointing fingers here where they can get the answers.
Damn hg it just amazes me that every word in here is exactly true. Thanks again for freeing us empaths. It just floors me to read shit like this I’m really glad that I found your you tube channel and this site. Unbelievable and the fact that we have never met and you are explaining all of your brethren is astounding to me and you haven’t seen them or met them but you’re explaining them to the “t” and I look at your brethren sometimes and I’m like damn he or she is a narcissist and the sad thing is they dont even know…or do they? That is the question well it used to be …not anymore because from reading your captions the red flags are right there and I can see them plain as day.
The last four sentences of number 2. Oh my gosh! I remember counting all the money I wasted as a result of being with my ex-husband. It was less than a year but totaled over $20k. I was investing in my family, is what I thought. I thought this is what I’ve been saving my whole life for. I didn’t know love and marriage aren’t universally understood terms. Everyone doesn’t have the same definition, apparently. What I forgot to account for was the intangibles. The dignity, sanity, the self-esteem, the loss of innocence and belief in others.
Number 6. is my brother exactly. I could never understand this before. He had to have everything nice and even if he never used it, we couldn’t touch it. If we even looked at his stuff and he found out, he’d beat us up. Then when he finally was ready to get rid of something, he’d con someone into paying way more for it than its currently worth. He’d often prey on younger siblings without as much sense or even his “friends” or acquaintances. He was always a one-way type of guy but he’d make you believe he’s doing you a favor. I was disgusted by him and vowed I’d never be involved by a guy like him voluntarily.
It’s funny how you just can’t tell like you think you would. I was reading that victims of abuse develop an emotional repulsion to things that were in their sensory environment as the trauma occurred. For example, if your rapist was wearing yellow you may develop an unconscious repulsion to someone wearing yellow and not understand what caused the feeling or that the yellow shirt triggered it. It may be a scent or a stature. Since narcs come in any form, seeing someone who reminds me of my brother, in appearance or mannerisms, which is a huge turnoff, doesn’t protect me from, or alert me to, everyone who is a narcissist.