Why the Narcissist Wants You Dead



“I’m going to fucking kill you!”

“You’d better do it or you’re dead!”

“I wish you were dead!”

“You are going to die.”

You may well have heard such threats and declarations of intent from our kind. The savage Lesser who has erupted in a volcanic reaction of ignited fury who grabs the kitchen knife and thrusts it through the air towards his victim, the self-pitying Mid Ranger who in a tantrum of impotence and hatred expresses his wish that you were dead or the dread words delivered with the reptilian smile of the Greater ; each school has its own ways of issuing this threat.

Yet, is this just wishful thinking or a solid desire to see you dead? Are these words issued more for effect than the reality of murdering you, causing an ‘accident’ or hoping that some intervening act causes you to be wiped from this mortal coil?

The general position is that we do not actually want you dead in the sense of physically dead. There are notable exceptions, which we shall address below, but it is rare for those exceptions to occur. The fact is that numerous commentators believe that we want you dead and the truth is, we do not. That is another myth that is held about our kind, that it is our ultimate desire, our final expression of victory for us to kill you. It is largely incorrect and here is why :-

  1. A dead appliance is a useless appliance. Your purpose is threefold to us, whether you are a tertiary, secondary or primary source. You are to provide us with fuel, character traits and/or residual benefits and the more important the appliance in our fuel matrix, the more likely that you will provide all three and do so impressively. Accordingly, if you are providing us with the very things that we want and need it makes no sense at all to render you incapable of providing them. But, I hear you ask, what of the appliances that are no longer functioning in the way that we want? A valid question.

Firstly, when you stop functioning in terms of the provision of positive fuel (you do not provide enough/frequently enough/it runs stale) we switch to devaluation and even though we hate you and paint you black for your treachery in no longer fulfilling your specified role through the provision of positive fuel, you still have a role to play. You become the fountain of negative fuel.

Secondly, you still have a role to play with regard to the provision of character traits and residual benefits. You may be supporting us financially, taking care of us, running a household, caring for the children and other matters which not only benefit us day-to-day but support our all important façade.

Thirdly, you are required for the purposes of triangulation with our other appliances and maintaining the provision of fuel as we seek out your ultimate replacement.

Now you ask, what then when we choose to dis-engage, clearly we have no longer       any desire to interact with you at all, why not kill you then? These leads us on to the other reasons why we choose not to kill you.

2. Notwithstanding our contempt for rules, the law and regulations, the higher functioning of our kind are mindful of the adverse interference that comes from nosey law enforcement if we murder you. It brings unwanted scrutiny and the potential to fetter our right to do what we want and we are not so stupid as to act in a way that will blatantly jeopardise that.

3. We treat you as dead without the inconvenience of actually killing you. We effectively delete you when we concentrate on the new IPPS through the new golden period. Accordingly, by ignoring you, removing you from social media postings, blocking you, not answering your messages or calls, then we have ‘killed’ you and this provides us with a far more satisfactory outcome.

4. You are ‘kept alive’ for the inevitable hoover. Although wanting to see you, interact with you or indeed do anything with you at all is last on our list when we have dis-engaged from you, unconsciously there remains that advantage to be achieved by keeping you alive so we can hoover you for fuel (positive or negative) or achieve this as well as bring you back into the Formal Relationship to acquire the other aspects of the Prime Aims. Remember, there has been a considerable investment in you and whilst we ‘kill you’ by putting you from our minds during the golden period with the new IPPS, we will want to draw down on our investment in due course. Accordingly, there is no point physically killing you.

5. There are alternative methods where we can in effect murder you without the potential risk to liberty. The key ways that this is done are as follows :-

a. Character assassination – ( The Paranoia of Character Assassination )

b. Smearing – ( see Smear and Loathing )

c. Silent Treatments – ( The Smiling Assassin )  and ( 17 Salvos of Silence )

d. Devaluation as a whole

Thus whilst we do not physically kill you, we slay your character, your reputation, your self-worth, your sense of existence, your connection to us and still continue to draw fuel from you, something we could not do if you were physically dead.

5. Punishment. By you remaining alive, we are able to punish you. This asserts and maintains our sense of superiority, enables us to draw fuel and ensures that we feel a sense of achievement and retribution against you. It also means we can keep on punishing you, something that could not be done if we were to actually murder you.

6. By stating our intent or desire to kill you, this simple form of threat carries with it the ability to gain fuel from provoking a reaction from you, but also allows the establishment of superiority. It is a simple sentence but one which carries significant power with it. This low usage of energy with maximum impact appeals hugely to our kind and therefore it makes far more sense for us to THREATEN than to EXECUTE. Yes, in that moment we do want to kill you or see you dead because you have done something which has mortally offended us and therefore our reaction in uttering those words is entirely in accordance with a desire to kill but we do not actually do so (and ultimately we do not want to do so) because it goes against our fundamental needs.

Thus for all of these reasons whilst we may say we want you dead or that we want to kill you, the reality is we do not and we will not.

Thus this is the general rule, however, as with all rules, there are exceptions. What are the exceptions when the desire to kill is acted on?

  1. The loss of control through ignited fury. Whilst the ignition of fury can potentially result in any school of narcissist entering a frenzy whereby there is the commission of physical violence, it is the Lesser who is most likely to murder as a consequence of the loss of control. This does not mean that all Lessers will kill, but rather, of all the schools, when there is a serious loss of control resulting in the ignition of fury, then the Lesser will want to kill and can and does kill. The fuel arising from the act, as he stabs, bludgeons, throttles or beats will be significant but not enough to heal the wound that has resulted in the ignition of fury and the loss of control, meaning the murderous act continues until the victim lies dead. Therein the fuel halts from the deceased victim. The narcissist may gain fuel from the reaction of witnesses also but ultimately that burst of fuel has gone with the demise of the victim. The murdering Lesser may use the fact of his killing to gain fuel in the future but as of now, he has lost a major appliance (if for instance he has murdered his IPPS) and therefore he will face a fuel crisis if he does not achieve fuel from alternative sources.
  2. Going, going gone. There are circumstances where the narcissist recognises that the major fuel provider is ‘on the way out’ and thus the fuel is going to be lost anyway. This is not the situation where the appliance is escaping or leaving – our narcissistic perspective of you always belonging to us means that your escape, leaving or departure is not something that will happen because we control you and we will bring you back under our control through a Initial Grand Hoover or through Follow-Up Hoovers. Thus, if someone is about to escape, move away etc, this is not applicable. The situation of Going, Going, Gone applies to where the appliance is at risk of dying. There are two clear situations where this arises ; terminal injury or illness and suicide. In respect of terminal injury or illness, the narcissist knows that the fuel source will not be around for much longer and therefore ‘helping’ this person on their way would appeal to particular narcissists. There also has to be a benefit associated with such an act, namely doing it as an act of revenge for wounding, punishing for railing against the narcissist’s control and such like.

With regard to suicide, if the narcissist recognises that the victim is at a very low ebb and therefore is likely to end their own life and thus deprive (in one final act of defiance) the narcissist of fuel etc, the narcissist will encourage that individual to take their life and push them over the edge. This is rare, but accords with a desire on the part of the narcissist to punish and gain revenge. This punishment and revenge goes beyond that normally experienced and would be as a consequence of a major exposure and/or major wounding. Thus if an individual is in a position whereby suicidal ideation occurs, the narcissist is aware of this and senses that it is likely to occur, the narcissist, in accordance with his or her god-like view of themselves and the need to exact punishing revenge will pressure, cajole, encourage and manipulate to push the victim over the edge so that he or she commits suicide.

3.  Malice. A Greater Narcissist wants you dead. There is no Going, Going Gone scenario which would be harnessed by any of the schools of narcissists. In this instance the malicious and calculating Greater has determined that your death is required. Again, this is rare and the Greater will have evaluated that the loss of a useful appliance is offset by the need to dis-incentivise this individual. There will be no clumsy rage-filled Lesser bludgeoning, or pillow-smothering Mid-Ranger with the dying cancer-ridden parent. Here the Greater sees you as a problem, an obstacle which must be removed. Usually it will be because the Greater recognises that you have access to information which will cause him or her considerable difficulty or that you have the ability to create a significant exposure problem. The Greater will not go down this route lightly, instead he or she will look to manipulate the situation in an alternative manner, but ultimately the Greater’s malicious core, their need for the maintenance of the status quo and their superiority means that sometimes, sometimes there is a need to remove an individual completely. It may be made to be an accident, it may be subtle, it may involve a contract killing, but certain individuals, on rare occasions, will be removed because they pose a threat to the Greater’s plans and control. The individual may be a romantic appliance, a business appliance or a familial appliance, but if the Greater deems their removal necessary and this outweighs the benefits of continued punishment, torture and fuel provision from this individual, then they will be dis-incentivised.

Thus, the prevailing circumstances are that we do not want you dead, no matter how many times it might be threatened, because an alive appliance is a very useful appliance. However, on rare occasions there will be exceptions.



131 thoughts on “Why the Narcissist Wants You Dead

  1. fiddleress says:

    I wish I’d known this as a child, that the narcissist doesn’t really want you dead, when I saw my MatriNarc grab a kitchen knife and thrust it through the air towards my father. I have got over it now, though it took me years, and it has been eleven years since I last saw her (and my father, who never managed to escape). Absolutely no contact for nine years. I did move and change my phone number. Since she managed to manipulate my whole family against me and my brother (who has also gone no contact with her), she has no way of knowing my address.
    And I feel absolutely no guilt at ‘abandoning’ (as people generally view it) my mother – that I call her my genitor.

  2. Mary says:

    I very much appreciate that this site helps me put the pieces together. I was separated from the Narcissist, developed cancer and his response was ‘the attorney says that I am screwed financially because of your cancer but maybe the best course of action, legally speaking, is waiting for you (meaning me) to die’. And he would call at 3 in the am, drunk and crying, fussing about me dying, but he wasn’t concerned about me, it was all about how my dying would affect him. He never asked me how I was feeling, what the test results were, how my surgery went, it was all about him. Good news, tho. I didn’t die (oops), but he drank himself to death soon after and his parents were very, very upset that he died INSTEAD OF ME. Yeah. Narcissism runs in the family.

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Mary, I feel so happy you are here and that he is dead. So there’s that. I’m the death empath, I advocate for bad people to receive a well-deserved death. Like Dexter but with empathy. What a shitty idiot, he’s perfectly fine where he is now, in hell.

    2. WhoCares says:

      Mary: Wow. Just Wow.

    3. Kim e says:

      Mary…Karma is a wonderful thing when it works as intended

      1. HG Tudor says:

        There is no such thing.

        1. Pati says:

          HG, I take it then that you dont believe on what goes around comes around?

          1. HG Tudor says:


          2. Pati says:

            I get it you believe in getting even Steven or Revenge?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            I believe in winning first time around.

          4. Pati says:

            Haha ,so no three times a charm for you!

          5. Violetta says:

            Sometimes the very traits that enabled the narcs to succeed initially will trip them up. Meghan Markle’s pushiness and over-confidence, which allowed her to get in Harry’s life in the first place, also turned the public and the RF against her.

            It doesn’t always work, alas. Decades ago, the sloppy research, backbiting, and love of committee work some of my grad school narcs displayed would have seen them stuck in professional plateaus. Now they’ve got tenure. Sometimes their students rip into them on ratemyprofessors, but sometimes they don’t see through them at all. Either way, I really shouldn’t raise my ET by clicking on it.

          6. Violetta says:

            OTOH ..maybe the grad student I referred to as “Evil Bitch-Monster From Hell” will stockpile toilet paper and giant economy size bottles of hand sanitizer, and they will all fall on her head and crush her to death.

    4. Witch says:

      I love a happy ending

    5. lisk says:

      Wow, Mary!

      I admire your resilience.

  3. Sweetest Perfection says:

    I believe these are the same reasons why the Empath would want the narc death. At least in my case. Speaking of, anyone fantasized about her narc getting coronavirus?

    1. Sweetest Perfection says:

      Narc’s death.

      1. Violetta says:

        Someone posted a comment on a flu article that anyone who took sufficient sick time to a) recover and b) not pass Coronavirus to anyone else wasn’t guaranteed a job waiting when they got back. I suggested the moment he knew he was sick he go in the boss’s office and cough in his face

        1. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Haha, I would actually try to trigger a hoover. Then make out with him. To hell, from me, with love.

          1. Lorelei says:

            I could more easily make out with a lower lesser in a crack house over a disabled toilet Sweetest. Seriously. I could not stomach touching that man.

          2. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I could, you know in my case I wouldn’t have to invest long. Haaa.

          3. Lorelei says:

            And why are toilets often disabled? And what is the allure of these in crack houses? Please enlighten me.

          4. Violetta says:

            It’s a Differently Abled toilet.

            If I ever hear from WBPN, it will be because he wants someone to change his Depends. Um, I don’t deserve the honor.

    2. WhoCares says:


      I am sure you’re the only one. 😉

      I have a related question – anyone had to confront the potential reality of breaching a court order vs. protecting their child from coronavirus?

      1. FYC says:

        Hi WhoCares, Can you contact the court and ask for special consideration? I understand many US courts are permitting authorized changes due to COVID19. I googled this topic and found this atty’s Q & A on COVID19 and child custody and visitation. Hopefully it has something helpful.

        1. Lorelei says:

          Only interjecting because of my interface with managing the virus. The mortality rate for children is highly unlikely. Interesting avenue for a mid range facade to make a former empath partner appear smeared by a narcissist intervening in such a way.. Schools are closed to prevent the domino effect of mass gathering and infection spread in general, which would in turn impact the more vulnerable. My main difference right now in assessments and initial orders is to separate the elderly period—they are my priority. Kids are prohibited to be here unless a patient. Only one visitor at a time allowed during certain hours. It is slow, peaceful and the hysteria is a little disproportionate due to mass media inundation of fear. Yes, it’s serious—but this is not riddled with the potential of say Ebola. Ebola would make me anxious. (Two different disease processes entirely) Courts are unlikely to cater to an issue of this nature. Public buildings more likely to close than entertain minor epidemiological possibilities.

          1. WhoCares says:


            Thank-you, your insight is greatly appreciated.

            “The mortality rate for children is highly unlikely. ”

            I have been paying attention to the statistics and it is (somewhat) reassuring that children are the least likely to be severely affected. However, a child can still be a carrier of the virus and in a situation where a child has limited parental units to care for them and no alternative adults in their lives, the concern is slightly different.

            Curious – has talk surfaced of how it’s rather unique that Covid19 most severely affects the elderly – when historically similar illnesses, that target the respiratory system, usually affect the very old and the very young more equally?

          2. Lorelei says:

            I don’t get the sense that we feel
            COVID is in any way mysterious per se. SARS wasn’t a mystery—this is SARS 2003 squared. Most of us are not really overly stressed aside from being potentially stuck at work for days. Personally, I always need an inhaler when I get a URI so I do not want it—I have a fairly reactive airway. Just think of a stronger flu—similar principles in many ways. Elderly are always more vulnerable for obvious reasons. Pregnant women are a bit immuno-impacted differently as well. Kids unlikely to get overly sick. There will always be outliers though. Last night was peaceful—most visitors are prohibited and can be arrested on the spot for arguing. I have no hesitation having anyone arguing with me removed. This very cautious approach is an epidemiological strategy to socially dilute contact and decrease the spread of COVID. Overkill? Maybe. Appropriate—for those who will never die as a result of it they’ll never know how lucky they got I suppose. I’m still awake because I had to get groceries due to restricted hours at the stores and shelves are marginally stocked. I’m actually drinking beer at 8:44am and quite pleased about it. I work the next three days after today—updates will inevitably occur daily.

          3. WhoCares says:

            Thanks Lorelei,
            “Just think of a stronger flu ”
            That’s what I keep telling myself.

        2. WhoCares says:


          Thank-you for that and thank-you HG for allowing the YT video link.
          I hadn’t even thought of searching online but have been proactive in my situation in making legal inquiries etc. This video is most helpful.
          It is a touchy situation, no matter how you look at it, but given a mid-ranger’s tendency to jump on suggestions of “parental alienation” or “willful withholding of access”, in combination of extra scrutiny (in some cases) it is super important to become informed and have a plan in mind. I am also factoring in the eagerness of a mid-ranger to gleefully engage extra court activity – especially in the possible event of fuel shortages due to ‘social distancing’…but it all has to be weighed against protecting your child’s health. It isn’t fun thinking about this.

          1. FYC says:

            WhoCares, I’m pleased it was of use. It would be only natural for a MRN to bemoan the situation and manipulate instead of having everyone’s best interest at heart. It’s absolutely good to consider any possible outcome in your court battles and to take measures to protect your health, but do your best to return to the moment and not worry too much. You have HG in your camp and he is a very powerful ally indeed. You are in my thoughts and I hope you and your son stay healthy and unperturbed by your ex.

          2. WhoCares says:

            Thank-you FYC.
            I am trying to be informed and prudent and not alarmist in my actions. So I really appreciate this discussion, as well as Lorelei’s contribution.
            Part of the issue is that I have hard evidence that my narcissist has traveled to places and to events that could have exposed him to Covid19. And I don’t know if this is regular behaviour on his part – it could be a one off.
            Everyone else seems to believe that most people would be accountable and self-quarantine where applicable, but those are normals and empaths projecting their sense of responsibility on everyone else. We here know that not everyone does ‘accountability’ …but could fake it in effort to maintain control and pursue fuel.
            That’s where I’m at with this subject.

            Stay safe FYC 💜

          3. FYC says:

            WhoCares, I think it is wise to be aware and plan, I just don’t want you to have too much stress. Plan for what you can control; your ex will not be one of those things. I would think Es and Ns are at a higher risk than Normals. I say this because so many Es are in caregiving roles. Ns would likely feel entitled to do as they please to serve their prime aims in the moment without considering the outcome, and Normals will care for their own families and not worry too much about others. I have read what I can find in science journals regarding this virus. You and your son are in a low risk group for serious complications. The data show that the highest risk groups are younger than 2 and older than 70. That said, if anyone has an underlying condition, they are at risk, just more so with age. Some reports state that young children >3yrs may possibly be impervious to the virus and this is being studied. My personal belief is that very many have been infected, some asymptomatic, some experience symptoms mildly, others severely. Most would not think much more of this than a “cold” or flu if not for the potential 10x higher death rate than the flu *for susceptible groups*. Bottom line: Do what you can and appeal to the court with your concerns. In my county, lower courts have rescheduled hearings 30 days forward and upper courts are rescheduling more than 30 days out for medical reasons. Check with your county to see what their COVID19 policy is and this may put your mind to rest. I hope you and yours stay safe and healthy too💞

            Lorelei, Thank you for your front-line input. I agree that limiting exposure is a good idea.

          4. WhoCares says:

            Thanks FYC. Even just talking this out helps. Plus, all the extra info – wow, thank-you!

          5. FYC says:

            You are always welcome.

    3. Lorelei says:

      Dearest Sweetest.. I’m now required to have daily (when I work) meetings over screening for this pain In the ass situation. Believe me—the death isn’t that awful. Think bad flu—intubation and you end up developing ARDS & finally dying on the ventilator once sepsis overwhelms etc. They aren’t aware of much more than the breathlessness prior to medical sedation. It’s not miserable enough. Sorry honey.

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I’m not so evil, Lorelei. I’m not a sadist. I just want him dead.

        1. Lorelei says:

          It’s ok Sweetest. I think such thoughts. On a different note.. COVID has about a 1/6 mortality rate for very elderly individuals. Your narc isn’t that old, but he may fall into about a 2-4% mortality range.. (It’s less than 1% for young healthy people) Can always dream. I’m devastated. First, I had to put Italy on hold. My trip to northern Norway and Denmark is now canceled. I was to play in the snow in the Lyngen Alps. I had plans with my friend’s brother in Denmark. I’m now stuck in the Midwest evaluating patients for COVID in a hazmat tent. Is this a pity party. Yes. I knew you wouldn’t mind me crying a bit. I am really bummed. Stuck here with people coughing in my face. Kids have no school for 3’weeks—I have no peace and quiet. Thank you for the bitch session.

          1. Violetta says:

            Both my grad institution and F.U. are switching to online classes. Sports events have been canceled or postponed. I was planning to visit the East Coast, partly to re-establish publishing and media contacts, but also to audition for a show my vocal coach and others have been developing for some time. I’ve done an informal reading of it and seen a backer’s audition, but this is the first time I could do a production, since F.U. phased out my job. My VC still thinks we could put it up (it would open in April, and the ban would be over by then), but before that point, there could be problems with interstate travel, rehearsal space, and as I wondered, “Will we have an audience or any reviewers?”

            I could stay in the Midwest where I have all that frozen chicken soup with Magic Healing Herbs, but I figure if the flu kills me, I won’t have to worry about getting a job or what my now-tenured grad classmates would think of me if they knew how pathetic my academic career has been. And if it doesn’t, hey we all got strep for Into the Woods, and with a combination of antibiotics, Fisherman’s Friend, and leaving soggy Kleenex in the wings (until the techies complained), we got through it.

          2. Lorelei says:

            Ha! You are also in the Midwest. We are stuck here together. I’m wondering if I can drive the kids to somewhere during our time off. Montreal is nice but chilly as hell for them right now. Not sure what the situation is there—need to check but do know their political leaders wife has the virus. I could go south of course but Florida annoys the F out of me. I was in a pissing match with a tour I booked in Norway though and got an email that I won the battle of the bitches. I was prepared to go ballistic. Who says an empath can’t be a royal bitch?! They denied my position on the matter yesterday until I called and just got off the phone with Jesus Christ himself. I love Cumberland Island off the coast of Georgia. That is a thought. You know JFK Jr. married at a small chapel on that island. I went backpacking there in my youth. It was an excursion from my boarding school where I was forced to ride that stupid ass horse named “Sugar.” Sugar hated me. I hated cleaning her filthy feet and her tail always whipped me when I was behind her!

          3. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I wouldn’t go anywhere. That’s how the virus spreads. Quarantined people in certain European cities are moving to the beach with their families and making everyone sick with them. They act like they are on a fucking vacation. The best thing to do is to stay home.

        2. Lorelei says:

          And Sweetest—I’m guessing his general age range because I assume he’s around your age which I guess is in the 40’s based on your love of Depeche Mode! Sorry—damn of he were only 80!

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I’m immensely younger, like HG.

          2. Lorelei says:

            Haha! HG is maybe 30?

          3. Lorelei says:

            Sweetest—you mentioned COVID for your narc. I know this makes me look deranged, but even better would be the squealing scene from The Deliverance. Daily. I’m
            sorry, but I honestly thought of it today and it’s really emotional rape—what happened. The delivery of him being demeaned so incredibly is what would satisfy me. Or would it? Yes, it would.

          4. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Lorelei, I mentioned the virus for a very Machiavellian reason. Can’t reveal more info, but I mapped in my head the connections and his chances of being exposed are higher. It’s just a question of time. But yes, at his super young age (mine) he won’t probably die. I haven’t seen The Deliverance, should I?

          5. Lorelei says:

            Absolutely you should see that deplorable
            movie. It’s iconic but be warned—the rape scene is unpleasant in its context. Clockwork Orange grossed me out but it’s iconic enough to recommend. Same concept—just be warned.

          6. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I’ve seen Clockwork Orange a few times. It’s quite disturbing, but it also reminds me of the days I run to work and realize in my car that I only put mascara in one eye.

          7. Lorelei says:

            Better yet Sweetest.. Before I would touch my ex I would have group sex in video to a banjo melody with the men sitting on the porch or whatever structure it was depicted in The Deliverance. I am absolutely not kidding. There is only so much weird shit you can even really do in one single video. Eventually even the narcissists need a nap.

          8. Lorelei says:

            Think of David Spade’s nonchalant “Dude chill—I’m putting the lotion on..” Does this ring a bell? It’s really how ridiculous all of their maneuvers are and how they should be viewed.

          9. WhoCares says:

            SweetP – haha!
            Re: Clockwork Orange

            “it also reminds me of the days I run to work and realize in my car that I only put mascara in one eye.”

            I had to endure watching Clockwork Orange far too many times alone in a dark projection booth.

            That movie is both memorable and disturbing.

          10. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Lorelei, look at the silver lining: you could be trapped in a place in Europe put under quarantine, like many of my friends are at this moment. I worry about my family and I don’t know when I’ll be able to see them again. I know you deal with this everyday at work, but you have no idea what the situation in places like Italy is because the news that we get in the USA does not show the deep impact of the situation. It is Dantesque. So be happy that you could cancel before it was too late. And be careful while at work, but you already know how to do that 😘

          11. Lorelei says:

            Correct Sweetest. I’ve been told by my family not to visit Sunday due to their fear of me making them sick. My friend lives in a small town in Italy and they are very restricted currently. We have to protect our vulnerable citizens—period. (Generally the elderly)
            Epidemiology is a huge interest and I see value in treating this in a fragile fashion. Granted, even some of my colleagues are dismissive but they aren’t viewing the overall picture. The death rate is higher than influenza—fact. My inconvenience is a minor consequence of a greater good. I have a concern locally due to schools being closed for three weeks. Many children only receive meals consistently at their schools. I work with individuals in the lowest socioeconomic zip code in the city. I’m very concerned because there are summer programs in place for feeding them. The rapid closure means no provisions are in place to serve these children. When we expand our thinking we see many issues through a diverse prism. The impacts aren’t simple or “just to us.” Love you!

          12. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I believe the cafeterías are still serving food for students who need them. The real problem is group gatherings in small places, like classrooms. In my country, schools will be closed starting this Monday, but not so kindergartens. Because parents still need to go to work and if they don’t have anyone to leave the kids with, they will immediately go with their grandparents. Kids are strong carriers of the virus but they may not present any symptoms, however, they transmit the disease to elderly people. This is all a nightmare.

          13. Pati says:

            SP ,it really is I bought baby wipes instead of toilet paper much better anyways

          14. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Toilet paper is biodegradable and you can get more for less though…

          15. Pati says:

            True, but that was the only thing available yesterday so I bought them. I honestly like them and the smell good too.
            A lady was arguing with the cashier and being so rude to her because the toilet paper was sold out. It wasnt her fault and I understand the frustration ,but no need to be so rude . She must have been a Narcissist ha ha.

          16. Lorelei says:

            My volunteer work is an assembly of low income moms & babies and is canceled so we are looking at a different out reach approach—no large gatherings and we’ve restricted visitors in the emergency dept. I may be doing some clinic work but haven’t decided—the screening clinics are planned for 8 weeks. Briefings are several times a day. The problem with the clinics are that they are 8-5 daily and my kids have no school for 3 weeks due to the public health measures in place. I can’t really leave them for that many hours. That is why I work the schedule I do! Ugh. When I left them this past weekend they got on my roof with friends. They had to write essays on the dangers etc. I swear they are trying to kill me.

    4. Witch says:

      It’s a shame all those victim narcissists who barely leave the house won’t be catching anything

      1. Ashley says:

        Where I am I bought the last large pack of Charmin Ultra toilet paper. There are no more handsoaps, wipes, bottles of rubbing alcohol, dish detergents etc left. Limited paper towels. I have all the supplies I need because I bought them ahead of time as I always do, but I’m concerned about when they run out. There is no sign of restocking in any store I have been to. I am angry.

        1. Witch says:

          I’m sure they will restock soon or there is always online shopping. I understand why people are scared but be reasonable about things. Even if we go into lock down it will probably be for about a month which is not that long and if you run out of toilet roll during that time you can always halal your batty and put it over the bath and it give a gush of water.
          People should stop booking flights and keep washing their hands if they want to actually help
          (Although I’m going to Morocco in May but I already paid for it prior to this outbreak so I’m risking it all)

        2. Pati says:

          Thats because people are panicking buying in bulk and have no consideration for others in the store, and thats why the shelfs are completely empty. They should be limit per person. Just my opinion.

          1. WhoCares says:

            Many stores where I am have run out of toilet paper and hand sanitizer – others have started rationing these items to customers – the rationing probably should have started sooner.

          2. Pati says:

            So true, going to buy toilet paper with a bunch of people is like Grand Central Station.

        3. Sweetest Perfection says:

          Ashley, do not think of when they run out. That only causes anxiety. Maximize what you have now. They should be able to eventually restock. That’s easier said than done because I got a panic attack today thinking I wanna help my family and I can’t travel.

          1. Violetta says:

            Going grocery shopping today, or trying to. Got my usual supply of everything last time, alas. We’ll see what’s on the shelves, if anything.

            Now if they could just stop the checkout clerks from licking their fingers to open a bag …I do self-check when possible, but some stores don’t have it.

          2. Pati says:

            Gross, I see people do that when shuffling paper and the newspaper on the train. I just roll my eyes and get out my hand sanitizer and try not to touch the handles.
            One guy licked his fingers and ficked his eyebrow and mustache. I tried to hold in my laugh.

          3. Violetta says:

            Got paper towels, which will do in a pinch. Aaaaaannnnndddd….it’s snowing. Of course.

            Fortunately, I have rum in the house. HG sounds just as good with hot buttered rum as he does with hot white chocolate plus a shot. I tried it.

            In addition, it turns out DM did a grunge album in the ’90s, so I’ll be tracking that down on YT, because it doesn’t seem to hav got much airplay here.

            I once thought grunge would save the world. Or destroy it, but in a cool, nihilist way. Sigh.

          4. Sweetest Perfection says:

            If you’re referring to Songs of Faith and Devotion from 1993, my faves are “I Feel You” and “Walking in My Shoes.” “In Your Room” goes great with rum too.

          5. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Fuck it I’m gonna drink some Rioja while I listen to it too Violetta!

          6. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I just remembered the original video of “Walking in My Shoes” opens with two Venetian masks of the doctors of the Plague in medieval times. Oh, the irony.

          7. Lorelei says:

            My knowledge of DM is next to nothing.

          8. WokeAF says:

            “ HG sounds just as good with hot buttered rum as he does with hot white chocolate plus a shot. I tried it.”

            Made me LOL

          9. Violetta says:


            I would never recommend something I had not pretested.

    5. Kirsty says:

      Omg yes. I thought I was the only one.

    6. blackunicorn123 says:

      SP – oh yes!!! And he mine. I had the misfortune to see him the other day and I happened to do a small cough. Quick as a flash he announced “Coronavirus”, with a vindictive and triumphant smile on his face. I laughed, because the thick bastard hadn’t realised, that if I did have it, he could very likely have it too now. 😂

      1. Sweetest Perfection says:

        I would have spit in his face and enjoyed his reaction. I have a question: HG, as a psychopath and Ultra, do you worry about the pandemia affecting you directly or you just continue to thrive on magical thinking mode? Also, how many rolls of toilet paper have you hoarded so far?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          1. I do not worry about anything.

          2. There is no reason to worry about Covid-19 . I am young, in excellent health and wash my hands a lot anyway.

          3. Platinum ingots exit my bottom, so toilet rolls are not a concern. Those hoarding items really are clowns, if I was in the supermarket when they did so, I would take them out back and shoot them.

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Platinum ingots! Ouch.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            They are of the mini variety.

          3. Violetta says:

            Platinum…That could complicate the effectiveness of the Cleveland Steamer. People might not be all that insulted.

            Otoh, I don’t suppose you would be prone to such a Lesser move.

          4. Renarde says:

            Psst SP

            I have it on good authority that he got a minion to artfully cut up Vankin and Lundys’ books.

            HG will be all good.

            I have Lundys time. I try to read it.

            I do try.

          5. Julie Petkovska says:

            HG, whilst I understand your sentiment, I am currently working at a meat processing manufacturing plant. 1 coronavirus case and the plant shuts down. We are currently working with management to section off areas to limit human movement and spread.

            Complete shut down will mean no ham, bacon, salami or small goods of any kind.

            Same with all food manufacturing, they will shut for a period.

            Also remember that people buy in bulk to send to poorer countries and villages.

            Not all people are hoarding toilet paper the privileged that do with no regard for others are narcissists..

            Let’s hope this thing doesn’t spread, we will all be affected.

          6. HG Tudor says:

            Of course not all people are hoarding toilet paper, some of us have a brain and do not do so and others cannot hoard because the idiots have stripped the shelves of certain products already. The herd mentality is truly pathetic. It is not the case that the privileged who are hoarding are narcissists, the majority will be normals who fail to think the situation through and follow the herd. I still do not understand why toilet paper is being hoarded. The virus does not turn you into a defecation machine and if you ran out of toilet roll there are other methods (as Witch has pointed out) with regard to cleaning your behind.

          7. Pati says:

            Just atay in one of Trump’s hotels they have a toilet afterwards that does that for you.

          8. WokeAF says:

            Zero COVID cases on my island as of today.
            They’ve now cut most of the ferry sailings which is brilliant.
            No panic here, there’s some logical “stocking up” happening but the grocery has a one-per-customer rule on the TP just in case. We have billions of ass-friendly leaves if needed.
            The Community have volunteers to drive groceries to the elderly , and all is calm, albeit quiet as a massive drop in touristas on a weekend, but it’s a nice break.
            If this is some piddly virus I’d rather not get it- but if it’s the Big One I happily volunteer to be Great Gramma Woke who died from the Corona.
            I’m of the mind we need a reset .
            I’m hoping it’s the fall of the economy or some shit and I’ll get to see all hell break loose before I die and if my kids survive maybe they’d get to see the very early beginning of Age of Aquarius. That would be AWESOME .
            Regardless the TP gig is entertaining me, and the Italians singing and playing instruments on their verandas filled my heart with pride and love for the human spirit.

            If you’re not quarantined , Pass out TP to elderly stuck at home, ppl! They’ve lived through wars, they love to tell stories about it , wear a mask if u must and bring ‘em supplies and let em tell you their stories . Xx

        2. Witch says:

          I don’t understand this toilet roll thing because who is rich enough to not go to work?
          What about when they get a court letter for their council tax arrears? So many questions

          1. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Witch, many people have been put under quarantine so they can work from home if their job allows that. I just can’t understand why toilet paper is such a necessity.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            I agree. I wondered whether because there was a reported shortage in China (there was a robbery of a toilet paper delivery I believe) whether the Hard of Understanding elsewhere think that this then means that for some reason toilet paper will be in short supply because of Covid-19 and therefore this induces panic buying, resulting in an created shortage. It´ s a load of shit.

          3. WhoCares says:

            Unconscious planning ahead for fuel shortages when people are stuck in their homes?

            “Hey neighbour, can you use/do you have a roll of toilet paper?”

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Just find a MMR Narcissist, they are the arse-licking brigade, problem solved.

          5. WhoCares says:

            Ooh.. HG..you went there.

          6. WhoCares says:

            Shaking my head; but laughing as I do so.

          7. Witch says:

            This is so annoying, I’m not getting all my notifications!

            @SP there are a lot of jobs where you can’t work from home though and even so, most employers will let you stay in quarantine for 2 weeks before they start asking if you’re coming back.
            Within my team at work if someone is off sick for a week it’s a pain in the arse because the work load is really heavy

          8. Violetta says:

            “It´s a load of shit.”

            Eye sea watt ewe deed their.

          9. Renarde says:


            I’m in agreement. I do not understand it either. I was in my local shop the other day and saw it for myself. But I can happily report the shelves were being restocked.

          10. Sweetest Perfection says:

            At first I thought one of the symptoms of the virus was intestinal problems but that’s not the case. People can be influenced so easily … HG, I love when you use the expression “the hard of understanding.”

          11. HG Tudor says:

            Good isn’t it.

          12. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Yes. It makes you sound like a god disapproving the narrow vision of those “stiff-neck” people.

          13. HG Tudor says:

            Not like, but a.

          14. Sweetest Perfection says:

            It makes you sound like the god you are. How about that now?

          15. HG Tudor says:

            Hg approves.

          16. Renarde says:


            That is a good turn of phrase. A Gammon was on the wireless yesterday, suggesting we use The Gruniad. Personally, I prefer the DM.

          17. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I detest pilers. I understand you take cautionary measures and maybe buy more non-perishable food just in case. But crazy people assaulting the shelves and leaving everything empty are disgusting. My parents just informed me they went to the supermarket and there’s absolutely nothing. I worry for them.

          18. Renarde says:


            Are you UK?

            It is disgusting. I also think that BJs speech yesterday was appalling.

            Schools need to be closed. Immediately. They are the spreaders.

            If this was to happen, the ones I would worry about are the 11s, 12s and 13s. But there are ways and means around that by using virtual classrooms.

            It’s not ideal by any stretch but it’s still an option.

            Cynical old bitch that I am, I would rather hazard a guess that BJ is making hay as the sun shines.

            I think BJ is actually enabling a complete break down of society so he can ride in and rescue it.

            I am beyond disgusted. I also believe he has a tiny cock too.

            It is now becoming more than worrying. Hope your parents keep well.

          19. Sweetest Perfection says:

            No, Renarde. I am from one of those undesirable European countries banned at US airports right now. Unlike the UK. And here in the US many schools are still functioning. I just can’t. I agree with you, they need to be closed and restaurants too. People here are still going out to eat and act like normal. My neighbors yesterday were talking about trying a new food truck. I was actually looking forward to escape small talk and not socialize with anyone. I’m the exact opposite of a misanthropist, but sometimes it’s too much.

          20. Renarde says:


            Ahh I see. Thanks for clarification.

            I was very puzzled by the concept that Italy kept open the bars and restaurants yet were restricting the overall movements of 60 million.

          21. lisk says:

            BJ’s approach—or non-approach—seems the most rational and reasonable.

            Perhaps that opinion seems non-empathic and/or foolishly optimistic. Or maybe it is empathic towards the longer term quality of life and livelihood of humankind. Big Picture and all that.

            In either case, Mother Nature will win in the end. She always does.

          22. Renarde says:


            Hes an aware narc. You and I both know this. BJ is acting in BJs intrest. And that of his minions and lieutenants.

            I am a scientist and it seems to me that the logical way of approaching is short, sharp shock. Just as the Eurozone is doing.

            BJ does not care if the elderly and vulnerable die. And they will. BJ cares about BJ.

            Yes, nature will always win. But at what, preventable expense?

          23. lisk says:

            Who is not a *narc* in politics?

            Most of us are thinking and acting in our own interest. Actually, I do not know who is not doing so.

            Mother Nature wins at control. Perhaps she is The Original Narcissist.

          24. Sweetest Perfection says:

            But if BJ is not doing anything about it, and the virus is still getting spread in the UK, why isn’t the UK banned from visiting the US? Just wondering what type of disgusting political interests are at play.

          25. HG Tudor says:

            It is now.

          26. Sweetest Perfection says:

            Damn you’re fast! Thank you HG.

          27. lisk says:

            …though UK & Eire are now banned from Monday on.

          28. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I didn’t think they were until HG mentioned it and I just checked. I’ve been personally preoccupied with my family’s struggles so sorry for not catching up with the news.

          29. Pati says:

            Schools shut downs,shortage of toliet paper ,all sporting events and conferences cancelled Business will suffer and recession may be coming ahead.
            This is just awful

          30. Cloudy says:

            Forget the paper products and buy HG Tudor products

          31. HG Tudor says:

            HG approves.

          32. Sweetest Perfection says:

            I suffer for the dead people, the ones that need supplies (real ones, not narc ones), the elderly who don’t have help. I worry about the desperation of being locked up and countries being alienated. The economy will go down and back again. But the people? The families? I was watching a video of Italian people locked up in their houses and still singing to mitigate the pain and I had to stop it. I was gonna die of grief.

          33. Pati says:

            SP, it is really sad for these people! This whole virus had turned the world upside down. It spreads fast too. Stay healthy!

          34. Sweetest Perfection says:

            It breaks my heart that my parents are not allowed to visit their grandchild because of potential contamination. They are old and this baby is the only excitement in their lives, together with me and my sister visiting every now and then, which won’t happen at the moment as none of us live in the same country anymore. Of all the fears I could have in my life not being able to travel to see my family has always been at the top, but I always thought it was irrational to think that way.

          35. Pati says:

            I am so sorry to hear that SP, I feel the same way .
            Hopefully things will get better and you can visit them. Its just terrible especially when they are old. I had to cancel a playdate for my daughter too. We are playing Snakes and Ladders,Battleship, and Operation. Anything to keep her off her tablet for so long.

          36. Renarde says:


            Just find a MMR Narcissist, they are the arse-licking brigade, problem solved.

            Eww! NS has touched a new bottom!

            [Boom Tish]

            Here ’till Tuesday.

          37. HG Tudor says:

            I think you meant “Bum Tush”

          38. Renarde says:

            Ha ha! You win!

          39. HG Tudor says:


  4. privatejourney60 says:

    HG, my triggers welled up while reading through this theme, I realized that the Abuses I have privately endured — Character Assassinations & Action of Malice layered with ‘Racial-Cultural profiling and slurs’ from ex-intimate partners, social circles, business and personal dealings originate from ‘Narcissistic individuals’. I also realized that every female worldwide to this day, are continuously culturally, family, religiously conditioned, then schools, society & community enabled to become a masochist (gratification on one’s suffering physical pain or humiliation, self-imposed or imposed by others) by a unconscious sadist (behind closed doors).

    Thank you beyond words, HG for your information in sharp honesty. I am ready to sharpen my sense of well being and hack off this specific pain trigger.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are most welcome PJ60 I am pleased to see that it has motivated you.

      1. libertygal1776 says:

        I have two exNs who want me dead. One is the narc I was with for four years and am recently away from. The other is my son’s father. Both are attempting to push me to suicide, one through hate mail the other through the court system. My life…..what a mess…. But I live still. You are not the only ones capable of spite.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Re-assess your no contact regimes with regard to the two individuals. I anticipate there are significant improvements which can be made which will enable you to avoid the purported attempts to drive you to suicide.

        2. Anm says:

          Libertygal, I went through the same thing with both of my children’s father’s. They piggy backed on one another, to torture me while i was going through court. They would actually call eachother, plan how to make my life hell, hang up. And then I would get bombarded with text from both of them telling me how worthless I was. They knew if I heard it from 2 people, instead of 1, it would be more mentally abusive, and it was. Like HG said, go no contact as much as the courts allow. Feel free to show the judge the sadistic text. it feels overwhelming, but the judge needs to see them. If it create PTSD triggers for you, have a friend help you gather evidence for court. Make a safety plan for what you will do if the court hearings do not go your way. That’s the most triggering time. A narcissist will temporarily feel empowered enough to amp up the abuse after hearings and you will feel depleted, so arrange to get rest after court

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